Views From The Armchair

"Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season August 2005

Monday 1st August 2005
What is the connection between Ultravox and Rigsby's cat from Rising Damp?
Vienna: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Which player netted the most Premiership penalties last season (04-05)?
Andy Johnson: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Hello again! It's back which must only mean one thing - the kids school holidays have started! Seriously though, the football season is almost upon us with the big clubs kicking off in under two weeks whilst the rest of us start next weekend. That said, in the two months since last season ended, there hardly seems to have been a week go by without any football on the box what with the end of season tours (what is all that about??), the Confederations Cup and the pre-season friendlies getting under way. Add to that Liverpool's early start in the Champions League and you have something close to 12 month football as you are likely to get, even without a Euro or World Cup in June. So, as wives and girlfriends everywhere bemoan that there's `too much football on the telly`, my only advice is to do why I did a week or so ago - get Sky Multiroom with Sky+. Best tenner a month I've spent!

So, what else has happened since the end of May? Jacko was cleared of all charges in the States which, regardless of whether you agree or not, at least got rid of the seemingly 24/7 coverage of the trial on the news. We also had what the media are calling 7/7 as England was hit by terrorism with the London bombs. Many in authority were stating that an attack on our shores was `inevitable` and so it proved as more than 50 lives were lost. We live 100+ miles from the big city and rarely go there more than twice a year, however we were there the day before the bombers struck which hit home a little more than it would normally. It must be something about us going to London as we were also there on September 11th 2001. Spooky.

On the entertainment front, three books have stood out this summer for thriller fans like myself. I've just finished Dead Run by P.J Tracy which is well worth it, especially if you've read her previous two efforts and sticking with the Americans, James Patterson remains on form with Honeymoon. Top of the list, even though I'm biased, was Mark Billingham's new Tom Thorne novel Lifeless. Again, try and read the others in the series first, however it's well worth a flick if you can't. I read it on hols in North Wales and thoroughly enjoyed it.

We've seen a few flicks at the cinema recently and whilst Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is for the future (a daughter who wants two friends over for a film/sleepover and who has a crush on Johnny Depp makes it unavoidable), easily the best we've seen lately was War Of The Worlds. Now, unless you've got a super-duper, top of the range home cinema system and, more to the point, understanding neighbours, then go see it at the flicks as it's EASILY the loudest film I've seen in ages. Out 11-year old daughter enjoyed it, although it certainly wouldn't appeal to those kids of a nervous disposition. The first hour or so is the best as the aliens appear and go on the rampage, however it deserves to be seen on the big screen, so shell out that fiver and go for it.

Do you like the new background colour? I know of at least one person who will! It was chosen in a highly scientific way by getting the honeycomb colour grid on screen and closing my eyes and clicking the mouse having whirled it around the screen for a few seconds. Of course, the grid isn't that big so after eleven failed attempts to click on it, I chose this colour anyway!

And finally, I'm changing the lyrics/quotes questions a little and including music/film/TV trivia questions or the odd cryptic teaser. The reason is two-fold really. Firstly, the lyrics and quotes are a little too easy to find the answers on the Net whereas questions won't be quite as straightforward - although that said, I'll be finding most of them online anyway, so they still won't be impossible - and secondly, I've become paranoid with copyright since being banned from publishing the fixture lists (of course, I only received the `naughty` email having spent HOURS typing out all the fixtures for every Prem club!) and therefore don't want to run the risk of a hot shot lawyer contacting me for using a quote from Jaws or a lyric from Motorhead (see, I told you that I was paranoid - I even have nightmares of Tom Cruise chasing me with a water pistol!). I'll still use quotes and lyrics, just not as often which means I'll do them when I can't find a decent question!

The build up to the new season starts tomorrow!

Tuesday 2nd August 2005
When England were knocked out of the 2002 World Cup, the BBC and ITV both played the same Oasis track as play-out music after the defeat against Brazil. Which track?
Stop Crying Your Heart Out: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Michael Owen scored his first ever Liverpool goal against which club?
Wimbledon: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Every now and again, a rumour which ultimately turns about to be far more, is firmly placed in the "Yeah, right!" file. Luis Figo from Barca to Real or Sol Campbell moving from Spurs to Arsenal for examples. For a while, the `Michael Owen to Man United` rumour has been doing the rounds, although now it would appear to be very much on the cards. The arrival of two more strikers at Real has opened the way for the England striker to make a return to England and with Arsenal and, more to the point, former club Liverpool, both ruling themselves out of the running, the way is open for United to make their move. This would be a double coup for United as firstly, last season was, by their high standards, pretty drab for goals with Ruud Van Nistelrooy either injured or mis-firing and Wayne Rooney doing well but not well enough to carry the entire weight of expectation of his still young shoulders. Equally, it may well pacify the hardcore of fans who are still somewhat peeved at the American invasion behind the scenes - or will it? Many will still remember Owen's over enthusiast `tackles` (especially an ankle breaker on Ronny Johnsen!) that led him to being sent off at Old Trafford whilst still wet behind the ears and the words of Jaap Stam a few years later that Owen's only asset was pace and if you counteracted that, then you stopped him! Of course, that's all the opinion of one person, however I know of a few United fans that will not be convinced by this probable transfer until he starts producing the goods.

We all write emails, probably on a daily basis, but what would be your biggest irritant about this relatively new form of communication? Maybe it would be the appalling spelling contained in them, of which I am as guilty as any, or perhaps the length of time that the damn things take to arrive sometimes. Well, according to the paper today, a recent survey found that most were annoyed by the over-use of CAPITAL LETTERS (I always thought that this was seen as shouting!) and the increasing use of abbreviations. Now, my personal pet hate might be included in the latter as I detest the sort of "How RU?" (How are you?) kind of mails that I occasionally receive. Please, keep this for texting where it originated.

Wednesday 3rd August 2005
"She smiled at me on the subway. She was with another man. But I won't lose no sleep on that, because I've got a plan." (Song lyric)
You're Beautiful - James Blunt: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Although Liverpool won the 1986 FA Cup Final with a team of non-English internationals, one player was born in Preston despite not representing England. Which player?
Mark Lawrenson: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Whilst Liverpool fans will doubtless be thrilled to see their side in the final qualifying round for the Champions League, I reckon there are still some underlying problems at Anfield. Not behind the scenes as such, however having watched the first half display against Kaunas last night, it was blatantly obvious that the players are not gelling together as the manager would have hoped. Okay, it's pre-season and that was by no means a first choice line up, but the performance was, at best, tepid against a side rated little more than below average. The arrival of Steven Gerrard and Djibril Cisse apparently livened matters up after the break and Mr Benitez will be praying that neither get injured as they do seem to be the two that make the side tick. I said `apparently` as I decided to watch the Celtic game for the second half, hoping against hope that Parkhead would witness a miracle and they almost did as Gordon Strachan's side came close to pulling off the mother of all European comebacks. Sadly, the game was lost in Slovakia last week. Close but no European cigar for my Scottish side.

Ref Poll In Booze Quiz!" So screamed the front page of at least one paper this morning. It would seem that top ref Graham Poll celebrated the end of a day on a fitness course by getting drunk, climbing on cars and throwing up in a hotel foyer. Fair enough, his behaviour, if indeed this is true, cannot be condoned, but in a way it's strangely gratifying to hear of such incidents. We seem to see match officials as robots who do little but ruin the game we loved (a bit like the rule makers at the top really), however ultimately they are only humans, some of whom probably enjoy a drink or four at the end of a hard day. So lets not be too harsh on Mr Poll who, at the ripe old age of 40-something, is only doing what many of us are likely to have done in our teens. That aside, I'll bet there will be a few terrace chants ready for him when he officiates next season!

Thursday 4th August 2005
Which classic Sci-Fi/Horror film had a foreign title in certain countries that translated into English as "The Eighth Passenger"?

Which overseas player won a Premiership winners medal in 1995 and then again four years later with a different club?
Henning Berg: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Another British club crashed out of Europe before the season has even begun last night as Newcastle were dumped out by Deportivo. Fingers of blame will be pointed at various individuals, however it should go no further than Sky's commentator Rob Palmer who set up the downfall midway through the first half. As the camera focused on Robbie Elliott, he launched into a mini ditty about the ex-Bolton man and how you always know what you'll get with him. Solid and dependable! The scene was then set for the defender to produce a horror back pass early in the second half and allow the Spanish side to score a second away goal, leaving Newcastle needing THREE more goals to go through. Joking aside, it's a shame for Elliott who'll make the same backpass dozens of times this season perfectly, and for the club as a whole who would have loved a good European run as they enjoyed last season. But it now won't happen and it must be hard for Alan Shearer to wake up this morning in the knowledge that he's played his last European fixture of his career. Maybe domestic silverware will make up for it.

Now and again a survey crops up which leaves you wondering (a) why bother in the first place and (b) how they actually come up with the results. You know the sort of things - people who use a certain shampoo are more likely to eat carrots or how those who drive a silver car (yes I do!) are more likely to win the lottery (no I haven't!). Today in The Sun, we have which sort of people are likely to wear which trainers! Now, I'll freely admit that designer trainers are an unknown quantity to me as I have no intention of splashing out half a weeks wages on shoes. However, the Nike Air Max 95 (!?!) are likely to be worn by those who keep up with the latest trends, although they are crowd-followers rather than trend-setters. Equally, Puma Mostros (!) are worn by wannabe celebs and those in the media, as well as dads trying to look trendy. Nearest to me is the Reebok Classic, worn by Mr Average, although I wonder what they'd make of my trainers - �7.99 in the market last summer and still going strong despite being worn on a daily basis. Probably that I'm a tight fisted old sod!!

Friday 5th August 2005
Which Simple Minds track was used as the main theme song for the film The Breakfast Club?
Don't You Forget About Me: Correctly answered by kirstymd

On the opening day of the 1990-91 season, which international was fined by his club after staging a half time protest by sitting in the six yard box?

I must admit that I was a little surprised at the transfer of Phil Neville from Man United to Everton yesterday. I dunno why, I guess that as he'd been at the club forever and a day, I couldn't see him leaving until he was 36 when he'd sign for Bury or Stockport! Instead, he follows David Beckham and Nicky Butt out of the club as the Young Guns of 1996 finally go their separate ways. Obviously he was surplus to requirements at United or Sir Fergie would not have let him leave, however his experience, especially in Europe could prove invaluable for his new club. Of course, this now adds extra spice to the opening game of the season as not only will Wayne Rooney return to Goodison, but Neville is likely to make his league debut against his former employers.

I watched most of the Amsterdam tourament last weekend, if only as I like the rule change that means that not only are the usual three for a win, one for a draw implemented, but clubs also get a point for each goal scored. Sadly, that didn't quite encourage the attacking play and goalfest that I'd hoped for, however it got me thinking about domestic competitions and how they would be affected. So at great time and no expense, I had a peek at the Prem table last season and whilst the most important things to bear in mind are that goals conceded are not taken into account and that the mentality for `points for goals` was not there, the most notable change is that Chelsea would NOT have been champions!
Chelsea 72 goals + 95 points = 167
Arsenal 87 goals + 83 points = 170
Man United would still have been third with 135, followed NOT by Everton (106), but by Liverpool who topped 110. Indeed Bolton (107) and Middlesbrough (108) would also have been above Everton. Most of the mid-table places would have remained the same, however Fulham who finished 13th, would have rocketed up the table with 96 points, more than Villa, Charlton and Birmingham, all of whom finished above the London side. At the bottom, Portsmouth (82) would have been clear, however West Brom, who escaped the drop by the skin of their teeth, would have gone down with 70. Safe would have been bottom club Southampton with 77 and also relegated Norwich with 75! Relegated Palace (74) would still have gone, as would....Blackburn also with 74! Interesting eh!

Saturday 6th August 2005
"That is so weird. The wind is blowing toward the storm." (Film)
War Of The Worlds (2005): Correctly answered by kirstymd

As regards the FA Cup, what unusual record did Bobby Kerr set in 1973?
He was the shortest winning captain at 5ft 4in tall: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

As the new Championship season gets under way, the first live game gave us a reminder of why football is so well loved - the sheer unpredictability of the game. Sheffield United beat Leicester 4-1 with a late three goal blitz, however that only told a fraction of the story as the visitors dominated for long spells, but simply didn't get the run of the decisions, or one in particular. The second penalty that put United 2-1 up was harsh to say the least as firstly the ball seemed to hit the defender on the top of his chest or shoulder rather than the hand and secondly, it came at him at such a pace that he couldn't do a lot about it anyway. The spot kick was converted and two more goals followed soon afterwards to wrpa the result up. Ironically, the referee had got in the way of a United clearing header in the build up to Leicester's equaliser, so maybe he was balancing things up. So there you have it, a few goals, dodgy decisions and a club winning against the run of play. Yes, football is well and truly back!

Nine yellow cards, one red, almost thirty shots at goal and the emergence of a superb new, young talent who will surely go on to bigger and better things. Just one thing was missing as Southampton hosted Wolves - goals! Yes, for all the chances created, not a single shot rippled the back of the net thanks to a combination of good goalkeeping and poor finishing. Equally, despite the cards being brandished like the start of a poker game, it was hardly a dirty game and most were for bitty, rather than cynical fouls. The new talent belonged to 16-year old Theo Walcott who came on as s sub with seventeen minutes to go and in the process became the youngest ever Saints player, beating the 25-year old record set by Danny Wallace. He looked good as well as he twisted and turned the away defence. It also had me thinking for any recent instances of such a wide age gap between team mates as 38-year old Dennis Wise had earlier came on a sub for Southampton as well and I couldn't recall any obvious 22 year gaps lately. So, Saints and Wolves start with a draw and both look good enough to back up the bookies claim that they'll be there or there abouts come May.

Sunday 7th August 2005
What is the family connection between one of the stars of Armageddon and the singer of the biggest hit to some from the soundtrack?
Liv Tyler is the daughter of Aerosmith ("I don't want to miss a thing.") lead singer Steve Tyler: Correctly answered by The Peanuts Gang

Millwall boss Colin Lee once scored four goals on his debut for which club?

Leeds 2 Millwall 1: Three points in our opening game is not to be sniffed at, however performances will need to improve against the better sides in the division. In truth, we dominated possession, especially in the first half, but rarely threatened the Millwall goal, aside from David Healy's well taken, back to goal, volley. At the back, we looked a little too hestitant and backoffish (is that a word?) and that uncertainly surfaced on the hour when newbie Dan Harding stuttered and lost a challenged out wide, resulting in Don Hutchison fizzing in an equaliser. At that point, I could see the Londoners going on to win and the headlines being written already of our demise. Thankfully it wasn't the case as a mistimed tackle handed us a penalty and Healy dispatched with all the panache of a Premiership striker. After that, although Millwall had plenty of the ball, we didn't look in danger and held on. Some points to note though: A half full (or should that be half empty) stadium was a bit disapointing. Yes, I know it's holiday time for lots of people and that Millwall fans were boycotting the game - and wasn't that an eerie experience when they scored - however, I would have hoped for more than 20,000, but who am I to talk watching back on the box. Next, Michael Ricketts looks more like the player he was at Bolton a few years back. Okay, he only had a brief spell at the tail end of the game, however last season he resembled the proverbial sack of spuds with the turning circle of the QE2, however he looks more slimline now, although it was a little worrying to see him out of puff after ten minutes. Another sub, Frazer Richardson looked excellent and should terrorise a few teams this season if he continues to run with the ball like that. And finally, it's worth mentioning the comic highlight of the game as Millwall's Adrian Serioux, a guy with an enourmous long throw, stepped back to make a run up for another presitious hoist into the area, and tripped over and went straight into the front row of the seating.

Arsenal 1 Chelsea 2: Thanks to the miracle of Sky +, I managed to screw up the recording of one of yesterday's games, so it was with some trepidation that I watched the Leeds game `as live` at 3:30pm today whilst it was taping the all London clash at Cardiff. This was down to a trip to Bristol this morning where we subsequently got held up on the M4 as Arsenal and Chelsea fans battled to get into Wales - and this was 40 miles from the Welsh capital!! Anyway, back to the point which was my watching the Community Shield before recording had actually finished which you cannot do with video tape....and then accidentally finding out the score when I checked on how the test match had ended! Subsequently, I fast-forwarded to the goals and saw two excellent goals from Didier Drogba, who arguably was the biggest flop last season as regards performance/transfer fee ratio is concerned. Today however, one goal that showed excellent control and a decent finish and a second that showed grit, power and determination and overall that should do him the power of good. That said, although Chelsea collect the first silverware of the new season (or is it the final trophy of last season?), I think it was the great Bill Shankly that said that winning the Charity Shield is not important, it's being in it that means something. The real battle begins in a week.

Monday 8th August 2005
"Life, it's ever so strange. It's so full of change. Think that you've worked it out then bang." (Song Lyric)
Jem - Just A Ride: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Which player scored six league goals for Leeds last season, including four in one game?
Brian Deane (Four v QPR): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

As I type, it's being reported that Rio Ferdinand has sign a new four year contract at Man United following months of to-ing and fro-ing and no quarter being given from either club, player or agent. The sticking point allegedly came over Ferdinand wanting an extra �10,000 or �20,000 a week, which considering some reports suggested that he was offered a six figure weekly wage, is absolutely laughable and greedy to the point of it being obscene. Many United fans clearly felt the same way as he'd been jeered by his own supporters during some pre-season games and you can fully understand the frustration they feel, especially as it's seen as a privilage to play for the club that they love - a club (and their fans) who stuck with him throughout his drugs ban of course. Currently, there's no mention of whether agent/player or club have backed down, however I'd be surprised if United were the ones to give way. It now remains to be seen how those fans treat Rio in the future. Will he still have a weight of greed on his shoulders or will the fans feel that, okay, he's signed, lets get on with it and support him. My guess again would be the latter, assuming he doesn't screw up again.

For a while now, my wife has been interested in the `Most Haunted` series that's been doing the rounds. Until recently, I've avoided it as it's really not my thing, however I have caught a few episodes and found it oddly enjoyable. For those not in the know, it involves a group of people, including a female presenter who is so jittery that she'd jump if a mouse farted, a Liverpudlian medium, a few sound engineers and cameramen and a parapschologist who is there to try and explain seemingly ghostly happenings in a logical manner. They visit various haunted places - pubs, houses, even theatres - during the day and then at night, try their utmost to `make contact`, sparking off ghostly movement, sounds, weird lights floating across the camera and, on one occasion, one of the group actually being attacking by a spirit. Now, I'm very much in the `sceptic` folder as regards these sort of happenings are concerned, especially with the sort of SFX now being used. I mean if they can destroy a city with effects, then a few taps on wood is elementary, so in that respect, I'd need proof, although that said, if any spirits are reading (hey, no-one says that they CAN'T use the Internet!), don't feel that you have to appear to me for proof! That all said, they are strangely watchable programmes and as someone who gets up for work in the middle of the night, they've obviously had more of an effect on me than I'd realised as having seen a few minutes of a spin-off last night when a group led by Gail Porter of all people (you remember, nude on the Houses of Parliment!) try to find the ghost of Alfred Hitchcock in San Francisco, I opened the door to go out of my computer room and one of our dogs obviously heard me. In his excitement, he jumped out (all out of my sight I should add) and his wagging tail crashed against a different door in the house. I freely admit that I almost jumped out of my skin!

Tuesday 9th August 2005
U2's hit Pride (In the name of love) was written as a tribute to which 1960's icon?

In the Prem last season (04-05) Chelsea failed to score home or away against just one team. Which one?
Man City (lost 1-0 away, drew 0-0 at home): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It's official! The best save in the history of football has been revealed. According to 4,000 fans voting on a football website, it's no surprise to hear that the winner was Gordon Banks's effort from Pele's header in the 1970 World Cup and to be fair, I wouldn't disagree with that. However, whilst it's good to see the efforts of keepers being rewarded as opposed to great goals, it's worth considering that many terrific saves have been made in games that haven't been televised around the country and indeed, the world, however it's always going to be the high profile and oft repeated saves (and goals of course) that are voted for. So, just to set the record straight, whilst Banks's save was obviously sensational, my personal favourite was the one that I made on the local playing field aged around 14. It was a superb one handed reaction diving tip away as the ball arrowed towards the top corner from a close range volley. Of course, there are two problems with this. Firstly, only around a dozen kids witnessed it and secondly, I'm biased!

With my having the day off yesterday, we decided to take advantage of the hot weather and nip off to the seaside which is around an hour away, even leaving fairly early to hopefully avoid the queues. This worked well until we were around ten miles away and found ourselves half a dozen cars behind an accident that had blocked the road. A quick diversion would have taken us in a different way, only to find that road also blocked by the police, although I have no idea why. A further detour took us miles out of the way and onto the motorway for one junction and hopefully, onto the seaside, but nope. As we got off the motorway, the sliproad was absolutely jammed and, believing that this was the queue to the seafront (as it seemed to be the only way into the town now!), we made the decision to go elsewhere once we got out of the jam, only to find that the delay was down to yet another accident at the end of the sliproad and that the journey into the town and seafront was clear as a bell, even though we were now in the middle of the morning. The beach itself was actually quite quiet as well, probably due to the fact that no-one could actually get into the town!

Wednesday 10th August 2005
"Get out of my way son, you're using my oxygen." (Film Quote)
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Which Liverpool legend was briefly manager of Cardiff in 1996?

It was fun whilst it lasted, however it would seem that Everton's Champions League campaign is over before it had really begun. Despite a sensational atmosphere, a decent performance and enough optimism to raise the proverbial roof, David Moyes's side couldn't quite cope with the quality of Villarreal. They played well in truth, especially first half, however two goals - two very good goals - slightly against the run of play, did the damage, notably the one on half time, just minutes after James Beattie had equalised. They never quite looked the same in the second half and certainly after the arrival of Duncan Ferguson from the bench, tended to resort to hoofing the ball in his direction and hoping for the best, a tactic which more often than not, was snuffed out by the Spanish side. So, whilst all is not lost, it's going to need something akin to a miracle of biblical proportions to go through to the group stages, unlike Man United, who have one foot and half of the other one there. I didn't see the game, but from what I gather, they did what they had to do against Debrecen, winning 3-0 in a match marred again by protests outside the ground from an estimated 700 United fans over the Glazer take over. Apparently the Glazer brothers were there, cheering on their team, but with the league season almost underway, this whole Glazer protest malarky is threatening to overshadow anything that the club does.

Many thanks to the kind soul who emailed me after Leeds beat Millwall, reminding me of how last season began. We were live on Sky and beat Derby 1-0 - we ended 14th and they finished in the play offs! After last night, I should have heeded the warning. A goal up at Cardiff - the team who I blame for starting our downfall after beating us in the FA Cup - we still managed to self destruct and lose, which in many ways is typically Leeds. On the plus side, Robbie Blake got off the mark having looked decidedly average on Sunday and we're still 100% at home, however on the down side, salt was rubbed into the wounds when it occurred to me that Peter Ridsdale is now behind the scenes at Cardiff. Talk about biting the hand that used to feed you! But am I bitter? Well, maybe just a tad!

Thursday 11th August 2005
"The sign that I couldn't read or a light that I couldn't see. Some things you have to believe, but others are puzzles, puzzling me." (Song Lyric)
Speed of Sound - Coldplay: Correctly answered by kirstymd

During Liverpool's epic Champions League campaign last season, they actually lost two games. Against which pair of clubs?

I missed the first 15 minutes of Liverpool's game in Sofia last night and even then, it took the rest of the first half to get used to the fact that the side in all red was actually CSKA. By that time, the damage was largely done anyway and it was good to see Fernando Morientes find his scoring touch again, clearly anxious to make up for missing the Champions League last season. So 2-1 up at half time and Phil Thompson back in the studio was panicking over the goal scored by CSKA right on half time, which I thought was a little OTT. Yes, the Bulgarians had looked quite good, however I couldn't see them scoring twice without reply at Anfield, or three times once Morientes had netted again after the break, so I guess Thommo was being a little too anxious for his own good. All told, Liverpool will be in the group stages again barring another biblical style resurrection and for once, they weren't over reliant on Gerrard and Cisse.

I'd never heard of Starcraft until yesterday, but apparently it's an online game where you can compete against other players - much like many other such games. This one is particularly popular in the Far East apparently where players spend literally DAYS at cyber-caffs and in front of their own PC's, trying to be the best. So I guess it had to happen that one guy in South Korea actually died of a heart attack having spent 49 HOURS - over two days - playing the game continuously!! It almost defies belief that anyone could do that, however with the children of today almost brought up with a video game culture, you shouldn't be overly surprised. That said, it might do some good if kids that are hooked on such games are told about the above tragedy - I doubt it, but maybe.

Friday 12th August 2005
"Who won an Oscar for Best Actor in 1991, despite having just 16 minutes of screen time in the relevant film?"
Anthony Hopkins (Silence Of The Lambs): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Who are the only club to play in all four `old` divisions (including both North and South in the 50s) as well as the Premiership and the Championship?
Coventry: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

One more day to go until the Prem kicks off and it's time for the usual round of `making a twit of myself`, aka The Predictions. So, after tipping Everton to go down last season, I'm determined to make a better job of it this time, so come back in May to check...

The Contenders

It won't take a genius with a crystal ball or that Liverpudlian chap from Most Haunted to predict who'll be battling for the top spot this season, the tricky matter is in what order they'll be! So, what of Chelsea? Champions last season with a sensational defensive record and an attack that had the ability to tear opponents to shreds - and that was all with Arjen Robben injured for long spells! Just one defeat tells it's own story, although I think they'll be hard pushed to match that this season. Jose Mourinho is an astute manager, however his one downfall might just be to place too much emphasis on Europe, much the same as Liverpool did last season. Ultimately, they may just end up with European success, at the expense of domestic glory.
Will Arsenal regret selling Patrick Vieira? Only time will tell and I cannot believe that Arsene Wenger would offload his captain without some kind of back up plan. Leading Prem scorer Thierry Henry remains the vital cog and if he stays injury free, anything is possible. The youngsters - Reyes, Fabregas, Senderos et al are coming on in leaps and bounds, but that original question will be the one most asked if the Gunners slip up this campaign?
Man United haven't won the league in two years - unheard of since the advent of the Premiership. Turmoil off the pitch with regular protests over the Glazer takeover doesn't seem to have unduly affected the players, which is a good sign for them. Signings have been largely uninspired with the exception of Edwin Van Der Sar who might well be a crucial purchase. Injuries last season to Wayne Rooney and, more to the point, Ruud Van Nistelrooy who mis-fired badly even when fit, were vital in United's second season as third best club and if they can both remain fit this time around, success could just be on it's way.
Liverpool - Yes, Liverpool!! - Champions League winners in the most astonishing way last season, yet sadly faltered in the league and only a re-write of the rules let them in to the top dogs competition this season. I think they'll have learned valuable lessons from last season and won't make the same mistakes and I fully expect them to be up there with the Big Three. Maybe not champions, but certainly closer than last season. The fact that Steven Gerrard dramatically stayed at the club is vital and with Cisse and Morientes seemingly finding their goalscoring touch, this surely must be a better season domestically for the Anfield side.
Therefore, my top four are:
1st: Man United 2nd: Chelsea 3rd: Arsenal 4th: Liverpool

European Hopefuls

So, who will make a fist of a possible Champions League place and who'll be fighting it out for a place in Europe? First up will be Spurs, who are already my team to be the most improved this season as regards league position. For too long they've been mid-table material, scoring plenty and conceding more. The fans long for the Glory Days of the 60s and 80s and even early 90s when Cup Finals were as common place as European football. They had a decent season last season once Martin Jol took the helm and with the likes of Defoe, Keane and Kanoute up front, will always score goals. The midfield will be vastly improved by the superb signing of Edgar Davids and the likes of Michael Carrick will only learn from him. This looks likely to be the campaign when European football lurks on the horizon for Spurs and I'd be amazed if they finished out of the top six.
Middlesbrough inched into the UEFA Cup last season courtesy of a last minute missed penalty and perhaps their league form suffered slightly thanks to their European campaign. Players and manager alike will have earned valuable experience from that and with the same scenario coming up this season, I think they'll do better. Much like Spurs, goals should not be a problem, it's just keeping them out which could be their downfall, however again like Spurs, top six for the Boro.
Man City will be kicking themselves for not getting into Europe last season, although with hindsight, they will look at the rapid rise up the table under new boss Stuart Pearce and realise that a relegation dog fight was on the cards until the final couple of months. Pearce finished the campaign brilliantly and had added new firepower in the summer with Andy Cole and Darius Vassell and will surely be challenging for a European spot all season. The only concern is that Spurs and Boro could well beat them to it.
Bolton did stunningly well to earn their first ever season in Europe, especially after years of being a yo-yo club and then relegation to mid-table strugglers. Sam Allardyce continues to work miracles from limited finances, however many of the long term players at the Reebok will not be used to the endurance needed to play domestic/Europe/domestic week in, week out and that could cost them. Top half certainly, but Europe could be beyond them this time.
5th: Spurs 6th: Middlesbrough 7th: Man City 8th: Bolton

Mid Table Respectability

The two second city rivals continue to be more intent on beating each other than doing well in the league. Birmingham remain a club who look unlikely to struggle, yet equally unlikely to challenge for a place in the top six. Steve Bruce is a decent boss, but cannot entice enough top quality stars to the club, although persuading Walter Pandiani to stay was a nice bonus. If Jermaine Pennant can keep out of trouble on and off the pitch, they could have an okay season, however I wouldn't expect any major surprises either.
Similarly, Aston Villa continue to flatter to deceive. Older fans will pine for the glory days of 1981 and 1982 where Peter Withe and Gary Shaw were gods, however boss David O'Leary has yet to really hit the heights that he did at Leeds (speaking of Glory Day, ho-hum!). Looking at their squad, it looks pretty small with only 22 players registered and the arrival of the likes of Patrick Berger is counteracted by the loss of Vassell. Youngsters Luke Moore and Liam Ridgewell will probably play a bigger part this time around and their level of success could depend of how well Kevin Phillips and Juan Pablo Angel gel together. But don't hold your breathe. Top half, just.
Blackburn could `do a Spurs` a surprise a few people this season. Boss Mark Hughes showed signs that he was getting a decent-ish side together in the second half of last season and if he can continue that gradual upward spiral, then the ever lingering relegation threat may not be so evident. Craig Bellamy is a very good signing and Hughes knows him from the Welsh set up, so there should be no Souness-style confrontations there. Robbie Savage is another key man and if he can keep out of trouble, I reckon that Rovers could be battling, not against the drop, but for a top half position.
Charlton boss Alan Curbishley has been at the club for around 647 years (okay, slight exaggeration) and you wonder if things are getting stale. They'll always get results, especially against clubs worse than them in the Prem and there are a few this season, however the dizzy heights of finishing seventh in 03-04 looks to be a one off. Their squad looks solid, but decidedly unexciting, although Franny Jeffers is surely due a good season eventually, and although at the very worse they'll be above the drop zone, lower mid-table looks likely for the South Londoners.
On which note, West Ham are back, albeit against the odds and perhaps too soon according to some of their fans. Boss Alan Pardew has little experience of management in the top flight, however plenty of their players have, notable Teddy Sheringham who is surely playing his last season. Keeper Roy Carroll is likely to be a busy man, however he's `been there, done that` with Man United and although he's prone to the odd balls up, I still rate him as a solid enough goalie. A mix of youth (Anton Ferdinand) and experience (Teddy, Steve Lomas, Christian Dailly) could be enough to give the Hammers a finish that's above the main relegation battle, but inconsistent enough never to challenge for a place in the top half.
A Portsmouth fan told me during the summer that the best thing about last season was seeing Southampton relegated! In truth, it wasn't an easy season with Harry Redknapp leaving for the Saints and then a good result being followed by a poor one. Subsequently they didn't look likely to go down, although it was always on the horizon. This season should be a little better, if only because the new manager has had time to get used to the English game and his squad, of which Laurent Robert looks to be the key summer arrival. Overall though, the best thing about this season could be Southampton staying down.
I've left Everton until last in this section as I really am stumped by them. If, as looks likely, they end up in the UEFA Cup rather than Champions League, then it may be a blessing in disguise, although my concern remains that the manager and many of the players are inexperienced in Europe and that the constant two games a week syndrome will not be easy. A lot depends on Tim Cahill, who was superb last season and, more to the point, James Beattie, as goals were not easy to come by, despite their lofty finishing position. They need a 15+ goal a season man and if Beattie can provide, they could be challenging for Europe again, but not top four. If not, then they could end up lower half.
9th: Everton 10th: Aston Villa 11th Blackburn 12th: Birmingham 13th: Charlton 14th: Portsmouth 15th: West Ham

Mind The Drop

Okay, lets get one thing straight. Of all the predictions, I hope I'm wrong on Newcastle. Behind the scenes problems, out of the InterToto Cup before the season even started and all the prospects of a long, hard season ahead for Alan Shearer and co. It's a shame especially with it being Shearer's last campaign before hanging up his playing boots, but I can see little light at the end of a long tunnel for a club in turmoil. Bellamy's has moved on, as has Robert and there in a nutshell is one problem, with two inconsistent, yet excellent players on their day, out of the door. To pull out a clich�, boss Graeme Souness seems to have lost the dressing room and with deals for Anelka and Coco falling through, not to mention Jermaine Jenas being linked with a move away, things are not looking brighter. As I said, I hope I'm wrong, but it won't be a pretty sight for Toon fans this season and Souness remains my favourite for being the first Prem manager sacked this season.
Fulham may not be in the sort of turmoil that Newcastle are, but it seems that the likes of Steed Malbranque and Luis Boa Morte are being linked with others clubs on a daily basis and that cannot be good. After all, there's no smoke with the proverbial fire. Boss Chris Coleman remains one of the youngest (the youngest?) in the Prem and this season will arguably be his toughest so far. The squad really doesn't stand out and after the above pair, only Papa Bouba Diop and Zak Knight stand out. They'll need to rely on beating the clubs that are in the same section here on a regular basis and if they do, the battle against the drop will not be quite as bad, but it won't be an easy ride anyway.
West Brom performed absolute heroics at the end of last season and somehow stayed up and in a perverse way, the experience should help boss and players alike this season, as they'll not want a repeat of the final day again. They may, and I emphasise MAY, be lucky in that there are, on paper, worse clubs than them in the league, and the key may well be at the back rather than up front as they don't actually look that bad in the attacking department. They'll hope for a better first half to the season this time and if they can continue their form of the last 2-3 months of last season, then there's genuine hope.
Sunderland have been here before, more than once, and boss Mick McCarthy has done amazingly well to transform a club from one that suffered a record number of defeats to one that won the Championship with honours last season. The arrival of Alan Stubbs should solidify their defence and it'll be interesting to see how Andy Gray does in the top flight after a good run with Sheffield United last season. That said, the squad has no stand out qualities and their ability to stay in the Prem depends a lot on the manager and beating the other clubs in a similar position. I fear that it won't be quite enough.
And finally, to Wigan. New boys in the Prem, although boss Paul Jewell has been here before with Bradford and kept them afloat! Can he do the same with Wigan? Well, he has a chairman who supports the club and is willing to splash the cash and he has a squad that proved last season that they can play decent football and score goals. Of course, the top flight is a different matter altogether and the squad is largely devoid of players with Prem experience, Per Frandsen being the primary exception. That ultimately maybe their downfall and although I don't think they'll be out of it by Easter and they'll probably surprise a few unsuspecting teams, they are likely to be another Swindon and Barnsley and have one season in the top flight only.
16th: Newcastle 17th: West Brom 18th: Wigan 19th: Fulham 20th: Sunderland

Saturday 13th August 2005
"Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple. (Film quote)"
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971): Correctly answered by kirstymd

In 1908-09, which club set the record for the biggest DEFEAT in a Championship winning season? They were beaten 9-1 at home to Sunderland and went on to become title winners?

The first Prem table of the season, albeit with four clubs yet to play, sees two London teams at the top. No real surprise there until you realise that they are Charlton and West Ham, indeed the Hammers are only off the top due to a last minute Charlton goal that put them into the leaders place due to alphabetical order! Yes, it's all started again, three 0-0 draws and three red cards made it a mixed bag, but the plaudits certainly go to the aforementioned capital clubs. The Hammers in particular did well to come from behind and beat one of my `most improved` teams, Blackburn. Nice to see Teddy Sheringham still scoring goals at 39 as well, there's hope for us all eh! Whilst one promoted team was doing well, another, Sunderland, were being put to the sword at home to Charlton, who dominated and won 3-1, despite a debutant goal from Andy Gray (no, not that one!). As I feared, it looks to be a long, hard season ahead for the Wearsiders.

No major shocks elsewhere with Spurs winning at Portsmouth and Aston Villa and Bolton sharing four goals in the first nine minutes. My sod and his law then took over to ensure that no more goals would hit the net (despite one `offside` goal being clearly ONside) for the remaining 81 minutes. Of course, as goals rattled in at Villa Park, they failed to do so at Craven Cottage, The City of Manchester Stadium and, in the later game at the Riverside, although that did at least have the bonus of a red card to enliven matters. Speaking of that game, what on earth possessed the Liverpool boss to start with Cisse on the bench and then bring him on to play on the right flank? Far be it for me to question a Champions League winning manager, but it did seem a bit odd and negative.

Man United netted the first goal, and win, of the new season with victory in a tricky tie at Everton. The 2-0 win gave a good indication of how the game went, although it did take an absolute howler of a pass from Joseph Yobo to gift Wayne Rooney a goal on his own stamping ground which effectively ended the match as a contest. It was pretty apparent that there's little love lost between the clubs with tackles flying in left, right and centre and new Evertonian Phil Neville getting himself booked for a tackle on Park Ji-Sung, who looks a good purchase, albeit a little lightweight. In many ways, he's Cristiano Ronaldo without the stepovers and dives!

Finally, a word on Leeds. It's a sad sign of the times that a goalless draw at Luton is treated with enthusiasm from yours truly, especially as every time that Sky seemed to go over to Kenilworth Road, it was `all Luton`. Four years ago, we were playing Real Madrid and Lazio....!

Sunday 14th August 2005
Which film had the working title of "Planet Ice" before it's new title was announced in 1997?

Wigan reached the QF of the FA Cup for the only time in their history in 1987, however which current Premiership manager scored the only goal of their fifth round win against Norwich?

Arsenal 2 Newcastle 0: A win for Arsenal, albeit late on, and the first real controversy of the season over the red card to Jermaine Jenas. In truth, all three of yesterday's straight reds were justified, however I'm not even convinced that the tackle by Jenas on Gilberto Silva was a foul, let alone a red card! His leg played the ball and only his trailing leg caught the Arsenal man, who then went down as though he'd been polaxed. Jenas could hardly halt his momentum and I reckon he was very unlucky to see red, especially when you see it from one certain angle and that the referee's view was totally blocked as the challenge came in. To give Newcastle credit, they frustrated Arsenal until one moment of lax defending and inexperience gave away a penalty. After that, it was never likely to be a contest. So, Arsenal off and running, but Newcastle can take great heart from the game and will surely appeal against the dismissal of Jenas.

Wigan 0 Chelsea 1: On paper and in reality, this could have been Slaughter of the Innocents. As it was, it was almost an almighty shock for the Premiership Champions and surely I couldn't have been the only viewer yelling `Play It!` as Wigan broke clear with a minute left and the scores goalless. Ultimately, the ball was played and sub Johansson shot over, only for Chelsea to go up the other end and score a brilliant winner from Hernan Crespo. Again, I surely wasn't the only person to feel desperatly sorry for the Prem new boys. Their day will come though, especially against weaker opponents and if they continue to play like that, they'll have more than a fighting chance of staying up. For now, they can console themselves with the fact that they came within 39 seconds of holding the current Champions.

Monday 15th August 2005
Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Huey Lewis and The News and Jennifer Rush all had hits with which song title in the 80s?
The Power Of Love: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Five players have scored goals for five different Premiership clubs, however who is the only foreign star to do it?
Benito Carbone: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Premiership Referee In Common Sense Shock!: Yes, it's true as referee Steve Bennett requested that his red card shown to Jermaine Jenas yesterday be downgraded to a yellow. Of course, this is the right course and action and his recognition that a mistake was made in his judgement should be applauded, however this remains a bit of a double edged sword. Don't get me wrong, he's don't precisely the correct thing, although who knows whether the result of the match would have been the same had he got it right yesterday, however this is sort of an opt-out-clause for referee's who know that if a mistake is made, all can be put right the following day with an admission that they cocked up. It's a step in the right direction, but taking a little more time (see how quickly the red was brandished yesterday) over decisions and enlisting the help of their assistants, who be hugely advantageous. Sadly, the assistants seem to feel that their sole purpose in the game is to signal offsides and throw ins.

I didn't notice it before, probably as I was uttering something myself at the time, however when Hernan Crespo netted that very late winner at the JJB yesterday, Sky's Martin Tyler, a commentator who I rate hugely, let him usually normal unbiased shield slip. Like many others, he was hoping that Wigan could cling on for an unlikely draw, so when Crespo's shot found the net, he stated quite simply, "Oh no!" This was quickly followed by the get out of, "....for Wigan. But not for Chelsea." Great stuff.

Tuesday 16th August 2005
Large sections of which war movie of the 80s was filmed on location in London, despite being set in Vietnam?

Which club holds the Prem record for rapid scoring when they scored four times in under five minutes in a game in February 1993?
Spurs in a 4-2 win against Southampton: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It looks as though Alan Smith is in trouble with the FA again. Not for something that he did, but for what he didn't do. The former Leeds man was called up to the England squad at the weekend, however he turned it down due to lack of fitness, feeling that 90 minutes for Man United reserves would be better in the long term than a bit part against Denmark. Fair enough as far as I'm concerned. It's a sensible enough decision made by a person who knows his own fitness better than anyone. It's a shame therefore that FA bigwig Brian Barwick felt the need to have a dig at Smith, stating that it was "not the cleverest thing that he's done!" Why? Because he turned down England due to the fact that his fitness wasn't 100%? Seems like common sense to me. Oh, and just to cap it off, Smith scored in a 3-0 win.

Have you see these new air fresheners that are doing the rounds? Air Wick isn't in an aerosol as is traditional, well it is actually, but it's in a case where you can set it to spray out a puff of smellies every 9, 18 or 36 minutes to keep the appropriate room smelling fresh. In my wisdom, I've got one in my computer room and whilst I'm used to it now, I couldn't believe how loud it is if, like me, you have it fairly near where you are sitting. There's no warning, just a sudden mini-jet of spray that spurts out, sounding like a baby sneezing (yes, really!). More than once, one of dogs has been sat or led near it and been terrified by the sudden noice that emits from it. These lethal things need to carry a health warning!

Wednesday 17th August 2005
"The fire fades away. Most of everyday is full of tired excuses, but it's too hard to say." (Song lyric)

When Wales beat England 4-1 in 1980, which England player netted an own goal to score the fourth Welsh goal?

I don't really know how best to describe England's defeat in Copenhagen tonight. Sky's Trevor Francis called it `humiliation`, whilst commentator Martin Tyler gave the kiss of death as they entered stoppage time by stating, "At least England haven't conceded four!" You could almost bet on what happened next. So, a 4-1 defeat away to Denmark and suddenly the warning bells are ringing with away trips to Wales and Northern Ireland coming up, however I still maintain that England will win both games and qualify for WC2006 with ease. That said, there were worries tonight as this was largely a first choice England side that were crushed in the last half an hour with a four goal blitz, but then, despite my dislike of International friendlies, that's precisely what they are for, to find weak points in the set up and eliminate them before the meaningful games. I only saw the second half, but it was painful at times to watch a defence crumble as often as they did and maybe Francis was right when he stated that the senior players struggle to find motivation for the friendly games, knowing that their places are safe. A few may well be having second thoughts about the safety of their positions now!

I know it's rare for me to write about a game on the same evening, however a combination of an early kick off and us having a day out at Chessington World Of Adventures near London made it the obvious thing to do. We'd been to CWOA a couple of times before and although it's not the best for `intense` rides, it still has more than enough to keep the family happy. My daughter and her friend went on the Vampire (a `hang from` rollercoaster rather than a `sit down` traditional one) three times, whilst I did it twice. We also got wet more than once due to wet rides, however the scorching hot day meant that it didn't really matter. Among all that, the ride that I hated the most was one that went at the pace of a snail with a limp! I am petrified of heights, so when tribe wanted to go Peeking Heights - a sort of mini-London eye - I took a glance and thought that it didn't look too high - wrong! Okay, it was `only` 85 feet, but that was plenty high enough for me and I spent most of the time at the top clinging firmly to the pole in the middle of the pod. I'd probably have been okay if it was continuously moving, but it stopped for a couple of minutes at a time to allow people to get on and off on the bottom pod and subsequently we were stationary at the top for what seemed like half an hour, even though it was only a couple of minutes. So, with everyone else yelling at what they could see, my eyes were firmly focused on my shoes!

Thursday 18th August 2005
Which unique Jim Carrey film is set in the fictional town of Seahaven
The Truman Show: Correctly answered by kirstymd

In the mid 80s and early 90s, the Full Members Cup later become the Simod Cup and then turned into which other `sponsored` cup for it's final three years?
Zenith Data Systems Cup: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Apparently, Michael Essien is in England today to complete his transfer to Chelsea from Lyon. Thank goodness for that! There's always a couple of rumours-transfers during the summer that drag on and on and ultimately get on your wick and this has been one of this pre-season's without a doubt. I must admit that I know little about the Ghanian aside from the odd clips shown on Sky, so can't really judge as to whether this looks likely to be a good signing or not. What it does do, it put a little more pressure on both player and manager when you consider that having spent �24m on Didier Drogba last season, who really didn't perform, they have now splashed out another �26m on one more player. If Essien fails to make the grade expected - and at that price, the expectations are high - then that could by �50m spent on two proverbial white elephants. Of course, he could end up winning Player Of The Year and everyone is talking about a bargain, but the risks are high and Jose Mourinho has again put his head on the chopping block.

Saturday 20th August 2005
"Girl, you know you got me, got me. With your pistol shot me, shot me." (Song Lyric)

Arsene Wenger takes charge of his 500th Arsenal game tomorrow. Who were the opponents for the first?

Sorry for the lack of a diary yesterday. Long story, mundane and boring so I won't go into it. Back to normality today though and quite an interesting in the Prem!!

Man United 1 Aston Villa 0: Two wins out of two for United and yet to concede, yet they really don't look as though they are firing on all cylinders, which is a danger sign for the rest of the league! Plenty of possession in the first half led to just two decent chances and a couple of half chances and it was similar after the break, although this time they did find the net via Ruud Van Nistelrooy. I dunno whether they are continuing from last season where goals seemed hard to come by or whether they are simply struggling to find anything above second gear. Whichever way, they are getting the results and are 100% so far, so who am I to criticise?

Birmingham 1 Man City 2: United's cross-city rivals are seemingly on the up and are also still unbeaten. There's little doubt that Stuart Pearce has worked wonders since taking over and although there were basic mistakes from both clubs today, City still look pretty good and, under Pearce, are defending better than under Kevin Keegan. The masterstroke may yet be the one to sign Andy Cole who scored an excellent winner today, proving that there is still life in the old dog yet. As for Birmingham, their draw at Fulham last week was respectible, yet I cannot imagine many Blues fans being happy with today's result and performance. Room for improvement for Steve Bruce and his players.

Elsewhere in the Prem, all credit to that pair of London clubs. No, not that pair, I mean Spurs and Charlton who both remain 100% this season with home wins today. Spurs needed a bit of luck apparently to beat Middlesbrough thanks to a Taibi style howler from Mark Schwarzer, but they all count. What is it with Newcastle and Jermaine Jenas? Sent off last week for a tackle that was a booking at worst, now he was involved in a red card shown to West Ham's Paul Konchesky. No blame on Jenas I should add, but it was an awful decision by all accounts as Konchesky played the ball. Expect an apology and a red card rescinded from ref Dermot Gallager on Monday.

And so to Leeds! Up against the promotion favourites who'd not lost in a club record 21 games, therefore I would have been happy with a home draw. At half time, we were ahead, despite Wolves dominating apparantly and even after the break, they were the better side...until Rob Hulse popped up to annoy Wolves fans (as a former Baggies player!) and score the second. And that was that. Played four, won two, although both have been at home admittedly. Still, for now at least, things aren't looking too bad, until the next game anyway!

Football remains an odd game, so when Bristol City, who'd not scored all season, hosted Port Vale who'd only conceded one all season, you wouldn't have expected City to be FOUR up after 28 minutes - but they were! Vale did pull two back before half time, but that was that and I know of at least one customer in the shop tomorrow who'll be pleased that the League One table is no longer upside down.

Finally, game on the day was surely the SPL game at Motherwell where the home side blew a 4-2 lead to lose 5-4 to Dundee United. I'll bet the defensive coaches at either club were having kittens!

Sunday 21st August 2005
Graham McPherson is better known as the lead singer to which 80s band?
Madness (Suggs): Correctly answered by kirstymd

When Chelsea last beat Arsenal in the league back in 1995, which future Blues manager was in the team?

Bolton 0 Everton 1: Not the best of games in truth between two clubs who exceeded expectations last season and maybe that's the problem, that we somehow expect more from them. Both clubs managed to cancel each other out and when we did get attempts on goal, they were off target for the most part, especially from Bolton who I believe managed two from fifteen on target at one stage. The goal, when it arrived from Marcus Bent, was well taken, yet it arrived from a long, hoisted ball forward, something that was evident throughout the game, yet I guess if it eventually produced a goal, then I shouldn't complain. Okay, Bolton were unlucky late on, especially when Diouf almost demolished the crossbar, but the highlight was surely seeing boss Sam Allardyce having a real go at Jay-Jay Okocha from the sidelines after he'd struck a late free kick into the wall. I think the phrase was, "Jay-Jay! What the f**k was that!!"

Chelsea 1 Arsenal 0: Battle of the Giants. Clash on the Titans. Call it what you want, but overall it left me a little flat. It's asking too much to expect a rash of goalscoring chances or edge of the seat excitement, but with the talent on display, it seemed more like a pre-season work out as both clubs probed and poked, with only occasional chances. It was somewhat ironic that the winner came courtesy of an outrageous stroke of luck from Didier Drogba, who mis-controlled the ball into the net! But then, they all count. Neither club have really hit the heights that we know they can yet, especially Chelsea who look comfortable at the back, but tepid up front and that includes last week at Wigan as well. It remains to be seen how much of a bearing this will have on the title race, however at present, we have four of the top five clubs from London. I wonder when that last happened? Finally, has there ever been a trio of subs that cost more than Chelsea's three today? Drogba (�24m), Wright-Phillips (�21m) and Essien (�24m). A grand total of �69m! That's some subs bench!

Monday 22nd August 2005
"You've got a little worry, I know it all too well. I've got your number. But so does every kiss-and-tell, who dares to cross your threshold." (Song lyric)

When Sammy McIlroy left Maccelsfield in 2000, which other ex-Man United star briefly took over in charge?

Bit of a black mark today for Everton after Alan Stubbs revealed that he left the club in the summer as they wanted to include a `cancer clause` in his contract. In a way you can see Everton's point and apparently they would have removed the clause had Stubbs gone to a specialist, yet equally you can see the player's point of view. Okay, he had, and overcame, testicular cancer a few years back and full credit to him for that, so you really can't help feeling that the club maybe over-reacted a little. Indeed, had the situation been a member of the public and a top name company, the papers would probably have been all over it quoting human rights act, so in many ways, Everton are off lightly. You do get the impression that the club may well think twice over how to word contract clauses in future though.

Ever have one of those days where the slightest little thing going wrong has a chain reaction throughout the day? As it's my day off, I planned on getting all my computer bits done early and have the rest of the morning free before a hospital appointment this afternoon. Great idea until my daughter's keyboard screwed up and when you pressed `d` for example, `9h` would appear instead!! Having checked all the settings, drivers and troubleshooters, I felt the best way was to swap hers with mine, which was fine as her PC was working ok...unlike mine! The same problem persisted on my PC, leaving me able to do absolutely everything on the computer, except type! With my trying to find an answer, time became shorter by the minute and I ultimately admitted defeat and felt that for the sake of �12, my sanity is better off with a new keyboard. Subsequently, it's now almost 5pm and I'm still updating the site and answering emails. Moral of the story? Don't plan your day off in advance!

Tuesday 23rd August 2005
In 1993, which film saw Sir Richard Attenborough in his first acting role for 15 years?
Jurassic Park: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Southend's record transfer fee paid AND received are both for the same player, but who?
Stan Collymore: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

The first domestic cup competition got underway last night with a game that could have been a giant killing, but ultimately went to plan with Southampton running out easy 3-0 winners at Southend. In many ways, I enjoyed it more than either of the Prem games from Sunday, if only due to the chances created, even if the quality of play was naturally lower. What was evident is that despite being in the top flight for almost 30 years, relegation has meant that Saints have become as relient on young talent as the likes of Southend, even if that was hardly a first choice line up last night. We saw Dexter Blackstock briefly last season, although Nathan Dyer was a new one on me. That all said, the underlying problem remains the same in that bringing on talented youngsters is great, but keeping them away from the top clubs is another matters altogether.

Interesting story in the early editions of The Sun today - twice! It appears first on page 30 and then as a larger article in the sports pages on page 59 as is regarding a womens football team in Belgium that lost 50-1 after their goalkeeper decided to watch a rock concert instead. The team - SK Berlaar - had a reserve keeper in goal and she conceded the first goal after just FOUR seconds and it was all downhill after that until half time when they were 27-0 behind! Things got better after the break though as they only let in 23 more and SCORED one! Great story, but reading once would have been fine.

Wednesday 24th August 2005
"Last night I had a dream about you. In this dream I'm dancing right beside you and it looked like everyone was having fun." (Song Lyric)
Digital Love - Daft Punk: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Including replays, which stadium has staged the most FA Cup Semi-Finals?

Liverpool 0 CSKA Sofia 1 (Agg 3-2): On first reflection, it would seem that this was a poor result for Liverpool and taking aside the fact that they went through on aggregate - it WAS a bad result! I could be kind and say that it was not their strongest line up and that they did what they had to do to get through on the back on a great result two weeks ago. Then again, I could be cynical and add that it's obvious that they don't have the strength in depth should injuries and suspensions kick in and that their performance was below par, with the exception of new siging Sissoko who looked impressive. That all said, Liverpool are in tomorrow's draw for the group stages and that's all they would have wanted back in July when they kicked off against TNS. Hopefully they'll raise their game against stronger clubs, as they did last season.

Manchester Top The Table! Nothing too unusual about that, except that on this occasion, it's CITY that head the Premiership, at least until tonight's games anyway. Their 2-1 win at Sunderland was no major shock, although having seen bits of the game on Football First, the Black Cats were a little unlucky and guilty of wasting chances. The main talking point came at Fratton Park when Nol Solano was sent off early on for Villa for elbowing Richard Hughes in the chops. I have some sympathy for Solano as, whilst he definately caught the Portsmouth man, he was having his shirt pulled as he tried to get away and it could be argued that he was simply trying to shake the defender off. Of course, justice was partially done when Hughes was booked and, from the resulting free kick (awarded against him!), he nodded into his own net! Finally, in Boro's 3-0 win at Birmingham, did you see Mark Viduka's second goal? Wow! Shame he didn't do that for us in his last few games rather than get himself sent off - twice! Still, no hard feelings eh....

Thursday 25th August 2005
It Must Have Been Love (Roxette) and The King Of Wishful Thinking (Go West) were both on the soundtrack to which film?
Pretty Woman: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Pascal Cygan joined Arsenal from which French club?
Lille: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Everton and Man United: Last night's Champions League games went much to plan, although Everton can feel a little unlucky from their efforts in Spain. Although a 4-2 aggregate defeat against Villarreal will be in the record books, it doesn't tell the entire story. I didnt see the game (well past my bedtime!), but they had a goal harshly disallowed and were just one goal away from extra time until the final minute. They do have the consolation of the UEFA Cup and I hope they do well, although I still have nagging doubts that their league form may suffer. As for United, a comfortable win in Hungary against Debrecen was no surprise as they wrapped up a 6-0 aggregate win, however what odds on Gabriel Heinze scoring, not only the first goal, but the first TWO! About as likely as the devil ice-skating to work I'd guess. One last thing, didn't the C5 commentators get a little too concerned that the Hungarian side were on a verge of a comeback early in the second half. At the time, they would have needed five goals to win! Yeah right, and a left back will score twice for United!!

The Big Guns Fire! :So far, Arsenal and Chelsea have been moderately good rather than spectacular, however both hit form last night as Fulham and West Brom respectively were hit for four goals. On the night that Heinze went goal mad for Man Utd, Pascal Cygan followed suit as he emulated Thierry Henry's brace, although the latter is still considerably further ahead overall and only one goal away from equalling Ian Wright's record. Another two goal man was Frank Lampard who celebrated with the now traditional (i.e dull) celebration of rocking the baby after he became a Dad on Monday to Luna, meaning moon in Spanish apparanetly, and continuing the trend of calling kids by wierd names. Still, at least he didn't do a Gweneth/Coldplay and call his child after a fruit. "This is Apple and her sister Banana!" Another red card for Blackburn, fully justified as well as Lucas Neill wanted the changing room to himself for twenty minutes and after a blatant headbutt failed to attract the attention of the officials, he did it properly with a late tackle. If at first you don't succeed... Finally to Newcastle who slipped up again at Bolton. Strange that boss Graeme Souness should be `under pressure` already after three games, but he is. Boy, do they need a Michael Owen. The thing is, does Owen want them?

Friday 26th August 2005
The actor playing the serial killer in which 90s film is not listed at all in the opening credits, but is first in the closing credits?

Who are the only club to have won the European Cup/Champions League more times than their domestic league?
Nottm Forest: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Football Goes To Hollywood: I hoped that I could catch yesterday's Champions League draw before going back to work at 3:45pm and as it `started` at 3pm, I felt that I had a chance. So, tuning in at ten past three to avoid all the usual introductions, I stumbled across some football version of the Oscars, just as Petr Cech was being presented with the `Best Keeper` award. More followed, and I wondered if I had the right day, let alone the correct channel and it only occured to me afterwards how naive I'd been to expect it to start when stated. Much of it was pre-planned with no Oscar-style surprises (or crying thankfully!) and even the questions from Jim Rosenthal, a chap who'd I'd forgotten aboyt until I saw him, and the various answers from the stars seemed to be pre-arranged. I think the giveaway was when the questions came in English and the answers in Portuguese, with no translation in between! Oh, and Jim glancing down every few seconds at his podium where I assume the answers were written! As for Steven Gerrard winning Most Valuable Player, fine by me, however MVP??? Has Mr Glazer had a further influence? As American as it comes, surely MVP could have been Champions League Player of the Season or similar?

Written In The Stars: It had to happen didn't it? Liverpool and Chelsea in the same group was almost inevitable, although I'm assuming that the draw itself was all above board as I had to go to work by the time it started. It's not an easy one either with Anderlecht and Real Betis making up the numbers. I'll be optimistic and predict that both will go through, although whilst Chelsea will sail through, Liverpool will need to have qualification sorted by the time they face the Blues at Stamford Bridge in the final matchday. What odds on someone yelling foul if either or both clubs need a result in that game? Man United will welcome back Diego Forlan and his Villareal side and he'll surely score in one of the games against his former club. United will probably have qualification wrapped by after matchday four and then lose their final two games to finish second and face Real Madrid in the last 16. As for Arsenal, they should have few problems, although we've said that before haven't we? Ajax are the main threat, whilst Sparta Prague should not provide any headaches. I know nothing about Thun expect that it's nice and easy to type on the keyboard!

Saturday 27th August 2005
"Here comes the rain again falling from the stars. Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are." (Song lyrics)

Which FA Cup winning manager of the 70s was manager at Sunderland for two years in the 80s?

Battle At The Top: Spurs hosted Chelsea today as the top two clubs met at White Harte Lane and something had to give. Ultimately, it was Ahmed Mido of Spurs who was sent off, apparently unluckily, for an elbow on Asier Del Horno. Of course, salt is rubbed in when the Chelsea man opens the scoring. It ended 2-0 to Chelsea, but Spurs should not be downbeat after this as their time will come this season, of that I'm sure. Naturally, I cannot mention this game without pointing out about `that` jinx as it's now something like 32 games since Spurs last beat Chelsea in a league match. It must feel like 32 years to Spurs fans.

Battle At The Bottom: As the top pairing met in London, the bottom duo did the same in the North West as Wigan collected their first ever Premiership points with a win against Sunderland, who've now not won in the top flight since 1787. It must feel like a massive millstone around the neck of the club and boss Mick McCarthy and it does irk me somewhat that people still go on about it. It's as if they ignore what happened last season and how the club turned it's fortunes around superbly. Like Spurs, their time will eventually come this season, although whilst they are playing well, they still remain my favourites for the drop.

And Also... A good win for Birmingham in the local derby at West Brom who have now conceded seven in their last two games, admittedly four against Chelsea. Equally, Man City continue their good start by coming from behind against Portsmouth, who are still struggling this season. Everton continued to be up and down as they slipped up against Fulham and had that nice new signing Phil Neville sent off, although I did notice Sky slip up by calling him Gary! Milan Baros showed Liverpool what they are missing with a debut goal to beat Blackburn and finally, Bolton had a decent result with a win at West Ham for whom Teddy Sheringham increased his record as oldest ever Prem goalscorer!

1000 Up! Bury finally did it today! Their opening goal in the 2-2 draw against Wrexham was their 1000th in the fourth tier of the English league, making them the first ever club to net 1000 goals in all four league divisions in England. Oh, and thanks to Matt for alerting me to this a fortnight ago!

Dizy Heights: Don't be alarmed, the Championship table is not upside down and yes that really is Leeds in FOURTH place! The win at Norwich was expecially sweet as we never seemed to win at Carrow Road in the Prem's early days, although we were the ones to officially relegate them in 1995. Of course, my nerves weren't helped when, having left for work quickly at 5pm, believeing we had won 1-0, the shop radio announced the result as 1-1! Thanks Impulse Live, an apology would have been nice.

Sod Ye: There should be some interesting conversations among the nine Sodje siblings over the next few days. Akpo Sodje hit a hat trick for Darlington at Chester, although his day ended with disappointment as the hosts scored two late goals to earn a 4-4 draw. However, further South in the big local derby in my neck of the words, Efe Sodje was sent off as Yeovil crashed 4-2 at Swindon.

Sunday 28th August 2005
Which film, whilst shown as in-flight films on aeroplanes, had a scene cut where one of the main characters reeled off stats about air accidents?

Which two clubs are the only ones to have won the league title in each of the four English divisions?

Middlesbrough 0 Charlton 3: This result went totally against my pre-season predictions, although you can only wonder how a team can play so well and win at Birmingham in midweek, yet have their own fans jeering in frustration just four days later. But lets not take anything away from Charlton who remain 100% and totally deserved the win. Yes, Boro were poor and reminded me of Leeds the year we went down in that they had plenty of decent players, but looked poor as a team. The primary difference is that we showed it over the season whereas Boro will probably come good. Charlton's finishing was top class, especially the first goal from Rommedahl and whilst they've had a fairly easy start to the season, they can only beat who are put in front of them and the confidence should be high. Indeed the only down side for them is that they have to wait another fortnight for the next game.

Newcastle 0 Man United 2: Not a good day for the North-East clubs as Newcastle lost for the fourth succesive season at home to Man United. Again, both goals were well taken, although I suspect that the main talking points after the match will be the challenges by Shay Given and Stephen Carr on Van Nistelrooy and Ronaldo respectively. Both looked like fouls which would have meant a red card, however neither were given and I confess to feeling a little sorry for Ronaldo until he did get a free kick awarded and waved an imaginary card to try and influence the ref into booking an opponent - something that I HATE and believe should be a bookable offence in itself. Newcastle were unlucky with injuries with all three subs used to replace an injured player and their lack of goals is a worry, especially for those of us with Shearer in our Dream Teams!

Monday 29th August 2005
"I know it's only superstition. Baby but I won't look back. Even though I feel your music." (Song Lyric)

Alphabetically (surname), which current Premiership player is bottom of the list of all-time England internationals?

I wonder how comfortably Newcastle boss Graeme Souness is sitting this Bank Holiday after another defeat yesterday. Four games, just one point and no goals leave him prime candidate for the sack and whilst I agree with the comments on Sky yesterday that continually sacking the boss is not the way to move forward, he must be feeling a little like a turkey on December 1st with a grinning Bernard Matthews staring at him. Of course, it's not helped by the fact that the last three Toon bosses have all been dismissed in August so whilst there is still time, the Scot will be happier when Thursday comes around. Having seen the game yesterday, they desperately need a proven goalscorer, maybe Michael Owen, although that depends more on player than club, and with the transfer window inching it's way closed, the international break will probably not help things for Souness in that respect. Personally I reckon he'll stay, but if they slip up in both of their next two (home to Fulham and away at Blackburn) then things could well be changing on the Tyne. Wouldn't it be ironic if he was sacked after playing the club that he quit to join Newcastle though?

Aston Villa 6 Birmingham 3: Don't panic Blues fans, you've not missed a game, much less against your local rivals. No, these were the number of team shirts that I saw being worn at the seaside today and although Weston-Super-Mare is 103 miles from the second city (yes, I checked AA Routefinder, purely for accuracy reasons!), it's a simple trip down the M5, therefore there are usually plenty of Villa, Blues and I saw one Baggies shirt as well being proudly worn. In fact, there was quite a cosmopolitan feel of football shirts in Somerset today with Chelsea, Arsenal and Man United all on display. Oh, and one Leeds shirt....!

Tuesday 30th August 2005
Which song, featured highly in Con Air, was nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Song and for a Razzie (!!) for WORST original song?

When they moved to their new St Mary's Stadium, Southampton took six games to record a home win, but against who did they finally win 1-0?

Coventry 1 Southampton 1: Due to computer problems (still ongoing, but that's another story!), I missed the first half an hour of last night's 1-1 game, including both goals which I did catch later on the half time talky bit, however from what I saw at the new, just completed, Ricoh Arena, both sides looked reasonably good, although prone to mistakes, but I guess you could level that at most clubs in most divisions. The game aside though, I was thinking of a couple of things throughout the match. Firstly, how this clash was a top flight match up for the best part of 25 years until Coventry went down and secondly, the new tendency to have new stadia that are `sponsored`. Of course, it's all about economics, but whilst we have the Reebok, the (BT Cellnet) Riverside and now the Ricoh, as well as a few others, including Arsenal's forthcoming Emarites (I think) stadium, you wonder if the identity is being lost. Mind you, where does it end? I mean, will it get to the stage that we hear Sky or the Beeb introducing us to the Heinz 57 stadium or, "Good Evening and welcome to the new Durex Ultra-Safe Stadium!"

At the weekend, I spotted a match report on the new club created by fans of Man United as a protest to the Glazer takeover and only then did it occur to me about the acronym created by their title. Yes, Football Club United of Manchester becomes FCUM. Now, you can look at that and pronounce it however you like - and I know how I would say it - but surely if announced on the radio or TV, then they'll use the full title rather than the initials? Can you imagine a club whose name is shortened to F*ck Um!! That said, maybe it's a subliminal message to Mr Glazer and his sons!

Wednesday 31st August 2005
"Lucky you were born that far away so we could both make fun of distance. Lucky that I love a foreign land for the lucky fact of your existance." (Song Lyric)

In June 2003, FOUR different England players were captain at various parts of a match against which nation?

Wolves 3 QPR 1: Having seen Wolves perform pretty in their opening game at Southampton, it was an eye-opener to see them beat QPR last night with a display that wouldn't have been out of place in the top flight. Good passing and movement, swift and clinical attacks and a fine exhibition of finishing from Carl Cort who seems to have found his niche at Wolves. Boss Glenn Hoddle has moulded the team into his own style of play and, at the moment at least, it's paying off big time and they really should have wrapped the game up well before stoppage time. You wonder then, what would have happened to England had Hoddle not made one drippy comment and been forced to resign from his post as manager. That draw in Italy in 1997 which sent them to France 98 still ranks as one of the best performances of an England side and they were desperatly unlike not to progress further in the actual finals. It's all speculation and opinion, but surely a better display at Euro 2000 would have been forthcoming for a start. Isn't hindsight great?

When I first started doing a paper round back in 1492, magazines such as Woman and Womans Own were along the lines of Womans Weekly and Peoples Friend in that they were aimed at the older generation with the likes of free knitting patterns and step-by-step instructions on how to make everything from teddy bears to Yorkshire Puddings, however since the arrival of the likes of Bella, Best, Take a Break and That's Life, they have become mags with `shock` style headlines. For example, a selection of the front page headlines from the ones in today are: "My Boyfriend Was Eaten By A Shark!", "My Baby's Dad Faked His Own Death!" and my personal favourite, "He Was My Dad, Now He's My Husband!" The mags for the Jerry Springer generation obviously.

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