Views From The Armchair

"Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season February 2004

Sunday 1st February 2004
"Gonna write a song so she can see. Give her all the love she gives to me. Talk of better days that have yet to come. Never felt this love from anyone." (Song)
Songbird - Oasis: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Bryan Robson holds the record for the fastest England goal to be scored at Wembley. It happened in December 1989, against which nation?
Yugoslavia: Correctly answered by Adrian Jobling

Well, well, well! What a weekend it's been in the Prem with the Big Three all winning and after Man United battled to beat Southampton yesterday, Arsenal and Chelsea had to do similar today to see off Man City and Blackburn respectively. I was only home just in time to see the first game from Ewood which was just as well due to Rovers cracking early start, however overall it was a deserved win for Chelsea albeit via an unorthadox route as regards Glen Johnson scoring a stunning winner! Things weren't helped when my mother rang with the score still at 2-1 and well into the final ten minutes. Although her knowledge of technology is limited, she's come to realise that, if in doubt, it can usually be found on the `Net, so there was me trying to hold the phone in one hand, type with the other hand on my wife's PC (the nearest one to the phone) and watch the end of the game! Ultimately I was typing when Rovers levelled matters, however I did have the foresight to hang up (with her consent!) just before the late Chelsea winner.

And so to Highbury where Arsenal regained top spot in a game against Man City which should have been remembered for the debut of new signing Jose Antonio Reyes and a stunningly struck shot from Thierry Henry to put the Gunners 2-0 up. However, like yesterday, good news does not make a good back page and tomorrow's printed material will doubtless concentrate on the late spat after Nik Anelka scored and was sent off within a minute. His crime was to try and return the ball to the centre circle after he'd scored, however Ashley Cole got there first and wouldn't let go, resulting in Anelka grabbing Cole's head with both hands, sparking a mini- brawl. Ultimately Anelka saw red whilst Cole was booked, however these instances occur often and although they usual ease off after seconds, when it prolongs as happened today and everything goes a bit OTT, it's my opinion that the player who instigated proceedings by holding onto the ball should get the same punishment as the one he antagonised should the referee feel that punishment is warranted. After all, whilst I admit that Cole, as an Arsenal player, had every right to collect the ball, surely he knew the potential consequences of his actions which ultimately began the brawl. Effectively Cole started it, so why is he booked and Anelka sent off? Either book them both or send them both off, that way maybe in the future players will learn not to be so petty. After all, even if Cole would have done nothing and let City have the ball, Arsenal still have their own time to restart the game, regardless of how quickly City take the ball back to the middle!

Monday 2nd February 2004
"Never been a sinner, I never sinned. I got a friend in Jesus." (Song)
Spirit In The Sky - Norman Greenbaum: Correctly answered by Cheryl Warner

After Celtic and Rangers, which club have won the Scottish Cup most times?

Another player looks set to leave Leeds, although in a strange quirk of contract, although Paul Robinson looks set to sign for Spurs, he's staying at Leeds on loan for the remainder of the season! As one of our few remaining assets (Smith and Viduka arguably the only others) I'm not entirely surprised to see him go, especially as he almost joined Villa and Arsenal in the summer, however you do wonder if the ones running the club have effectively done what many fans are doing and accepted the fact that relegation looks likely rather than just possible. Should that be the case, and maybe even if we do drag ourselves out, this summer will see masses of change at the club with the line up for the start of next season bearing little resemblance to the ones that will see this campaign out. To me at least, it will be a way of making a new start at the club, much the same as happened when we went down in 1982. Back then, it took eight years to get back and only then when the likes of Howard Wilkinson and Gordon Strachan joined the ranks and it could, and probably will, take a similar length of time on this occasion. Maybe we'll see a Phoenix rise from the proverbial ashes....!

Yesterday we had a trip to Bristol airport which is less than an hour from us, as I'd agreed to collect a work colleague and her husband who have been away in the Algarve for a month! It was well worth it as, to get to the main car park, the road runs right next to the nearby runway and, if you are lucky, planes swoop very low over the road as they prepare to land. We were indeed lucky as one came directly over the front of our car as we approached. Having then collected the couple we were there for, we listening intently to the tanned pair as they talked about temperatures in the mid 70s Fahrenheit and how days lounging by the pool reading were common! So on the main road back home, we put a pre-hatched plan into operation as, once I'd got to a decent speed (within the speed limit you understand!) we wound down all the windows and let the cold air flood into the car! As we explained, even at temps struggling to get into double figures Celsius, it was still one of the warmer days of late and it was getting hot inside the car! Needless to say, we wound the windows up again shortly afterwards, but their faces were a picture!

Quote from Ashley Cole yesterday over his spat with Nik Anelka: "I only did what he did so it should have been a yellow card for both of us or a red for both of us." - Has he been reading my site??

Finally, I loved the headline on Sky News site today regarding the American president: "Bush Announces Intelligence Probe." Bloody hell, that could take a while!!

Tuesday 3rd February 2004
"Ever since I was a young boy, I've played the silver ball." (Song)
Pinball Wizard - The Who: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

In season 93-94, which current Prem club were relegated from Div 2 to Div 3?
Fulham: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It would seem that I jumped the gun a little over Paul Robinson's transfer & loan back to (and from!) Spurs as it somehow went against a Premiership ruling and was blocked, although it looks likely to go through in the summer. Spurs had the considerable consolation of signing Jermain Defoe from West Ham instead with Bobby Zamora going opposite ways across London. I can't help feeling that whilst Defoe is an excellent acquisition, Spurs had their priorities right in the first place with Robinson. There are many Spurs fans around here and they all say the same - the forwards are top notch, but at the back and in midfield, they are light-weight and desperately need reinforcements. Indeed, they are in danger (if that's the right word!) of becoming the 2004 equivalent of Newcastle in the mid 90s and their `they score three, we score four` mentality with the likes of Kanoute, Keane, Postiga and now Defoe trying to counteract the deficiencies at the back. Mind you, it might make them worth watching for a change!

It was a shame to read last week that Atomic Kitten are splitting up. My daughter has been a fan of the all-girl group for a couple of years and long time readers may recall that we met them in Bristol last November and my daughter had her photo taken with them. Whilst their songs were total and pure pop, they are certainly catchy and I'll remember for a long time a holiday we took in 2002 when five of us drove through a Haven site in North Wales where we were staying, singing Whole Again at the top of our voices (and yes, we were sober!). Apparently the trio have around �200,000 each in their bank accounts which seems a lot for the likes of us, however it is a drop in the ocean compared the millions usually earned by the top stars. The reason is that many of their biggest hits - Eternal Flame, Tide Is High, Ladies Night - are cover versions, sending a lot of the royalties to the original writers/artists. It would seem that to make top bucks in the music world, you need more than a pretty face and a decent signing voice. You also need to be able to write your own material and be original, a talent sadly lacking in many of today's new `stars`.

"This must have been one of our worst games this season." - Those words of wisdom came from Erik Bakke as regards Leeds' defeat against Middlesbrough at the weekend. Considering other players said similar after heavy defeats against Everton and Leicester earlier in the season, it would appear that the squad are slow at learning lessons!

Wednesday 4th February 2004
"Singing come out upon my seas. Cursed missed opportunities. Am I a part of the cure. Or am I part of the disease." (Song)
Clocks - Coldplay: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Only one city in England have had at least one team in the top division for each season since the league began 116 years ago. Which City?
Liverpool: Correctly answered by Adrian Jobling & Matt Robbins

Congratulations to Middlesbrough for getting past Arsenal and reaching the final of the Carling Cup last night. Okay, this was not a first choice Gunners side and they were down to ten men for over half the game, however the likes of Cole, Vieira, Parlour, Edu, Cygan, Toure and Keown all started (even if the latter didn't finish!) as did new �17m Spanish wonderkid Reyes, who had a big impact in Boro's second goal! Many will focus on the below strength side put out by Arsenal, however it shouldn't detract from a fine performance by Boro who, over the two legs, thoroughly deserved their place in the final, even though yours truly is still rooting for Bolton! Whatever happens, the final - devoid from any of the so-called big, fashionable clubs - will be a throwback to the 80s when the likes of Watford, QPR, Oxford, Luton and Coventry all graced Wembley for major finals and that can only be good for football!

One of our papergirls came in this morning looking the worse for wear, so having asked her if she was feeling okay, she replied, "No, I feel dead!" Further enquiries got to the bottom of it! She's doing Child Development at school and, as part of the coursework, she has been given what she called a `robotic baby` which is one of these plastic dolls which simulates a real, new born baby, including crying and needing a `feed` at the most ridiculous times of the day...or usually the night! She went on to explain that she'd had about four hours sleep and whilst the object was obviously to give her (and others) an idea of how tough babies can be and hopefully cut down on teenage pregnancies, it could well have the opposite effect and put people off having kids completely! Cue a rapid drop in the population levels!!

Thursday 5th February 2004
"Take your baby by the hand and make her do a high handstand. Take your baby by the heel and do the next thing that you feel." (Song)

As regards league goals only, who was the highest scoring Englishman last season (02-03)?
James Beattie: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater and Matt Robbins

WOW!! That was the simple response when I asked one of our paperboys - a Man City fan - if he'd watched last night's game. Of course he had and deep down I probably realised that, however his reply summed up all the possible superlatives that could have been used. Amazing, astonishing, incredible, remarkable, unbelievable - all fully apt as regards one of the great comebacks in English football and FA Cup history. It's not so much that City were 3-0 down away from home at half time, but there was so much more working to the advantage of Spurs. City had Joey Barton sent off in a remarkable (sorry!) half time incident. City's leading scorer, Nik Anelka, had gone off injured with the score at 2-0 and, don't forget, we are talking about a Man City team low on confidence after winning just ONCE in EIGHTEEN previous games! By all logic, Spurs should have walked it after half time and ended up with a four or five goal margin, but it didn't happen. City's comeback - and lets please give credit for that rather than the Spurs team caving in - was totally illogical and unreal, yet it resulted in one of those halves which will be recalled in years to come in many a conversation, especially by those at the ground or, like me, lucky enough to watch it live on the box. A couple of people mentioned this morning that they'd missed it, or in one case gone on to bed at half time as it was `all over`, however both said that they'd watch the re-run later today, but whilst that will be enjoyable, there's nothing like watching the drama unfold `live` and that's what it was, pure uncut drama which the Roy Of The Rovers writers would not have dreamt up as it was too unlikely. One final word on City's goalkeeper - young debutant Arni Arason - while everyone will rightly talk about the attacking play in the second half of City, it shouldn't be forgotten that he made three stunning saves, especially two in quick succession from a Ziege free kick and Poyet's follow up which were equally vital in the overall display. Oh, and yes, I don't mind admitting that I leapt off the sofa when that winning goal went in! Nothing against Spurs, but it really was the traditional fairy tale ending.

Did you ever see that episode of One Foot In The Grave where Victor and his wife are enjoying a `quiet` meal in a local restaurant, only to be constantly interrupted by a chap on a nearby table who insists on talking to his companions at such a volume that the entire room can hear him? I was reminded of this yesterday when my wife and I had a quick bite to eat in a Wimpy. The chap on the next table was talking to his female partner loud enough for us to clear clearly enough and for it to get on our wicks! Despite the obvious age difference between the pair, we were under the impression that he was trying to impress his younger partner, possibly even on a date early in a potential relationship, as the conversation was very much in the mundane department, with topics including the weather, work and `I Used To Be A Celeb, Get Me Back On The Telly` or whatever it's called. By the time we left the cafe, we felt as though we'd known them for ages!

Friday 6th February 2004
"From the rooftops shout it out. It's a crack, I'm back yeah standing on the rooftops having it." (Song)

Aston Villa won the 1982 European Cup at the same stadium as Man United won the 1991 Cup Winners Cup. In which City?

I'll bet Man City fans are thrilled with Nik Anelka lately. A red card last week for his headshake with Ashley Cole and an injury in midweek during that remarkable win over Spurs. However, this all pales into insignificance after comments to the media released today which doesn't exactly paint City in a good light. Anelka states, "Of course, Manchester City are not Real or Arsenal but it is a step in my career I am ready to play for a great club again and I don't have a favourite.!" Now that's a comfort when your leading scorer openly admits that he is ready to move on, not to mention the `big club` remark which will hurt City fans even more as many consider their club to be just that already, although quite how you tell the defination of a `big club` is open to judgement. In truth, Anelka has many a habit of being outspoken throughout his career, so we really shouldn't be overly surprised at this latest statement, although whether it has helped or hinder his planned move elsewhere remains to be seen.

Apparently racing pigeons are more intelligent than experts thought - or less, depending how you look at things. In the past, these creatures have amazed mankind by seemingly being able to find their way back home from miles away without rarely a hitch and it was all down to their `homing` techniques, although I always wondered what happened if their owner moved house! Would they fly back to the old place? Anyway, scientists somewhere or other studies a group of pigeons via mini transmitters and discovered that some of them actually find their way from A to B by following roads! Now, whilst the logic is fine, there are many questions left unanswered. How do they tell the difference between one road and another, or can they actually tell the difference between the A36 and M4? How do they know which particular road to follow? Surely they aren't born with the pigeon equivilent of an AA Road Atlas inprinted into their brain? No, I find it all a little hard to swallow personally, I mean next they'll be telling us that they aren't really aiming their droppings on humans below - it's just pure co-incidence!

Saturday 7th February 2004
"I know I left too much mess and destruction to come back again." (Song)
White Flag - Dido: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

What league cup record does Frankie Bunn currently hold?
Most goals in a game (six - Oldham 7 Scarborough 0 - Oct 1989): Correctlu answered by Matt Robbins

Hear that noise? Listen carefully and you can pick up the sound of metal on wood. Yes, Aston Villa hammered another nail into the Leeds Premiership coffin today as we lost, unluckily apparently, 2-0 at Villa Park. The thing is that bad luck doesn't win you points and after seven defeats on the bounce, I am now 95% resigned to the fact that we'll be playing first division football next season. Of course, that remaining 5% will stay hoping against hope that until it's mathamatically impossible, there is still a chance, but realism overtakes optimism in these circumstances. There are two redeeming factors. Firstly, we're playing Wolves in midweek and a win could just be the start of a confidence boost (a defeat would be an additional nail) and secondly, all of the bottom four lost today and it is looking more and more likely that three from that four will go.

Aside from that, it was a truly astonishing day in the Prem with Spurs involved in another 4-3 game, this time a late goal went in their favour, as it did for Man United who won by the same scoreline at Everton after the home side pulled back to 3-3 after being three down at half time! Arsenal beat a club record and are now 24 games unbeaten from the start of the season and are closing in on the joint record of 29 held by Liverpool in 1988 and Leeds in 1974 (yes kids, we did used to be good!).

Quote Time! A couple of goodies from the Soccer Saturday brigade today. Gordon McQueen, having watched Man United destroy Everton in the first half, stated, three minutes into the second half, "United have had a poor start, they've only had two shots on goal since the restart!" Little did he know what was to come!! Later, Chris Kamara, watching the only goalless game of the day, said, "Both sides are settling for a draw, although Southampton and Fulham would really like to win this one!" Hmmm, takes a little working out!

Debut Day! Quite a day for some debutants in the Prem today as Jermain Defoe, Lomama Lua-Lua and a chap called Mornar, all netted on their debut in the Spurs-Pompey game, as did Blackburn's new striker Jonathon Stead from Huddersfield. Add to that list, Bobby Zamora who moved from Spurs as part of the Defoe move and promptly netted on his debut for West Ham at Bradford.

Double Trouble: Spare a thought for Wimbledon. Bottom of the first division and had goalkeeper Steve Baker sent off at home t league leaders Norwich today. Team mate Mark Williams promptly had a word (!!) with the ref and was also sent off, making two red cards for the same club within 30 seconds.

And Finally... Rememeber Roy Essendoh? He scored that late winner for Wycombe which knocked Leicester out of the FA Cup a couple of years back having been bought after boss Lawrie Sanchez used Teletext and the Internet to sign him. He's been firmly in the `Where is he now?` file for a while, however he scored today on his Conference debut for Gravesend at Exeter. Still, he's had his 15 minutes of fame.

Sunday 8th February 2004
"The tiny hairs on your arm, you know when they stand up? That's them. When they get mad... it gets cold." (Film)
The Sixth Sense: Correctly answered by Kirstymd

Brian Deane spent two seasons in Portugal playing for which club?
Benfica: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Well I guess after a midweek and weekend of sheer excitement, we were due something mundane to get us back down onto solid ground and that duly arrived today with a couple of games which, whilst not the worst I've ever seen, certainly wouldn't top anyone's `Great Matches` chart. Man City huffed and puffed but couldn't blow in the Birmingham house of bricks, whilst Chelsea needed a penalty to see off Charlton at Stamford Bridge, although in both games, the quality of goalkeeping helped keep the scoreline down. Birmingham's Maik Taylor made a couple of superb saves, including one from the Jim Montgomery (ask your Dad!) school of reactions, whilst Charlton's Dean Kiely owed his wonder save from Adrian Mutu more to luck than judgement, however he could have easily have stood there and watched the Romanian score, so credit to him. It's ironic that after three 4-3's in four days, we end the weekend with just one penalty in two matches, however the reason that I fell asleep during the second half of the Man City game was more due to having to work an extra three hours today than the quality of the football on show.

I missed the announcements of the line-ups for the Chelsea-Charlton game, but was a little surprised to see no Scott Parker for Chelsea against his old side, until they said in commentary that it was part of the contract that he wouldn't play in this game. Clearly feelings still run high over his decision to leave as even Martin Tyler and Andy Gray had a subtle dig during their commentary, although the fans that used to adore him were a little less subtle with a rendition of, "There's only one greedy ba**ard!" Indeed, the Charlton fans were in good form as they also teased Chelsea boss Claudio Ranieri with, "You're gonna get the sack in the summer!", ironically with Sven Goran Eriksson in the crowd! But, Ranieri, proving that some foreigners do have a sense of humour, turned around to them and replied, "No! It'll be in May!" Good on ya!

Monday 9th February 2004
"I remember when rock was young. Me and Suzie had so much fun. Holding hands and skimming stones." (Song)
Crocodile Rock - Elton John: Correctly answered by Adrian Jobling

During last season's (02-03) 1st division campaign, which club conceded SIX in individual games against Grimsby and Rotherham and SEVEN in individual matches against Watford and Sheff Wed?

I'm rapidly becoming a closet Chelsea fan! Now, before everyone goes into a state of panic, let me explain that I'm not deserting Leeds in the slightest, but my feeling is that I'd like to see Chelsea win something this season. My reasoning is that I feel boss Claudio Ranieri is under so much pressure to succeed with all the cash being splashed around that he deserves a break. Hardly a week goes by without Sven Goran Eriksson being linked with the job in the summer and, according to the media, he's likely to get it if no silverware is coming their way. People seem to forget that Ranieri was at the club long before Roman Abramovic and his millions came along and that should surely count for something. Either way, it would nice to see the critics silenced and Ranieri keep his job. After all, 3rd in the league, 5th round of the FA Cup and still in the Champions League is the sort of situation that many of us would love to be in!

I guess we've all done it, woken up in a totally dozy state and said things that make no sense whatsoever as our tongue and brain struggles to catch up with the eyes. With "I'm a has-been, get me on the telly," becoming compulsive bedtime viewing for my wife (last day today!), I've been going up to bed at around the time that it finishes, however last night I noticed that our daughter had fallen asleep in our bed - and, more to the point on my side! She's too heavy to carry her now so I gently woke her up and told her that it was time to go to her room and was met with a resounding, "What?" I repeated it and then came a half-asleep, "Why?" Beginning to feel extremely guilty, but not wanting to swap beds for the night and be surrounded by cuddly Panda's and Gizmo's (C'mon, remember Gremlins?), I repeated it and as she struggled to get her eyes open, again we had the, "What?" and "Why?" routine before she finally battled out of bed and along the landing, skillfully avoiding both dogs at the same time. She was probably back asleep within seconds...unlike me who spent the next hour trying to sleep whilst shrugging off that awful guilty feeling!

Tuesday 10th February 2004
"Tropical the island breeze, all of nature wild and free, this is where I long to be." (Song)
La Isla Bonita - Madonna: Correctly answered by Jinder Singh

Which World Cup winner was manager of Exeter City for three years in the 1990s?

Remember my comments from a week ago? Well neither did I actually until I read back whilst looking for a quiz answer! Anyway, to remind you, I stated the following as regards Spurs.... They are in danger (if that's the right word!) of becoming the 2004 equivalent of Newcastle in the mid 90s and their `they score three, we score four` mentality with the likes of Kanoute, Keane, Postiga and now Defoe trying to counteract the deficiencies at the back. Mind you, it might make them worth watching for a change! Well, since then, they have remarkably been involved in TWO 4-3 matches, one win and that famous defeat at the hands of Man City, making yours truly some kind of master predictor (yeah right!). However, the last two games have proved the point that I tried to make perfectly, in so much that at the back and in midfield, they struggle to take any kind of command, yet up front, they are as potent as any club outside of the top three - indeed it could be argued that they aren't far behind those either! With a new boss on his way in the summer, Spurs could well be a force to be reckoned with, if he twigs where the problems lie, which makes the reasoning to keep his name quiet for now all the more baffling. Surely he needs to see as much of his inherited club as possible before the summer dealings take place, rather than rely on the word of others and videotape. So with that in mind, expect two more quality strikers to join Spurs this coming summer!

As I've said before, my wife and I spend an hour at our daughter's school every fortnight in a group called Share, which gives parents the chances to see what things their kids will be taught in the near future and, more to the point, to give us a chance to try it as well. Most recently, we had a maths class which tried to make learning fun for the children by doing little games which, whilst simple in execution, weren't quite as straight-forward when it came to do it. The one which stood out as appearing to be easy, but actually was quite tricky, was called, "Four Threes To Ten." Using the four basic mathamatical functions (add, subtract, multiply and divide) you need to use the number three on four occasions to find a sum which results in every number between zero and ten! For example - to get the answer SIX:
3 + 3 + 3 - 3 = 6
The number 3 is used on four occassions in the sum - no more and no less! No other number is allowed to be used and you can only add, subtract, multiply and divide. Each number from 1 to 10 can be done, so give it a go if you have children or even if you don't. You may find it harder than you'd think!
However, if you want to cheat, here are our answers, although bear in mind that there are more than one way to do some of these.

Wednesday 11th February 2004
"One dream one soul one prize one goal. One golden glance of what should be." (Song)
A Kind Of Magic - Queen: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Who were the opponents when James Milner became the youngest ever Prem goalscorer last season?

Yes, it finally happened! Rarer than an appearance by Halley's Comet, Leeds actually won a game last night! However, `won` hardly seems to do the 4-1 scoreline against Wolves any justice, although in truth I'd have settled for a last minute winner deflected in off the referee. The added bonus was that it lifted us off the bottom on goal difference, which not hugely significant as regards the threat of relegation, it's a massive pschological boost to the players, who should have had their confidence increased ten-fold after that. Watching from home via Teletext and goal-flashes on Sky, Alan Smith's opener was greeted by yours truly with a scream of delight and a bounce around the living room like some kind of demented firework! The equaliser soon brought me back to reality though and I must admit that I feared the worst, however for a change my concerns were unfounded as the rest of the evening panned out perfectly apart from Leicester earning a point against Bolton. So, it's onto Old Trafford for our next game, followed a week later by the return to Elland Road of a certain Harry Kewell. No-one, including many Leeds fans, will expect much from the Man United game, however it would be poetic justice to get something from Liverpool, courtesy of a last minute sliced own goal from Kewell....or maybe that's pushing credibility a tad too far!

If, come May, Leicester are relegation by a narrow margin - one point or even goal difference - I wonder how many fans will point towards Ian Walker's monumental cock up last night which ultimately cost them two points against Bolton. Walker's remarkable own goal caught everyone out - the cameraman, Kevin Davies, whose original prod at the ball caused the keeper to grab it, lose it, and then paw it between his own legs and into the net - and it will doubtless haunt him for ever and a day, however the main talking point last night seemed to be the Bolton tactic regarding the new clarifying (and I use that word VERY loosely!) of the offside rule. They place one or two players in a clear offside position before each free kick into the area and, as the ball is kicked, the players run out to the edge of the area as everyone else funnels back, putting them ONSIDE if the ball then falls to them via a flick on or rebound. All legal and above board, but ultimately deeper unfair if one of the players eventually scores, as Kevin Nolan almost did on one occasion. We can harp on about `stages of play` and `interfering with play`, but ultimately, as was said in commentary, the rules haven't actually changed, but the latest FIFA mandate to try and clarify matters has done nothing but make already cloudy waters even more murky! I mean, what's stopping a player from `goal-hanging` all game and then as long as he gets himself onside to receive the ball when his side attacks, even if he's offside in the build up, he is then free to score! Who'd be a referee eh?

Today is our daughter's tenth birthday which always gets you looking back and wonder where the hell the time has gone! Ten years ago I had a phone call one evening to get down the hospital and having stayed awake most of the night with my wife, the little bundle of joy finally made an appearance. Three hours later I fell asleep on the bus ride home (this was before we owned a car!), almost missing my stop and since then, things have changed rapidly. We've gone from Postman Pat to Atomic Kitten via Teletubbies and from Fun To Learn ABC to Goosebumps and Horrible Histories, with a helping of Enid Blyton mixed in. Nicknames have ranged from Squirt to Sausage with a few unprintable ones during those early sleepless nights and there's been a healthy mixture of tears and laughter along the way, but like most lucky enough to be in our position, we wouldn't change a thing! Happy Birthday kiddo!

Thursday 12th February 2004
"Walked in the cold air, freezing breath on a window pane, lying and waiting." (Song)

In April and May 1998, which goalkeeper went 14 hours without conceding a goal and then let in four in one game which his club still won on penalties?
Sasa Ilic - Charlton: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Have Man United blown the title? It's possible after last night's game and should they lose out come May, there's no doubt that the home defeat against Middlesbrough will be a key moment in the race, however the warnings have been there after narrow wins against Southampton and Everton and they simply weren't heeded. Yet another headed goal - well two actually but I'm thinking more of the second one - and this from one of the Premiership's smallest players! It could be blame on the Ferdinand factor or the inexperience of Wes Brown and John O'Shea, but every club could make excuses for every defeat and it would get nowhere unless actions are taken to resolve the crux of the problem. Add to the complicated equation the fact that behind the scenes John Magnier and his mate have increased their stake in the club to marginally under 29%, then you get the impression that the Old Trafford volcano is beginning to bubble and an eruption isn't too far away. The question is, when and where will the eruption come from and who will be caught in the flow?

A work collegue of mine celebrated an important birthday just after Christmas (I won't say her age but her bus pass is now active!) and, as she told me today, she was given a decent sized gift voucher by a friend to be spent at a local health and beauty clinic. Now, as she's been on holiday in Portugal for a month, a session on the tanning bed is not needed, so she was at a loss as to what to spend it on, even after getting a price and service list from the salon. As she said, somewhat modestly, she doesn't need any improvements done to the facial area, so she began looking at the massage section which was also what caught my eye! Now, don't worry, you don't need to send the kids out of the room, however two of them were particularly interesting, notably a `Hot Stones Massage` and `Pino Ear Candles`. Now, I'm no expert and I certainly wouldn't want to pour scorn on these, however to me, they both sound like something from a Middle Ages torture chamber rather than something to be enjoyed! Maybe she'll pass on the Hot Stones and just content herself with having her ears singed instead!

Due to circumstances beyond my control, the diary is taking a break for the weekend. It'll return on Monday or Tuesday with thoughts on a busy weekend of FA Cup football.

Tuesday 17th February 2004
"I eat breakfast 300 yards from 4000 Cubans who are trained to kill me, so don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a badge, and make me nervous." (Film)
A Few Good Men: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

Which Prem club are the only side in history to score AND concede 100 league goals in the same season (it happened in 1957-58)?
Man City: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

After a hectic weekend by the sea (more of that later!), I've just got around to seeing the weekend's FA Cup action, thanks largely to Sky's Monday round up programme and to me forgetting to set the video for the normal stuff before going away. Overall, it was quite an enjoyable couple of days of football, much of which confirmed what we already knew and suspected. Firstly, positive proof that Gary Neville is a hot headed little sod who finally got his come-uppance. Even the most ardent and blinkered Man United fan would be hard pushed to defend his head butt on Steve McManaman for which he was rightly sent off and, so I read, now gets a four match ban! Whilst his red card didnt hurt the MU cause on Saturday, the subsequent ban might. Secondly, whilst we know that, on his day, Emile Heskey can be a formidable opponent, all too often the opposite is the case as proved with his awful miss against Portsmouth on n Sunday. Had that hit the net it would have been 2-0 and probably all over. As it is, Liverpool need a replay. Finally, after an embarrasing debut when his own goal won the game for Middlesbrough, Arsenal's new �17m star Jose Antonio Reyes looks like a genuine star in the making. Two goals to produce a fine comeback against Chelsea on Sunday, including one which would have graced any stadium. It's a little early to make rash judgements, but even at that inflated price, it could yet be money well spent.

After plans to do some DIY fell by the wayside, we spent the weekend at Weymouth in a nice Bed & Breakfast along with my mother, her Arsenal supporting hubby and a friend of our daughter's for company. Weather wise we were very lucky as we had no rain, only a little wind and the temps were certainly not cold for the time of the year. Packed into two days were a trip to the cinema to see the new live action version of Peter Pan which was actually pretty good and even made us jump on a couple of occasions. Plenty of time was spent on the beach where making sandcastles was certainly the forte of the Arsenal fan, whilst we all had a play with the frizbee and a game of football! Yours truly attempted to relive his youth with a display of long since forgotten skills and ended up flat on his face when my daughter tackled me! All told though it was a great relaxer with a little messing around mixed in, including me wearing a floral toilet roll holder around my head (don't ask!) which my daughter insisted had to go on site having caught me with the digicam!!

On the way, we took the kids to see the Cerne Abbas Giant (left) which is a huge chalk carving into the hillside of ancient man. He's around 180 feet high and, as you can see, his erm....bits are prominent! However, out of the mouths of babes comes blunt observation and, as our daughter's friend pointed out, they looked like a giant mushroom!!

Finally, a word of warning. The evening before we left, we asked the kids to do a compilation tape of their favourite music which we could then play in the car if the radio turned crap. Originally the sister of the friend let her borrow the latest Busted album, which I'm glad to say never saw the light of day, however their own compilation was arguably the most varied ever made! Ranging from Atomic Kitten to S Club 8, it included pop, Christmas (yes, in February!) and even biblical with a version of, "Go Tell It On The Mountain." which has now become firmly stuck in my head and point-blank refuses to go!

Wednesday 18th February 2004
"Bullets for your brain today, but we'll forget it all again. Monuments put from pen to paper, turns me into a gutless wonder." (Song)

In the 80s and 90s Bristol Rovers shared the stadium of which non-league club?

It's international football week again and, as per usual, I have trouble getting overly interested in a game which will effectively see two different line ups in each half as regards England. Okay, so it gives some of the less experienced chaps a runout, although it could be argued that in the squad, there are very few, if any, who've not already made a mark at international level. How about Chris Sutton or Alan Thompson from Celtic? Scott Parker has had a decent start with Chelsea, yet is not even in the squad! Aren't these the sort of player who could be used in friendlies such as these? Ultimately, the result will count for little in Portugal tonight. If they win, they'll suddenly be hoisted up as favourites for Euro 2004 having beaten the hosts, whereas if they lose, it will be called a useful exercise ahead of the tournament. However, in my opinion, the biggest mistake being made by England is agreeing to the customary (in Portugal) kick off time of 9:15pm GMT. With matches in Euro 2004 kicking off at 5pm and 7:45pm when it will be infinitely warmer, surely a little taste of what's ahead would have been good preparation?

Before last weekend, I'd never heard of a card game called Uno before, although maybe I just live a sheltered lifestyle? However, wife and daughter had both played it at a friends' house and decided to buy Uno Extreme when they spotted it at a toyshop whilst away. I'm told that the normal and extreme versions are almost the same, however the latter has a couple of extra cards and a battery operated machine which fires out a random number of cards if you cannot go on your turn - the maximum we've had in one `fire` is NINE and considering you only start with seven, it's a big haul! It's a remarkable addictive game which relies on screwing up your opponents just when they think they've almost won, with one particular card enabling you to change your cards with any other player - no fun when you have one card and they have fourteen! Since yesterday, we've got through four games so far with both wife and daughter winning two each and yours truly still struggling. This has cost me a pound (in money) worth of sweets, double the amount in cash, the making of tea last night and the making of dinner today, with ironically our daughter winning both cash orientated games! My time will come....!

Thursday 19th February 2004
"I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is are you happy with your haircut." (Film)

Last season (02-03) when Arsenal scored in 55 successive league games, whose 70 year old record did they beat?

Well, now it's official! It was all a false dawn for us Scots fans, a fact which was wholly confirmed in Cardiff last night. Reaching the Euro 2004 play offs and then beating Holland in the first leg gave us all hope, however the six-goal demolition in the return brought us back to reality, as did Wales beating us 4-0 last night - and an understrength Wales team at that! In retrospect, it's just as well that we didnt fluke a result against the Dutch and reach the finals as we could have ended up as the whipping boys and gone home as a laughing stock - again! Indeed the only good point to come out of the game is perhaps that things aren't quite as bright as we thought they were.

As for England, they had a decent result in Portugal with a 1-1 draw having taken the lead just after half time. As per usual, the rash of subs ruined the flow of the game as nine changes were made by Eriksson, although it should be mentioned that one of them was due to an injury to Ashley Cole. Hopefully from their point of view, lessons will have been learned and mistakes rectified ahead of Euro 2004, although there are always mouth-watering encounters against Japan and Iceland to look forward to before that. Oh, and someone should mention to Mr Eriksson that unlimited subs are not allowed during the finals themselves!

Coupled with the injury to Cole, another Arsenal player, Gilberto Silva, was also crocked during Ireland's impressive draw against Brazil. Gunners boss Arsene Wenger must be furious this morning after effectively losing two first choice players whilst on international duty - and they wonder why Mark Viduks is reluctant to travel to South America to represent Australia! That aside, it was a terrific result for the Irish who fully held their own against a strong Brazil side and had the chances to record a famous victory. A final mention to Roque Junior who confirmed what most Leeds fans already knew - you don't have to be a decent player to win a World Cup medal. A mediocre player in a good team can also do it.

And finally to Northern Ireland who began their reign under Lawrie Sanchez with a 4-1 home defeat against Norway. But yes, your eyes do not deceive you!! After over 21 hours of football, covering more than two years, Ireland finally managed to score a goal! David Healy's header in the 56th minute found the far corner after a massive 1,298 minutes of play since the last goal! True to form, they couldn't enjoy it for long as Norway scored their fourth within a minute, although the excitement was clearly too much for Keith Gillespie who, having seen the delight after Healy scored, put the ball into his own net!

Friday 20th February 2004
"Ipso facto. Using up your oxygen, you know I'm shallow. Calling out for extra help. You've got to let me in or let me out ." (Song)
Something To Talk About - Badly Drawn Boy: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Who were the last team from outside of the top two divisions to reach the FA Cup Semi Finals?
Wycombe (2001): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Like or loathe him, you can't help but admire Roy Keane. His talent on the pitch needs absolutely no introduction, however his way with words off the field is becoming legendary. In recent weeks he's blasted the Man United defence and the youngsters at the club for not giving enough effort, whilst this week he's hinted at a return to the Ireland side - cleverly leaving the decision firmly in the hands of new boss Brian Kerr - and today he's written off United's title hopes, stating that he didn't believe Arsenal would blow it as they did last season. Not only does this take the pressure off his club a little, it also gees them up to prove him wrong. It's a clever move from Keane, especially when you consider this possibility for tomorrow's games: United should win at home to Leeds, whilst Arsenal could easily slip up at Chelsea and, if this happens, we are left with Arsenal on 61, United on 59 and Chelsea on 58 - hardly done and dusted is it? Consider also that United still have to play Arsenal, albeit at Highbury, then Keane is doing nothing else than play clever mind games. Now, I wonder where he got that tact from?

It came as no surprise to me that the Australian FA chose to invoke the 5-day rule to bar Mark Viduka from playing for Leeds at Man United tomorrow. The fact that Viduka had recently spent time away at his sick father's bedside and was not fully fit cut little ice, even for playing in a meaningless friendly half way around the world. Instead, they believe that either player or club somehow pulled the wool over their eyes and concocted the entire episode and, if he cannot play for country, he cannot play for club. Petty - yes, unexpected - no! The AFA and Leeds have not seen eye to eye for ages, especially during the time that Harry Kewell was at Elland Road and this is just another chapter in the ongoing battle between club and country. Leeds are taking legal action to try and reverse the decision, but I reckon it's a waste of time and effort as, once again, country gets their own way. One final though though. Sol Campbell and Steven Gerrard pulled out of England's game this week so it'll be interesting to see if either play for the clubs this weekend and, if they did, why did England not evoke the same ruling? Call me cynical, but maybe the English FA have a better understanding of common sense than those Down Under.

Saturday 21st February 2004
"There is nothing fair in this world. There is nothing safe in this world and there's nothing sure in this world. And there's nothing pure in this world." (Song)

Which current Leeds defender once played against Man United at Old Trafford as a goalkeeper for more than half the game?
Lucas Radebe: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Due to a family wedding and reception lasting the entire afternoon (more of which later), I missed all the football, televised and otherwise and only saw the final scores, or to be more precise, heard them on the radio driving back. With Leeds kicking off at Man United early, my worst fears were confirmed when I heard that we were back on the bottom, however dispair turned to delight when I discovered the details. Wolves victory over Fulham obviously didn't help us, however coming from behind at Old Trafford to draw 1-1 was a stunningly good result for us and took a distinct edge off of bottom spot, especially as now we are within touching distance of safety. You see, with Leeds having not won at Old Trafford in 23 years and only managed a draw on rare occasions, it's one of those fixtures that I look at and think, "No Points!" With that in mind, today's result is a massive bonus and done without the likes of Viduka and Robinson in the side as well. For all my forewarnings yesterdays, Arsenal's win at Chelsea only increases the gap at the top, maybe even irreparably, and it means that the Gunners can actually afford to lose at home to United in a month and STILL have breathing space. Of course, by then there will probably have been even more twists and turns, but as Leeds have helped Man United win the title on two recent occasions with wins over Arsenal, then this weekend we may just have done the opposite!

It's `Spare A Thought` Time: Today's winner is Blackburn keeper Brad Friedel who, having conceded two first half goals at Charlton, saw his club pull one back late on and then win a corner as stoppage time drew near. As happens, the keeper went up and duly turned in an equaliser to the delight of the Rovers fans and players and you could almost see the back page headlines already! But....deep into added on time, up stepped Claus Jensen with a winner for Charlton to wipe out Friedel's good work! Tough luck or what?

As I mentioned, we spent the afternoon at a family wedding as my Uncle got hitched for the third time. He, and a few others there, is a Man United fan and I dreaded hearing the final score, especially as it was a lunchtime kick off. Thanks to the drive from church to reception, we did hear that it was goalless after half an hour, however with the reception in full swing, the final score was unknown to all, which in truth suited me at the time. Just after 3pm, my Uncle came over and held up four fingers and told me, 4-0. I replied, "To who?" however deep down I knew that we'd been hammered. Now, in all honesty, had someone told YOU that the final score was 4-0, you'd probably have believed them....and so did I until a few minutes later when he came back to confess that he had no idea how the game ended and if I found out, to let him know!! Cruel eh!! Justice was done though when I found out the GENUINE result! I only wish I'd heard it at the reception itself! That aside, a good afternoon was had by all and we all wish Joy and John all the best in their new life together.

Sunday 22nd February 2004
"Try to make end meet, try to make some money then you die." (Song)
Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

When England beat San Marino 6-0 in 1993, the England keeper only touched the ball SIX times, all from back passes. Who was he?

After the afternoon of football that I've just sat through, it's very hard to know where to start, so the beginning sounds as good a place as any....

A noon kick off for the second city derby and as a neutral I was thoroughly looking forward to the game, partly as I love local derbies anyway and partly as these two tend to hate each other as much as cats and dogs! To be fair to both clubs, the fireworks never arrived as regards bookable offences, however the excitement factor grew to an ever increasing finale as regards genuine football. Villa dominated the first half and when they went two ahead just after half time, it was totally deserved. Now, I don't know about others, but I tend to `adopt` a club whilst watching a game and the choice is for any number of reasons. Maybe a bad refereeing decision went against a certain side or perhaps an incident in the game has made me turn against a club. In today's case, the underdogs factor took over and once Birmingham pulled a goal back, I was willing them on to equalise - not that I have anything against Villa in the slightest. When it happened, 30 seconds from the end, I'll admit that I leapt up off the chair, frightening the life out of Biscuit who was asleep in front of the fire! Cracking game, great atmosphere and a wonderful advert for English football.

It's rare to get three games back-to-back on the box, and when it happens, you expect a lull in matters somewhere. That occured for the entirety of the first half between Portsmouth and Liverpool which was due to start as the above game ended and would have done had crowd congestion not forced a 15 minute delay. The first half was instantly forgetable in truth and I'm sure I dropped off on at least one occasion. The second half was much better and notable for two remarkable penalty awards to Liverpool, neither of which were penalties! The first - given for handball - was eventually rescinded when the referee consulted his assistant and was told that Milan Baros was the player who handled! The second, also involving Baros, was given for an absolutely textbook tackle by Matt Taylor who won the ball brilliantly only to be penalised! Despite heated protests, the kick stood this time and, as my fury grew (beginning to root for Pompey now!!), the bloody phone rang! It was my wife to arrange a time to collect her and our daughter from our friends house later in the afternoon! My haste to agree to everything in a vain attempt to see the penalty taken was clearly noticed as she kept me on the phone longer than usual ("Can you bring a certain book up if you can find where it is?"). Ultimately I missed Michael Owen's dreadful kick which was easily saved! The winner, from Richard Hughes, was superbly struck and again had me off the chair! Thankfully Biscuit was already awake this time, although he did still give me a few strange glances. I spent the final ten minutes watching the game stood up as I needed to use the loo but didnt want to miss any more of the action!! Equally, I didnt want a Liverpool equaliser as it would have meant extra time and (a) I'd arranged for the wife/daughter collection to be at the final whistle (normal time) and (b) it would have meant missing the start of Spurs-Leicester! Brilliant result for Pompey though and they face Arsenal in the next round (Did I mention that this was an FA Cup replay??)

And so onto the aforementioned Spurs-Leicester game...now where the hell do I start with this one??? I missed the first 25 minutes or so due to the wife/daughter collection and got home in time to see Spurs make it 3-1. Now, my early February prediction that Spurs were to become the `Keegan's Newcastle` of the current age has come dramatically true, even more so that I'd expected, however few would have bet on a 4-4 draw at half time in this one, especially after Leicester were unluckily down to ten men. It was the Man City game re-written for a wonderful climax to Sunday afternoon, only this time there was a bitter-sweet ending with the last ditch Spurs equaliser. So, who did I `support` during the game? By rights, I should have been cheering each and every Spurs goal due to the position that Leicester find themselves in the table - i.e. just above Leeds! However, since school when my best friend was a Spurs fan, I've found it hard to `support` them in any shape or form and early in the second half, the underdog factor came to the forefront and I found myself thoroughly enjoying the Leicester recovery, aided and abeted by some unbelievably poor defending from Spurs! Indeed, when Defoe scored to make it 4-4, I'm sure I uttered something along the lines of "Oh no!". By this time I was upstairs watching on the portable in the bedroom which if nothing else make Biscuit feel somewhat more relaxed! Ultimately, Andy Gray summed it up after Leicester went 4-3 up when he stated that the Spurs performance was, "Unforgivable!" Yeah, but what an incredible afternoon eh! When the football haters smile smugly at me and say that they can't understand what I see in the game, it's afternoon's like this which is enough to restore any flagging faith that I may have. They can stick to Coro Street and Neighbours, I'll stick with reality which is often more unreal than the scripted material!

Monday 23rd February 2004
"We the people fight for our existence. We don't claim to be perfect but we're free." (Song)
Little by Little - Oasis: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Alan Shearer's last England goal came against which nation?
Romania (Final game of Euro 2000): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

"I am sick of talking about something I will not change my mind about. I don't want to talk about this subject again. In fact, I won't. This is my final word - I have retired from international football, full stop." These are the words of Alan Shearer over the weekend about yet more speculation that he'll return to play for England and I must admit that if I (and many others) are fed up with this ongoing saga everytime a match comes up, then he must be totally and utterly pig sick of it! It never ceases to amaze me why the media insist on dragging this up time and time again - after all, they don't do it with Andy Cole who's in exactly the same situation - although maybe that says a lot in itself! Shearer is 34 this year and wants to concentrate on club football and his family, as he's wanted to do since the summer of 2000, so hopefully this time will, as he says, be the last that he has to rebuff various comments said about his apparent impending return.

The Champions League kicks off again this week after it's winter break and for many traditionalists like me, it's a return to the good old days of the European Cup and straight, two-legged, knock out football. I can understand the reasoning behind the first group phases as they need a certain amount of consistancy over six games to keep you in the competetion, but I always felt that the second group phase was one too many and now that's been scrapped and an extra knock out round introduced, then I hope that UEFA have found the right balance. For sheer excitement, there's little to match knock out football when one piece of brilliance can win the game or one piece of Spurs-like defending can blow it and I hope that the clubs involved will not hoist ten men behind the ball for 90 minutes of the away leg and then hope to snatch a victory at home. As for the English clubs left in, Arsenal, Chelsea and Man United are all away first which is usually an advantage. Wouldnt it be a massive boost to see all three through to the last eight.

Finally, with the sad death of Leeds, Wales and Juventus legend John Charles over the weekend, it's worth mentioning that the Man United fans behaved absolutely perfectly during the one minute silence before the game at Old Trafford at the weekend, which considering the way a section of Leeds fans treated the same respect for Sir Matt Busby ten years ago, should be commended. Sadly, the same can't be said for some Sunderland fans who ruined the silence at Cardiff which considering the recent death of their own legend, Bob Stokoe, makes it all the more sickening.

Tuesday 24th February 2004
"Actually we're all from Mars around here, we keep our spaceship out back. So, what planet are you from?" (Film)

Which English club have won the European Cup MORE times than their domestic league title?
Nottm Forest: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

I was chatting to a Spurs fan at work earlier - the first time I'd seen him since Sunday's game - and whilst listening to his comments, most of which were naturally enough critical, something struck me that hadn't occured before. Since the goal glut began four games ago with `that` FA Cup clash, who have Spurs actually played. Man City - without a win in the league since early November (until this weekend) and they then came from three goals down with ten men to win. Charlton - not the same since Scott Parker left and, by all accounts, a little unlucky to lose against Spurs. Leicester and Portsmouth - relegation fodder, yet they managed to score seven goals away from home between them against Spurs. My point is that Spurs haven't really played anyone with genuine clout yet! What about when they take on either of the title contenders? Equally they still have Newcastle and Chelsea to face this season! Cracking open the defence of the bottom club is all well and good if you can somehow score more than you concede, but up against a stronger back line and, heaven forbid, a stronger forward line, Spurs could be on the wrong end of an absolute hiding!

Lent starts tomorrow and is the traditional six-week period when we are supposed to give up something that we like or enjoy. My wife and daughter have both decided to give us drinking Coca-Cola (and any of it's varients - Pepsi etc) which is quite a sacrifice as they do get through a sizeable amount. I have done the same, although in truth I only drink Pepsi or Coke at work ironically enough, so I have also decided to scrap....chocolate! Needless to say, my wife and daughter didn't follow suit which is a little disappointing, however this will be the FIFTH year on the bounce that Mars and Cadbury's profits have been reduced by my abstaining, and I'm determined to stick with it, as I've done in previous years. So, from tomorrow, it's goodbye to the Bounty at 5am at work and the mid-morning Snickers. Out goes the choccy digestives whilst watching the football and the Twix after tea! Also gone are Jaffa Cakes which I really fancied when I saw the box in the fridge on Sunday whilst deciding what to have for lunch, so I made a mental note to have a few during the football marathon, only to discover that my daughter had eaten them and put the empty box back in the fridge!

Wednesday 25th February 2004
"You'd better hope and pray that you'll be safe in your own world. You'd better hope and pray that you're gonna awake back in your own world." (Song)

When Robbie Fowler scored his five minute hat trick for Liverpool against Arsenal in 1994, who was the Gunners keeper?

I guess it's a future quiz question: Who did Edu score three goals in one game, none of which were own goals, yet didn't score a hat trick? Of course, Arsenal's Edu netted twice against Celta Vigo last night whilst his namesake scored once for the Spanish side in the Gunners 3-2 win. It's a superb result for Arsenal and gives them one foot in the last eight, although slightly worrying would be the apparent vulnerability in the air at the back, almost similar to Man United in recent weeks. Going forward their were their usual clinical self with two superb goals from Edu (his second) and Robert Pires, although Thierry Henry did miss a sitter and seemed to be intent on getting himself booked, a feat which he ultimately succeeded. If there was a defining moment in the game, it had to be 30 seconds into the second half when Mostivoi thumped a header against the bar. Had that had gone in, Celta would have been 2-1 up and it's anyone's guess how each side would have reacted. However, fact is that Arsenal did the business and, barring a defensive display to rival their North London counterparts, they should make it into the quarter finals.

As much as I love and enjoy the excitement of knock out football, there's always the fear with two legged games that the first leg will be a landslide win for someone, making the second leg almost irrelevant. Thankfully this didn't happen with any of the other three games last night with two ending in a draw and Lokomotiv Moscow beating Monaco to take a narrow 2-1 lead to France. All four second legs, to be played on the Wednesday in a fortnight, should therefore be the way that the fans like and the organisers hoped.

Although I watched the Arsenal game last night, I did switch over occasionally to see bits of the Bayern Munich v Real Madrid clash and was lucky enough to see the Roberto Carlos equaliser for Madrid, not so much for the goal and subsequent howler from home keeper Oliver Kahn, but more to hear one of the quotes of the season from co-commentator David Pleat, who is of course the acting Spurs boss. Whilst watching a replay of Kahn's clanger, he said, "You not see a more glaring mistake all season." and then, after a moment's thought, "Unless you happen to support a particular team of course!"

Whilst we can rave about Arsenal's performance in Spain, display of the night came in...Bournemouth! Already leading 3-0 against Wrexham, sub James Hayter came on in the 84th minute and netted a hat-trick inside two minutes and twenty seconds - a record for English league football! Hayter just missed out on the world record, held by an Eduardo Maglioni who netted three for Independiente against Gimnasia in 1973 in one minute and fifty seconds! It's been quite a week for Hayter. He missed the weekend match against Brighton as his wife was giving birth!

Thursday 26th February 2004
"How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out of work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car." (Film)

As regards FA Cup Finals, what do Wimbledon, Ipswich, Bradford and Coventry all have in common?
They've all won the only final they've appeared in: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Sir Alex Ferguson has said it often enough and I'm beginning to think he's right. His players do have a habit of making things more difficult for themselves than they need to. Take last night away at Porto. A goal up early on (which I missed due to my wife watching a film on another Sky channel!) and seemingly coasting until a goal in each half from Benny McCarthy turned the game completely around. However, that aside, United should be able to put matters right at Old Trafford in a fortnight, although they'll be doing it without Roy Keane, sent off for stamping on the keeper. Keane will be missed, as he will in the potential quarter-finals as well and whilst it was hardly the most vicious of incidents, there was enough downward thrust from the Irishman to suggest intent of some kind and the red card was justified in my eyes, although it's one of those incidents that if it happens against your club, you expect a sending off, but if one of your players does it, a yellow seems more relevant! Finally, back to Fergie and his complaints that the Porto players were play-acting and feigning injury. He may well be right, but he makes it sound like something we've never seen before! Fergie's European experience should tell him almost to expect that sort of behaviour!

Well, my outside tip for the FA Cup lasted until a fifth round replay, so I apologise in advance for anyone who foolishly took my advice and put money on Birmingham to have a good cup run. Few would have predicted their extra-time defeat at home to Sunderland last night, although it does set up a strange set of quarter-finals with two-all Prem games alongside two encounters between clubs outside the top flight. Birmingham's defeat emphasises once again how football can lift you up and then clobber you back down again like a baseball bat to the head. On Sunday, their late comeback against local rivals Aston Villa had the Blues fans delirious, yet elimination from the FA Cup last night is the other end of the scale. Funny old game eh.

Friday 27th February 2004
"All you got is this moment. The twenty-first century's yesterday." (Song)

During the 1990's, only one player scored 30 or more top flight league goals in three succesive seasons. Who?

As much as I enjoy Sky TV and satelite TV in general, the sole irratation comes when programmes clash on different channels. This happened yesterday evening when, having watched the first half of the Liverpool v Levski Sofia game on Channel 5 (which we cannot pick up on terrestial tv), I had to then choose between watching the second half or plumping for episode three of `24` on Sky One. Having struggled to stay awake during the opening 45 minutes from Anfield, I went for the latter and subsequent missed both Liverpool goals. Having not seen either of the first two series of `24`, I am finding the third series a lot easier to get into than I expected and am thoroughly enjoying it to the point of wanting to watch series one and two, although the cheapest DVD versions I've seen are �30 each at the moment. Speaking of prices, Sky's answer to my above dilemma is Sky Plus which allows you to tape one channel whilst watching another, among other things I should add, however at almost �200 plus �50 installation PLUS monthly fee, it's a high price to pay in my opinion. Re-think your pricing chaps and I'll re-think my subscription.

We had quite a heavy fall of snow last night, which whilst nothing compared to Scotland, Canada or the Arctic regions, still brought half the nation to a standstill. For various reasons, we ended up with six paper rounds to get cover with yours truly walking around four of them! As usual, the extreme weather brings out the best, and occasionally the worst, in people, with many I spoke to thrilled to even get a paper (albeit a lot later than usual!) and a few not even expecting a delivery in the first place. Of course, there always has to be one whose outlook doesn't go beyond their own household and one person came out to have a moan that a magazine she'd ordered yesterday hadn't arrived yet! Despite my feet being colder than a freezer, I kept calm and said we'd sort it out! Best sight though was a middle-aged lady, clearly making the most of being on her own with hubby at work and kids at school. She was happily sledging down a slope in her garden and obviously enjoying the brief return to her youth!

Saturday 28th February 2004
"Well why don't you go upstairs and book a conference room. Maybe you can talk him to death." (Film)

Christophe Dugarry spent one season in the 90s at which Serie A club?

I wonder how much the bookies lost today at around 15:14 when, at Loftus Road, the first goal went in between Fulham and Man United? I would imagine that a few people had a bet on Louis Saha returning to the club he left six weeks ago and netting against his former employees and it's really remarkable how often this happens. Robbie Keane always seems to score against us for example and it's a little worrying that Harry Kewell is set to return to Elland Road tomorrow with Liverpool, so a few quid on him maybe a decent gamble. However, in the wider scheme of things, Saha's goal was little more than a soon to be forgotten stat as Fulham battled back for a draw, whilst a few miles north-east, Arsenal were also made to battle despite a two goal lead after four minutes, as they beat Charlton 2-1. Along with Chelsea's narrow, and lucky, win at Man City, it all makes woeful reading for United who are now third on goal difference - a massive NINE points behind still unbeaten Arsenal! More and more it looks like the title is on it's way back to Highbury. At the other end, a vital game for Leeds between the two clubs in the bottom three with us and it ended as well as we could have hoped - goalless, a result which lifts Wolves out of the drop zone. Dare I hope that a victory against Liverpool would lift us OUT OF THE BOTTOM THREE!!!! Now, that IS an incentive and a half.

Top goalscoring honours today go to Phil Jevons of Grimsby who hit four in the 6-1 hammering of Barnsley. He also netted twice in midweek, making a remarkable tally of six in his last two games. Not bad for a guy who'd only scored nine career goals before this season began!

Killjoy of the day? How about the officials at the Fulham v Man United game for booking Ruud van Nistelrooy. Yes, you did read that right, I'm standing up for a Man United player being booked! You see, the Dutchman was on the subs bench when the ball ran out of play and naughty Ruud picked it up and stepped onto the playing area to get play restarted quickly. Apparently it's a bookable offence, although surely a quick `don't do it again,` would have been more sensible.

Finally, the Oops Award of the day goes to Man City boss Kevin Keegan who, like the aforementioned Van Nistelrooy, collected a dead ball late on at home to Chelsea and in his haste to return it to the pitch, tripped over and fell flat on his face! They'll be a few England fans setting the video to see that later tonight!

Sunday 29th February 2004
She'll only come out at night. The lean and hungry type. Nothing is new, I've seen her here before." (Song)
Maneater - Daryl Hall and John Oates: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

Who was the first goalkeeper to captain an FA Cup winning side?
Dave Beasant (Wimbledon 1988): Correctly answered by Jinder Singh

"Harry Kewell is set to return to Elland Road tomorrow with Liverpool, so a few quid on him maybe a decent gamble." - Those were my words yesterday and at around 12:21pm today I don't know what I was more annoyed at - my words becoming prophetically true as Leeds went behind or the fact that I'd NOT put my own money where my mouth is! It was a cracking goal though, as was the one twenty minutes later from Milan Baros, however our two between that double may not have been as spectacular, but they were easily as important! Okay, so we stay bottom and don't move out of the drop zone, but there's only two points between each of the bottom four and things are suddenly looking hopeful on the pitch, if not off of it. Considering the chances that Liverpool created, I was happy enough with a draw and felt that, had they scored a late winner, it would have been cruel, although naturally had we netted late on, the sympathy wouldn't have gone the other way! As a final thought, we have five home games left this season and four of them (the first four as it transpires) are against relegation possibles - Man City, Leicester, Everton and Portsmouth! Hold tight!

Although I'd be the first to admit that I wanted Bolton to win today's Carling Cup Final, I should add that I have absolutely nothing against Middlesbrough in the slightest, however I did feel a little let down after the game. I reckon it's that considering the opening to the game with three goals in the first 21 minutes, I was somehow expecting more to follow and maybe have a more dramatic final than we ultimately had. We were starved of exciting finals in the last decade and although since 2000 things have got a little better, it's been a while since we've had a real cracker and after the early stages, I had high hopes which, in the end, were false. Fair play to Boro though, they had the better of the second half and probably just about deserved to win. Two points to note though. The penalty (which I felt WAS a penalty unlike the studio brigade) which was struck twice by Zenden was down to a fluke of nature rather than anything intentional and, even if the ref had spotted it (which no-one did on first showing) it would indeed have been harsh to disallow it. And secondly, with the Leeds game finishing marginally before the final started, it was almost inevitable that someone would score early. Yes, guess who missed the opening goal...due to updating this site with the Leeds result!

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