"Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season September 2006



Friday 1st September 2006
 Pheobe Cates was offered a leading part in which 1991 comedy but turned it down because she was pregnant?

Who was the last player to be sent off in a game at the old Wembley?
Transfer Tedium! With it being an international week, the lack of football is apparent, hence nothing for Wed and Thurs in August, however the transfer window is always good value for the optimists who harbour hopes that their club is about to sign a big name or, on the flip side, that their club is able to hang on to their star player. New Sunderland boss Roy Keane pulled out all the stops and signed every available Irish player and Dwight Yorke who may have Irish ancestory for all I know. Spurs were after every name under the sun, but ended up with Steed Malbranque and Pascal Chimbonda, both of which are okay signings, although Stuart Downing, also linked, would have been better. And then there's West Ham! Two Argentinian World Cup internationals! Wow. There's talk today that the arrival of Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano is seen as a stepping stone for them to move onto someone bigger and better and whilst that may be the case, you have to admire the Hammers for making bids in the first place. My primary concern would be that few South Americans settle in the UK that quickly or that well and by the end of the season, they may well be on their way anyway. I hope not though.


Saturday 2nd September 2006
 "If I could turn the page in time then I'd rearrange, just a day or two. Close my, close my, close my eyes." (Song Lyric)

England's biggest international win at Wembley was in 1982 when they walloped which nation 9-0?
Faroes Thrashed: Finally Scotland click against the smaller nations. For so long we've been the butt of jokes with the likes of Peru, Iran, Zaire, Costa Rica and the Faroes all getting a mention, but at half time today, even the most `glass half empty` type of Scot would have felt that a victory was on the cards with a 5-0 interval lead. Okay, it's only the Faroes, but we've struggled against them in the past and could have done again, however a first half all-attack blitz put us in dream lane and although only one more was added in the second half, it doesn't alter the fact that it was a decent win, a decent performance and a result that may raise a few eyebrows. More importantly, it should increase the confidence among the players hugely.

And Dora: As Scotland ended their rout, England began there's and for a while, I could see them beating the Scots score of six. Two early goals, followed by two either side of the break and a cricket score look on, however I was slightly disappointed that they only ended up with five. Jermaine Defoe strengthened the cause for whether he should have gone to the WC with two well taken goals as England played with width and incision that will cause problems for better nations than Andorra. Ok, some will moan that it was only 5-0, as I did earlier, but it's still a lovely start to what England will hope will be a trip to Austria and Switzerland in 2008.


Monday 4th September 2006
 During which film did Brad Pitt slip whilst filming and seriously injury his arm? The injury was then written into the script!

Who scored the two goals the only other time that England have played away to Macedonia?
Bit of a quiet football week this week so the diary will be every other day until Saturday when the club football starts again.

What Is A Thrashing? Here's an interesting one. I spotted this headline on the BBC web site, "Egypt Thrash Burundi." Having clicked on it, the final score was 4-1. Yesterday, whilst out in the car, the news headlines came on and they were reporting on Saturday's games including, "England hammer Andorra at Old Trafford as Scotland beat the Faroe Islands." Right, so 4-1 is a thrashing and 5-0 in a hammering. But 6-0 doesn't warrant a mention! Maybe I'm being finicky here, but please give some credit.


Wednesday 6th September 2006
 "I can remember when I was a little boy. My grandmother and I could hold conversations entirely without ever opening our mouths." (Film Quote)

Who was sent off for England in the home qualifier against Macedonia for Euro 2004?
The Mighty Jocks! Played two, won two! I'd have settled for that prior to Saturday although with Scotland nothing is ever guaranteed. The win in Lithuania was the sort of game that we used to self-destruct in and after going 2-0 up, the alarm bells began ringing when they pulled one back with a brilliant overhead kick to the extent that I was yelling at the screen to hoof it clear and keep it in the corner, not to mention close him down and don't foul him. Great start to the Euro 2008 campaign though, although the game against France next will be a massive test.

1966 All Over Again!: Played two, won two! England once again emulate the Scots and although the rarely looked in trouble away to Macedonia, they very nearly blew the lead when Ashley Cole's goalline clearance turned into an airshot and how he failed to backheel the ball into his own net is beyond me! Peter Crouch's goal, ironically missed by boss Steve McClaren (why do managers always miss goals within a minute of the second half?) looked over the line in real time and that was borne out by the officials and the replays. Not a Russian linesman in sight neither was one needed. The group looked quite straight forward for England and so it is turning out, although Macedonia and home and Croatia away in October will not be walkovers.

1982 All Over Again: Eye catching result of the night was surely Northern Ireland's win against Spain! Stupidly I stuck with watching the England game rather than France-Italy or the Ireland one, however it was all the more sweet with Leeds own David Healy netting all three! The same on Sunday would be great! It was a stunning result, all the more remarkable with Ireland twice being behind and it will go down in Irish folklore along with the 1982 WC Win in Spain and last years win against England. Odd isn't it that a nation can beat the might of Spain just days after Iceland sliced them to pieces. Still a funny old game eh?

Unlucky For Some: When I saw that Germany were 6-0 up at half time at San Marino, double figures looked very likely. Ultimately they ended up with 13, breaking the record for European Championship qualifying (12-1 Spain v Malta in 1983) and San Marino's record defeat (10-0 v Norway in 1992). We await more people mentioning that the likes of San Marino, Andorra and the Faroes should be involved in a pre-qualifying campaign to join the main qualifiers. Oh, and I wonder if the Germans `hammered`, `walloped`, `thumped,` `destroyed` or just simply `beat` San Marino?


Saturday 9th September 2006
 "We're so sorry, we told you not to hurry. Now it's just to late, you've got a certain date." (Song Lyric)

Which Ipswich goalkeeper saved eight of the ten penalties he faced in season 1979-80?
Three At The Top: Ah, proper football was back in a remarkable day that saw three different clubs occupy top spot in the Prem! Everton's derby win (thumping?) against Liverpool put them top as they showed their illustrious neighbours (a) how to finish and (b) how to capitalise on poor defending. Portsmouth then knocked them off after beating Wigan and keeping their record of not having conceded a goal yet this season. Then in the evening, Man United beat Spurs to return to the top. But the most remarkable game was at Bramhall Lane...

Penalty Shoot Out? Sheffield United and Blackburn ended up goalless however goodness knows how as THREE penalties were missed in the last twenty minutes. Lucas Neill had since saved firstly off and then Rovers keeper Brad Friedel did it twice from David Unsworth and later Rob Hulse. I'm prepared to be corrected, but I can't recall three pens missed before in a Prem game.

Utter Madness: Last night, my daughter and I went to our local theatre to see tribute band Complete Madness. As you'd expect, they are a tribute to ska legends Madness and whilst the first half was devoted to them, the second was various others of the ilk including The Specials, Bad Manners and the Piranha's (football anthem Tom Hark was the show-stopping finale!). I was never a big Ska or Two-Tone fan back in the early 80s but it's grown on me since, although it was my daughter's idea to see the show. They were superb, full of energy and quick fire costume changes and the music was spot on. The sax player was absolutely crazy and TWICE came up to the balcony where we were. Once to squirt water at us all (during Sun and the Rain) and then again to sit on the edge of the balcony (30 foot drop below!!) and casually, yet brilliantly, play the sax. Highly recommended for �12 which saw almost two hours of entertainment. They have a web site at Complete Madness.net . Take a look and if they are anywhere near you, it's well worth the bother. Oh, and if you've never heard Shame and Scandal which I hadn't until yesterday (it may even be a cover version) it's really worth listening to. Superb!


Sunday 10th September 2006
 "I came here to save my wife and my two children and six billion lives. it's too much. I just hope I'm smart enough and brave enough to save three." (Film Quote)

In 2003, Jay Bothroyd spent time in Italy with which club?
Stoppage Time Curse Strikes Again: Three times we've been on the box this season and now twice we've lost to a stoppage time goal. The Palace defeat was hard to take as we'd played well with ten men for the majority of the game whilst today it was equally hard to take as we'd created, and blew, some decent chances. That's not to say that Wolves didn't deserve anything but we didn't deserve to lose. That said, what a stunning winner! Jay Bothroyd took advantage of the Leeds defenders standing off and wondering what they'd have for tea to dispatch a beauty into the top corner. Best chant of the day though came from the Leeds fans when word got around that a certain Roy Keane was watching within the stadium. Rings of "There's Only One Alfie Haaland," probably raised a smile even to Keane. They'll be more of the same on Wednesday when we host Sunderland

Best Of British: Whether it's just me or not but West Ham v Aston Villa always seems to be on Sky! Last season the Hammers walloped Villa, this season it ended level in a game that had the hype of the two new Argetine arrivals surrounding it, yet ultimately gave us a superbly entertaining, pulsating encounter that saw defensive errors, goal-line clearances and efforts against the woodwork which was great for the neutral but not so much for fans and officials of the clubs. Both new stars started on the bench although Carlos Tevez came on after an hour, at which time the game seemed to go into a shell and never come out. Probably pure coincidence really but the last half hour never matched the opening hour for excitement.


Monday 11th September 2006
 "If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?" (Song Lyric)
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Reading's first league game at the Madejski stadium was against which club, themselves a top flight team until 1992?
As half expected, Reading are rapidly becoming this season's Wigan with wins at home against mid-table clubs, yet struggling away from home. Tonight against Man City, they were dominated for long periods, however poor finishing from City and a chance well taken from Reading decided the game, although it truth after the late, albeit harsh, sending off of Dabo, the hosts could have scored again quite easily. Remarkably, Reading have spent around �2m this summer and have kept the majority of the players that won them promotion. This can only be good for the club and positive proof that although the chairman might have a bottomless pit of money, it doesn't mean that he has to splash it around like confetti.

I caught an interview with England cricket's golden boy Freddie Flintoff on Sky Sports News yesterday and was stunned by the in-depth questions ahead of the Ashes squad being announced tomorrow. "Will it be a squad to win the Ashes?" Freddie was asked and although his reply was polite enough, inside he was probably screaming, "I bloody hope so, otherwise what's the point!!" Then came, "Would you like to be named captain?" Considering that this is the pinicle of international sport, again his reply was retrained enough despite every sinew roaring, "NO! Next stupid question!" I was left with a mixture of total embarrassment and utter hilarity and wondering whether the questions were aimed at ten-year olds or simply written by one.


Tuesday 12th September 2006
 One less famous tagline for which blockbuster read, "The Nation's No.1 Best-Selling Book now the Screen's Super-Thriller"?

During the 80s, which club finished 11th domestically but won the European Cup in the same season?
Liverpool In Yawn Mode: The Champions League is back! With it comes the usual mind boggling selection of which game to watch. ITV 1 and 4 were doing the English contingent and the rest were available of Sky with a combination of red buttons and numbers. I decided to break with tradition and watch the PSV-Liverpool instead of my usual `watch the home English club` plan and sods law, I chose one of the two goalless draws. It was interesting rather than exciting and whilst Liverpool would doubtless be happy with an away point, they almost won it with Steven Gerrard's late effort which somehow stayed out after hitting the post. They'll probably be pleased that the other game in the group ended goalless well - exciting group this one is going to be!

The New Stormbreaker: Our ageing kitchen door finally gave up the ghost yesterday and jammed or at least the handle did, resulting in the sort of security device that M.I.6 would be proud of! Unfortunetly, we didn't appreciated it too mcuh especially as the toilet was beyond the door andf totally out of bounds. A quick job with the screwdriver saw the handle come off but it remained jammed and totally unopenable so my plan was to get to the other side and unscrew it from there. As our house it quite old, the design is such that the entry level actrually drops down 20 feet or so at the back, resulting in my needing to jump out of the living room windown, up the back steps, unlock the back door and get into the kitchen on the other side.� I felt like some reject from the Alex Rider novels as I dropped the 20 feet or so and promptly felt my knee go under me, resulting in the sort of landing that a parachutist would be ashamed of! Ultimately we got the door open, although only with the help of a sledgehammer and a nasty mark on my left arm whetre the bloody back door refused to open at first! The kichen door now remains slightly open all the time!


Wednesday 13th September 2006
 "You think you're a genius you drive me up the wall. You're a regular original a know it all." (Song Lyric)

Which player did Sunderland pay Rangers �8m for in August 2002?
Battle Of Britain 4: Finally, after all the hype and build up, we finally had a so-called Battle of Britain to be proud of as Man United and Celtic served up a cracker. In truth, United were dominant for long periods and should have had a hat full, but right until the latter stages, you just felt that Celtic might snatch another equaliser. The penalty looked harsh even if I am a little biased and it seemed poetic justice that Giggs got himself injured winning it! Both of Celtic's goals were superb, yet they'd have been sunk without trace had their keeper not performed heroics, especially from that header from his own player late on. Thankfully tonight I decided to watch the right game and thoroughly enjoyable it was. One last thing, in the afternoon build up on Sky Sports News, more than once they refered to the game as the English champions against the Scottish champions. Erm, last time I looked, Chelsea were the English champions...

Score Update: One excellent addition to Sky's interactive coverage is the live goal alert when, by pressing the red button when the message appears, you can watch the latest goal to be scored in their eight featured games and it worked quickly as well! The one down side was that it seemed to screw up the interactive scores at the foot of the screen and either stopped them updating until you `hid` and then `showed` all groups or simply reset them all to `hide` apart from Group E. If they can overcome that bug, then they'll have made a superb coverage even better.

One Alfie Haaland: Sadly for me and Leeds, the Roy Keane honeymoon period continues to thrive at Sunderland. Last night's 3-0 home defeat has left us in the bottom three and it would seem that Kevin Blackwell, likeable though he is, could be not so much on thin ice, but more clambering through the cracks that have got increasingly bigger.


Thursday 14th September 2006
 Which actor has played characters named Dr Robert Langdon, Carl Hanratty and Chuck Noland?

From 1968 to 1973, English clubs won the UEFA/Fairs Cup. In 1974, an which English club reached the final only to lose to Feyenoord?
Three out of four ain't bad: Bit of a mixed bag for the Prem clubs in the UEFA Cup today and whilst Spurs and Newcastle will be thrilled to have won away, Blackburn would probably feel like they'd lost despite drawing away at Salzburg as sponsored by fizzy energy drink but a last minute equaliser against you has that effect. As for West Ham - the one game that I did watch - they are up against it after losing at home to Palermo. o say the Italians were physical would be a gross understatement but that aside, didn't they ever work hard, barely giving the Hammers an inch of space and restricting their chances to a bare minimum, although Marlon Harewood was desperately unlucky late on. It was almost a thrownback to the Italian sides of the 70s and 80s when they close you down, kick first and then ask questions later and unfortunately it was heavily effective. I fear that the Hamers European adventure is over before it's begun which is a shame consiodering the cracking attendance that they had.


Saturday 16th September 2006
 "In violent times you shouldn't have to sell your soul. In black and white they really really ought to know." (Song Lyric)

Which club was promoted from the old fourth division to the old first division in four seasons from 1978 to 1981?
Never Judge A Book... Two live games today and just one goal as Portsmouth won again and kept another clean sheet, at Charlton. I only saw about ten minutes of the match but by all accounts it wasn't earth-shatteringly exciting. Lua-Lua's goal was pretty good and you can but admire Pompey for the great start. In contrast, I saw all of the Watford v Villa game and really enjoyed it despite the goalless scoreline. Plenty of chances at either end and superb goalkeeping in abundance kept the match at 0-0 and only really in the last ten minutes did it become scrappy. Ok, Watford are a bit `long ball` to say the least but if it's effective for them, it's hard to knock it.

Quick Fire Reading: Away at Sheffield United who were promoted with them, was probably on Reading's list of winable games and so it turned out as they held off a second half revival to win 2-1, helped hugely by the quickest goal of the season so far when Kevin Doyle netted after just 18 seconds. I mentioned earlier in the week that they are turning into this season's Wigan and more and more it looks to be the case. The interesting time will come when they face the big names.


Sunday 17th September 2006
 Which comedian voiced Garfield in the recent film(s) of the same name?

Who scored the winner the last time that Arsenal beat Man United away in the league?
It has to be said that for all the build up, Grand Slam Sunday or whatever it was that Sky nicknamed today, came pretty close to living up to the hype. Okay, it wasn't earth-shatteringly exciting and certainly nothing has been proved as regards the title, but it was tense....and I missed almost all of it!!

Kicked In The Ballacks: I only caught the opening ten minutes of Chelsea's win against Liverpool, however I did see the highlights on Sky Sports Active. Two things of note. Firstly Drogba's goal was something special and the sort that usually ends up nearer the corner flag, high in the stands or of serious danger to passing motorists. Secondly, the red card to Michael Ballack seemed to be warranted, however speaking as someone who has him in my Dream Team, what a drip! I haven't really seen the incident properly but the ref did get the red card out extremely quickly, confusing poor Ian Darke (stick to boxing commentatory!) who thought that Sissoko had been sent off. Oh well, more points lose and more games where he won't earn any for me.

Over Confident? Nope, not Man United but two of their fans who came into the shop where I work today boasting that Arsenal would be out of the title race by 6pm tonight. How ya feeling now guys? Due to a prior arrangement with a charity Songs Of Praise performance at our local church (not the BBC Songs of Praise I should add),I only saw the first half which included the missed/slipped/saved penalty and an excellent save from Jens Lehmann as his head blocked Cristiano's Ronaldo's shot. From the brief second half highlights that I've seen, Arsenal deserved something from the game and got it through Cesc Fabregas - also in my Dream Team - and his lovely pass to Adebayor. Lehmann's save from Solsjkaer shortly afterwards was amazing though and deserved the praise. Arsenal's only three Prem wins at Old Trafford have all been 1-0 and have come in 1998, 2002 and 2006 and each time previous they've gone on to win the league. Spooky.


Tuesday 19th September 2006
 "This is from the Guinness Book of World Records, congratulating me on being the female FBI Agent who has shot and killed the most people." (Film Quote)

Which two players hold the record for the most league cup goals in their career?
At Last! :"Leeds 3" is not something that's been too common this season, however tonight's win over Barnet in the Carling Cup was greeted as much with relief as joy. Okay, some were perhaps preversely hoping for a defeat to speed up the departure of Kevin Blackwell, but to me a win is a win and when the goal updates were being flashed up at the bottom of the screen, I was up celebrating as if we'd scored a last minute winner against Barcelona in the CL Final. More than once I reminded myself that this was Barnet we're playing but who cares? This might just be the result to kick start us into action.

Lucky Prem Clubs: Whilst Reading and Watford are underdogs in the Premiership, in the Carling Cup at home to Darlington and Accrington Stanley, they would be expect to win, and whilst they both did, it was only after the lottery of penalties. Giving the fringe players a run out is all well and good, however you only get one crack at a Cup game and those two came desperately close to being back page headlines. Similarly, Everton in the live game at Peterborough also played a weaker team although as we were told, it still included six internationals. But they only really clinched the win after the arrival of Cahill and Arteta from the bench, so again, a little bit fortunate.

Bung Panorama: All the talk today is about the bung programme on the Beeb last night which apparently implicates Sam Allardyce quite heavily. Two things spring to mind. I wonder what the reaction would have been if he were England boss, which he could have been by now and secondly, how the hell did I manage to forget the programme was on and miss it?


Wednesday 20th September 2006
 Which 1984 film marked Johnny Depp's film debut and spawned a number of sequels and spin offs?

Xabi Alonso joined Liverpool from which club?
Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Enter LS11: Following our 3-1 over against mighty Barnet, Kevin Blackwell must have felt easier about going into work today, only to be sacked! It's the timing that I can't understand. A week or two ago, then fine, but after a win that could boost the confidence of the players and the club as a whole? It all seems odd. I had a soft spot for him I must admit, although he never came across as the sort of bloke that would get us winning things, but then who, since O'Leary, has? Speaking of DO'L, one bookie was offering odds of just 8-1 for him to return. I'd be happy if he did to be honest but I simply cannot see it happening. Alan Curbishley looks to be the favourite at the moment. We shall see...

Long Range Alonso: Lightening struck twice as Xabi Alonso scored from his own half against Newcastle, copying his goal against Luton in January, although this was struck with considerably more power. Fair play to the man. Many will state, correctly, that Steve Harper would have reached it had he not stumbled as he back peddled, however Alonso had the foresight to go for it so best of luck to him. There will be a few keepers not straying quite so far from their lines this weekend I'll bet.

Bye Bye Big Boy: Know any of the trivia answers? Mail Me Now and get an on-site name check!
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