Views From The Armchair - December 2005

."Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season December 2005

Thursday 1st December 2005
"The Legend Reborn" was the working title for which 1976 remake which has recently been remade again?
King Kong: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who was Sheffield United manager before the appointment of Neil Warnock six years ago?

I reckon that Freddie Sheppard or Graeme Souness have run over a black cat or walked under a ladder recently and I would bet that it happened somewhere in the Wigan area! Back in mid October they were denied an equaliser at the JJB when the ball clearly crossed the line and last night in the Carling Cup, they were beaten by a late penalty which, at best, looked soft. Shirt pulling was the reason given for the kick and whilst there may have been some of that going on, it was being done by both players and the Wigan attacker went down as though he'd been hit by a double-decker bus. I like Wigan and have the utmost respect for what they've done this season, however I couldn't help but feel sorry for Newcastle who surely deserved at least extra time on their second half display.

Loyalty in football is a rare thing these days, so hats of to Sheffield United boss Neil Warnock who has turned down the vacant managerial position at Portsmouth to stay at the club who he's supported since boyhood. All too often, the Premiership clubs come calling with their wads of cash and delusions of grandeur and the starry eyed Coca-Cola league bosses are lured away, but not this time. You can look at this two ways really. Firstly, Warnock is at a club that he loves and, as I mentioned, supports and it would take something special (with all due respect to Portsmouth) to prise him away, however more likely is the high possibility that, this time next year, Warnock will be in the Prem with Sheffield United, looking down a division on Portsmouth!

Friday 2nd December 2005
"I'm a superstitious girl, I'm the worst in the world. Never walk under ladders. I keep a rabbit's tail." (Song Lyric)
Life - Des'ree: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which current England international holds the Premiership record for the quickest ever goal?
Ledley King (9.9 seconds, Bradford v Spurs): Correctly answered by Jim Blair

Whilst watching Sky News on Monday, they showed the latest betting prices for who would be the new Portsmouth manager. Neil Warnock was favourite, although we know differently now, however right down at 20-1 was a certain Harry Redknapp! For a few seconds, I was tempted, however the feeling soon wore off and I put it down to one of those novelty options like Graham Taylor being the next England boss or Patrick Vieira and Ruud Van Nistelrooy teaming up as the next Chelsea boss! Today it would seem that it was very much a serious option and whereas my tenner (which stayed in my pocket) could have been worth �200 on Monday, now it would be worth about �12.50. After leaving Portsmouth for arch rivals Southampton a year ago, it appeared that a return simply wasn't an option, even under the rumoured terms of `Keep us up this season` type of contract, but now it seems as likely as anything else. I only wonder how the Pompey fans will react? The only likelyhood I could compare it to would be Glenn Hoddle returning to Southampton and if Redknapp leaves...Nah, that would be too outrageous surely?? Well, maybe a fiver is worth a punt.

Saturday 3rd December 2005
"I will be king and you, you will be queen. Though nothing will drive them away." (Song Lyric)
Heroes - David Bowie: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In June 2001, Blackburn paid �6.75m to Ternana of Italy for which striker who ultimately flopped in the Prem?
Corrado Grabbi: Correctly answered by Jim Blair

Crouch Off The Mark: Big news of the day is surely the fact that human beanpole Peter Crouch is finally off the mark for Liverpool, but was it the first goal or the second against Wigan that broke his duck? Personally, I'm with David Platt in the Sky studio and felt that the first was an own goal as the ball was parried in by keeper Mike Pollitt and that's even ignoring the whacking huge deflection that the original shot took. That said, the second goal was certainly his and showed the confidence of a player very much in form, even if he hasn't been finding the net. Liverpool look good at the moment and have not only tightened up at the back, but are finding goals from all quarters as well and, who knows, they may just be a decent chance to give Chelsea a run for their money in the league, assuming the Blues slip up.

Mixed Bag For London: Today they certainly didn't falter, as although a 1-0 home win against Middlesbrough can hardly be called emphatic, it's still another three points nearer retaining their title. Spurs are again making a fight of it, although they made hard work of by-perennial whipping boys Sunderland, winning 3-2 against the bottom club and missing a penalty in the process. Sunderland are in deep and could well beat some of the unwanted records they set in their last season in the top flight. It was double delight for Spurs fans today as Arsenal felt flat on their faces at the Reebok, losing to two first half goals against Bolton.

United Late Show: Although Man United left it late to finally see off Portsmouth, they rarely looked in any serious danger at 1-0 up and a final scoreline of 3-0 did the performance far more justice. Wednesday sees their crucial CL game in Benfica and I've not changed my opinion that I think they'll win and qualify. At the other end of the footballing spectrum, Portsmouth continue to struggle and whilst the apparent arrival of Harry Redknapp might be seen as the saving of the club, he couldn't do it at Southampton this time last year as they ended up going down.

Nose Bleed Alert! Four wins out of four now for Leeds which lifts us up to third. We tend to struggle against Leicester so a 2-1 home win was a nice change as we take on the mammouth challenge of catching the top two who are currently ten (Sheff U) and fourteen (Reading) points ahead of us. That said, compared to last season, things have improved massively at Leeds and we might just dare dream about a potential return to the top flight. That's the kiss of death on us now!

Sunday 4th December 2005
Which 2004 American horror film was a remake of a Japanese movie which was partially called Ju-On (followed by the same US title)?

Man City scored five (or more) in one competitive game last season (04-05), but who were the unlucky opponents?

The Slaughtered Lambs: I was chatting to a chap today about the forthcoming live offering between Charlton and Man City and he, a City fan, felt that it would be a tight game between two sides who've been struggling of late. I mentioned that it had all the makings of a 4-3 classic as defences would collapse! Well, I wasn't a million miles away as that's just what happened, although I had the dispertion of the seven goals wrong as City hit five. Charlton were as my heading suggests as City tore into them from the opening stages and by the end, the home side just looked glad to be off the pitch before further humiliation could be put onto them. Stat attack part one shows that Charlton have now conceded EIGHT goals at home in four days and all of them have been in the second half of whichever half they were playing (i.e. scored later than the 23rd or 68th minute) and part two states that this was the highest scoring Prem game this season to date.

Magic Of The Cup: Yes, I know it's a cliche, however few other competitions could pit a non-league club up against one of the richest and most famous clubs in the world for two seasons in a row! You may recall that last season, Man United drew at home to Exeter before winning the replay. This season they'll travel to either Burton or Burscough, although I guess it could be moved to a bigger stadium. As for Leeds "Four Wins In A Row" United, we'll travel to Wigan which, a month ago, would have sent shivers down by spine. Now though, Wigan remain a decent side, but the confidence is also high for us and I hope that we'll give them a good game even though they'll start as favourites. I'm in Wigan in a few days, so I wonder how well my LUFC coat will go down!! Spurs, who I feel could do well in the FA Cup this season, have a toughie at Leicester in a game that brings back memories of the 99 League Cup Final. Whatever happens though, the 3rd round will surely throw up a surprise or three and if it's in any of the above then I'll be smiling.

Monday 5th December 2005
"Flew me to a past not far away. She's a little pirate in my mind. Singing songs of love to pass the time." (Song Lyric)
Songbird - Oasis: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which club appointed Mike Newell as manager in 2003 after a telephone poll among fans, players and shareholders?
Luton Town: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Real Madrid Manager Sacked! This must be the most over-used phrase in the Spanish media as yet another goes begging at the weekend after Wanderley Luxemburgo got the old Spanish Archer from the Bernabeu. Now, apart from all the fuss about giving managers time to get it right, which does hold truth in some parts, I mean where would Man United be if Sir Alex had been sacked after his first three seasons, the next question is how will be next in the Madrid hot seat. Smart money appears to be on Prem trio Jose Mourinho, Arsene Wenger and Rafa Benitez and of the three, the latter is the most obvious due to his connections with La Liga and Spain itself. That said, I'd be surprised if any of them took the job, but then I'm biased towards the Prem. So with Harry Redknapp still in limbo and therefore unavailable (can you imagine Harry at Madrid?), then how about going for someone who is freely available for a change. The stage is set for Alain Perrin!!

I'm not a big fan of visiting city centres in the month or so before Christmas and on today's showing, my mind won't be changed. We were daft enough to drive into Bath today and having struggled to park (eventually getting on the top floor of a multi-storey) we were pushed from pillar to post whilst trying to casually wander from shop to shop, indeed on one occasion my wife was almost knocked off her feet by a dozy woman who didn't even see her as she clattered into us. Back at the car and on the traffic-jame ridden drive out of the centre, it became apparent of a new breed of humans who appear to have a death wish and will gladly walk out in front of cars - moving or otherwise - and calmly raise a hand in apology (or maybe that was simply to MAKE me slam on the brakes!). The best pair were a couple who looked as though they sleep rough and who I didn't even see coming until the grunge look flashed in front of the car, closely followed by the obligatory cans of Super Strength Cider. I counted to ten a few times today!

Tuesday 6th December 2005
"What is happening with the cops today? Huh? Don't you know you're endangering the lives of some villains?" (Film Quote)
Demolition Man: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

On route to winning the FA Cup in 1991, Paul Gascoigne scored six goals for Spurs, but against which two clubs did he score twice?

Home Horror Again: Poor Birmingham must dread playing in front of their own fans this season. Their 2-1 defeat against West Ham last night was their sixth league defeat at home in seven games and having drawn the other one, they face the prospect of not having won at home before Christmas. It wasn't just the defeat, it was the sheer run of bad luck that seemed to be inflicted upon them. An early goal should have set them up, however two injuries either side of Emile Heskey giving them the lead led to TWO substitutions by the 23rd minute and a third followed at half time, also due to injury. They also were the `victims` of a stunning individual goal from Bobby Zamora, a strike which reminded me of Frank Worthington's goal for Bolton v Ipswich around 1979 and how they didn't equalise in the final ten minutes is beyond me as they had at least five good chances before Heskey did his best to score again when he punched the ball in. That's not to say that the Hammers didn't deserve the win as they probably did overall, it's just that Birmingham need a stroke of luck and quickly or they'll be looking forward to playing Stoke and Plymouth next season.

Kettering Hotbed? Suddenly Kettering has become a focus for Britain's media as a full scale circus has erupted there. Boss Paul Gascoigne (yes, that one) had been in charge for 39 days before being sacked by chairman Imraan Ladak. The reason it's claimed is that Gazza had been drunk 37 times since being in charge. Gazza refutes this and says that the real reason is that Ladak wanted to pick the team and when he wasn't allowed to, he sacked him! It's going to turn into a cracking little soap opera - almost on a par with the ongoing Harry Redknapp - especially as Gazza says that he'll turn up for a game tonight, even if he has to sit with the fans, although that's also taken a sinister twist with the news that he was arrested last night for thumping a photographer! I remember writing an article for SoccerAge when Gazza quit playing stating that the final chapter of a remarkable career had been written. How wrong I was!

Wednesday 7th December 2005
"The survival of everyone on board depends on just one thing - Finding someone on board who can not only fly this plane, but who didn't have fish for dinner." (Film Quote)
Airplane: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who was Liverpool's top scorer in their Champions League campaign last season?

Stamford Stalemate: I don't suppose it was any major surprise that Chelsea and Liverpool cancelled each other out in the Champions League yet again. Just one goal in the four CL games between the clubs in the calender year of 2005 and one goal and even that was touch and go as to whether it had crossed the line. Yes I know both clubs had already qualified and both had made a point of stating that it made little difference whether they finished top or second, but some goalmouth entertainment would have been nice. Instead, the primary talking point was a knee-high tackle on Didi Hamann by Michael Essien which warranted a red card, but did not even get a yellow! Essien has done this before against Bolton this season and until someone grabs him by his �24m neck and shakes some sense into him, he is running the risk not only of a red card, but more seriously, the risk of ending a fellow professionals career. Over the top in more ways that one.

As usual, I was led awake waiting for my alarm clock to jolt me into action (It's a Leeds United one which opens, lights flash and plays the Match of the Day theme tune!) when it occurred to me that things weren't quite right. In short, we'd had a power cut which turned out to be all of the street and a good percentage of the town. Naturally you can never find a torch at 3am so with the help of a tea-light candle, my wife and I tried to find the number of the electricty board who then confirmed it was a widespread problem. As my wife wisely went back to bed, I was left in the company of Mr Tea-Light to get ready for work and ultimately managed to lose a sock, forget to wear my fleece jacket with my pens and knife (for cutting open bundles of papers!) in it and then having blown the candle out, I knocked over a pile of Xmas presents which were wrapped earlier in the week and then walked into the coat rack whilst trying to find the front door! In future, I'm keeping a torch, candle and matches by the bed! Oh, and the number for the electric company!

Thursday 8th December 2005
"We could live for a thousand years. But if I hurt you, I'd make wine from your tears." (Song Lyric)
Never Tear Us Apart - INXS: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

In 1994-95 when Man United last failed to qualify from a CL group, which other three clubs were in their group?

United Out! Well, what can one say? I was wrong! I felt sure that Man United would get the result they needed in Portugal (only a draw as it transpired), but they again managed to prove what a useless tipster I am. Equally, I felt sure that they would come out, dominate and take the game to Benfica from the start and to be fair, I was right...for six minutes anyway. After that, when Paul Scholes put them effectively into the last 16, they slackened off, gave the ball away too easily and created very little as Benfica battled back and scored twice in eighteen first half minutes to send United crashing out. Prior to the game, confidence was high with Carlos Quieroz refusing to answer questions on what would happen if they lost, simply choosing to say, "We will win!" Sky's Andy Gray could see nothing but a United win against a `weakened Benfica side` but the players wanted to show the experts how wrong they were. I suspect that United fans are taking this hard. Partly as they aren't used to it, it's the first time they've gone out at this stage since 1994, and partly due to the manner of the defeat. In the second half, the home keeper had little to do apart from a few punches and go down near the end as though he'd been shot. There was plenty of possession for United, but attempts at goal were conspicous by their absence and you could never point to a 5-10 spell of the game where they really looked like scoring. Indeed the better chances of the half fell to Benfica on the break! So, where now for United? They remain in three domestic competitions and won't need to worry about any more overseas trips and on another plus side, fixture congestion shouldn't be a problem either. For all the complaints about how the CL rejects get a second chance in the UEFA Cup, I'll bet that United would grab that with both hands given the choice this morning.

Enforced Break: I won't be around this weekend so the diary is taking a break for a few days. It should return around the middle of next week.

Thursday 15th December 2005
"Now, come on, get your clothes on, and we'll stroll up to my car and get.. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll stroll. You fly." (Film Quote)
It's A Wonderful Life: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Whilst at Leeds, Rio Ferdinand only scored two league goals, however both were away from home and in successive games in an eight day spell. Who were the two opponents?

Back To Reality: After a weekend in Lancashire with the in-laws, it's back to normal now, although it has to be said that the break was thoroughly enjoyable and I'm glad we did it, despite the long drive. Our two nieces are around the same age as our daughter and although we only see them once or twice a year, they got on brilliantly and after a day or so of `getting to know you`, four adults and three children spent SIX HOURS on Sunday afternoon doing nothing but eating and playing charades. Unluckily for me, I seemed to get caught doing `dancing` clues (Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing Queen and so on) although near the end, they were fixing it with comments like, "Leave that one for Gary!". By the end of it all, I was known as Uncle Dancing Queen!!

Rio Scores On The Pitch: It finally happened last night. Yes, Rio Ferdinand found the net for Man United for the first time in the three and a half years since he joined. A few times this season I've had a bet on him as first scorer, however sadly last night was not one of them. For a club in crisis, they played remarkably well once they went ahead as Wayne Rooney in particular caused Wigan all sorts of problems. Wigan are now in a mini-slump after their sensational start and although they've only lost by the odd goal to the likes of Arsenal, Spurs and Chelsea, you wonder what the effects of the 3-0 defeat at Liverpool and 4-0 hammering at Old Trafford will have on them. They've dropped from second to eighth in that period which is a major plummet and it will be interesting to see how the react against Charlton at the weekend.

Big Sam In Europe: Bolton's embryonic European quest continues after a home draw with Seville clinched a place in the last 32 of the UEFA Cup. A favourable draw now would work wonders for them and it could be time for them to start dreaming of potential success. I missed most of the game as I watched the United match, however from the bits that I saw, Bolton more than held their own against a decent Spanish side and I for one would love to see them go much further. At least there is one club from the Greater Manchester area that's still in Europe...

Friday 16th December 2005
"Feigning joy and surprise at the gifts we despise of a mulled wine with you." (Song Lyric)
Christmas Time - The Darkness: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Massimo Maccarone joined Middlesbrough from which Italian side?

The KnockOuts are Here!: Now the European competitions really take off as today's draw for the CL and UEFA Cup finally get into `lose and you're out` mode. The eventual draw (after all the faffing around with introductions, explanations and a look at the 16 qualifiers!) may as well been subtitled Britain v Iberian Peninsular. The pick is surely Chelsea against Barcelona, bringing back memories of last season when they met at the same stage, with Chelsea just edging through in a thriller. Equally, Arsenal against Real Madrid will see another big club drop out and both matches are mouthwatering to say the least. Holders Liverpool aren't up against Spanish opposition but they are close at they take on Man United's conquerers Benfica in what should be another cracker, although Liverpool will certainly be confident of going through. To complete the set, Rangers do face a trip to Spain as they do battle with Villarreal in what should be a tough test of how fatr they've come in Europe. But the pick is undoubtedly the Chelsea game!

Like many others this festive season, I'm avoiding the queues as best I can and shopping online. Yes, I have been into various shops and bought bits and bobs, however the major pressies have been done with little more than sitting at my PC which is great for us buyers. What it has highlighted though is how various big name companies deal with online orders and, more to the point, how quickly they let you know when there is a problem. An example being my wife who wanted a new mobile phone for Xmas and having found the exact make, model and colour on Amazon, I ordered it in early November. After two weeks, I had an email stating that it had been delayed and a further two weeks on, another email arrived saying that it was out of stock and wouldn't be in before Xmas. Wonderful! My wife has now ordered it on my behalf via Freemans Online with whom she has an account, however she ordered one of my gifts in JUNE and is still awaiting delivery!! Therefore I'm not confident of getting said equipment through before Santa arrives. On the flip side, I ordered another surprise gift on Tuesday evening via a well-known name (I cannot reveal who in case my wife reads this!) and that came today despite a warning that it was on a 5-7 working day delivery. Fantastic service from a company that I'll have no hesitation in using again. Are you listening Amazon and Freemans?

Saturday 17th December 2005
Mike Myers is known as the voice of Shrek, but which other minor character did he provide the voice for in the first film?
One Of The Blind Mice: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Which current Prem star was the leading Champions League scorer in 2003-04?
Fernando Morientes (Monaco): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Loads of goals: Goals galore in the Prem today as 24 were scored in the seven games played. Most notable results were probably at Villa Park where Man United won 2-0 to move to within six points of Chelsea who play tomorrow, and at Fratton Park where Harry Redknapp returned with a win, albeit a narrow 1-0 win, over relegation rivals West Brom. Different ends of the table, but two important results which puts pressure on other clubs battling it out around them.

Double Hat Tricks: Much like London buses and spiders in the bath, you see none for ages and then two come along at once. Before today there had been just one Premiership hat trick this season, yet today we had two more as Henri Camara returned Wigan to winning ways against a Charlton side who are not so much in decline, more sliding down the table at all too an alarming rate. The other treble came from Michael Owen who is gradually making his mark on Tyneside among all the injuries. He scored three in the 4-2 win at West Ham, who co-incidentally, had scored the other treble this season through Marlon Harewood.

Brum Blues: Having just finishing watching Birmingham get ripped apart by Man City, you shudder to think what could happen to them when they face Man United twice before the end of the month - once in the Cup on Tuesday and then in the league over Xmas. United were as superb at Villa today as Birmingham were crap at Manchester and if both clubs play as they did when they meet, United could end up with a cricket score. My guess is that United will wheel out all the fringe players and Birmingham will pull out all the stops and snatch a win. Yeah, it's unlikely isn't it?

Sunday 18th December 2005
"A crowded room. Friends with tired eyes. I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice." (Song Lyric)
Last Christmas - Wham! : Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Who was the only Chelsea player to score a league hat trick last season?
Eidur Gudjohnsen (home to Blackburn): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

A slightly unusual day for me today as, once I finished work, I went to the church service where my wife and daughter sing in the choir and then afterwards helped clean it and prepare for the evening Christmas carol concert (which I also went to). This included volunteering to help decorate the Xmas tree without initially realising that it was a good 20-25 feet tall. Thankfully I overcame my extremely morbid fear of heights to clamber up a step-ladder and help put the lights and baubles on. But that ladder didn't feel safe to me....

Six Goal Thriller: Although I missed the start of the Boro v Spurs game, I did catch all six goals in a game that could have gone either way right until the very end. I told a chap today that I thought Spurs would sneak it by the odd goal, meaning 1-0 or 2-1, but even the most optimistic watcher wouldn't have predicted 3-3. As you'd expect from such a scoreline, but clubs looked good going forward and decidely dodgy at the back and if either or both can sort their defensive frailties out, then they have the chance of improving on an already decent season.

Arsenal Out Of The Title Race? That seems to be the general consensus after losing at home to Chelsea today. The visitors are back to having a nine-point cushion at the top, however they lead Arsenal by TWENTY points as the Gunners remain in eighth! It was felt that they were unlucky to be behind at half time having had a perfectly good goal disallowed and hitting the post, however it should be remember that Chelsea totally dominated the opening 20 minutes and, once the second goal went in, rarely looked in danger. Thierry Henry again failed to raise his game against the quality opposition and the Arsenal fans might just be wondering about these rumours of Barcelona on the horizon. All told, it was a niggly game, littered with petty fouls and constant moaning to the ref. But totally engrossing as well!!

Monday 19th December 2005
"If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now." (Film Quote)
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation: Correctly answered by Kirsty

As regards the FA Cup, what do the follow greats (among others) have in common? George Best, Peter Shilton, Martin Peters and Gordon Banks?

Be Afraid! Who will be the next Prem boss to be sacked? My money is on Birmingham's Steve Bruce after he was given the dreaded vote of confidence from chairman David Gold today. To quote him, "We are in the most difficult situation we've been in, but Steve's job isn't in jeopardy." Fair enough I guess, however having watched them against Man City at the weekend, they are most definately in disarray on the pitch and have some pretty tricky games coming up between now and the new year with two home games against Man United, away matches at Spurs and Chelsea and ending with a home clash against Wigan. On the plus side for Bruce, few would expect them to get anything from any of the game, apart from maybe the Wigan one, however by then, they could be rapidly losing touch with the top 17 clubs, especially so if Portsmouth pick up under Harry Redknapp. This time next month, Bruce could still be in charge at St Andrews, but somehow I doubt it.

Tuesday 20th December 2005
"A time for living, a time for believing. A time for trusting, not deceiving." (Song Lyric)
Mistletoe & Wine: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Coventry's record transfer fee received and paid out are both for the same player. Who?
Robbie Keane: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

At this time of the year when people start handing out various awards, I reckon I deserve one from Sky, QPR and Coventry for managing to watch last nights game from start to finish without switching off! Okay, I did drop off to sleep near the end and came back to life when the decibel was raised when the penalty was awarded, however that was justified due to the excitement, or lack of it, being generated from the game itself. At best it was dire, at worst you can add your own adjectives! During the first half, we saw just three shots at goal and only one was on target and whislt I'm not sure of the final figures, it's not a game that will live long in the memory for any right reasons. The irony is that if either club put a decent run together (although Coventry have won three on the bounce now) then they could be in the play off positions which says a lot about the overall quality of the Championship aside from the top two clubs who could well be promoted by Easter at this rate.

With Christmas five days away, I'd usually be in a state of panic with presents still to buy and then to wrap. This year however, I've been amazingly good by my standards and actually bought the last gift for my wife yesterday (it would have been sooner had Amazon or Freemans got their act together, but lets not get started on that!). We've visited all the in-laws, both up North and in Devon (yesterday) and the only thing left it to remember to take the turkey out of the freezer before Xmas morning and then to keep in safely out of the way of two dogs who'll eat anything that isn't nailed down given half the chance. Yes, all things considered, I think we're ready for the big day, although that said, you can almost bet that we've forgotten something very important and very obvious. Whatever it is, it can't be much worse than a few years ago when I was given the job of buying a new roasting dish to put the turkey in and bought one too BIG to fit in our oven!

Wednesday 21st December 2005
"Rand Peltzer, Fantastic ideas for a Fantastic World, I make the illogical logical." (Film Quote)
Gremlins: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Who won the 1992 African Nations Cup, beating Ghana 11-10 on penalties?

There were two games on the box last night, although oddly each one only lasted 45 minutes. To begin with, Birmingham held Man United reserves to a goalless draw and then straight afterwards, United's first team beat Birmingham (clearly tired after playing twice to United's once) 3-1. Or at least, that's the way it sounded listening to the experts. The arrival of Wayne Rooney at half time seemed to perk United up and although he hadn't touched the ball, they scored within a minute of him coming on, hence the sudden change in attitudes towards the teams. In truth, United's first half side was hardly below par with the likes of Tim Howard, Gary Neville, Louis Saha, not to mention Brown, Silvestre and Ronaldo all starting, however Rooney's stature is such at the moment that he seems to turn games just by being there. Whether his half time arrival sparked silent panic among the home players, then who knows, but ultimately whatever happened did the trick for United as domestically they are on top form of late.

Meanwhile, further north on Merseyside, Tranmere and Carlisle were fighting it out in the LDV Vans Trophy, with the visitors eventually winning on penalties. Nothing too unusual about that, apart from the fact that all 22 players took a spot kick and SCORED - apart from home keeper Steve Wilson who missed the 21st kick and allowed Carlisle to win 11-10! You knew this was coming, but this equals the record between English league clubs as far as final score was concerned after Aldershot beat Fulham by the same score in a Freight Rover Cup game in 1987, although then 28 kicks were taken and seven missed. Must have been a long night!

Thursday 22nd December 2005
"Welcome to my Christmas song, I'd like to thank you for the year. So I'm sending you this Christmas card to say it's nice to have you here." (Song Lyric)
Step Into Christmas - Elton John: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Liverpool and West Ham hold the league cup scoring record for goals in a game. Both scored ten, however when Liverpool did it in 1986-87, which now Premiership, club did they do it against?

"Unlucky" hardly covers it! As much as the Daily Mail irratates me, I can't help thinking that their back page headline summed up Doncaster v Arsenal perfectly! "CRUEL" was almost understating matters, however that's exactly how it was as Arsenal never led at all during the game and were behind to their league one counterparts for 74 minutes in normal and extra time, however they managed to snatch a stoppage time in extra time equaliser and then held their nerves to scrape through on penalties. But that's football for you and, if nothing else, Donny fans and players will have some amazing memories of this cup run that will last for years and can never be taken away. It would be worth considering this when all the do-gooders come along and say that the competition should be scrapped as it only creates additional matches.

Hectic Bath Time! I had to drive into central Bath today (not out of choice, I assure you), which is usually no problem at all, however three days before Christmas is not idea to drive into any city centre so to say the least, I wasn't looking forward to it. Remarkably, getting in and out caused very few problems (rare in itself if you know the city!) and even parking was quite straightforward, only needing the fourth storey of the multi-storey. Then we made the mistake of getting out of the car! The place was heaving, not surprisingly, and only got busier in the three or four hours or so that we were there. Teenagers texting on their mobiles and looking directly down whilst walking straight at you were a major danger, as were young Mums who insisted on turning their pushchairs to the side and blocking half the pavements whilst talking to friends - not to mention the lovely lady who did just this whilst we were right behind us and almost clattered her front wheels against my shins. Hardest job of all though was avoiding the Big Issue sellers. I swear that they were everywhere, much more than usual, and whilst the emotional blackmail works to an extent, the ones who wander after you waving their "Last One" in the air really got on my tits. Anyone who bought the fable `last one` would then get out of sight before said seller would produce more `last ones` from her bag. Oh, and the hospital had the normal long wait associated with it, which at least gave me the chance to almost finish my book!

Happy Christmas!!!

With no more football before Christmas Day, the diary takes a break until it all starts back again, which will be on Boxing Day. Until then, have a wonderful Christmas!

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