Views From The Armchair

Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season January 2006

Sunday 1st January 2006
"I saw you standing at the gates, when Marlon Brando passed away. You had that look upon your face." (Song Lyric)
Advertising Space - Robbie Williams: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

As regards FA Cup Semi Finals, what happened in 1950 and 1993 that had never happened before or since?
Both games were local derbies: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

So, Christmas, New Year and everything that goes with it has been, gone and is resigned to sit in the memory banks for years to come. For what should be a lovely time of the year, there's an awful lot of rushing around and stress involved and although, thankfully we had very little of the latter, we did get caught up with the 100mph rat-race and seemed to spend most of the last week, visiting, hosting visitors or, on most days, working. That said, it's been good fun and I'm not going into `bah humbug` mode at all. We went to the panto yesterday - a local one rather than one with `named` stars and rejects from Australian soaps and as per usual, it was a great laugh with one of the main characters spotting me in the front row and squirting me with his water pistol on a number of occasions! I only discovered later that he'd asked a mutual friend which performance we were going to, just so that he could `target` me!

And so to football, of which there's been loads since Xmas and I'm not going through each game and every controversial decision as I'd be here all day typing and the page would end up looking like War And Peace. Instead, a quick mention of the biggest news story of the weekend which involves Michael Owen breaking his foot at Spurs yesterday. As you'd expect, the main focus is not how Newcastle will cope without him for 2-3 months, but more whether he'll be his usual goalscoring self for the World Cup in the summer. Country before club where awkward injuries are concerned obviously. Equally, the word `metatarsal` is now firmly ingrained in the brains of football fans throughout the nation, whereas a few shorts years ago, no-one outside of foot surgeons had ever heard of it! David Beckham has a lot to answer for! I wonder how long it'll be before the word is included in the Oxford English Dictionary (assuming it's not already of course) with the definition of "Small bone at the top of the foot, commonly broken by English internationals players." Remember where you read it first.

Monday 2nd January 2006
"I'm an English teacher, not *&%$ Tomb Raider." (Film Quote)
The Descent: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who was Liverpool's leading league scorer last season (04-05)?
Milan Baros: Correctly answered by Jim Blair

It's sods law isn't it? Your team gets to within one game of equalling an all-time club record only to fall at the final hurdle. That was the situation facing Liverpool toady as they travelled to Bolton, knowing that a win would clinch 11 wins in a row in the league and tie with the record set by the great Liverpool team of the 70s. Sadly for the new batch, it wasn't to be as Bolton twice took the lead at the Reebok and although the red machine battled back twice, they couldn't quite snatch that winner. Never mind, there's still plenty of games to go this season.

Souness out? Well, it might have been had they lost at home to Middlesbrough today and in truth, Newcastle were within seconds of doing just that having lost a lead against their North-East rivals, thanks to a late strike from JFH. The Souness saviour came in the shape of Lee Clark who earned a point - and a stay of execution for the boss - with his first Toon goal for what must be 8 or 9 years, although admittedly he has been travelling in between. Did they miss Owen? Probably yes.

The Chelsea machine continues to steamroller everything in sight as West Ham were put to the sword at home to the Champions. The first half was as onsided as you'll see as Chelsea dominated possession and although the Hammers had the better of the opening minute of the second half and equalised in the process, the result rarely looked in doubt. Quite an interesting afternoon for Hernan Crespo who came on in the 60th minute, scored within 45 seconds, missed two easier chances and was then subbed in the 83rd minute with a leg injury!

Finally, how different experts see the same incident in vastly differing ways. The sending off of Sunderland's Stephen Caldwell at Fulham was the one in question. Sky's Chris Kamara felt that it was highly unjust as it was a coming together of players legs as Brian McBride bore down on goal, however I caught the round up on Radio 5 and their commentator called it well deserved! Judge for yourself I guess.

Tuesday 3rd January 2006
"Buying bread from a man in Brussels. He was six-foot-four and full of muscles." (Song Lyric)
Down Under - Men At Work: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In the 1999-2000 FA Cup competition, which club had the unusual distinction of losing in both the 2nd AND 3rd rounds?
Darlington: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Third and loving it! Four wins on the bounce now for Leeds and, even if I do say so myself, we looked good at Plymouth last night, although for most of the first half it looked dodgy. It's not as though we were defending deep and under pressure, but the home side looked the better side until we finally managed to take some sort of control. Second half we were easily the better side, although 3-0 was probably a bit flattering. The play offs look likely rather than possible now and whilst automatic promotion still looks a pipe dream, I'd have settled for still being in touch at the turn of the year - and we are, so no complaints.

Missed Chances: That was some start at Ewood last night eh? Two excellently struck free kicks in the opening ten minutes - one for each club - set the tone for Blackburn's 2-1 win against Portsmouth. But guess which fool thought that, being a Monday night game, kick off was 8pm? Yep, I happily tuned in just before 8pm only to see that twenty-odd minutes had already been played and I'd missed both opening free kicks. I did catch them later at half time, but it's not quite the same as seeing them `live`. In future, I'll check kick off times carefully!

Wednesday 4th January 2006
Which 2005 blockbuster film was shot under the title of "Out Of The Night" in order to keep the public away from the set?
War Of The Worlds: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which 19-year old joined Newcastle in 2002 for �8.5m and then disappeared with little trace?
Hugo Viana: Correctly answered by Jim Blair

I wonder how many people, like me, were settling down to watch Arsenal take on Man United last night with a high level of expectancy? I was looking for the type of clashes of old between the clubs with crunching tackles, no quarter given or asked and some goals and chances mixed in. Sadly, what we got was misplaced passes, a few mistimed tackles and enough genuine chances to count on the fingers of one hand. In short, it was disappointing to say the least. Unusually for me, I tuned in for the pre-match bits and bobs (probably the fear of missing the start again after what happened on Monday night) where Sky treated us to the highlights of some former Highbury Classics between the clubs. That whetted the appetite, but unfortunately also raised the expectation level to a position where anything would be a let down. So 0-0 it ended which must have given Chelsea fans, players and officials a very good night's sleep. Not entirely due to the result, but due to the performances of the two clubs. It was mentioned before that Man United are `in transition`. I would argue that Arsenal are as well and if every a game needed and missed the likes of Patrick Vieira and Roy Keane to sharpen matters up, it was this one.

Thursday 5th January 2006
"People are all the same and we only get judged by what we do. Personality reflects name." (Song)
Ugly - Sugababes: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

When Spurs beat Man City in the 1981 FA Cup Final, it's often remembered that replay hero Ricky Villa was subbed in the first game, but who replaced him from the bench?

Spurs for the Champions League? This was mentioned in commentary during last night's win at Man City and, to be honest, it wouldn't surprise me if they did sneak into fourth place. They've looked pretty good all season and consistancy isn't a problem with only three defeats in 21 games, however everyone seems to think that they'll falter eventually and slip back, but even if they do, lets look at the opposition. Chelsea and Man United look destined for two of the top four places and on current form, Liverpool are a decent bet for another. However, aside from that, who do we have? Arsenal are good at home, but stuttering away and although they are six points adrift of Spurs (with a game in hand admittedly), it's not a foregone conclusion that they'll pull the deficit back. Bolton and Wigan are certainly inferior of Spurs, despite their plus points, which leaves a ten point gap to the next batch of clubs, all of whom are not a patch on Martin Jol's side. To me, Spurs will surely make Europe and could make the Champions League ahead of Arsenal which would be a major coup for their fans, and the only club that might stop them doing such is Spurs themselves! As long as they don't backfire and suffer a major collapse, I reckon they'll emulate Leeds of the late 90s and take Europe by storm.

Friday 6th January 2006
"Beautiful dawn. I'm just chasing time again. Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night." (Song)
High - James Blunt: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Who are the only club to have won the FA Cup by facing top division opponents in every round?

It's the third round of the FA Cup this weekend when minnows dream of killing big fish and many a sleepless night is had by fans of the latter as they prepare to face the former. The apparent highlight this weekend is non-league Burton Albion hosting Man United and whilst on paper, it epitomises the `magic of the cup`, I fear that it will end up being compared to a circus freakshow in that you feel that you need to see it, but end up feeling sorry for those taking part. Lets be honest, the odds of Burton pulling off a shock are as long as Sunderland winning the Premiership this season and, to me, only two questions remain to be answered over the game. Firstly, what sort of line up will Fergie start with, especially considering how close his reserves came to losing to Exeter last season and secondly, how many will United score and that really depends on the first question. Yes, the game brings out the footballing romantic in everyone, but as a contest it'll be over before it's begun.

Celebrity Big Brother started yesterday apparently which gave (and will give) the papers an opportunity to fill a double page spread each day on the programme. Many are upset by the choice of celebs as, among the has-beens, never-will-be's and those I've never heard of are a couple of `controversial` inclusions. The Mail calls them Sven's Mistress (Faria whatshername), Saddam's Pal ( George Galloway) and simply Him (Michael Barrymore) whilst the Express are slightly less tactful and call it The Sickest BB Ever. I'm not a fan of the show anyway, however people have a choice to watch or not so why complain about something you know you aren't going to like! Indeed, both papers (and indeed this very site!) are playing straight into the hands of the programme makers by giving it extra publicity and to do that, they need characters that people WILL talk about. No point having the likes of clean-cut Michael Owen in there is there? If they had their way, I daresay that Charles Manson and Dennis Neilsen would be high on their list!

I read today that Mrs Beckham (aka Posh Spice) took her three kids to the Enfield branch of Pizza Hut and spent �9.99 on a New Yorker for her and the sprogs. Good for her I say as she tries to keep their feet on the ground on what must be a somewhat extraordinary upbringing. What next I wonder? Wayne and Colleen spotted shopping in charity shop...!

Saturday 7th January 2006
"The city looks so peaceful from up here." - "Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet." (Film Quote)
Ferris Beullers Day Off: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In 1985-86, which top flight club did Altrincham knock out of the FA Cup?

Hats Off To Non-Leaguers: In particular, to Nuneaton and Tamworth who are the toast of the FA Cup third round this weekend. The latter were away at Stoke and earned a replay at home with a very creditable goalless draw, whilst Nuneaton had arguably the better result with a 1-1 home draw against Premiership Middlesbrough. They needed a late penalty to earn the replay at the Riverside, however on paper, Boro should have blasted them out of sight by the time it was awarded. It just goes to show that, despite my ramblings yesterday over the Burton game, things do happen out of the ordinary in this amazing game of ours and it rarely ceases to amaze even people like myself who've been following the game for donkey's years. The scorer of that late Nuneaton penalty was a guy called Gez Murphy and doubtless he'll be a national celeb for the next ten days at least and rightly so, that's part of the `magic of the cup` after all. It remains to be seen what happens after that as they often become a ten day wonder and rarely go on to bigger things. As an example, take Roy Essendoh whose late header for Wycombe beat Leicester in the QF's five years ago. He came from nowhere and disappeared back there, but like Mr Murphy from yesterday, left his mark permanently in FA Cup history.

Hats Of To The Hatters: Yes, Luton Town almost provided the shock of the season by knocking out Liverpool and at 3-1 up, it looked as though they had only for the European Champions to pull out their party piece and comeback to win 5-3. If there's a better game televised this season, then I hope I get to see it as this was something special even though I missed the first half an hour due to work. Both clubs ahead and then lost the lead, two penalties, eight goals and countless near misses and the whole thing was culminated by a goal from his own half by Xavi Alonso after the Luton keeper was caught upfield for a corner. It was the sort of incident that was bound to happen sooner or later. But great entertainment and proof that you can score against Liverpool!

Hats Off To Alan: Finally a mention for Alan Shearer whose goal for Newcastle against Mansfield not only sent his club through but also equalled Jackie Milburn's goalscoring record for the team. 200 goals now for Shearer and surely only a matter of time before he beats it.

Sunday 8th January 2006
Which was the first Stephen King novel to be made into a film?
Carrie: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Since the 1980's, which two players have appeared in FA Cup Finals for THREE different clubs?
John Barnes and Dennis Wise: Correctly answered by Jim Blair

Gone For A Burton: Well, I could hardly have been more wrong as Man United's slaughter of the innocents never materialised at Burton, leaving the non-league side with a sensational replay at Old Trafford. Sir Alex did the same as last year and fielded a team consisting of reserves and first team fringe players, yet they failed to really make any impact until the hour mark when heavyweights Rooney and Ronaldo made their entrance. Until then, Burton had matched their opponents and had two efforts cleared off the line. The two subs did make a difference with the Burton keeper saving twice from Rooney and then a brilliant stop in stoppage time from Ritchie Jones (No, I'd never heard of him either). So as my predicting skills once again sail out of the window, I'll look forward to the replay with interest to see what first eleven the United boss starts with this time. Surely with Europe now out of the equation, he can afford to use the first teamers?

London Pride Bashed: Not a good day for the Prem's London clubs as Fulham lost 2-1 at home to Leyton Orient and also missed a penalty which would have put them level, whilst Spurs blew a 2-0 lead as they crashed at Leicester. I mentioned at the start of the season that I felt Spurs would do well this campaign and in the league, they are. The cups are another story though and having lost at Grimsby in the Carling Cup, I couldn't see the same happening in the FA version, especially when they were two up. All it needs though is one moment to give the underdogs hope and when sub Elvis Hammond (credit to Craig Levein for changing his formation in the first half) tapped in just before half time, the match changed. The equaliser and stoppage time winner was reward for Leicester for never giving up and always believing that they had a chance. As for Spurs, it's concentrate on the league time and maybe in May, this result could prove to be a blessing in disguise, although it won't feel like that at the moment.

Monday 9th January 2006
"I could be handy, mending a fuse, when your lights have gone. You can knit a sweater by the fireside, sunday mornings, go for a ride." (Song Lyric)
When I'm 64 - The Beatles: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Which two players were involved in the first ever goalkeeper substitute in an FA Cup Final?

Time to pause for breath after a remarkable weekend and maybe even reflect on two stories that have not exactly been widely reported# and perhaps should have been. Firstly, following Chelsea's win over Huddersfield, boss Jose Mourinho invited the visiting players into the home dressing room for shirt swapping and autographs etc. You might call it a but prima donna-ish, but to me it's just a small gesture of goodwill. On the same tact, I'm astonished to be able to praise Wayne Rooney who, as one of the few first team players to be at Burton yesterday, spent time after the game (of which the result had hardly gone his way!) signing shirts and then posing for pictures with the families of the non-league players. Again, a smashing gesture and one which should get all the praise that it deserves.

Tuesday 10th January 2006
"The Coolest Event In 16,000 Years." (Film Tagline)
Ice Age: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Steve Staunton holds the record for the most number of appearances for his country, but who is second after him?

It would seem that, if rumours are true, the new Republic of Ireland management team could hardly be more diverse if they tried. Enter Steve Staunton. Veteran of 106 caps for his country, yet still a managerial virgin (excuse the crude generalisation!). His sidekick, at twice his age, looks set to be Sir Bobby Robson, who has done just about everything at a managerial level, including a World Cup semi final and also knows enough about club management to see the other side of club v country arguments. On paper, the FAI seem to have all bases covered, however I reckon it's a risk having someone in charge with no management experience, even if he's back one someone who could hardly have more. As with everything, time will tell, however the Irish fans have been spoilt in the past under the Jack Charlton and Mick McCarthy era(s), so anything less than qualification for tournaments AND doing well in them is seen as a let down.

It would appear that Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov wants a couple of games replayed in the SPL after he claims that his players were `beaten up` during the matches and in one - against Celtic - they had a player sent off whilst 2-1 down and eventually lost 3-2. The problem started when they appealed against the red card and won, sparking the suggestion that the match should be played again. He then added, "I didn't expect this kind of thing in Scotland. I have been through it in Lithuania but in Scotland you expect fair and proper football." I wonder if anyone should tell him that officials DO make mistakes in football and that things are not always fair and square. Methinks that these are the words of someone who usually gets his own way in life.

Wednesday 11th January 2006
"If you are confused check with the sun. Carry a compass to help you along. Your feet are going to be on the ground. Your head is there to move you around." (Song Lyric)
Stand - REM: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who were the two losing semi finalists in last seasons Carling Cup?
Watford and Man United: Correctly answered by Jim Blair

Considering it was such a drab game, Wigan's win against Arsenal last night did at least have one major talking point, notably when the lights went out at the JJB. Unlike those heady days of 97 and 98, this was nothing as sinister as a Far Eastern betting ring trying to influence matters, more a simple concern of an electrical problem affecting Wigan as a whole that plunged part of the city into darkness. On the pitch, it was pretty much a typical first leg of a cup tie with the home side looking to earn an advantage whilst the away side ensured that they weren't blown away before the second leg and ultimately both goals were gained. Arsenal's reserves looked a pale shadow of their first team counterparts, although away from home, neither have done well this season, whilst Wigan did what they had to do despite injuries, the African Nations Cup preparations and two enforced first half substitutions, one of whom came on and scored the winner. All told though, it's summed up when I asked a chap at the shop today if he watched the game and the main focus of conversation was the lights failure.

Whilst watching the above match last night, I could occasionally hear a faint whistling sound, much like the calling sound of a bird. It only lasted a short time - probably less than a second - but when I kept hearing it throughout the evening, I began to wonder what it was. It was impossible to discover where it was coming from as it didn't last long enough to trace it and having originally blamed it on the wind whistling down our chimney, my thoughts then wavered to a bird stuck somewhere in the room (dopey idea as the noise was quick and didn't sound urgent) to more sinister reasons like the spirits of an old house coming back to scare the living crap out of me! As I was beginning to wonder if I was hearing things, my wife came into the room and heard it as well! "Oh," she says, " That's my mobile. I've set it to chirp when I get a text!". Bloody thing chirps once a minute until you read the text!!

Thursday 12th January 2006
"He was always such a nice boy, the quiet one with good intentions." (Song Lyric)
Stole - Kelly Rowland: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In April 1988, which current Sky Sports pundit received a six-game ban whilst with Swindon?
Chris Kamara Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Another first leg and another game, however Blackburn's home draw against Man United did at least have something going for it apart from floodlight failure. United showed their intent by wheeling out all the big names, although Van Nistelrooy stayed on the bench, and Blackburn did similar by getting stuck into tackles and starting as though someone had stuck rockets up their backsides which almost say them score inside 30 seconds! The first half was certainly more like an English cup tie with two very good goals, one melee involving Robbie Savage, Wayne Rooney and Alan Smith which ended which all three being booked (Although Savage's `why me?` reaction was excellent after he'd got Rooney in a headlock!) and chances at both ends. The second half was more subdued if anything as United had the better of things but failed to breakthrough, leaving the second leg open. The biggest smile from me though came when Rooney was booked and the commentator proudly mentioned that he was now out of the Burton replay. Yeah, like he'd be selected anyway.

Friday 13th January 2006
"This Bible is the first book ever published. It represents the dawn of the age of reasoning. As far as I'm concerned, the written word is mankind's greatest achievement. Laugh if you want. But if Western Civilization is destroyed, I want to save one little piece of it." (Film Quote)
The Day After Tomorrow: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In 1986-87 which goalkeeper became the first player to play in all four divisions of the league in the same season?
Eric Nixon (Man City & Southampton (Div 1), Bradford (2), Carlisle (3), Wolves 4): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

If you believe what you read and the BBC web site, then one of the hottest young prospects in the country is about to move to pastures new. No, this isn't the winner of FHM's High Street Honey's moving abroad, it's Southampton's 16 year old starlet Theo Walcott who looks set to join Arsenal. Maybe I'm a bit naive, but I'm not convinced that this will be the best move him. I know there is a `loan back` option where the Gunners buy him and then loan him to Southampton (!!), however that aside, would he be better off with occasional appearances for Arsenal (or indeed Chelsea who are offering to better any Arsenal bid) or a virtual first choice for the Saints? Sadly in this day and age, good players are hardly given the chance to develop at smaller clubs before the bigger vultures come calling with their bright lights, potential trophies and wads of cash to lure them away. At 16, I was nowhere near leaving home!! Long term, hopefully he'll prove me wrong and in five years time he'll be an England regular, however I wonder how Shaun Wright-Phillips is looking at the footballing world at the moment? Seven months ago he was a Man City regular and England probable. Now he must be wondering whether he'll be watching the World Cup on the telly on not. The bright lights and big city is all well and good, but you can all too soon be languising in the reserves or `where are they now?` file.

Saturday 14th January 2006
"I feel so extraordinary, something's got a hold on me. I get this feeling I'm in motion, a sudden sense of liberty." (Song Lyric)
True Faith - New Order: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Middlesbrough's all time record defeat is 9-0 in 1954 against which club?

Gunners Blitz: For all the talk this season of Arsenal not being at their best, I imagine that Middlesbrough would have a different opinion after today as the Gunners equalled their own Premiership record of margin of victory and recorded the highest score of the current season as the walloped Boro 7-0. Apparently it's also the second heaviest defeat in Boro's all time history which says a lot. Of course it also emphasises that, when on form, Arsenal can be absolutely awesome and are capable of beating top clubs hands down and it's worth remembering that Boro thumped Man United not so long ago. What a difference between this display and the Gunners performance against United a couple of weeks ago.

Bragging Rights For City: Speaking of United, they came unstuck in the Manc derby thanks to defence uncertainty, borderline offsides that went against them and a sending off which, at best, was harsh. Ultimately, I think that City deserved their 3-1 win, especially after a first half that neither club seemed intent on creating goal scoring chances. Eventually City made, and took, two before half time and the die was cast. Whilst they remain second, this sort of result will go one of two ways for United. They'll either have a slump for a few games (starting with Burton, I wish!!) or, and more likely, treat it as a kick up the rear, as happened after the Boro defeat, and then have a run of wins on the bounce. In which case, watch out Burton!

Consistancy Again: And finally, two tackles in different games. One far worse than the other, yet the lesser offence earned the bigger punishment. We'll start with Cristiano Ronaldo's tackle on Andy Cole that saw him get a straight red card. There may have been intent coming seconds after Ronaldo felt that he'd been fouled, however no contact was made despite the studs showing. A few hours later, Bolton's Joey O'Brien caught a Blackburn player with a studs first challenge onto the top of his foot. Result? Yellow card! Call me cynical, but I wonder if the earlier sending off of Bolton's Hidetoshi Nataka influenced the ref??

Sunday 15th January 2006
"It's not always rainbows and butterflies, it's compromise that moves us along." (Song Lyric)
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

During WC2002, which two nations shared 16 yellow cards and two reds during one remarkable match?
Germany and Cameroon: Correctly answered by Jim Blair

Baggies Boost: For all of Wigan's excellent heroics this season, they were on the receiving end today as West Brom won for the first time away from home this season. Having been reduced to ten men before half time, you'd have probably got decent odds on a Baggies win, however it happened thanks to a goal from an unlikely source in the shape of Martin Albrechtsen. For their part, Wigan bombared the West Brom area in the latter stages but were largely restricted to long range efforts and poor attempts and when it looked certain that they'd equalise, the keeper did his bit with a brilliant late save. What it does mean among all that is that the bottom three are now adrift of the rest of the pack with a five point gap between 17th and 18th.

Red Red Robben Goes Bob Bob Bobbing Off: Yes Chelsea beat Sunderland in one of the most predictable results of the season, however the final score did tell the whole story as Sunderland took an early lead much to the surprise of the watching public. Equally unlikely was the sending off of Arjen Robben for over celebration! Now, whilst on the whole I agree with Andy Gray that the law is an ass and doesn't legislate for the sheer joy of scoring a goal, I can't really accept Robben's excuse that he wasn't aware of the rule. Remember Tim Cahill last season for the dreadful crime of pulling the shirt over his face? It's been in place for at least a season and a half so whilst it remains an incredibly harsh rule, Robben really needs to brush up on homework or he'll assume that handball is soon to be allowed as well.

Monday 16th January 2006
"When I'm in your arms, nothing seems to matter. My whole world could shatter, I don't care." (Song Lyric)
Groovy Kind of Love - The Mindbenders: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who was the Republic of Ireland manager for five years before Jack Charlton took over in 1986?

Svengate Part 17: Big news yesterday off the pitch was of course England boss Sven Goran Eriksson getting caught in an elaborate sting with the News Of The World who had him on camera confessing all sorts of mean and nasty things, ranging from quitting England if they win the world cup to be able to persuade David Beckham to join any club side that he was manager of, via a few digs at various players, including Michael Owen and Rio Ferdinand. Aside from the fact that someone, somewhere at the NotW actually had the gall to sit down and say, "Hey, why don't we set up Eriksson??", it's all been blown somewhat out of proportion and any ulterior motive to get him sacked will ultimately fail big time as the FA simply won't do it and it many ways, rightly so under these circumstances. Ironically, when he eventually does leave the job, he'll be remembered not for what happened on the pitch (unless they DO win the WC this summer) but for his various misdemeanours off of it. Personally, I believe that the top dogs at the NotW have not come in for more criticism over this, but that's the world we live in I guess.

I had one of those strange spooky moments today that makes you wonder if there is some unseen force doing it's clean and dirty deeds around the atmosphere. It was simply enough really as I left the shop where I worked and crossed the road to my car, I found myself whistling a particular tune (The one in today's lyric quiz!) for no apparent reason. Then, when the radio came on in the car, that very same song was being broadcast, albeit a cover version of the original! Strange happenings indeed and I wondered that if I closed my eyes, I might be able to `see` Wednesday's lottery numbers (which I didn't!). Only as I drove home did something occur to me - we had the SAME RADIO STATION on in the shop as I had in the car and it was literally half a minute between leaving the shop and getting into the car so it must have been playing in the shop as I left. The unexplained explained!

Tuesday 17th January 2006
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes ." (Film Quote)
Bruce Almighty: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which Prem club has had previous grounds at North Road, Monsall Road and Bank Street before moving to their current home in 1910?
Man United: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

According to a couple of the papers today, Wayne Bridge is set to join Fulham on loan for the rest of the season. Good move I say! Bridge has been one of the unlucky ones lured to the brights lights and big bucks of Stamford Bridge and then struggled to make an impact in the first team. Yes, he's been unlucky with injuries as well, however with a WC squad waiting to be announced in five months time, he surely knows that languising on the subs bench or in the reserves with not help his cause, hence the temporary move. I mentioned the same last week as regards Shaun Wright-Phillips who is in the same quandry and could use a similar move for the same reason. Moving to the top clubs is all well and good, but you could easily end up with people forgetting you exist.

Being a fan of useless lists, I was interested to see the latest one which details the top 100 things searched for on MSN last year. The usual stuff is there - Man United (only at 56 though), Liverpool (8), yet no sign of Chelsea! Equally, the showbiz names make an appearance with Angelina Jolie (4), Britney Spears (5) and Charlotte Church (17) all high up. Some strange ones are there making you wonder why so many people are searching, including Tsunami (22), Giant Squids (46) and General Election (69). Most worrying though are the Crazy bloody Frog at 15, X-Factor at 12, Big Brother at number 2 and top of the pile - EastEnders! Heaven help us!!

Wednesday 18th January 2006
Which 1982 horror classic was based on the short story, "Who Goes There?" by John W.Campbell?
The Thing: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

For which club did former Leeds (legend) boss Don Revie play in an FA Cup Final?

Penalty Heartbreak - Leeds 3 Wigan 3: As I've got to be up at stupid o'clock, I questioned my wisdom about sticking with the Leeds match until the very end on more than one occasion last night, most notably just after we'd lost on penalties as the clock came around to 10:30pm. That said, it was worth it in a strange way. Throughout, Wigan looked the better side and if they could have defended set-pieces to any degree, it would not have even got to extra time. However, we took our chances and when, with four minutes of extra time left, Gary Kelly - who scores as often as Halley's Comet appears - sticks a third equaliser into the net from 25 yards, you begin to feel - for the first and only time - that this was going to be our night. Sadly, thanks to two penalties getting nearer the aforementioned comet than the goal, it wasn't to be, but it was highly entertaining stuff and totally nerve-wracking for this Leeds fan who had one eye on the TV and one eye on the clock throughout. All told, I'm not overly disappointed as I didn't expect us to progress anyway, although I did spending a further half an hour in bed wondering `What If` as regards those two missed penalties!

Tamworth 1 Stoke 1: If Leeds losing was bad enough, I have to spare a thought for Tamworth. Ten minutes away from knocking out Championship Stoke when an equaliser sends it to extra time and then to lose on a sudden death penalty shoot out. Harsh and unlucky hardly does it justice and even this morning at work, we had a couple of people moaning about penalty shoot-outs and how they should not be used to decide the game. The problem remains the same as usual in that until we have a better solution (aside from returning to constant replays until someone wins - fixture congestion alert!) then they are as good as we've got. One chap suggested playing until a goal is scored if it's level after 120 minutes! Imagine a drab 0-0 game! They could still be playing at midnight and beyond.

Thursday 19th January 2006
"Mickey is a mouse, Donald is a duck, Pluto is a dog. What's Goofy?" (Film quote)
Stand By Me: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Burton reached the SF of the FA Trophy last season where they lost 7-0 on aggregate to which of this season's Conference clubs?

Predictably predictable: Whilst I often ramble on about football being wonderfully unpredictable, arguably more so than any other sport, there are also times when the match and outcome seems to have been scripted to the most likely outcome. Last night was one such occasion. Don't get me wrong, Burton Albion did brilliantly to earn a replay against Man United at Old Trafford and the players and fans will remember it for as long as they live, however few if any people would have risen their eyebrows at the final score of 5-0. Asdmittedly with a little more luck and a more powerful header, Burton could have taken a shock lead but from the moment that Louis Saha put United ahead, it was a matter of `how many` rather than who would win. The cliches are out now with it being the `end of a fairytale` and suchlike and that's fine and it's a testiment to Burton that their exploits this season will keep the club in business for a while to come. The biggest irony is that they could end up playing more FA Cup ties this season than the eventual winners!

Equally, at Goodison, Everton saw of their struggling Championship counterparts Millwall, albeit narrowly and although the 1-0 win was perhaps what most would have expected, the real "I should have bet on that" scenario came via the scorer of the winner as ex-Millwall star Tim Cahill netted against his former club. As has become largely the norm these days, his celebrations were decidely low key for someone who'd just scored a late FA Cup winner and in a way it's good to see that former players don't feel the need to rub the noses of former fans into the dirt (well, no more than a goal against has done anyway).

Saturday 21st January 2006
"So don't become some background noise, a backdrop for the girls and boys." (Song Lyric)
Radio Ga Ga - Queen: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which two players were each banned for 5 weeks in August 1974 after a Wembley punch up saw both sent off?
Billy Bremner and Kevin Keegan Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Sorry for no entry yesterday. Long day and long story! Today however we had an occurance rarer than a Gary Kelly goal...

Sunderland win! Yes, for only the second time in 22 league games, Sunderland win a game as football fact again proves to be stranger than fiction. Last week, ten man West Brom deservedly won at high flying Wigan, yet this week they lose at home to basement club Sunderland and the visitors deserved it! Okay, the goal was a bit flukey both with the deflection and the foul in the build up, however they needed some luck this season and finally got it. Now, if they could escape relegation from this position, that would be the comeback to end them all.

Away Day Blues: Last week Arsenal walloped Middlesbrough 7-0. This time around, they lose at Everton in a game that they never really looked like getting anything out of. The goal was a matter of strength from James Beattie and the late red card for Cesc Fabregas was warranted and a classic example of a player sticking his nose in where it (a) doesn't belong and (b) isn't needed. I like Fabregas but hopefully he'll learn from this. So as Arsenal at home continue to sweep clubs aside, the away version is another story and could yet cost them a Champions League place.

Souness On The Brink: You wonder whether a home defeat at the hands of Blackburn, ironically his former club, will be the straw that broke Graeme Souness and his reign at St James Park. The Newcastle boss has been skating on the proverbial thin ice for a while, this could be just the defeat to finally end the patience of those that matter. Watch this space.

Practice penalties: In midweek, Stoke knocked out non-league Tamworth from the FA Cup on penalties. Today poetic justice was done as they not only lost 3-0 at home to Hull City, but also had TWO penalties saved!

Spare A Thought: Finally, a word on Luke Moore. The Aston Villa striker came on as sub with ten minutes to go with the score 0-0 at Spurs. Five minutes later, he was off again, substituted after Gareth Barry was sent off and the formation re-arranged!

Sunday 22nd January 2006
"If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits eighty-eight miles per hour you're gonna see some serious sh*t." (Film Quote)
Back To The Future: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

When Man United beat Liverpool 2-1 at Old Trafford last season, which United defender scored both goals?
Mikael Silvestre Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

What more can possibly happen this week? Firstly Gary Kelly scores for Leeds, then Sunderland win and now Chelsea FAIL to win at home!! You wonder if their bogey team, if indeed they do have one, is rapidly becoming Charlton as they knocked Chelsea out of the Carling Cup this season and now held them at home again today. Due to being in Bristol all afternoon, I missed all the football, however from what I heard on the radio and read since, Charlton fully deserved their point as Chelsea jist failed to click into action. Considering they struggled a little last week at Sunderland and now again today, I reckon that Everton will fancy their chances in the FA Cup next week and might just spring a surprise.

Meanwhile at Old Trafford, Man United left it late to see off arch rivals Liverpool and earn league bragging rights for a while longer. Although Sky didn't seem to pick it up, Radio 5 mentioned that Gary Neville took it a little too far and ran the length of the pitch to celebrate the goal in front of the Liverpool fans! Whilst it's well known that he hates Scousers, this is not only unwise, it's downright idiotic and although I've not seen it, assuming any cameras spotted it, he really deserves, at least, a dressing down from his boss. The other thing that came across was how poor a game it was, as was the game at Anfield earlier in the season. Hardly a good advert for the Prem is it?

Monday 23rd January 2006
"Many's the time I ran with you down. The rainy roads of our old town. Many the lives we lived in each day and buried altogether." (Song Lyric)
Bedshaped - Keane: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which current Prem defender scored after just 37 seconds for England against South Africa in May 2003?
Gareth Southgate Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It would seem that everyone's favourite Man United player could be in a spot of trouble with the police. They are somewhat concerned as regards his actions yesterday (running 60 yards to celebrate in front of the one section of Old Trafford that didn't contain United fans!) and have written to the FA stating their worries. I've seen it now on Sky and although United are playing it down a little, as was his brother yesterday, it doesn't alter the fact that it could have sparked problems on the terraces over something that should and could have been avoided. The bottom line is that if Arjen Robben gets booked for celebrating with his OWN fans, Neville should be looking forward to a meeting with the FA regarding yesterday.

Aside from football, I wouldn't really say that I'm a fan of any other sport. Mostly my interest ends with looking at the results to see how things are going, however I did watch a bit of the Ashes series in the summer, which for pure drama was sensational, and snooker I am happy to watch as well. So, after a long day yesterday and a day off today, I decided to watch some of the final of the Masters from Wembley Arena last night as Ronnie O'Sullivan took on John Higgins. I used to play a bit of snooker a few years back and fully appreciate the deftness and skill involved, however for edge of the seat excitement, last night took some beating as it all went down not only the final frame but the final ball as Higgins cleared the table to come from 60-0 down in the final frame to win and that all started with a pot which barely reached the pocket and only just toppled in to begin the break. Throughout the evening my eyelids were getting heavier and I may have dropped off on odd occasions, however I simply couldn't switch off and needed to keep watching - memories of the 1985 final between Davis and Taylor! Eventually the final black dropped in a few minutes before midnight leaving me and many others breathless!

Tuesday 24th January 2006
"Are we a nation of gun nuts or are we just nuts?" (Film Tagline)
Bowling For Columbine: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Between Kevin Keegan leaving and Sven Goran Eriksson arriving, which two coaches took control of one England game each at the end of 2000?
Howard Wilkinson and Peter Taylor: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

So, Sven has finally become a victim of the media and will leave as England boss after the World Cup. Whether this is the right decision or not, only time will tell, however he will get a �3m pay off to soften the blow of ending his contract two years early. He'll follow in the footsteps of the likes of Graham Taylor, Glenn Hoddle and Terry Venables, all of whom incured the wrath of Fleet Street (yes I know that no papers are published there now) for either their on field performances or off field activities. That said, even Bobby Robson had his tough times and Eriksson will mirror his exit with advance warning of his departure ahead of a World Cup. The bets are now on as to who will replace Sven with Steve McLaren hot favourite, persumably due to his already being in the set up rather than a reflection of how things are going with his club at the moment! How Sven will be remembered after he goes in six months will probably depend on how they do in Germany, but if England don't win the World Cup, it will be a catalogue of off-field problems that will be high on his CV as remembered by the fans.

It stands to reason that many games produced a decent goal, however rarely does one match throw up a combination of stunners as happened at Upton Park last night. Fulham's consolation, thumped in off the post by Heidar Helguson, was impressive enough, however compared to the two netted by the Hammers in the first half, it paled into insignificance. The second, a lovely run and inch perfect chip by Yossi Benayoun, was sheer bums-off-seats material, however it was preceeded by one of the best struck volleys you'll see this, or any, season. Had it come from Wayne Rooney or Thierry Henry, we'd be talking about it for weeks and it would be shown on endless replays, so lets hope that the same privilage is given to Anton Ferdinand (been a good weekend for his family!) whose goal tally had be counted on the fingers of one hand. If he tried it another 50 times, it would probably be saved or end up in Row X on 49 occasions, however this time not only was it deadly accurate but also struck with superb power. Oh, and guess who was on the phone when it hit the net and missed it `live`?

Wednesday 25th January 2006
"Waking up at 6am on a cool warm morning. Opening the windows and breathing in petrol." (Song Lyric)
That's Entertainment - The Jam: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who knocked Wigan out of the Carling Cup in the first round last season?

Wigan in Europe? It's very much possible and suddenly out of the realms of the ridiculous after their late show at Arsenal saw them into the final of the Carling Cup! Others will bleat on about the fairy tale story and other such similar remarks and naturally it's true enough, however on the pitch, the way they matched an almost full strength Arsenal side every step of the way spoke volumes. They should have had at least one penalty, probably two, and went behind in extra time with just twelve minutes to go, yet never gave up and snatched a late equaliser that saw them through on away goals. Maybe it was just me, but the build up to Jason Roberts' strike seemed to happen almost in slo-mo (I have checked that my Sky+ isn't playing up!) as the Arsenal defence seemed to freeze as they dreamt of the Millennium Stadium, and allowed Roberts and Co to score that late goal. Reaching the Prem was some achievement for them, however reaching a final with the dangling carrot of a trophy and the UEFA Cup at the end of it must be beyond all dreams that they might have had at the start of the season. Should they play Man United in the final, then I believe that they are guaranteed a place in Europe if they lose and United finish top four, so I daresay they'll be cheering on the Old Trafford side tonight.

I rarely keep the TV on after the final whistle has gone, however last night I need despite the late finish and just caught the shot of the young Arsenal fan, probably no older than seven or eight, with tears streaming from his eyes after the defeat had sunk in. I wondered what the background had been? Maybe it was just the shock of a late loss that hit him, or perhaps his father or Uncle had promised to take him to Cardiff if Arsenal got through. We'll probably never know, but then maybe we will because I would lay odds on The Sun printing the picture tomorrow with a `do you know this boy?` caption, followed a couple of days later with an interview with the lad and his family stating how gutted he was. Sky Sports News will then do a follow up with him kicking a ball around in the garden with his older brother and pet labrador! Crying on the box can make you into a national figure!

Thursday 26th January 2006
In what film does Paul Newman (81 today incidentally!) play a character with the surname Rooney?
Road to Perdition: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which Scottish club are nicknamed The Honest Men?
Ayr United: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Lancashire Moves To Cardiff: Man United's win over Blackburn last night set up an all-Lancs Carling Cup Final and in truth, it was quite an exciting game that had a bit of everything. Defensive errors for the first two goals, a missed penalty and an appeal turned down, although quite what the difference was between the two offences is beyond me - oh yes, one was for Man United and the one not awarded was for Blackburn. Add to the mix a sliced shot that won the game and a half time tunnel bust up and you had a very newsworthy encounter. I love it when two players go hammer and tong in the tunnel (or on the pitch) that everyone else just piles in. Wouldn't it be nice if it were like school and when a scrap starts, all the others form a circle and chant, "Fight, fight!"

4am on a cold Thursday morning and myself and one of my early morning work colleagues are getting the security shutters down from the windows of the shop where we work, and up comes a lad aged maybe 17 or 18, obviously looking for someone or something. We ask if he's okay and he mentions that he's fine, however two of his mates have `gone off without him` and did we have a phone he could use. Suspicious, but always eager to help, we lead him to the one out the back where we sort the papers, only to be told that he needs a mobile so that he could text them! I must admit that the alarms bells are now ringing loudly in my head, even at such an early hour, so quick as a flash, I state that none of us bring mobiles to work but if he wanted to ring his mates via our landline, he was welcome. Maybe I was being over cautious, however I had visions of handing him my mobile (discreetly tucked away in my inside pocket!!) and him doing a 200m sprint around the very poorly lit corner and never seeing him - or my phone - again! Last we saw of him, he was trudging reluctantly up the road, probably hoping to find some other gullible person up and about.

Friday 27th January 2006
"Monday's got a beautiful baby and Wednesday's child can never win. Little Saturday will work till he's crazy." (Song Lyric)
Friday's Child - Will Young: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who missed the two England penalties in the Euro 2004 shoot out defeat against Portugal?
David Beckham and Darius Vassell: Correctly answered by Jim Blair

Today's draw for the qualifiers for Euro 2008 threw up some interesting (and big!) groups with varying degrees of luck for the home nations.

England will be hugely condident of qualification having been matched up with Croatia, Russia, Israel, Estonia, Macedonia and Andorra and whilst many of us would struggle to find at least three of those on a map, I'd be absolutely stunned if England make a pigs breakfast of topping the group, or at the very least, qualifying in second. Yes, some tricky away games, notably in Russia and Croatia, however I cannot see the mighty Andorra giving too many sleepless nights to Beckham, Rooney and whoever takes over Sven.

Northern Ireland will face the might of Sweden, Spain, Denmark, Latvia, Iceland and Liechtenstein. Only the most optimistic Irishman would hope for qualification from whoever they happened to be drawn against, however just looking at the first three of the list gives the impression that anything above fourth would be a major achievement.

The Republic and Wales will play each other as well as the Czech Republic, Germany, Slovakia, Cyprus and San Marino. Both nations could get through and it will be interesting to see how the Staunton/Robson partnership works for the Irish. That said, it would probably be a surprise if the two 1996 finalists failed to get the top two spots.

England would probably not be overly concerned at having to face the likes of France, Italy, Ukraine, Lithuania, Georgia and the Faroe Islands. Okay, it would be a toughie, but they'd relish the challenge. Sadly, Scotland are the ones faced with the might of the Flambouant French and tough tackling Italians. And I cannot believe we've got the Faroes again! They must be chasing the sheep with anticipation of more points!

Saturday 28th January 2006
"This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that Cellar Door is the most beautiful." (Film Quote)
Donnie Darko: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which Prem club knocked Brentford out of last season's FA Cup in the fifth round?

More Away Day Blues: Yep, Arsenal have emulated Blackburn on FA Cup fourth round day by going out of both domestic cups in a week. Whilst Blackburn's loss at West Ham was not exactly a shock, the same could be said for the Gunners going out at Bolton in this evening's televised match. It's hard to find a suitable description for the match and whilst the papers will probably come up with `sterile` and `drab`, my personal feeling is that `piss poor` would be more apt. The winner, it has to be said, was a lovely header from Giannakpolous, however prior to that, the biggest cheer from the fans came when Robin Van Persie miskicked horribly on the edge of the area and ended up flat on his back after a classic air shot. Away from Highbury, Arsenal are terrible at the moment and with the league seemingly well out of reach, the Champions League is now their only chance of silverware this season and if they struggle with a journey up the M6, then a trip to Spain could be a nightmare.

Win of the day surely goes to Brentford who knocked out Premiership strugglers Sunderland for whom boss Mick McCarthy must be dreading it each time the phone goes. Martin Allen has worked wonders at Brentford and you can only imagine how his managerial style would go down at a higher level. Mind you, the way things are, we could find out with his current side soon!

I predicted a week ago that Everton might just shock Chelsea today and had it not been for a late-ish equaliser from Frank Lampard, they might well have done. For all their struggles this season, Everton have now held Chelsea twice, as indeed have Charlton, so perhaps a few other Prem bosses should be getting some tips from Messrs Moyes and Curbishley.

Sunday 29th January 2006
"Till I'm wheezing like a bus stop. Running up the stairs, gonna meet you on the rooftop." (Song Lyric)
Summer In The City -Lovin Spoonful: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who are the only two clubs to have won all four divisions of the football league?

The final two FA Cup ties today, both of which went to form...

No Bite From Wolves: Man United's 3-0 win at Wolves was a classic example of a game that ended as soon as the first goal went in. Sadly for the watching public - Man United fans aside - it came in the fifth minute and there was never any doubt thereafter as United largely dominated. Wolves seemed intent on giving their opponents time in midfield and allowed them to play, lying deep themselves and hoping to play on the break. By the time this was rectified, United were two goals ahead and only really when they added a third did Wolves finally begin to tackle on a regular basis, probably borne out of frustration. Ultimately few would be surprised at the final score, however when they look back on the game, the Wolves verdict will probably be "could have done better."

Liverpool March On: Two away wins in the FA Cup now for Liverpool, although they did need a dodgy penalty, yet another awarded for hand ball, to get them started against Portsmouth. Actually, it's just as well that it was given as it kick-started a match that, for 36 minutes, looked like it was going absolutely nowhere and I'd be the first to admit that I nodded off on more than one occasion. Unlike Wolves, Portsmouth did at least put up a bit of a fight and, with a little more luck, could have snatched an equaliser in the second half, but it wasn't to be. One final thing though. Was it just me or did John Arne Riise's goal almost seem a little unreal as everyone seemed to freeze and standstill as it went in. Or maybe I was still half asleep.

Monday 30th January 2006
"The compass doesn't point North. But we're not trying to find North, are we?." (Film Quote)
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

1923 saw the first Wembley FA Cup Final, but which stadium hosted the previous three finals from 1920 to 1922?

So what do we make of the fifth round draw for the FA Cup. Stand out clash is undoubtedly Liverpool hosting Man United, where I'm sure Gary Neville will get a warm welcome from the Anfield faithful, although wouldn't it be ironic if the FA banned him over his antics at Old Trafford last weekend and he ended up missing the match! It's simply a game that will be impossible to predict a winner as it'll be a matter of who performs on the day. There are at two other all Prem games with Bolton against West Ham again eye-catching at it's a repeat of the first ever Wembley Final - the so-called White Horse Final - back in 1923. Brentford and Colchester will probably have seen the end of their fairy tale runs with away games at Charlton and Chelsea or Everton respectively, although you never know, shocks do happen. Finally, what did just hit me looking at the draw again is that there is the potential for all eight quarter finalists to come from the top flight! Ok, there are many ifs and buts before we get there, but it's certainly possible.

Tuesday 31st January 2006
"Tell you what I got in mind, cos we're running out of time. Won't you ever set me free. This waiting around is killing me." (Song Lyric)

Which Prem club had 11 different grounds in 17 years before moving to their current home in 1896?

Apparently, Wolves fan Julie Perry is upset with Gary Neville. Not because of who he is, although that probably doesn't help, but because she was the unlucky one to be in the firing range when he smacked the ball into the crowd during Sunday's game. Now, this was the incident that got Neville booked when he missed the net by miles as the dead ball came back into play, however Mrs Perry states that she turned to chat with her son and the ball walloped her in the chops and Neville didn't even apologise, sparking Mrs Perry into action by writing to United! With all due respect, the ball looked as though it sailed high into the stands so unless Neville was deadly accurate, he surely wasn't aiming at her and probably had his back turned away. More to the point, surely this is an `occupational hazzard` if you go to watch any football match, whether it's at Wolves, Old Trafford or Badgers Hill (Frome Town since you ask). Lets hope we don't get to the politically correct stage where fans are complaining when a crunching tackle sends the ball spiralling into the crowd and clobbers a fan in the face. Fair enough, it couldn't have been nice for Mrs Perry, but get a life and get on with it.

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