"Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season August 2007



Friday 10th August 2007
Who were the losing semi finalists in the Championship play offs last season (06-07)?
Wolves and Southampton: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

"Brain fried tonight through misuse, through misuse, through misuse." (Song)
Monster - The Automatic: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
The eve of the new season and isn't it exciting? Money has been spent on a larger and grander scale than in ages with Liverpool, Man United, Man City and Spurs all splashing the cash as though it'll be worth nothing tomorrow. The Tevez saga has finally ended after what seems a lifetime and as fans everywhere believe that this could be `our season`, we come to Leeds... Yep, my team starts the season knowing that even if we win the first five games, we'll still have zero points! I've followed the story throughout but the legal bits go straight over my head so I can't really say whether we've been hard done by or not but what's done is done and the time for whinging and feeling sorry for ourselves needs to stop or it'll overshadow the new season which in itself is new ground for Leeds as it's our first ever campaign in the old division three.

Setanta Sports are the new kid on the block as regards live Prem football this season and I'll admit that I have subscribed as their new main time slots are usually games that I try and catch. Sky have pulled a fast one though by scheduling a lower league game at the same time on a Saturday evening as Setanta's Prem coverage so that was a bit sneaky. Their pre-season coverage has been okay as was last weekend's SPL stuff with thankfully few gimmicks which those that matter seem to think that us that watch are interested in. Sky have taken 15 years to get the balance right so we'll see how Setanta do tomorrow and for the next few weeks before making snap judgements. Hopefully the days of the `Sky Strikers` and 25 feet tall plastic sumo wrestlers are long gone.

We were watching Signs last night which is the Mel Gibson/alien encounters film and apart from the fact that Mad Max was hopelessly mis-cast as a vicar, it was okay as films go. However we were around halfway through and just past the bit where the aliens were overheard communicating with each other on the baby monitor when our phone rings. It was my wife's mum and as I passed the phone over I mentioned that there was a lot of static on the line. Literally 15 seconds later the connection is severed and the phone goes totally dead! What does this tell us? Either it's total coincidence or my mother-in-law is an alien.


Saturday 11th August 2007
Michael Chopra's only Prem goal for Newcastle came against which club?

The recently released Die Hard 4.0 was known by which other title on it's US release?
Live Free Or Die Hard: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
Keane Earns His Spurs: What a start to the new season! The opener between Sunderland and Spurs was frankly, drab until the latter stages when both clubs, both especially Sunderland, decided that they might just try and win it. Michael Chopra's late goal could hardly have come any later with the three minutes of stoppage time just about up. I still think Spurs will do well this season if they can get their away form problem from last season sorted (although that hasn't began well!) but will still have trouble controlling my natural instincts of cheering when Spurs concede which dates back to my school days when dinosaurs ruled the earth.

Gerrard Saves The Day: For most of the game at Villa Park, Liverpool looked to be sailing toward victory until a penalty gifted by Jamie Carragher brought Villa level. Enter saviour Stevie G with a stunningly good free kick to win it just two minutes later and spark Liverpool fans onto their annual rave about how this could be their year. Ironically, this time around they may have a valid point. Whether they'll stretch Man United or Chelsea remains to be seen but they certainly have some quality at the club and from what I've seen of the new arrivals in pre-season, they've settled in well, so who knows...

Something To Shout About! And so to Leeds! A goal down at half time at Tranmere and business as usual looked on the cards. However our opening day record is amazing and I don't think we've lost at opening fixture since 1990 (it's just after the first game that it all goes haywire) and I shouldn't have been overly surprised by a second half comeback culminating in a last minute winner! Twelve points to go before we hit zero!


Sunday 13th August 2007
Michael Proctor and Jamie Carragher are the only players to do what in a Prem game?

The primary characters of which film are Charles Van Doren and Herb Stemple?
Quiz Show: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
A Day At The Castle: Spent the day at Warwick Castle today with some of my in-laws, one of which (niece Jodie) came home with us and is spending the next week in deepest darkest Somerset. Which leads me onto on of the attractions at the castle which was a Ghost Tower tour where actors play the part of the ghosts said to inhabit the tower and whilst you are on the tour, jump out, scream in your face and generally do their best to make you crap yourselves. Of the four adults in our group, three of them decided that the fourth (namely me!) would have to accompany the four kids (daughter, two nieces and one friend of a niece) into the tower and I'll admit that I did jump more than once. We were `guided` around by a story-telling ghost dressed totally in black who also wandered around the castle grounds in an attempt to entice people into the tower. My wife thought that it would be nice to get a picture of her but didn't get a good one as she seemed to be walking too fast. Only then did she realise that the `ghost` was actually a Muslim lady in traditional dress racing back to her family.

Football wise I missed everything including Arsenal and Fulham doing their but for World Peace. Chelsea signing the Birmingham keeper right before their game but not telling anyone and of course Wayne Rooney fracturing his foot. Bloody shame that as he's in my Dream Team.

Monday 13th August 2007
In a Division 2 game in November 1987, Man City scored ten goals against which club?
Huddersfield: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

"I swam across, I jumped across for you, Oh what a thing to do." (Song Lyric)
Yellow - Coldplay: Correctly answered by kirstymd
First full day with our niece and as I had the day off work, a trip to the seaside seemed in order. The weather stayed glorious and despite a packed beach, we did managed to find a spare patch of sand for the kids to play on. From sandcastles to paddles in the sea quickly turned to the inevitable, "Dad can we bury you." Having agreed that they could only bury me so that I was still able to breathe and that if I turned blue they would dig me out as soon as possible, the burial began. Thankfully I was only really buried from the waste down although when one of them bashed the sand to flatten it down, she caught me right on the end of the toe resulting in a muffled obscenity from me. Eventually they finished and I managed to claw my way out but even now I'm finding grains of sand in the strangest places.

Tuesday 14th August 2007
Who was the first player to score five goals in one Prem match?

"Those three words are said too much. They're not enough." (Song lyric)
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol: Correctly answered by kirstymd
Sliding Spurs? For a club that spent millions in the summer, the expectations of the Spurs fans are sky high this season and whilst Saturday's defeat could be seen as a minor blip, tonight's loss at home to Everton has probably shook many fans to their core. They actually looked capable of scoring and created decent chances but lady luck departed at kick off and defensively they looked dire to the point that Everton looked equally likely to score with most attacks. Spurs are beginning to remind of Leeds of a few years back when we bought every played available in a bid to buy success and now look at where it got us. They will come good of that I'm sure but their confidence at the moment must be shattered.

The kids (daughter and niece) decided to do a quick quiz for myself and my wife last night with questions ranging from "What is five squared?" to "Read out the alphabet but leave out the letters that make up the word EASTER" and as my wife discovered that wasn't as easy as it sounded! My favourite section though was the one on JFK, a subject that I did at school in 1769 and still remain quite interested in. However the new style of teaching is obviously different to my school days as I now find out that he was shot through a car window, five hours later than I recall and that every mile along the route someone dropped dead as the motorcade passed by! I think the Warren Commission needs to reconvene!

Macclesfield 0 Leeds 1 (Carling Cup): Two wins out of two and both away from home! Nose bleed alert!

Wednesday 15th August 2007
Which World Cup winner was twice manager at Posrtmouth?

"Murders and rapes in the city, people bomb planes, can the police stop 'em? No! But feed one little cow to a crocodile..." (Film)
Lake Placid: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
Head Strong Ron: As Man United drop more points, the back page headlines are largely about Cristiano Ronaldo losing his head and butting Portsmouth's Richard Hughes. I actually agree with Sir Alex when he says that he deserved it even though he was provoked and rose to the bait. Increasingly this is becoming more and more part of the game. Scuffles at corners which look like a mini version of WWE are commonplace and it's amazing that more fouls and cards aren't shown and in fact until they are, this will continue. Credit to Hughes for not making a song and dance out of the head butt and United fans can only hope that he'll learn from this harsh lesson.

Elsewhere Chelsea came from behind again for a narrow win and already are four points ahead of United. I know it's early days but it could prove crucial come the end of the season. It's doubly hard for United as local rivals City (aka foreign XI) are going great guns under Mr Eriksson which has surprised me to say the least.

Saturday 25th August 2007
Who scored the goals when Liverpool beat Sunderland 2-0 in the 1992 FA Cup Final?
Michael Thomas & Ian Rush: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

"Look at the way we gotta hide what were doing. Cause what would they, if they ever knew." (Song)
I think we're along now - Tiffany: Correctly answered by kirstymd
Sorry for the lack of entries lately however we had our niece to stay for a few days and then had five days in her neck of the woods in Lancashire with more in-laws and had a really good time with plenty of laughs. Blackpool Pleasure Beach was a highlight especially for our daughter who finally got her wish to go on all the big rides thanks to our older niece (14) who had been on them all before and had no worries about taking a 13-year old on with her. My limit ended with the Grand National ride which is an old fashioned wooden rollercoaster which goes a hell of a lot faster than it looks! With younger niece (11) next to me, I spent the ride with one arm across her and my other arm trying to stop my glasses from flying off of my face! I ultimately failed with the latter but somehow grabbed them as they slipped from my nose just before they sailed into the wide blue yonder! Great week though and thanks to an impromptu piece of improvisation from yours truly, at least five of us will never be able to listen to `I Will Survive` in the same way again!

Rovers Return: Onto the football and of the two live games today, the most entertaining was the second as Everton came from behind to hold Blackburn. After the opening few minutes I thought it was going to get a bit nasty but thankfully didn't and we eventually had a decent game with chances missed and taken at both ended and both keepers making decent saves. Europe beckons for both clubs this season and you wonder if it will affect their league form. Hopefully it won't as a bit of consistency could see either club making an outside bid for the elusive top four, although to me, Rovers look the most likely. Finally wasn't it a good and touching touch for the one minute applause for young Everton fan Rhys Jones who tragically died this week. Great to see the Rovers fans giving their all as well.

Liverpool Looking Good: Earlier, Liverpool swept aside Sunderland in what will surely be one of their easiest away wins of the season. As their continue to impress this season and install some hope for their fans that this could end the 18 year wait for the title, it's worth a quick mention to Sunderland who have started okay this season and will win a few, however they looked out of their depth against Liverpool and whilst Roy Keane will obviously learn how to counteract this, many of the top clubs will have watching this thinking Sunderland can be almost scared into submission. It will be very interesting to see how they cope at Old Trafford next week as Keano returns.


Sunday 26th August 2007
Which former Prem manager once played in goal for Spurs at Man United despite being an outfield player?

"Dance if they want to dance. Please brother take a chance. You know they're gonna go which way they wanna go." (Song)
The Masterplan - Oasis: Correctly answered by kirstymd
Battlefield Riverside: The 2-2 Tees-Tyne derby could well give four goal thrillers a bad name as for 85% of the encounter it was pretty average stuff with a goal burst in each half. In fact, there were injuries and yellow cards on show for more than the average Prem game including two stretcher cases, an injury in the opening six minutes and the subsequent sub being subbed later on! Mido's actions after scoring was drippy in the extreme and whilst perhaps understandable in the heat of the moment, prolonging the sshhhh action was little more than red rag to a black and white bull.

Nani State: So Man United are off the mark after beating Spurs and whilst Nani's (or was it Tevez!!) goal was superb, I reckon he'll become the sort of player that opponents love to hate. His arrogance/confidence is one thing and whilst he doesn't seem to have the diving tendancy that his compatriot has, he does seem to have a wonderful habit of thrashing around like a shark in a net when `injured`. I noticed it twice in the first half (the commentators mentioned a low pain tolerance!) and I wondered later how he would have reacted had he been caught like Giggs did later or got a head knock similar to that of Gardners. As for the handball against Wes Brown that wasn't given, I'm still not sure that it was a hand as it look like the side of the chest. Naturally the Spurs players appealed as any would in the same situation but deliberate handball? Not convinced. This could kick start United's climb up the table especially with Sunderland home next week, back to back wins look on the cards.


Monday 27th August 2007
Who were the Conference winners last season (06-07)?

"Oh well I don't mind, you don't mind. Cause I don't shine if you don't shine. Before you go." (Song)
Read my Mind - The Killers: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
No football on this Bank Holiday Monday apart from some Conference stuff which Setanta have covered tonight. On which point, the Conference is currently sponsored by Blue Square! Without looking it up, I'll freely admit that I have no idea what they do or supply but it cast my mind back to when the League Cup was sponsored by the milk marketing board in the 80s and we had the imaginatively named Milk Cup, sparking cries from the traditionalists that football would never be the same again. So what next I wonder when the Prem contract comes up? We already have Green Flag (or did have) in football so maybe it'll be the Pink and Purple Duvet Company Premier League.

It's hard to believe that the kids are back to school next week (pause for cheers from parents everywhere) after the six week summer break. Whilst walking our dog this afternoon I had an insight into what today's youngsters do to pass the time. Maybe they still play football as we used to, however the ones that I saw down a back street made me smile. They had a mini car boot sale outside their house consisting presumably of old toys that they wanted to get rid of. Now aside from the fact that their road is hardly a haven for passers-by and that it was probably a ploy from their parents to get them doing something, there were murmurs of excitement when I began walking down. However, I gave it a wide berth and politely refused when asked if I wanted to buy anything, largely it seemed to be a lot of plastic jewelry and fast food freebies and that I didn't have any money on me! Wouldn't it be great though if, next weekend when Mum was getting ready to go out, she asked her daughter where her new expensive diamond ear-rings were! "Well actually Mum, remember that sale we had outside on Monday...!"


Tuesday 28th August 2007
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer once scored four goals in 15 minutes against Forest but what was the final score?

"So let me get this straight. I'm gonna OD on nail polish, and Ian is gonna be embarrassed to death?" (Film)
Final Destination 3 - Correctly answered by kirstymd
With school starting back next week, we had to finally bite the bullet and go and get the last minute stuff for our daughter ahead of her starting a new school and I'm not ashamed to say that after a couple of hours battling through crowds in Bristol, I ended up very pissed off! Traffic was fine, parking was fine and in general we found what we need although a dark coat with no logos would explain why we see so many kids walking to school without a coat. No, the problem was the general public! We have a wheelchair to somehow manoeuvre around the shops and if the some of the aisles aren't too narrow so as to fit as much in the shop as possible, then the public somehow failing to spot a wheelchair and me pushing it is uncanny. I'm not saying we should have free run of the shops, far from it, but you would be astonished at how many people stand in the way and then look at us as though we are aliens from the planet Ignorance when we politely say, "Excuse me please." This all paled into insignificance though at the shop where we eventually found a pair of shoes that our daughter liked. Apart from the fact that it had stairs and no lifts and the pay kiosk was UPSTAIRS and the kids shoes DOWNSTAIRS, my daughter and I left my wife on the ground floor (kids below, pay above!) doing her Andy Pipkin impression by the door whilst we went and paid. Once down, we found out that a somewhat unfriendly shop assistant has asked my wife to move in the meantime so she could stack some shelves behind her! In the words of the great Mr Pipkin, "I don't like her!"

No shock to report in Bristol for the football as West Ham breezed to a 2-1 win at Rovers although the game was overshadowed by the broken leg sustained by Kieron Dyer. Sky did dhow one replay straight after the incident but after that clearly decided that once was enough. Even this paled into insignificance with what happened at half time in the Forest-Leicester game which was called off after Foxes defender Clive Clarke collapsed with what was called a `serious illness`. On the same day that Seville star Antonio Puerta sadly died having collapsed on the pitch at the weekend due to a heart attack aged 22, then this really is a black time for the game in general.


Wednesday 29th August 2007
Sven Goran Eriksson's last game in charge of England was against which nation?

"So where is this fire-breathin' pain in the neck, anyway?" (Film)
Shrek: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
Sven's On A Roll: No luck for Bristol again tonight as City lost to Man City in the Carling Cup. Serves them right for having such inaccessible shops really but that's another story. Bristol City were simply over-run in the first half and lucky only to be one superbly taken goal down. The second half was more even but the Premiership quality shone through in the end and Man City are rapidly becoming the surprise package of the season, not because they have started so well but because they have started so well after such a drastic overhaul in the summer with players coming and going by the hour. Maybe that's why Sven is doing better at City than with England. He is now surrounded by foreigners!


Thursday 30th August 2007
Randy Lerner is the new chairman of which club?
Aston Villa: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

"Well the dogs were whistling a new tune, barking at the new moon, hoping it would come soon so that they could." (Song)
All Good Things - Nelly Furtado: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
If you are caught in an argument that doesn't involve you then it causes a mixture of embarrassment and voyeuristic entertainment depending on how you look at it. I'm never quite sure which but today some higher force gave myself and my wife TWO opportunities to judge. Firstly, we had returned to our car after a hospital outpatients appointment and, as is usually the case, available spaces are rare to say the least. As I loaded the car with various bits and bobs, a red taxi drove up and, unknown to me, gestured to my wife to ask if we were going and she nodded. As I got into the drivers seat, a woman wandered up and asked me the same and naturally I said that we were. Well, whilst she was wandering around the car park looking for a space, her husband had stopped their car in the entrance with the apparent intention of blocking anyone else from coming in, expect as it turns out, the taxi who decided (much as I would have done) that staying static and not allowing anyone else a chance was a bit selfish. The cabby had then driven past our stationary friend and saw us about to leave! As the woman beckoned her hubby to drive over, a heated argument started between her and the cabby with her explaining that they were in the car park first. I didn't hear the response but she then told the cabby that she didn't give a stuff (I think that's she said) and as we pulled out trying not to laugh, her hubby rocketed straight in! Then we went out for lunch...

...At an out of town Brewers Fayre nearby. We were early for lunch but when they explained that they could take our order but it wouldn't be cooked until midday, then we said that was fine. An older couple came in just after us and were told the same before they went to an outside table. When our food arrived it was lovely as always however a few minutes later, the other couple came back in and had a major moan at the staff as they'd been waiting for half and hour! The fact that we were first and that of that 30 mins, 15 was before noon and not really relevant didn't make a difference to Victor Meldrew's twin brother and he continued to rant with his wife and then said that they didn't want their food. Sods law then took over and out came the unknowing waitress with the pre-ordered meal! We didn't hear the final outcome but as we left later on, they were just finishing their meal outside. On reflection, it's definitely entertaining!


Friday 31st August 2007
What record did Paolo Maldini set in the CL Final last May (06-07)?

Michael Myers was the anti-hero for which series of films?
Halloween: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd
I know I moan about it every year but it would be great to have the Champions League group stage draw whittled down to a running time that doesn't involve a toilet break for those of us watching. In fact I've come to the conclusion that it serves two purposes. The first is to decide who plays who whilst the second is an internal joke to try and make each draw slightly longer than the previous years. Do we need to have Europe's best players (who votes for these anyway?) to make the draw and surely a list of the clubs on a giant screen to remind of who is in would be fine rather than a snippet from each club resulting in most of us not even recognising the badges of many clubs in the lower pots. I know they have to keep clubs from the same nations apart but the bottom line is that we could do the draw much quicker with a set of numbered ping-pong balls in the living room.

Silent Witness was back on the Beeb this week and as a lover of such shows (Wire in the Blood, Cracker, Waking The Dead etc) I was looking forward to seeing the new series. Having watched both parts of Apocolypse I can only say please bring back Amanda Burton now! The title had little to do with the storyline which in itself was a mish-mash of various ideas that didn't quite work. I saw the ending coming a few minutes before it was `revealed` (and for me that's very unusual as the cat normally spots the `twist` before I do) and all told it was a let down. I wonder why Ms Burton isn't in the new series. Maybe she read the scripts first? Yes I know it's Friday and people should be happy that it's the weekend soon, however I don't do 9-5 Mon to Fri and do work each weekend so Happy Friday doesn't apply to me


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