Views From The Armchair - September 2004

"Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season September 2004

Wednesday 1st September 2004
"I walked across an empty land, I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet, sat by the river and it made me complete." (Song)
Somewhere Only We Know - Keane: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Outside of the top three, which Premiership club recorded the most away league wins last season (03-04)?

Rooney joins Man United! No real surprise in truth as the headlines roar across the front pages. Like I said last week, as soon as United were known to be in the running, it was effectively a one-horse race and once Sir Bobby was sacked on Monday, there was only one possible outcome. It's a hell of a risk to take for that sort of money, however the likes of Man United and Sir Alex Ferguson haven't got where they are now by NOT taking the odd risk and if it pays off, no-one will bat an eyelid as regards the �27m fee. Yes, he comes with a lot of additional baggage for someone so young, notably his inclination towards certain Liverpudlian ladies of the night, however if anyone can guide him in the right direction, it'll be Sir Alex and woe betide Rooney if he's on the front pages for the wrong reasons! The Rooney merchandising machine will doubtless stir into action and whilst he's not as marketable as Beckham, they'll certainly recoup a decent return of the transfer fee in shirts, key rings, hats and various other pieces of tat which we all buy! Of course, with United having splashed out around �40m on three players this pre-season, the expectation levels among the fans, which were high anyway, have now gone through the roof and if success isn't forthcoming, then the pressure on the club, Sir Alex and of course, Rooney, will heighten. No-one disputes his remarkable talent and ability, it will just have to be channelled into the right direction and, if it is, he could ultimately be an Old Trafford legend for the next decade. One final thing. Didn't the picture on the back of most papers today make Rooney look like a snotty-nose 11-year old on a tour around Old Trafford.

In the shop where I work, we have a sign on one of the eye-level fans which simply reads, "Do Not Put Your Head Near The Fan" As a customer said to me, it's pretty obvious surely. Well, yes it is, however tell that to the girl whose long hair almost got caught last year in a strange game of seemingly trying to eyeball the fan out! You see, in this day and age, you almost have to provide warnings for the most blatant things or risk being sued for not pointing out that putting your fingers on the scorching hot bar of the gas fire could result in you being voted `Freddie Krueger look-alike 2004`. So, are we really turning into some perverse `Nanny State` that we need to be told of every potential danger, however obvious? "Please do not cross the M5 motorway?" or "Jumping off of Clifton Suspension Bridge could result in a serious health risk!" A bit over the top maybe? Well, with that in mind, how about the chap who did a photocopy in the shop and forgot to take his original out of the machine. He came back the following morning when he realised HIS mistake and absolutely flipped his lid because it was no longer in the copier, even threatening to call the police and report US for theft! Ultimately, another person had used the copier in between and handed the original to us and we'd kept it under the counter for safe keeping. Now, we have a sign on top of the copier, reminding customers to take their originals!

Thursday 2nd September 2004
"The FBI says they can prove it through physics in a nuclear laboratory. Of course they can prove it. Theoretical physics can also prove that an elephant can hang off a cliff with its tail tied to a daisy! But use your eyes, your common sense." (Film)
JFK: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In the 1957-58 FA Cup competition, what did Stan Crowther do which had never been allowed before or since?
He played for two different clubs in the same season in the FA Cup. Firstly for Aston Villa and then, with special permission, for Man United after he signed after the Munich air crash: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

So, according to Newcastle chairman Sir Freddie Sheppard, `a host` of top names want the managers job at the club. That's all well and good as long as the right one is appointed, however if I were a fan of the club, I'd be seriously concerned that Terry Venables is one of those being touted as a front-runner, albeit via the media. Whilst he's a headline writers dream, "Tel At Toon!" (Ho, ho, ho!), his best managerial days ended when Gareth Southgate saw his penalty saved at Wembley and his future, if indeed he has one within the game, lies with being the cheeky cockney chappie for ITV's Champions League coverage. His time at Leeds, whilst not helped by the board admittedly, hardly inspires confidence as he simply started to ease the club down the slippery slope towards relegation and rarely, if ever, did any bright spots appear. As for an apparent collaberation with Alan Shearer, I can only assume that this is a knock on assumption from 1996 and whilst Shearer could well be a future boss at the club, let him be guided by someone who could at least take the club forward.

I'm sure this has happened to many people, however whilst walking along the pavement today minding my own business and with my mind miles away, a chap aged around 20 walked by and simply said, "Good morning." I replied more out of common courtesy than anything else, however I've no idea if I actually knew him or not. Was he an occasional customer in the shop, or a friend of a cousin who I once met whilst in Tesco? Maybe he was just being friendly and polite and says it to anyone who looks similar in return! This, however was nothing compared to a month ago when my daughter and I parked the car outside out house at around 9:45pm having returned from watching our local side play. With only a streetlight for illumination, a young teenage girl was walking by and said, "Hiya Gary!" and continued walking on. "Who was that?" asked my daughter and although I originally assumed it was a current or former papergirl at the shop, to this day I can honestly say that I didn't (and still don't) recognise who it was. It's not a matter of putting a name to the face - I didn't even know the face in the first place!! I reckon there's a conspiracy going on along the lines of the Truman Show!!

Friday 3rd September 2004
"As I reflect on all my childhood dreams. My ideas of love weren't as foolish as they seemed." (Song)
A Good Heart - Fergal Sharkey : Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which former England international won eight Championship medals in three different countries in the 80s and 90s?
Trevor Steven (Everton 85, 87), Rangers (90, 91, 93, 94, 95) and Marseille (92): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

I know, I've not mentioned the World Cup qualifiers all week, largely due to the fact that there's been little to say. I mean, England are playing in Austria (and Poland) and the new Wembley Arch was lit up for the first time this week! Today though comes the somewhat shocking news that Steven Gerrard might not be fit for the game in Vienna tomorrow! Now, this causes a few ripples of concern within the England camp, because not only is the Liverpool man a vital member of the midfield, but Paul Scholes has retired and Nicky Butt is injured, leaving a massive gap at the heart of the team. So, why not be radical and put the likes of David Beckham in there and give Joe Cole or Shaun Wright-Phillips a go? You only need to look at how Ledley King performed against France in the summer to see how a desperate situation can be turned around, so take a risk and go for it. Yes, Gerrard will be missed, but better to have players that are 100% fit rather than risk someone who isn't.

Depending on your family situation, you may have noticed that the children are back to school after the long summer hols, although a walk around any town or city centre should tell you this due to the distinct lack of bored (and sometimes spaced-out) looking teenagers hanging around in increasingly large groups in the way of everyone else. So, what happens the minute that the schools re-open their gates? Yep, the sun comes out and we have a mini-heatwave! Apparently, in deepest, darkest Somerset today, it'll top the low 70s, although it'll be higher around London and the South-East, leaving us parents wondering why we had to have waterfall style rain frequently over the last five weeks and now get an Indian Summer when we can't enjoy it properly!

Saturday 4th September 2004
"Look, I really don't think they flew 90 billion light years to come down here and start a fight." (Film)
Independence Day: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which player was a non-playing sub for Man United's 1968 European Cup Final winning team and also started the 1982 Final as an Aston Villa player?
Jimmy Rimmer: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It's typical isn't it? Half an hour away from one of the best results of the recent past and the lights go out! Yep, Scotland away to Spain looked, on paper, a recipe for a cricket score for the home side, however Scotland had the nerve to take the lead and even hold in until the 57th minute and only then were pegged back by a penalty. Sod and his law then stepped in and gave Spain it's first footballing power-cut in living memory, whilst ultimately cost the Scots what would have been a great result, although as someone else mentioned, it may even have saved Scotland from the anticipated thrashing! I know, it's only a friendly, but it would have been nice to have been able to see the game out. That said, plenty of plus points to grasp onto ahead of Wednesday's WC opener.

Mixed results for the home nations around Europe today, although whilst many of the English would normally be half-supporting Wales and Northern Ireland, it's a bit of a conflict of interests with both being in the same group as Eriksson's men. Neither managed a win today with the Irish continuing their recent form with a heavy 3-0 defeat at home to Poland (who England travel to on Wednesday) and Wales only drawing in Azerbaijan. This result surprised me as I was expecting the Welsh to push England close in their group and although I only saw the last twenty minutes or so, there never looked to be any real urgency to push forward looking for a winning goal and only late on when sub Rob Earnshaw had a brilliant header pushed onto the post, did they look like getting one. Certainly two points lost for Wales, a result they could yet come to rue in thirteen months time.

This afternoon also saw the Republic of Ireland at home and they had few problems as they swept Cyprus aside 3-0. It was always confortable, especially after Clinton Morrison netted the opener, and is a terrific start to the qualifiers for the Irish - and all without the influence of Roy Keane as well. The Irish have never really risen to the heights of the Jack Charlton era of the late 80s and early 90s, despite a couple of near things, however with this possibly being Keane's last chance of a big tournament (although he blew it himself in WC2002 to be truthful!), you get the impression that they might just make an impact and make it through to Germany 2006. I certainly hope so.

Sunday 5th September 2004
"How the hell did we wind up like this? Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed and try to turn the tables." (Song)
Someday - Nickelback: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

England have only ever lost once to Poland during the qualifiers for which World Cup tournament?
1974: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

At around 8:45pm last night when Steven Gerrard put England 2-0 up in Austria with a fine goal, I would have put money on them adding at least one more to the tally in the final 25 minutes. I would have lost! For England to blow a two goal lead with nineteen minutes left is almost criminal at this level, however as one of our paperboys put it today, "They just got complacent - again!". Whilst that may well be a bit simplistic, it's as good a way of describing it as I could find. All the talk is over David James and his howler for the equalising goal, however just 10-15 minutes earlier, he'd almost made an identical error with only his heels stopping the ball from going in. Why not give Paul Robinson a chance now? Put him in for the Poland game on Wednesday and give the guy a run out. It may not be the easiest of games, but James is continually making schoolboy type errors which will eventually cost England. Overall, if Wales felt that they had lost two points in Azerbaijan, then England certain did in Austria.

Aside from the result and dramatic comeback, the first half threw up two interesting incidents. The first came in the build up to England's opener as an Austrian defender stopped playing having heard a whistle from the crowd and his tapped pass to his left was leapt upon by his keeper. Now, I can fully understand why the ref blew up for a backpass, even though it wasn't deliberate, yet few would have complained for too long had it NOT been given. On this occasion, England were lucky. Another ref on another night would have waved play on. However, this was levelled out later in the half when Austrian keeper and former Arsenal stopper, Alex Manninger handled outside of his area, only for play to continue. Quite simply, this was a mistake from the referee and his assistant, both of whom were behind play due to the speed of the break. Even Manninger himself admitted that he was lucky. Perhaps the biggest error of the night though came from the England backroom staff who misheard things when Gerrard went over to tell them that Wayne Bridge was injured and should come off. Instead, they substituted Gerrard, thinking that he was crocked!! Bridge followed minutes later!!

Monday 6th September 2004
"The things, you say, your purple prose just gives you away. The things, you say." (Song)
Unbelievable - EMF: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Graeme Souness had his first professional playing contract with which London club?
Spurs: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

So, the new Newcastle boss is Graeme Souness, which is sort of ironic as his current Blackburn side face his new club at the weekend. Now, whilst I can see that Souness should see this as a step up (with all due respect to Rovers naturally), I can't help feeling that it's perhaps not the best appointment for Newcastle. On the plus side, he'll bring the potential trouble makers and prima donnas into line and hopefully restore some respect for managers, coaches and fellow players, however on a playing side of things, he's hardly set the Prem alight at Southampton and Blackburn (league cup aside of course!) and his style of play can hardly be seen as exciting. However, that said, he's does have a better squad to tinker with on paper and might just surprise me. I wonder what odds on Alan Shearer taking some kind of `behind the scenes` role over the next twelve months though?

On the subject of managerial changes, why the sudden pressure on Sven Goran Eriksson I wonder? Admittedly, England should have won the game on Saturday and ultimately it was an individual error which cost them, however certain sections seem to be calling for his head which is a little unfair in truth and I think he's right to insist that he'll remain in charge at least until the end of the 2006 qualifiers. Have we really reached the stage when a manager's position is under threat after either one poor result or one poor performance? Surely not and maybe it would do the FA's publicity machine the power of good to publicly back him ahead of the Poland game. Of course, not everyone thinks this way and you only have to look at Paul Sturrock and Sir Bobby Robson to see what can happen.

Tuesday 7th September 2004
"Since I am innocent of this crime, I find it decidedly inconvenient that the gun was never found." (Film)
The Shawshank Redemption: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In 1979, Trevor Francis became the first �1m signing, however, later that same year, who moved from Villa to Wolves for a new record of �1,469,000?
Andy Gray : Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

With England's game in Poland less than 48 hours away, it would seem that the major injury concern is to a certain David Beckham. Apparently, the captain collected a knock to the ribs during the Austria game and may not make it for Poland. I would refer the right honourable readers to my comments of September 3rd regarding Steven Gerrard which, to sum up, stated that if a player isn't 100% fit, then he shouldn't be in the starting XI. It makes little difference whether it's Beckham or a fringe player, no full fitness, no starting place. By his own admission, he wasn't properly fit, physically or mentally, during Euro 2004 and especially considering the Austria result, now is no time to take chances with players who are only at 80%. Tomorrow's game is not at home to San Marino or the Faroes, it's away in Eastern Europe and will not be easy, so Beckham needs to be honest with himself and England if he's not fully fit and ready.

The oxygen machine which my wife uses has been playing up for the last couple of nights, cutting out at 2:45am on Monday morning and then again just over an hour or so later after I'd sat there at 3am changing a fuse (just in case!). So, yesterday afternoon she decided that it might be an idea to switch it on and see if it was a one-off glitch or whether there was a more serious, long term problem that needed to be sorted. Courtesy of the extra-long extension that connects to the machine, she is able to wander around the house wearing the nasel tags or mask whilst taking in oxygen, however having heard a strange noise, I turned around to see her getting rid of some of our small rubbish...by burning it in our open fire! Having rapidly reminder her that oxygen and naked flames can be a rather explosive combination, she stepped back and return to the next room where the machine is, stating that she never gave it a thought, even though she's usually extremely careful that the actual machine is never in the same room as any heat. The most frightening thing was that I was literally just getting my coat on to get our daughter from school. Had I been two minutes earlier in leaving or my wife two minutes later in burning the rubbish....!!!

Wednesday 8th September 2004
"One shaft of light that shows the way. No mortal man can win this day." (Song)
A Kind Of Magic - Queen: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

At which ground did Gary Lineker make his debut and play his last game for Everton?
Wembley: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

When I was growing up in the late 70s and even into the early 80s, live televised football was much more of a novelty than today's blanket coverage is. Nowadays, two or three games a day at weekends is the norm, back then, that was the general tally for a SEASON! Yep, we could guarantee live coverage of the FA Cup Final, the home international finale between England and Scotland and usually the European Cup Final (that's the Champions League now kids!) due to an English team usually being in the final. Unlike today, England games were rarely, if ever, shown live, with highlights on at a time far too late for most kids to see and this of course was before the era of videos as well. What a difference these days as tonight, Sky have FOUR games simultaneously, covering all five `home` nations (poetic licence as regards the Republic of Ireland)! Times certainly change don't they?

Watching the recent horrors in the school at Beslan unfold last week not only brought home just how cruel and horrific the human race can be, but also how accessible the news - good and bad - is in this day and age. I suppose September 11th was the epitome of live news reporting, however with each TV channel looking to provide bigger and better coverage, it does get to the stage when simply watching the bad news becomes hard. I found this last week when the Beslan horror was ongoing, especially as the death rate seemed to rise dramatically by the hour, however with the release of film yesterday showing the terrorists ` at work` inside the school, it simply hammered home an already terrible situation. When one voiceover stated that `everyone in this classroom died`, that did it for me and I could watch no more. Indeed you can only imagine how awful this must be for the relatives. Today's papers are similar with their reporting and this is equally hard to read. I'm not complaining as I can understand the reasons why the media go into such detail, however there are certain circumstances when the basic headlines are hard enough to cope with, let only all the details behind it.

Thursday 9th September 2004
"You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really." (Film)
This Is Spinal Tap: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which two clubs contested the highest scoring Champions League draw, a 4-4 clash in 2000-1?
Hamburg & Juventus : Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Well, that was some night of international football! Lets start with England...

So, Sven keeps his job for another month after what can only be called a comfortable win in a potentially tricky game. With four games on simultaneously, I kept with the England game for the most part, occasionally switching over to the others and to Teletext for score updates, however from what I saw, England were rarely in any trouble against Poland and thoroughly deserved their win. Eriksson bowed to public pressure and dropped David James and replacement Paul Robinson looked at ease and had little chance with the goal conceded. Of course, on the down side, the England players snubbed the post match press conference as a protest, presumably to the media's treatment of David James. How bloody childish! Are the players going to chuck their toys out of their prams every time a player gets criticised? Press conferences are their way of linking to the public via the media. Failure to do this is effectively snubbing the very fans who've put their where they are today.Doubtless it'll be different when certain players crave the publicity machine again....

Three red cards and three goals - and that was only the opening 32 minutes in Cardiff where Wales eventually came from 2-0 down to draw with Northern Ireland. Having seen the highlights, yes Michael Hughes had to go for his tackle and push on Robbie Savage and although the Welshman felt hard done by with his dismissal, Savage also had to go for his part in the retaliation, albeit little more than grabbing shirts and shorts. It was a matter of book them both or dismiss them both. But what do we make of David Healy who, having scored to make it 2-0, kicked the corner flag and then made a gesture to the crowd (He said to his family, the officials felt that it was inciting the home fans!) and off he went! Perhaps the ref was being a little heavy handed, however Healy was a tad foolish to do what he did, however innocent it was. I still maintain though that the officials should take into account the sheer joy of scoring a goal and the delight that follows, especially in circumstances like this. I mean, I only scored once (at the right end!!) for the school team (a 20-yard screamer mind you!!) and went ballistic in front of a crowd that barely reached double figures, so we can only imagine the excitement of netting in such a huge game as Healy did. A bit unlucky methinks.

Finally, a creditable draw for the Republic in Switzerland whilst my Scots did well in the first half against Slovenia and then slackened after the break, so a goalless draw probably about right. That said, it doesn't install confidence as regards qualifying as Norway and Italy, as well as the Slovenians, will prove very tough. Mind you, we've struggled against the Faroes in the past, so perhaps the ambition of reaching WC2006 is a pipe dream anyway.

Friday 10th September 2004
"And the world is spinning, and she keeps on winning. But tell me what happens when it stops?" (Song)
Lucky - Britney Spears: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

From which club did Leicester buy Robbie Savage in 1996?
Crewe: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Following his red card for Wales against Ireland on Wednesday, Robbie Savage says that he is considering quitting international football. I reckon that he needs to step back and re-evaluate the situation. Naturally he feels hard done by over the incident, believing that he was an innocent victim, however even though a three-match international ban looks to be on the cards, quitting the Welsh squad permanently will do nothing as he'll be cutting off his nose to spite his face. He's said his piece and now surely the best reaction would be to accept his fate and bounce back after the suspension and help Wales reach the World Cup Finals.

Whilst delivering some papers to a local dental surgery, I glanced at the list of engraved names on the metal plaque by the side of the door and was surprised to see one of the dentists was called CATKINS. Clearly a somewhat unusual name, I wondered if it was perhaps a foreign dentist who had recently joined the surgery and then if it were some kind of sponsorship deal with a cat food manafacturer, although for the life of me I couldn't figure out any connection between feline food and dentists! Only when I got closer did I spot my foolish mistake...and the full stop! My apologies therefore to the dentist known as C.ATKINS!!

Saturday 11th September 2004
"I'll climb the mountain, reaching for the skies. And all too soon I jump the moon and find I'm losing my mind " (Song)

Which Italian has scored in the Premiership for FIVE different clubs?
Benito Carbone (Sheff Wed, Villa, Derby, Bradford, Middlesbrough): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Did you hear it? That yell of delight, not to mention the leap up into the air of the living room, sending the half asleep dog into fits and subsequently rocketing upstairs? Yes, that was me at around 4:30pm this afternoon when the Sky vidiprinter announced that Leeds had gone 2-0 up against Coventry! Admittedly, I did `celebrate` when we scored the first, however a second goal is always a relief, although where Leeds are concerned even that, with twenty minutes to go and against ten men, is still not a forgone conclusion. A stoppage time third followed as we finally found some form, and boy did we need that! Our first league win since the opening day of the season should install some confidence in the players, although I do fear the worst for a midweek trip to Plymouth, which just indicates how far the expectation level has fallen within the last year or so!

There were a few games in the Prem today, away from the excitement of Leeds winning a game, including Man United playing yet another `get out of the sh*t` card in stoppage time. For the second away game on the bounce, Alan Smith netted a late equaliser, this time at Bolton after Les Ferdinand had put the home side 2-1 up with a slightly earlier stoppage time goal! That still leaves just one win for United in their opening five games and they are a full nine points adrift of Arsenal, who thumped Fulham 3-0. Fulham were apparently left fuming at two first half decisions which went against them, an award of a penalty which was then reversed and a goal disallowed. I'll bet we've not heard the last of that! But back to Man Utd, who can continue to harp on about the return of Rio and Van Nistelrooy, not to mention Rooney, but at the current rate, Arsenal will be out of sight before they know it and look at the goal difference as well! Arsenal +14, United 0. Yes, it's early days, but United fans have every right to be concerned. Incidentally, that Ferdinand goal for Bolton means that he's the first player to score in the Prem for SIX different clubs! Hence today's question...!

Elsewhere, spare a thought for two players. Firstly, Everton's Tim Cahill who scored his first ever goal for his new club and was promptly sent off for the terrible crime of lifting his shirt above his head. Yes, I know it's the rules and that he'd been booked before, but as I said TWO DAYS AGO, surely the excitement of the moment needs to be taken into consideration. Judging by my reaction when I heard about Julian Joachim scoring for Leeds (did I mention that Leeds won 3-0 today??), then I would have been banned for the season, especially from Biscuit, the dog asleep on the mat! Finally, a moment for Tony Popovic of Crystal Palace who scored an own goal in his last game for the club two weeks ago and to prove it was no fluke, did it again at Portsmouth today! It was a freak of a goal as well, backheeling it over his own shoulder and in off the far post! Maybe a hat trick next week...

Sunday 12th September 2004
"I didn't hear you leave. I wonder how am I still here and I don't want to move a thing, it might change my memory." (Song)
Here With Me - Dido: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Against which club did Robbie Keane score a hat trick last season (03-04)?
Wolves: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

For all the plaudits aimed at Spurs this season, much of which has been justified considering the number of players in (14) and out (12) of the club during the summer, not to mention managerial and coaching changes, their failings were very much in evidence today in the goalless draw at home to Norwich - scoring goals! Last season, for a while, they were the new `they score three, we score four` club, however whilst defensively they have tightened up now, up front, they remain far too reliant on Jermain Defoe, who has scored three of their four goals so far this season. Okay, this could change with the return of Robbie Keane after his injury and if it does, then fair play to the new regime for effectively getting a new bunch of players together and forming a decent side in very little time. If however it doesn't and the goals still trickle rather than flow, then more mid-table mediocrity could be on the cards at the end of the campaign. Overall though, lets give some credit to the two keepers, Paul Robinson and Robert Green, both of whom made excellent saves. With David James seemingly out of the reckoning, these two could be the top two for a good few years.

I caught part of the earlier Ipswich-Millwall game from the first div...sorry, Championship and, like most others at the game and watching on the box, felt that the highlight wasn't the two late goals that gave Ipswich all three points and top spot, but the incident in the first half which saw the assistant referee pushed over by Millwall striker Mark McCammon. He was in the process of chasing his own pass right on the flank, however he was running slightly off the pitch when the assistant ref obviously got in his way. McCammon showed all the subtlely of a sledgehammer when he realised that the official was far slower than he was and gave him a blatant shove in the back, resulting in him stumbling forward and ultimately flat on his face! The best part was watching him get up with a furious look on him, but not actually knowing exactly what had happened as he'd been running with his back to the Millwall lad!! Great stuff and one to relish the next time your team suffer from a dodgy offside call.

Monday 13th September 2004
"All the playing's stopped in the playground now. She wants to play with her toys a while." (Song)
I Don't Like Monday's - Boomtown Rats: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Goalkeeper Jimmy Glass once scored a famous goal to keep Carlisle in the league and relegate Scarborough. But who did Carlisle beat in that final game of the 98-99 season?

As there has been no manager sacked so far today which makes a change for a Monday, it's time to mention that other old favourite, the referee! It's been a tough weekend for the good old men in green/yellow/black (delete as applicable) what with the Tim Cahill incident and the penalties not given at Fulham, not to mention the disallowed goal in the same game. So, credit where it's due to Rob Styles who was in charge of the Villa-Chelsea game on Saturday and got blasted for booking Didier Drogba for diving when it looked as though a penalty should have been awarded. Mr Styles has looked at the incident again on TV and whilst he obviously can't turn back the clock and give Chelsea a spot kick, he has held his hands up and admitted that he got it wrong. He's also rescinded the yellow card shown to the striker. Now, if a few more officials actually did this and came out into the open and said, `Okay, I did make a mistake.` then the overall relationship between players and refs would surely improve. It would improve even more if they were allowed to use their own judgement, but that's a pipe dream!

As a general rule of thumb, I try and avoid driving near or into busy city centre's at rush hour, either in the morning or afternoon. Today however, we had to be in Bristol, which is around an hour away, by 9am so I decided to leave at 7am to give us plenty of time to battle through traffic and then find somewhere to park at a hospital with around 12 parking places within easy walking distance! I've therefore come to the conclusion that `rush hour` is an inappropriate phrase and should be called `rush hour and a half` at the very least. It only took 40 minutes to get to the outskirts of the city, however it was then a further 45 minutes to get from Brislington into the centre, which is around five miles! Roundabouts were jammed solid, cars were ignoring bus lanes and using them anyway and on one occasion, we were overtaken going UPHILL by a cyclist. Personally I was glad to get there - and actually park in one of the aforementioned dozen places - and have the utmost sympathy for those who drive into busy cities each and every day. However, so many of the cars we saw had only the driver in them and no passengers! There's a lot to be said for car-sharing with that in mind.

Tuesday 14th September 2004
"Your love isn't fair, you live in a world where you didn't listen. And you didn't care, so I'm floating, floating on air." (Song)
Sick and Tired - Anatascia: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which England international of the 70s was best known for his `windmill` goal celebration?

Maybe it was a legecy of a long day or the fact that I'd decided to watch it whilst led on the settee, however to be polite, last night's Charlton v Southampton game was a bit of a dog and I admit that I dropped off for a few minutes whilst watching it! It wasn't so much that it was a goalless draw, but more a matter of a distinct lack of decent chances. The Spurs-Norwich game was goalless on Sunday, but at least both keepers played superbly to keep their attacking counterparts at bay, however there was little of that at the Valley as defences remained on top, resulting, somewhat ironically, in both clubs moving up a place in the table. It was summed up well at half time when the only chance Sky could show on the highlights was an opportunity for James Beattie which actually bounced behind him and hit his arm. Okay, the second was a little better and while I appreciate that not every game can be a seven-goal thriller, this was certainly one to avoid. The tactical, defensive pureists probably loved it!

I'm sure most of us have bought some kind of footballing memorabillia regarding our own clubs in the past, whether it's been a �40+ replica shirt or a 99p car air freshener, however you would think that just about every tacky idea possible has been thought of to try and prise money from fans. Nope! Just when you thought it was safe to go into the club shop, we now learn that Alan Shearer's trademark `hand in the air` goal celebration has been made just that - a trademark! Apparently, that image will be used as a logo for various things, including clothing. Now, this opens up a massive possible market for the money men with endless uses. Robert Earnshaw has a very distinctive celebration and I'm sure many others have similar, however what about a logo for Cristiano Ronaldo with him throwing himself to the ground or for Tim Cahill with a shirt pulled over his head! I'll bet someone, somewhere, is already dreaming up many more of this ilk.

Wednesday 15th September 2004
"Yeah, a landlord's dream. A paralyzed tenant with no tongue." - "Who pays the rent on time!" (Film)
Se7en: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In 1984, which Scottish side recorded a 20-0 win over Selkirk in the first round of the Scottish Cup?

The Champions League is up and running again, which of course means the choice of eight games, all live and all available. Apart from occasional glances at Sky's multi-screen page, mainly for latest scores, I stuck with the Arsenal game on ITV and saw the Gunners dominate for 70 minutes and ultimately live on their nerves for the final twenty minutes as PSV very nearly equalised the own goal which gave Arsenal all three points just before half time. This was not the vintage, free-flowing Arsenal which we've seen so often domestically, but more a side battling to break down an organised defence and eventually succeeding. Ultimately, a win is a win in the CL, whether it's 1-0 or 6-0 and Arsenal will be happy to be off to a better start than last season when they registered just one point from their first three games.

No such last minute concerns for Chelsea who sailed to a 3-0 win in France against Paris St Germain. The advantage that they have is that they possess a manager who knows what it's like to win the CL with a squad of players not expected to do such. I'm not saying that Chelsea will go all the way, but they're certainly off to a flyer.

Due to a late kick off, I caught the final 25 minutes of Celtic's home game with Barcelona and although I missed Barca's missed penalty (a brilliant save from David Marshall) and Celtic's equaliser, I did see the Spaniards grab the win at the end with two late goals - a deflected shot from Giuly and, almost inevitably, a tap in for former Bhoys striker Henrik Larsson who left the club in the summer. Good to see that he didn't milk the occasion, especially as it has left Celtic with a mountain to climb already.

Of course, Arsenal weren't the only club to win thanks to an own goal just before half time as the mighty Leeds won on the road for the first time this season, registering a 1-0 win at impressive Plymouth! I can't recall when we last won two on the bounce, however it's a very welcome and, if I were to be honest, a somewhat surprising three points and it made a long midweek journey somewhat more bearable for the players, officials and fans who made the trek to South Devon. Next up is Crewe away. Maybe this is the start of a turning curve for Leeds - I hope so!

Thursday 16th September 2004
"You leave in the morning with everything you own in a little black case. Alone on a platform, the wind and the rain on a sad and lonely face." (Song)
Smalltown Boy - Bronski Beat: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Against which club did Ruud Van Nistelroy score his first European goal for Man United?

It was only a matter of time before it happened and last night, it did. A referee was injured by a coin thrown from the crowd, causing the game to be called off as Anders Frisk was left with a blooded head wound after a Roma `fan` caught him with a coin after he'd sent off one of the players. With Roma already 1-0 down at home, it was obviously too much for this `fan` to take and although the reason for the abandonment was crazy (the fourth official deemed, by Frisk, `not experienced enough` to take over), it was almost inevitable that this would occur sooner or later. We've seen scenes of near-rioting before in Italy and in certain Turkish stadia, the opposing players need a shielded guard to get onto the pitch, making the decision to give Turkey the CL final this season an absolute joke, however until now, the proverbial slap-on-the-wrist handed out by UEFA have been laughable, so surely now it's time to take a proper stand. That said, they'll probably get a hefty fine, a ban from playing their next game at home and the game will be replayed (just what the fan wanted I expect!). Personally, I'd go for the hefty fine, ban them from playing any European games at home for the rest of the season and allow the result to stand. But then I'm biased!

I plumped for watching Liverpool's home game with Monaco last night rather than Man United at Lyon and, for the most part, was pretty impressed with the new regime at Anfield. Overall, they looked good going forward and rarely seemed in any major danger after taking the lead. They did suffer the Arsenal syndrome from Tuesday of not being able to grab a second goal and until it finally arrived via Milan Baros late on, there was always that nagging doubt, however fair play to Liverpool who are off to a terrific start and might just surprise a few clubs in Europe this season.

Last season, I took a chance and put an untried goalkeeper into my Fantasy Football. Thankfully, Tim Howard came good in his first Prem season and impressed many with his shot-stopping and ability. I didn't select him this season which looks to be a decent decision after his error on Saturday was followed by another last night as he fumbled a straight-forward shot to allow Lyon to take the lead. This was doubled before the break and it was only down to a record breaking brace from Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Now United's record scorer in Europe) to earn a point. Ultimately, under the circumstances, they'll probably be happy with that, however they still look dodgy at the back and although Rio's return will solidify matters in the centre, he can't be everywhere and that area will continue to be their Achilles Heel.

Friday 17th September 2004
"Don't be afraid to be weak. Don't be too proud to be strong. Just look into your heart my friend. That will be the return to yourself." (Song)
Return To Innocence - Enigma: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In 1965-66, which player scored a remarkable 21 goals in competitive cup competitions for club and country?

With two games on simultaneously again last night, apart from a slightly staggered kick off time, it was a decision between watching Graeme Souness' first game in charge at Newcastle or Middlesbrough's European debut. I plumped for the latter and at half time it looked as through I'd made the wrong choice with my game goalless and Newcastle two up. When both clubs at St James Park had a player sent off, I was tempted to switch over, however Boro then took total control against Banik Ostrava, moving into overdrive and walloped Banik 3-0, although in truth, they could have had double that figure. Ex-Leeds duo of Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink and Mark Viduka did the damage again and, mark my words, these two are likely to be a very good partnership for Boro this season, as long as they remain fit. Ultimately, both North-East clubs have surely done enough to reach the new UEFA Cup group stage, unlike Millwall whose European adventure could be over before it's had chance to begin. A 1-1 draw at home to Ferencvaros was admirable enough, but probably won't be adequate to see them through. But then, this is football after all...

A few years ago, we bought a pair of kittens, primarily as pets, but also in the hope that they could help ease a minor rodent problem around the area. They are brothers and were purchased from a farmhouse at a village nearby and, to be fair, their hunting upbringing certainly did help as we had occasional gifts left for us by the back door in the shape of headless mice and rats. However, they've progressed onto other things and now anything that's small enough to fit through the cat flap could be waiting for us when we get up, including pigeons, smaller birds, fish and a bat! Yesterday, they outdid themselves when a squirrel was waiting for us on the doormat!! At this rate, it won't matter if fox hunting is banned as our felines will shortly be moving on to them anyway!!

Saturday 18th September 2004
"Sleep baby sleep, now that the night is over. And the sun comes like a god into our room." (Song)
New Sensation - INXS: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

It's only happened twice since the Premiership began, yet in pre-Prem days on 29th October 1983, Tony Woodcock and Ian Rush did it on the same day. Did what?
Scored five goals in a top flight game: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

So, Arsenal are only human after all and following their midweek CL exploits when they came dangerously close to conceding a late equaliser, Bolton showed PSV just how to do it with TWO equalisers at Highbury in the early game. Indeed, Arsenal may be happy to keep their unbeaten record going as their opponents showed little sign of easing up in the last five minutes after getting back to 2-2 and could have even grabbed a winner. It's a massive credit to the club, Bolton I mean, that Sam Allardyce can produce a team who can hold Arsenal and Man United and beat Liverpool and you wonder if they just showed the same desire and consistancy against the lower lights, then a European spot is not beyond them this season.

For a while, it was the calm after the storm this afternoon as no 3pm Prem kick off game had a single first half goal. Yes, there was a missed penalty at the Hawthorns, however goals were at a premium with the first one not going in until around 4:12pm - and then all hell was let loose!! Nik Anelka scored twice in ten minutes for Man City, giving Kevin Keegan a stay of execution, whilst forgotten man Matt Jansen gave new Blackburn boss Mark Hughes a winning start. All the fun came in the Midlands though as Birmingham drew at home to Charlton and also had Damien Johnson sent off, a fact missed by Alan Smith who was at the game for Sky, although he did admit his mistake later in the game. That was nothing though compared to the fun and games at West Brom where the home side had a man sent off but still ended numerically better than Fulham who had two men dismissed, one of which was Andy Cole for throwing a punch in a free-for-all sparked by the dismissal of Baggies defender Neil Clement! If there is any justice at all, this will be Sky's game of the day in their pre-Match of the Day programme this evening!

Of course we have to mention Leeds who have now gone three games unbeaten after we `did a Bolton` and twice came from behind to draw 2-2 at Crewe. Both Leeds goals came from Danny Pugh, who is rapidly turning into one of the buys of the season and a silver lining from the cloud that saw the sale of Alan Smith (the blonde, Yorkshire born lad, not the Sky Sports one!) to Man United. Joking aside, it's pleasing to see the players battling away and pulling goals back, especially as Crewe went 2-1 up with only seven minutes remaining. Maybe we're finally getting some team spirit that was sadly lacking among the overpaid brigade from last season. Maybe we're finally seeing some pride instead of simply turning up. Maybe they'll bring us all back to reality in midweek and lose to Swindon!

Finally, spare a thought for David Harvey. No, not the former Leeds goalkeeper of the 1970s, but the East Stiring version who played in their 5-0 home defeat against Queens Park today. Not only did he play, but he also scored - twice! Yep, two own goals, one in each half!!

Sunday 19th September 2004
"I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman, all I wanna do is..." (Song)
Bicycle Race - Queen: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

As regards discipline, what happened last season (03-04) to Scott Parker, Alex Rae and El-Hadji Diouf, but to no other Prem players?

Due to an afternoon (and early evening as it turns out!), I missed all the afternoon's football which in truth I expected to, however there's still a couple of things worthy of a mention. The most notably thing when you look at the table (apart from Man United in the bottom half) is that Everton have reached the dizzy heights of third! Their win against Middlesbrough, themselves suffering a European hangover, has shot them up to their lofty position and it's worth remembering that it's all been done without the assistance of a certain Mr Rooney, so all credit to the players and boss David Moyes for not letting his departure affect them unduly. Credit also to Spurs who still cannot break their 14 year Chelsea hoodoo, however a goalless draw at Stamford Bridge has gone some way to pacifing the fans, although in truth, few of the Spurs players were probably even aware of the jinx such has been the influx of new players at the club in recent months. And finally, onto Newcastle and the first game in charge for Graeme Souness, ironically at the club he left in 1997, Southampton. Newcastle's 2-1 win gives them a little breathing space and puts them nicely in mid-table, although former boss Sir Bobby Robson is probably wondering why it didnt happen during his time in charge this season. Sadly, I can't comment on the performance, because...

...Sky Sports in the infinite wisdom, decided NOT to screen the back-to-back games (Saints-Toon and Chelsea-Spurs) on the same channel this afternoon, so for those of us out all day and without Sky Plus (and will remain without it whilst it stays at such a steep price!), I had to choose one or the other to tape, and then hopefully watch when I got home after skillfully avoiding the scores. The latter I managed perfectly until I dropped our god-daughter and her sister home...just in time to catch the sports headlines on the news, including the results! To be honest, it was bitter-sweet as the game I'd decided to video was the goalless London derby anywa, so I guess it meant that I didn't have to sit through it! However, had the Ryder Cup not been on and the football switched to SS2, then I could have taped both.

Monday 20th September 2004
"I'm an honorary Sean Connery, born '74, there's only one of me. Single-handedly raising the economy. Ain't no chance of the record company dropping me." (Song)
Kids - Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Who is the oldest player to appear in a Premiership game?
John Burridge (for Man C v QPR 14th May 1995 aged 43 years and 5 months): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Oh what fun tonight's game should be with the return of Rio Ferdinand to Man United's first team. Assuming he remembers to turn up, he'll face Liverpool for his first game since being banned for forgetting to take a drugs test and if nothing else, it'll stop giving some MU fans the excuse for their crummy defending this season. He'll certainly solidify them up at the back, there's no doubt about that but one man doesn't make a team and you cannot legislate for the sort of individual errors made by the likes of Silvestre and Tim Howard this season. It should be a sparkling atmosphere at Old Trafford for the game and I daresay that Rio will be treated with the same hero worship support that greated Eric Cantona after his return from his ban in 1995, also against Liverpool and live on Sky coincidentally! Fact is often stranger than fiction and it wouldn't surprise me for Rio to snatch the headlines for something more than just playing. The winning goal maybe, or a late tackle on Stephen Gerrard which sparks a 20-man brawl! We'll see...

Okay, I admit it. Despite being a self-confessed goal hater, I have been watching bits of the Ryder Cup this weekend, although only half an hour here and an hour there rather than blanket golf watching. It took me most of the weekend to get the hang of the scoring system, especially as I thought it was the original `number of shots overall` that counted rather than `number of holes won` scenario, however once I'd got my head around that, I was (say it quietly!) hooked! I found myself cheering when Tiger Woods missed a couple of easy putts on Saturday and then jumping up when Westwood and Colin Montgomerie (a Leeds fan I believe!) sank their vital putts. Maybe it's a throw back to four (?) years ago when the America team and their wives over-celebrated on the fairway after the Europeans missed a putt which didn't even decide the game, but I was thrilled to see the Europeans win on American soil, although I seriously doubt that I'll get heavily into golf, especially as regards rivalries of the past and so on. Highlight was undoubtedly watching Montgomerie being interviewed shortly after his putt clinched the cup and struggling very hard not to burst into tears!

Tuesday 21st September 2004
"Take these arms that were made for loving and this heart that will beat for two. Take these eyes that were meant for watching over you." (Song)
Come Into My World - Kylie Minogue: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Brian Clough retired at the end of the 92-93 season. Against which club was his very last league game in charge of Forest?
Ipswich: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

All things considered, the Return of Rio was largely uneventful as he was overshadowed thanks to two goals by fellow defender Mikael Silvestre and a lacklustre display from Liverpool. To be fair, aside from an early mis-kick in front of goal by Cisse, Liverpool barely got into the United half in the first half as we suddenly saw the Man United that we have grown to know and admire in recent years. Swift, clinical and incisive as Cristiano Ronaldo in particular gave them all sorts of problems. The second half was more even, although even after a freak own goal put Liverpool level, you could never quite foresee them netting a winner and their defensive problems in the air again came back to haunt them as Silvestre headed a carbon copy winner with his second free header of the game. As for Rio, he was only tested on odd occasions and could surely not have expected such a comfortable ride on his return, especially against Liverpool.

What a shame to hear of the death of Brian Clough, one of the few to achieve legendary status throughout the game, even before passing away. He was dominent when I first became interested in the game in the mid 70s and about to embark on a superb few years with unfashionable Nottm Forest, turning them into the English and European Champions, the latter in successive years! His forte was taking average players and teams and turning them into trophy winners and never at `big` clubs with all due respect to Forest and Derby. Yes, his time at Leeds (just before my time I should add) was brief and controversial and practically over before it had began, however that was a mere blip in a shining and highly entertaining career. Many felt that he should have been given the England job. Whichever way you look at it, the press conferences would have been interesting!! RIP Brian Clough OBE.

Wednesday 22nd September 2004
"Said I've paid all my dues for what i've done and I showed you that I love you more than once. Theres nothing left there to decide." (Song)
Trick Me - Kelis: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which three Prem clubs did Bolton beat on their way to last season's Carling Cup Final?
Liverpool, Southampton and Aston Villa: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It's become a well used cliche to say that Sam Allardyce has done an excellent job at Bolton, however last night's Carling Cup win at Yeovil simply emphasised that point. It wasn't so much the victory in what was a potentially tricky game, but more the line up that he put out! Nine changes from the last league game meant that it was effectively a second choice team, however such is the quality of the squad now that it included the likes of Les Ferdinand, El-Hadji Diouf, Kevin Nolan and the experience of legend Fernano Hierro! Whist Yeovil played well, keeper Chris Weale effectively kept them in the game with a series of excellent saves and it was only a matter of time before Bolton broke through. It was an entertaining game though between two clubs very much on the up and whilst Yeovil look good for promotion, Bolton could well be looking, justifiably, for a European spot.

What a fickle game football can be. Four days ago, Kevin Keegan was teetering on the edge of the cliff, awaiting one more poor result to be pushed over and get himself sacked. Now, after a win at Palace on Saturday and a 7-1 slaughtering of Barnsley last night, he suddenly has a job for life...or until the next game anyway. In this day and age when managers are sacked far too easily and quickly, Keegan is certainly hanging on at a club not known for giving their bosses extra chances. Indeed since Sir Alex has been at the helm across the rainy city, City themselves have had TEN managers! Speaks for itself doesn't it. Ironically, Keegan could yet get the push and become one of the few managers to do so having seen his side score seven goals in a game this season.

So Roma have decided not to appeal against UEFA's punishment for last week's abandoned game against Kiev. What a wise move from the Italians as they quit whilst only a little way behind and having received little more than a proverbial slap on the wrist. Awarding the game to Kiev was the least that UEFA could do and no-one could argue with that, however there was no heavy fine with the only other punishment being to play their other two home group games behind closed doors. Wow, I'll bet the visiting fans lined up to go to Rome are thrilled with that! Being banned through no fault of their own! Why not a neutral venue or even play it in the opposing nation? Nope, too easy! Roma - and maybe all Italian clubs - are skating on very thin ice and surely the next incident - and there will almost certainly be one eventually - should be the straw that broke the Italian camel's back!

Thursday 23rd September 2004
"Can't you give me some time. I got to give myself one more chance. To be the man that I know I am. To be the man that I know I am." (Song)

Mbulelo Mabizela, who featured for Spurs last night, is an international for which nation?
South Africa : Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

If ever a scoreline falsely reflected a match, it was surely Oldham 0 Spurs 6 from last night! Oldham matched their Premiership opponents for most of the match and even at 2-0 with more than an hour gone, it wouldn't have surprised anyone had the home side battled back into the game and whilst the third goal on 71 minutes effectively killed the match as a contest, Oldham still didn't look outclassed until the late, late goal blitz when their defence parted like the Red Sea. Yes, Spurs looked good going forward as you would expect with the likes of Kanoute, Keane and Defoe to choose from, however that's the first time this season they've netted more than one in a game and whilst the start made by the club should be applauded, I'm still not totally certain of their defensive qualities. That said, any club who scores six in a cup game should not have that achievement taken away and they'll perhaps be disappointed that their reward was an away game at Bolton which will pit two of the Prem's most improved clubs against each other in October.

On a similar note, I'm going to be within fairly easy driving distance of Leeds for the third round of the Carling Cup, so having beaten Swindon on Tuesday (which I'd not mentioned until now!!), I was hoping for a home draw and the opportunity to nip along, albeit with my Arsenal supporting step-father tagging along. Imagine then how I felt when I anxiously flicked on teletext this morning to see the draw, only to find that, not only are we away, but it's at Portsmouth - less than two hours from my home!!

Friday 24th September 2004
"And they love me for the same reason they used to hate me, because I'm the guy who knows everything." (Film)
Quiz Show: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Against which nation was Alan Smith sent off whilst playing for England?
Macedonia: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

There can be few players who've had more bad luck with injuries than Michael Bridges, who yesterday rejoined his first club Sunderland. When Leeds paid �5m for him in 1999, he was a revelation and was scoring goals for fun in his first season with us, however an injury sustained in Europe against Besiktas kept him out long term, only to return and collect another major injury, again in a European game if memory serves me. He was ultimately part of the Leeds clear out, but failed to make any impact at either Newcastle or Bolton, sparking the return to the Stadium of Light to send his career full circle. Personally I hope he manages to resurrect his goalscoring exploits as he still has time on his side, however with a potential debut at Elland Road tonight, there's no immediate rush okay?!

Anyone who uses a computer for any length of time will almost certainly have come up against a variety of problems, whether it's something simple with software not doing what you want or whether the PC itself is playing up, however we encountered a somewhat different problem yesterday! My wife's PC decided to emit a continuous bleep on start up, which eventually became punctuated with a micro-second of silence before continuing with the noise. Booting up, via a variety of blank screens and `safe mode` options, took the best part of 20 minutes and then, having double clicked the Outlook Express icon, it opened not once, but 115 times within a matter of seconds!! Thoughts of a virus or a bug in the recently downloaded XP Service Pack 2 went through my mind and then, more by luck than judgement, my wife found the problem - the `Enter` key was jammed and was effectively being constantly pressed!! Time for a new keyboard I reckon!

Saturday 25th September 2004
"Watching your back, like you can't relax. Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me." (Song)
Complicated - Avril Lavigne: Correctly answered by Eric the Eekman

Since the sacking of Sir Alf Ramsey in 1974, which England manager has been in charge for the most number of matches?
Bobby Robson (95 games between 1982 and 1990): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

I try not to dwell too much on defeats now, especially as they've happened so often in recent years! So, with that in mind, we'll gloss over our home defeat against Sunderland last night in what was an awful display by all accounts. Although it was on Sky, I missed it as we'd booked to see a Queen tribute band called Magic at our local theatre (booked before Sky changed all the fixtures!) and they were superb. From the first track (A Kind of Magic), they had the audience joining in as much as possible, culminating in a spine-tinging section of Bohemien Rhapsody which was `audience only`! The finale included Radio Ga Ga and We Will Rock You and the entire show was a brilliantly two and a half hours long! These guys don't try and be `look alikes` and prefer to concentrate on the sound and they were absolutely spot on, even during the multi-layered sections in Rhapsody! A few months go, I would have avoided tribute bands like the plague, however having now seen Abba and Queen in recent weeks, I'd highly recommend them! It sure as hell beat watching the football!!

Due to it being the town's carnival today, I've only seen and heard a bit of football today and it mostly went to form with the Big Three - Arsenal, Chelsea and Man United - all winning potentially tricky away games 1-0, whilst the two great pretenders - Liverpool and Newcastle - both won at home to relegation candidates. However my interest in the carnival was down to watching the extremely impressive evening parade, whilst the children's afternoon procession included my daughter, who along with her friend, dressed up as `Queens Of The Past`, specifically Queen Victoria and Queen Elizabeth I. They won first prize in their group and also a cup for being best out of two other groups! The trophy itself is terrific and as a Leeds fan I'll cherish being anywhere near any silverware!

Finally, on Sep 18th, I did a quiz question about players who've scored five goals in a game and how rarely it happens. Spookily enough, what happened today in the SPL? Yep, it did!! Kris Boyd netted all five goals all Kilmarnock beat Dundee United 5-2. Twilight Zone material!!

Sunday 26th September 2004
"When you look at me, tell me what do you see. This is what you get, it's the way I am." (Song)

Which member of Nottm Forest's victorious European Cup winning side of 1979 later went on to manage the club?
Frank Clark: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

There are times in life (don't worry, this won't get too heavy for a Sunday!) when you do perhaps wonder about your beliefs and whether there are higher forces at work somewhere. Take today's game between Nottm Forest and West Ham. Only a Roy of the Rovers style script could have come up with Brian Clough sadly passing away with Forest still looking for a first league win. They then go behind after an hour and equalise with ten minutes or so to go in a game that gave the fans chance to play tribute to the great man. Proof that fact remains stranger than fiction came in stoppage time when Marlon King returned from two games out to curl a brilliant winner for Forest and his reason for being out? A disagreement with the new boss! These quirky little twists of fate really can get you thinking...!

If there was an award for most surprising start to the season, then Everton would currently win it hands down. Their record of five wins and a draw in their opening seven games could have easily seen them top the table had it not been for Arsenal and Chelsea's sensational starts, however as it is, third place and within touching distance of the top two would have been a dream for their fans pre-season and, as I keep mentioning, this is all done without a certain Mr Rooney. Today's win at Portsmouth was a drab affair for the neutral, however Everton were the better team on the day and deserved their late winner from Tim Cahill, who thankfully kept his shirt where the FIFA officials intended. Whether they can continue this excellent start remains to be seen, however they have three of their next four games at home against Spurs, Southampton and Villa, with a trip to Norwich mixed in. All winable I'd say.

Monday 27th September 2004
"The world was on fire and no one could save me but you. It's strange what desire will make foolish people do. I'd never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you." (Song)
Wicked Game - Chris Isaak: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which two players were on the winning side in the 1978 league cup final and were then losers in the same final in 1993?
Viv Anderson and Chris Woods: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It's enough to make a grown man cry! As I logged on this lunchtime - for the second time actually after the bloody electric board forced an impromptu power surge and re-boot - I read on the Beeb's web site that Man United's profits are down this year to �27.9m. Now, before you grab the Kleenex yourself, remember that this is pre-tax PROFITS as opposed to income in to the club, however because it's down on last years total of �39m, then questions are asked naturally. United are left banking on a better season on the pitch, not to mention the prospect of various Rooney memorabillia generating more income, to get profits back up to their previous levels. How the other 5% live eh as around 95% of league clubs would surely be thrilled with even a fraction of �27m as a profit.

Whilst taking some newspapers into a nearby old folks home yesterday, I got chatting to an elderly chap who I knew from the shop and he apologised to me as he reckoned that he'd need to cancel his order quite soon. He did emphasise that it was nothing to do with our service, but explained that his wife was almost totally blind and that his own eyes were getting that bad that he could not read the smaller print in the paper. Personally, I felt terrified by this, because just five minutes earlier, I'd seen him driving up the road in his car before parking up and entering the building. Persumably then, whilst his eyes are not good enough to read the paper, they are absolutely fine to allow him to drive...!!!

Tuesday 28th September 2004
"All this talk of getting older, it's getting me down my love, like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown." (Song)
The Drugs Don't Work - The Verve: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

When Fenerbache became the first team to beat Man United at Old Trafford in Europe in 1996, who scored their history making winning goal?
Bolic: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Last night's win for Charlton against Blackburn moved the London side up to seventh whilst keeping Rovers too close to the drop zone for comfort, however new boss Mark Hughes should be in a position to turn things around. This is the first time I'd seen Blackburn since Graeme Souness jumped ship to pastures black and white and it truth, it wasn't a bad performance. Okay, the first half was instantly forgettable and Rovers conceded early in the second, but they looked the better team for long spells after the break and with the likes of Dickov, Stead and Jansen up front, they always have the potential to find the net. Hughes has inherited a squad of players which may not be to his liking and a daresay they'll be some changes in the January transfer window, however with a little luck on their side, mid-table respectability should be achievable.

Gripe of the week part 551: I'm sure that we're not the only ones to have bought various films on DVD a while ago, only to see the self same ones now re-issued, re-packaged and with stacks of extras. My wife bought the first three Hellraisers films a little time back, only for them now to come out as a box-set with an extra disc (admittedly at a stupidly high price!). In the past, I've bought two cracking films in the shape of The Untouchables and The Shawshank Redemption, both of which are now re-leased with extra this and additional that and I'm a little bit peeved that I'd have to pay twice if I want the extra stuff. Additionally, the directors cut of `Donnie Darko` is coming soon, although according to the review that I read earlier, even the extra scenes still leave many questions unanswered, which was one of the beauties of the film in the first place. The original is available for six quid anywhere, whereas the directors cut will be three times the price! A couple of years ago when DVD's first became popular, you were lucky to get the trailer and maybe a few interviews as `extras`. Now you get oodles of extra for the same price as you paid for the original disc which is a shame for those of us who've already paid once! On the plus side, I see that the re-issue of Reservoir Dogs which came out a few weeks ago, was half price in Woollies yesterday, so maybe waiting a couple of months is the tact to take.

Wednesday 29th September 2004
"But you've got to make choices. Be wrong or right. Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like." (Song)
Born To Try - Delta Goodrum: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Prior to last night, Andy Cole was the last Man United player to score a European hat-trick. Against which club?
Anderlecht (13th Sep 2000): Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Champions League night which gave the usual dilemma about which game to watch. Neither the Man United or Liverpool match was overly eye-catching and I fancied the Real Madrid - Roma game...until I heard those words, "Wayne Rooney starts for Man United." I knew that the headlines would be made at Old Trafford, for whatever reason, and that I'd better take a peek. Two hours later, I realised that I'd made the right decision after seeing eight goals, three from boy wonder himself. There's little doubt in my mind that Rooney will be a massive success at United and he'll certainly add an extra dimension - and a sackful of goals - up front, but I'm still not convinced that they are the finished product, especially at the back where they again looked fragile - and yes, that's even with Rio in the side! That said, whilst they looked like conceding more when put under pressure, they equally looked like scoring with each attack and anyone connected with the club must be confident of silverware this season, possibly in Europe and especially if they can get their away form sorted out.

Speaking of which, Liverpool slipped up again, this time in Greece against Olympiakos as they continue their quest of doing things the hard way. It was interesting to see that Djibril Cisse was relegated to the subs bench for the game and having seen his somewhat understated display against Man United a week ago, you wonder if Rafael Benitez feels that he's not quite pulling his weight. It should be remembered that, whilst he's a new signing for the club, he was bought by old boss Gerard Houllier and no-one is quite sure whether Benitez actually rates him that highly. Still, it's unfair to single out one player for Liverpool's failings, especially as they've been impressive at Anfield this season so far, however that's not enough to entice better players and trophies to the club and they really need to get their away day problems sorted out. Maybe they should have bid for Rooney!

Thursday 30th September 2004
"I'll catch the beast myself. He'll get what he deserves, a slow painful death. Maybe I'll put him in my spin-drier on high heat." (Film)
Gremlins: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In 1994, who was officially manager of the Welsh national team for just 48 days, covering only one match?
John Toshack: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

A bit of a mixed bag in Europe last night for the Brits with a win, a draw and a defeat for our three clubs. Due to being out all evening, I've only seen the goals so cannot comment on performances, however needless to say that Chelsea continue to slice through opposition in the Champions League like a hot knife through butter as boss Jose Mourinho saw off former club - and holders - Porto. The 3-1 win, clinched by a superb diving header by John Terry, leaves them with a 100% at the top of their group and in a superb position to qualify. Maybe they can go one step further than last year, although it's ironic that they are scoring for fun in the CL, but becoming 1-0 specialists in the Prem!

Elsewhere, Arsenal's doddery recent form continued as they took - and then lost - the lead against Rosenborg, a side who are a legend in their homeland, but minnows outside. The Gunners are still unbeaten and there is certainly no cause for panic, however unlike Chelsea, they look beatable in Europe and despite being a point clear in their group, will know that it's not a foregone conclusion quite yet.

And finally, to my SPL side, Celtic. A heartbreaking loss at home to Barcelona last time out was followed by similar in the San Siro last night as the Scots were level at 1-1, only to concede two very late goals to send them bottom of the group. The only saving grace is two games coming up against Shatkhtor, who have also lost both games so far as well. The bottom line remains that anything less than six points from those two games and Celtic will surely be on their way out of the CL.

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