Views From The Armchair

"Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season August 2004

Sunday 1st August 2004
"It's all the same, only the names will change. Every day, it seems we're wasting away." (Song)
Wanted Dead Or Alive - Bon Jovi: Correctly answered by Uri Shapira

When Leeds last played a league game outside of the top division (89-90) one player from the starting line up made a summer move between Prem clubs fourteen years later in 2004. Who was he?

Believe it or not, it's just four weeks since Greece stunned the footballing world and beat Portugal again to win Euro 2004. Now, twenty-eight days later and the new domestic season is rapidly approaching with all the hopes and fears that a new campaign traditionally brings. Believe it or not, it's only a little over three years since Leeds United came to within a game of the Champions League final! Now, we can look ahead to playing Plymouth, Gillingham and Rotherham as the downward spiral continues at a great rate of knots. If anything, I'm looking forward more to this season than the previous couple if only because of the exceptionally low expectation levels. No-one is anticipating big things from Leeds this season and, from my point of view, a season or two of stability and avoiding relegation would be fine - anything above and beyond is a bonus. To say that the squad has changed would be the understatement of the decade so far as it's been completely and utterly revamped. Gone are the expensive signings from the Ridsdale era and in come a mixture of youth and experience which makes you wonder whether we had a policy of having no players between the ages of 22 and 34! Apart from the youth crop (Aaron Lennon, Frazer Richardson, Scott Carson), the sole survivors from the Prem days are Gary Kelly, Michael Duberry and the terminally injured Seth Johnson. Lucas Radebe is also still here, however his knees have been knackered for a while, so his involvement will be limited to say the least. That all said, this could be a revival of the style which began the Revie era and also similar to when Howard Wilkinson took over and on both occasions we ended up as title winners. Will we see the Leeds United phoenix rise from the ashes and soar to glory? Yes, I doubt it as well, but it is the time for pre-season optimism after all.

Forget Euro 2004, Alan Smith joining Man United and Sven's extra curricular activities - the big news of the summer was of course the re-naming of the English leagues! Yes, okay I jest, however it doesn't alter the fact that the name changes are surely one of the biggest wastes of time in history. Ultimately it's confusing for those who are still learning about the game so I have put together a little guide to help ease the headaches.

The Premiership remains under the same name and the number of clubs in each division are still 20, 24, 24, 24 - now, that's the easy bit out of the way...

The old first division (which was the old second division until the end of the 91-92 season!) is now renamed the Championship (sponsored by a fizzy drink of course). So whilst the eventual winners can justifiably state that they've `Won The Championship`, this statement will only cause further confusion!

The old second and third divisions are now called Fizzy Drink's League One and Two, although it's worth remembering that until 91-92, these were actually the 3rd and 4th divisions!!

CONFUSED YET??? IT GETS WORSE....

Now, those clubs relegated from the Premiership last season, including Leeds of course, will now play in the Championship, as will those promoted from the old second division. Okay? So far so good.

But, those relegated from the first division last season will now play in...league one!! Equally those promoted from division THREE will make the seemingly massive leap to league one!

Those relegated from division two last season are now in league two as are those promoted from the Conference...is it still called that or have they changed it as well I wonder!!

Those clubs in the first division last season who didn't get promoted or relegated are now in the Championship. Those in the second division last season who didn't get promoted or relegated are now in league one, giving the impression of promotion and the same of those clubs in the third division last season who didn't go up or down as they are now league two!

Bottom line? If all this continues to confuse, remember today's lyric at the top - "It's all the same, only the names will change!"

Monday 2nd August 2004
"Children waiting for the day they feel good. Happy Birthday Happy Birthday." (Song)
Mad World - Tears For Fears: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Two clubs who have finished third in the Prem will be playing next season outside of the top flight. Which two?
Leeds & Nottm Forest: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

I managed to catch most of Arsenal's Amsterdam Tournament (aka Glorified Friendly) against Ajax last night and two things were blatantly obvious from just after the kick off. The first was that the Gunners, without the likes of Vieira, Campbell and Henry, still look an exceptional outfit in what was effectively an away game and although they drew both games 0-0, will still take some beating this forthcoming season. It's also worth remembering that if they don't lose in their opening three league games, then they'll have broken another record of 42 games unbeaten in the top division (with thanks to Matt for inadvertantly reminding me of that fact). The second thing about last night's game was how it largely took a back stage seat to the ongoing saga at the FA. With Mark Palios resigning shortly before the match and Sven Goran Eriksson in the crowd watching, hardly a five minute spell went by without a mention of it or a shot of the Swede. Half the time it was like watching a Whitehall sex farce unfolding!

We have two of our nieces up with us for a while at the moment and the youngest, five (and a half!) year old Ellee, came bombarding into the living room on Saturday yelling at me to answer the telephone because it was ringing. This was no childhood prank either as she was deadly serious...even though the phone was a few yards away from me and clearly as quiet as it was possible to be. Eventually I calmed her down, although she remained adamant that she was telling the truth, but then within thirty seconds, the phone rang!! I looked at my daughter, then the older niece and then back to Ellee, amazed at what was happening and wondering just how the hell she knew what was about to occur. The answer became clear when I, somewhat reluctantly, picked the phone up and took the call from my wife at work. She had been trying to ring me on my mobile....which was in my coat pocket and in the same room as Ellee had been playing in!!

Tuesday 3rd August 2004
"You say you wander your own land. But when I think about it I don't see how you can." (Song)
Everybody's Changing - Keane: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Against which nation did Paul Scholes score his final international goal?
Croatia (Euro 2004): Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

Whilst out today, I caught the sports news on local radio that Paul Scholes had announced his retirement from international football. I must confess that my first thought was that I'd mis-heard the story, however when getting home, I discovered that it was indeed true and have to admit that it has surprised me hugely. Scholes is still only 29 and still a massively influencial player who has at least two major tournaments left in him and whilst we must respect his decision, I wonder if the ridiculous pressure heaped on him before and during Euro 2004 played a part. He admits that he's been considering this for a while and, reading between the lines, perhaps the media going on about his `goal drought` brought this decision forward a few years and if that's the case, then it's a damn shame as his job for the team is not primarily about scoring goals. As I said, the decision must be respected as he clearly has his reasons, but in a few years time when he quits the game for good, I wonder if he'll look back and feel that he made this move four years too early?

It's an often stated fact that kids can sleep through anything and whilst it's understandable that our two nieces and our daughter dropped off in the car on the way back from a hectic day at the seaside, just twelve hours previous, the youngest of the two also managed to sleep through one of the most violent thunderstorms that we've had for absolutely ages. My wife and I were awoken by the pair of dogs just before 4am and the storm began a few minutes later, however despite very bright lightening and extremely loud thunderclaps, our five (and a half!) year old niece and ten year old daughter never heard a thing! They can hear an ice-cream van from three miles away, yet somehow sleep through a storm! Truth is stranger than fiction after all.

Wednesday 4th August 2004
"You have the right to remain silent. What you lack, is the capacity." (Film)
Shrek 2: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Just before joining Arsenal, Patrick Vieira played two leagues games for which Serie A club?
Milan: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

When the rumours linking Patrick Vieira to Real Madrid first surfaced last month, I took little notice of them, feeling that they were simply back page sensationalist space fillers, the likes of which always see the light of day during the opening of the transfer window. It now seems that I underestimated the validity of them and that the Frenchman could be on his way to Madrid very soon for around the �23m mark. Okay, this is a decent profit for Arsenal who bought Vieira for �3.5m almost eight years ago now but I cannot help feeling that they are about to sell their soul to the devil. If it goes ahead, it can only be for the money as Vieira remains a vital part of their side and whoever they sign (Maniche seems to be the prime target) to replace him, it will ultimately be a decision which weakens the team. Man United and Chelsea must be rubbing their hands with delighted anticipation.

Of all the signings made by Leeds this summer, I reckon that the best long term arrival will be the most recent - Neil Sullivan! Yes, I know he's in his mid 30s and only has a couple of seasons left in him, however aside from being a decent keeper at this slightly weaker level of football, he's also in a position to help out a guy at the opposite end of the age scale - Scott Carson. This is the youngster who made his debut at Old Trafford last season and looked mightily impressive and if he can learn and pick up things from the far more experienced Sullivan then his arrival will have been doubly worth it.

Thursday 5th August 2004
"Don't crack up. Bend your brain. See both sides. Throw off your mental chains." (Song)
New Song - Howard Jones: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

When Ruud Van Nistelrooy scored twice on his Man United league debut, which other current United player also netted twice?

So, Sven stays and the FA admit that they cocked up over their handling of the entire affair (pun intended). Whilst Sven staying wasn't a major surprise, the blunt honesty from the FA over their original lies was a refreshing change and maybe it'll be the catalyst for a new regime within the footballing body and perhaps worm out some of the old guard. Palios and Colin Gibson have both resigned, although what the latter did differently from Sven is anyone's guess, unless he had some part in the original cover up, as has the woman who is at the centre of all the affairs, a certain Faria Alam, although she does have the minor consolation of a reported �250,000 windfall on the way as she sells her story. The only good thing that might come from this is the fact that the FA can no longer pull the wool over the eyes of the fans and if that's what materialises in the future, then the entire sorry story could have been a blessing in disguise.

We had a long day today as after driving the four-plus hour round trip to Chessington World of Adventures with the nieces and daughter, we were home just in time to see our local side, Frome Town, beat Salisbury 1-0, although admittedly only yours truly and my daughter went to that! Chessington was a good day out though and we had a full six hours there before the weather turned against us as we about to leave. From a nice cool 6am start, we had a warm morning and early afternoon when we took full advantage of the water rides and the Vampire rollercoaster to cool off. Then the rain struck, leaving us crawling along the M3 at 15mph as the sheer torrent of rain stopped anyone from going any faster. Add to that thunder and forked lightening and we had the full range of the English summer although when looking at the rain from the Fleet services (and did they ever suffer as half their ceiling fell in under the torrential rain!) you'd never believe that just hours earlier, we were stood under the BeanoTown fountain getting ourselves wet and cool. I should add a thanks to the older niece, 14-year old Roxanne, who pushed me right under, soaking half of my back when I only meant to get my hair a little bit damp!

Friday 6th August 2004
"You're not trying to draw a psycho pension! You really are crazy!" (Film)
Lethal Weapon: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Derby's record transfer fee received was from Leeds, but for which player?
Seth Johnson: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Well, it all starts again tomorrow! Not for you Prem of course, but as I'm now part of the lower leagues - aka The Championship - I get eight extra games to panic about during the season, starting with a lunchtime kick off at home to Derby. Naturally the game was switched to accomodate live TV, however sods law being what it is, previous arrangements mean that I'll miss it, sparking the plan to tape the game and avoid the score all day before watching it. This of course brings its own problems, notably avoiding all news reports on the car radio and all ill-timed TV news when we get back. Nothing though can prepare you for the `friends` scenario - you know, when one irratating person decides to text you the final score, complete with sarcastic message. And yes, I am speaking from experience!

Took the girls shopping in Bath today and as anything aside from food shopping gives my attention span a significant reduction, I wasn't looking forward to being dragged around various shops by four girls/women of varying ages. Three and a half hours later and a carrier bag tally which had broken double figures and my fears had been realised, especially when among all the bags, the sole thing that was mine was a quarter of barley sugars! The constant ambush of shop assistants asking if `we needed any help` was hardly the most helpful thing, nor was the constant supply of Big Issue sellers and clipboard mobs asking us to join anything from Freemans catalogues to Amnesty International. The youngest niece did provide one bright spot when I gave her some change to put into the hat of a group of three rather impressive busking, budding musicians. Having done it, she thought and then said, "Can I get my money back or do they take it home?"

Saturday 7th August 2004
"So you think you got it all worked out, you got your hot pants on, you got your arse right out." (Song)
Misfit - Amy Studt: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Frazer Richardson spent time on loan at which Midlands club during 02-03?

We're off and running again!! After seeing the Leeds starting XI for today's game, my first thought was that it resembled something you might cobble together in an older version of Championshiup Manager, however within twenty minutes and two good chances gone, I was bouncing around on the bed (watching upstairs on the portable!) and yelling at the goggle box as though the season was at an end. Overall, the performance was decent enough which made a strange, yet refreshing, change, with the likes of Frazer Richardson, Danny Pugh, Michael Duberry and Neil Sullivan all impressing. The latter made a sensational last minute save, tipping the ball over brilliantly after a header had struck the post which was easily the most crucial moment of the game along with Richardson's very well taken goal. Yes, we rode our luck, notably with those last minute efforts and a disallowed goal in the first half which at best look a dodgy decision. But that said, we could, and perhaps should, have scored more ourselves so it's swings and roundabouts. Thankfully, as well as the result going the right way, I also managed to watch it `as live` an hour or so after the final whistle, although it was close when the 2 O'clock news came onto the radio and I heard, "Leeds have..." before very quickly turning the volume down. So, one down, fourty-five to go and my fingernails are lower than they were this morning and my t-shirt is sweaty. Yes, football is certainly back and with no Championship game being won by more than one goal, this promises to be one tight season!

The reason for taping the Leeds game today was due to us taking the younger niece back home - and didn't we ever make a mistake by doing it on a Saturday. No so much for missing the football, although that did wrangle admittedly, but going down to North Devon we hit the holidaymakers travelling to the South West for their hols and coming back we got mixed up with those returning. Add to the equation a minor accident on the M5 and you had slow moving traffic almost constantly between Taunton and Tiverton (and vice versa on the return). The services were equally chocka with a massive queue for the ladies loo which put my three companions off right from the start and a similarly long queue in the shop, although our need for a cold drink meant that we waited anyway. Just one final point, when we left the services and rejoined the motorway's static queues, my wife counted no less than EIGHT caravans within the small section of traffic that we could see ahead of us! Equate that to the nations roads as a whole and you have a load of mobile homes taking up twice as much space on the road as a normal car!

Sunday 8th August 2004
"I can see the Statue of Liberty already! Very small, of course." (Film)
Titanic: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who were the last club to score five goals in a Charity Shield game?

As Charity/Community Shield games go, today's was one of the better in recent years with chances at both ends and both clubs giving their all until the final stages. Neither club had anything like their top starting XI available for varying reasons and maybe that contributed as some of the fringe players had the opportunity to show what they can do in front of a large audience. The goals were of a high quality, especially Alan Smith's scorcher and I should point out that I hold no grudges to Smiffy, especially as I had him on a spread bet to score later than the 15th minute! For those of us who enjoy the other side of the game, we also saw a couple of sitters missed with Pennant and Reyes mostly at fault, although Bergkamp also slipped over at a vital stage. That said, Reyes in particular had a stormer, so it would be unfair to dwell on that miss above the good things. So, with the season a week away, both clubs look close to being ready, with the Gunners arguably more so than United. They missed the likes of Ferdinand and Van Nistelrooy today and with both out for at least a month, it could be a tricky start for the Red Devils.

Unusually for us on a Sunday, we went off to a boot sale today. This was a rare occurance as I'm usually working, however as soon as we got there, my daughter made a beeline for Beano annuals of which there were plenty whilst our niece spotted all things related to Eeyore!! I struck gold more than once and managed to increase my collection of Patricia Cornwell novels from four to eleven in the space of an hour, even getting to the stage where my daughter wrote down the ones that I've already got to stop me buying duplicates. Back home, I went about putting they Kay Scarpetta novels into order and discovered that I now have them all...except the third and fourth in the series which is a major pain as I've only recently finished reading the first two! How typical is that! Whilst they may be written by a woman and the main character is a female medical examiner, they are still cracking reads for those who like murder or mystery thrillers.

Monday 9th August 2004
"She said goodbye too many times before. And her heart is breaking in front of me. I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore." (Song)
This Love - Maroon 5: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Lee Hughes joined West Brom from which non-league side?

Even going back to my school days, I've never been the biggest fan of Spurs. This is very little to do with the club, more to do with my best mate at middle school who supported them and, more to the point, the fact that they did win the occasional trophy back in the early 80s. This dislike has remained for no other reason than the illogical one already stated, so it was with some surprise yesterday that I saw that they'd agreed a fee for Danny Murphy. "Spurs In Decent Signing Shock!" Could this be the midfield general that the club have been crying out for, practically since Glenn Hoddle left (as a player!). He may well be, however it was with equal surprise today that they've also agreed a fee with Newcastle to SELL Stephen Carr! Spurs fans must be tearing their hair out in frustration as each time I'm seen them, Carr generally looks good at the back and going forward and the club surely aren't selling for financial reasons a la Leeds. Admittedly, neither of these deals are done and dusted, but the first barrier has been overcome and both look likely, but I can't help feeling that the London side are making a mistake as regards Carr.

Lee Hughes jailed for six years! This has literally just broken as I was typing the above and is a hell of a shock to say the least. Don't get me wrong, I'm a great believer in the punishment fitting the crime and I assume that it does in this case, however from a footballing viewpoint, has there been a heavier fall from grace in recent years? Remember back in 1998-99 when Hughes netted 31 goals in 42 games for a West Brom side who still only finished 12th? He looked to have the football world at his feet and could do little wrong. Since then, a poor spell at Coventry ended with a return to West Brom and, until today, to the Premiership! Ultimately, one evening of stupidity has cost him dearly, although not as much as his victim to keep things into perspective, and even if he only serves half of his sentance, his career at the highest level of the game will surely be over. The only plus point is that perhaps younger stars with powerful cars will think twice before breaking the law.

Tuesday 10th August 2004
"The phone rings in the middle of the night. My father yells what you gonna do with your life. Oh daddy dear you know you're still number one." (Song)
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

When Ole Gunnar Solskjaer famously scored four goals away to Forest in an 8-1 win, which other two Man United players shared the other four goals?

If, as it's often claimed, luck evens itself out over the course of a season, then QPR are owed a big slice after last night. Twice in a ten minute spell just before half time they had borderline decisions go against them during the 3-0 defeat at Watford. Firstly with the score at 1-0, they had a goal ruled out for an aerial challenge on the goalkeeper which at best looked harsh as contact was minimal and it appeared that the home keeper simply dropped the ball, allowing the loose ball to be tapped home. But of course, in this day and age, you only have to sneeze in the direction of the keeper and a foul is awarded. Then, on the stroke of half time, Watford doubled their lead when Bruce Dyer nodded in, despite looking slightly offside. To be fair, we've all moaned about the benefit of the doubt being given to the attacker and that's exactly what happened, much to Rangers' annoyance, especially boss Ian Holloway who broke his touchline ban to come down pitchside for a gripe. I hold no particular liking for QPR, or indeed Watford, however if luck does even itself out, I hope it doesn't come against Leeds for QPR!

How about this for the crux of a starting XI in the Premiership, or indeed any top league? Rio Ferdinand, Wes Brown, Kleberson, Cristiano Ronaldo, Darren Fletcher, Liam Miller, Louis Saha, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, Ruud Van Nistelrooy. Pretty good eh! Oh course, the more observant will realise that not only are these all Man United players, but they are all currently unavailable for selection for varying reasons and for varying lengths of time. Despite United's impressive squad policy of recent years, this sort of list will really test their strength in depth in the open weeks of the campaign. Their failure to finish in the top two last season will hit harder now especially considering that they are faced with a midweek trip to Eastern Europe ahead of a tough opening fixture at Chelsea. The biggest blow would seem to be that of Solskjaer who now looks likely to be out for the season due to a persistent knee injury. The striker has been incredibly important to United over the years, not so much for his ability to come on and change the game, but equally to fill in a gap where needed, notably during that 6-2 win at Newcastle a couple of years back when he took the Beckham position brilliantly. Ultimately, it's unwise to write United off, especially with the players that are still available, however this could be on of the biggest tests of Sir Alex's Old Trafford career.

Wednesday 11th August 2004
"A Salvation Army Band played and children drunk lemonade and the morning lasted all day." (Song)
Life In A Northern Town - Dream Academy: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Other than Man United, which other club did Arsenal fail to beat in a league game last season (03-04)?
Portsmouth: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Back to reality, which suddenly hit home last night at around 7:50pm. Gillingham 1 Leeds 0 came the scoreflash and I knew there and then that we'd get nothing from the game, even with 86 minutes left. Ultimately we went further behind on half time and only recovered late on when we apparently played our best football of the game - but by then, it's too late! Judging by the reports in the paper and from various fans who were there, we were pretty dreadful. Out muscled, outplayed and deservedly beaten by a side who themselves are not expected to be any great shakes this season. After Saturday's win, this might prove to be the kick up the ass that the players needed, a reality check that one win does not make a season and that there are certainly no pushovers in this division. We shall see on Saturday when we travel to Wolves!

With two games clashing on TV last night, I chose to watch West Ham beat Reading above Liverpool's fine Champions League qualifying win in Austria against Graz and in many ways I'm glad that I did. The first division...sorry, Championship game was end to end for long periods and how there was only one goal is anyone's guess. Ultimately it was left to older statesman Teddy Sheringham to break the deadlock late on and prove that positional sense and cool finishing remains a primary asset to have. As for Liverpool across on Channel 5, their 2-0 win surely puts them into the group stages although this could be counteracted by the apparent departure of Michael Owen to Real Madrid, especially after he didn't feature last night. Liverpool fans must be wondering whether to celebrate the win or mourn the impending loss of Owen.

Thursday 12th August 2004
"It's been three years, one night apart, but in that night you tore my heart. If only you had slept alone, if those seeds had not been sown." (Song)
All You Want - Dido: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Which Conference club won an away league match 9-0 last season (03-04)?
Hereford (at Dagenham and Redbridge): : Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Well, barring something sensational, it looks as though the Prem will have four clubs in the Champions League group stages next season after Man United followed Liverpool's example with a decent away win in their first leg qualifier last night. Whilst Dinamo Bucharest are hardly a European force to be reckoned with, unlike Graz the previous night, the Romanians did at least put up a fight early on and for a few minutes, I feared for Man United's chances, especially after watching Quinton Fortune getting in a mucking fuddle in his own six yard box. Ultimately, despite the absences, United's quality shone through although it's worth remembering that each of their starting XI are international players, so while it was a weakened team, it was by no means weak. ITV have cleverly bought the rights to screen both the second leg games in two weeks time, both of which are likely to be formalities and of interest only to supporters of either club. Me? I'll probably watch whatever Carling Cup games Sky screen.

I was rudely awoken at 2:30am this morning by the less than subtle manner of someone switching their bedside light on and letting rip with a string of swear words. For a few seconds I was in that `twilight zone` between being asleep and being awake, however when the latter finally took over from the former, it transpired that whilst trying to find something in the dark on her bedside table, my wife managed to knock over a can of coke and judging by the mess, it was pretty full. Cue some ripe language including, "Oh dear we have no tissue up here!" or words to that effect which eventually ended with me leaping out of bed to find an old towel to soak up the mess. I was up for work an hour later anyway but it's now mid-afternoon and I feel totally knackered! As for my wife, I reckon one of those baby training mugs could be in this years Christmas stocking!

Two games played in the first division, sorry, Championship this season and not one of the 24 clubs have a 100% record! Further proof that this is going to be one hell of a tight season!

Friday 13th August 2004
"You see the dilemma don't you. If you don't kill me, precogs were wrong and precrime is over. If you do kill me, you go away, but it proves the system works." (Film)
Minority Report: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

Celtic won a Scottish record 25 games in a row last season, but whose record did they beat?

The Prem season kicks off tomorrow and whilst it seems strange saying that when Leeds have already played twice, it's only fair that I cast the customary eye over matters and make my predictions which will ultimately be ripped apart come May 2005.

TITLE CONTENDERS: As with last season, I really cannot see past the Big Three. The news that Vieira is staying at Arsenal is a massive boost for the current Champions, giving them another advantage over Man United who'll begin the season with a list of absentees a mile long. Chelsea again show massive changes, including a new manager, and while I'll think they'll go closer this season, it might not quite be enough to topple the eventually winners. Therefore, my top three is the same as they ended last season with Arsenal top - retaining their Prem title for the first time ever, and Chelsea just edging Man Utd for second place, although there's no way that they'll go unbeaten again.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE HOPEFULS: Again, much like last season, Liverpool and Newcastle are the obvious challengers to the top dogs, however behind the scenes the summer hasn't been easy at either club with the Anfield side changing managers and losing Michael Owen, whilst Newcastle were rocked by the board maintaining that this would be Sir Bobby Robson's last season. Alan Shearer is also about to start his final campaign and will be hoping to bow out in style, but if I had to take a bet, it would again be Liverpool to sneak fourth place.

HEADING FOR EUROPE?: The UEFA Cup remains a strong magnet and whilst Middlesbrough are there this season courtesy of their Carling Cup success, this could well be their season to nail down a top six place in the league. Very busy in the transfer market this summer, Boro have strikers in abundance with ex-Leeds duo Viduka and Hasselbaink the new arrivals. If they can stay tight at the back, they they'll prove hard to beat. Aston Villa were sixth last season and whilst Boro have added to their squad, belt-tightening at Villa Park has hampered David O'Leary so whilst they'll be there or there abouts again, I think that last season could well have been their peak as regards finishing position is concerned. I actually have a sneaky feeling for Bolton to challenge for a top six spot this season. Sam Allardyce continues to work wonders with a limited budget and after finishing eighth last season, it will give them the confidence to push even further. Fulham were just behind Bolton last season and have made some shrew summer signings. Boss Chris Coleman continues to learn and with a little luck on their side, could just push Villa and Boro for a top six place.

UPPER MID-TABLE: Unlikely to get relegated, yet equally unlikely to make a genuinely serious European challenge are, to begin with, Charlton. I know they were seventh last season and remained very hard to beat throughout, but I don't believe that they are any better than the clubs named above and can't see them above any of them in the table come May. That said, they are of a better quality than over half of the league, so relegation looks doubtful. Birmingham were a little too inconsistent last season with disappointing slip ups against some of the strugglers costing them a higher place. If they can correct that, with the help of the summer arrivals, notably Emile Heskey, then a higher finish than tenth is possible. I have a feeling for them to do well in the cups this season though. Southampton's first full season under Paul Sturrock will be an interesting one, although like Birmingham, the inconsistency is often their downfall. Expect them to bobble between 8th and 13th once the season gets going. Saints' south coast rivals Portsmouth could just prove to be a surprise package this season. They ended the last campaign very well and if they can continue that momentum, then respectability rather than a relegation battle is certainly a possibility. Where to place Spurs is a conundrum and a half! With a new boss at the helm, anything is possible and whilst they have the potential, especially up front, to challenge for Europe, their constant failings last season indicate that a relegation scrap is equally likely. I'll be optimistic for the Spurs fans and go for mid table, perhaps 9th or 10th.

LOWER MID-TABLE - RELEGATION POSSIBLES: So which clubs will face an uphill challenge this season, possibly even resulting in a battle for the drop? Blackburn always seem to be there or there abouts, however the confident ending to last season indicates that they may have turned a vital corner. Goals always seem to be a problem, so don't expect too many high scoring games, unless they're going in at the wrong end of course! They should stay up though. Similarly, Man City did enough at the tail end of last season to survive, although they are always hard to predict and with Keegan at the helm, they are almost impossible to predict. Potentially, they could actually do very well with a top half place within reach, however if they start poorly, and I think they will, they'll struggle.

RELEGATION PROBABLES: Despite the heroics of Wayne Rooney in the summer, one man does not make a good team and that will surely be proved this season with Everton. They'll score a few goals, but in general are likely to concede more and in truth, anything better than a relegation dogfight will be a bonus. Ultimately, like Leeds last season, I fear for them and this could just be the campaign that breaks their proverbial backs and ends their long unbroken top flight lives. That said, watch them beat Arsenal on Sunday now!! So what of the three newcomers? Of the trio, I have the most hope for West Brom, partly due to the new signings, especially Kanu who could be a big surprise this season, and partly because they've `been here, done that` before under Gary Megson. Yes it will be tough, but they'll look to the likes of Bolton and Portsmouth and see what can be achieved. Norwich were first division champions last season and will be full of confidence, however this is likely to be a short return to the Prem for Nigel Worthington and Delia Smith as I simply cannot see enough top flight quality in their squad to be able to consistently hold their own. The same can be said of Crystal Palace whose unlikely promotion (21st in December and only in a play-off spot in May) was one of the fairy tales of last season. Iain Dowie is obviously well respected at the club and worked absolute wonders last season, however the quality is far higher now and although I have a sneaky idea that they'll start quite well, they would be my bet as the first team relegated around April time.

THE `JANET AND JOHN` BIT:
So, in short:
1st - Arsenal
CL: Chelsea, Man United, Liverpool
5th: Middlesbrough
6th: Newcastle
Down: Everton, Norwich, Crystal Palace

Saturday 14th August 2004
"The photograph on the dashboard, taken years ago. Turned around backwards so the windshield shows, every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse." (Song)
Nightswimming - REM: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Jay-Jay Okocha began his European career with which German club?
Eintract Frankfurt : Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Quick and easy quiz question to begin with: Which Prem player had the most shots at goal last season without actually scoring? Most would know that it was Bolton's Jay-Jay Okocha and with Mr Sod and his Law firmly in place, it was somewhat ironic that the self same player should score on this opening weekend of the new campaign. To add to the wow-factor, he actually scored twice on what is his 31st birthday as his side walloped Charlton 4-1. They were one of only two clubs to win today, Aston Villa the other with a 2-0 defeat of Southampton, on a day when five of the other six games ended 1-1 and the North-East derby between Middlesbrough and Newcastle ended 2-2. I saw the second half of that game and was very impressed with Boro and felt that they deserved at least a draw, even if JFH's last gasp equaliser was a little dodgy! Earlier I watched the Spurs v Liverpool match and thought that Mr Houllier was still in charge as the Anfield side seemed to sit back on a half time lead and ultimately concede an equalier. Rafael Benitez came over with an attacking reputation although we saw little of that in the second half. Overall though, an interesting opening day and I'll look forward to the return of Match of the Day later.

As I went back to work this evening shortly after the final whistles had blown, a chap came into the shop and asked me who Leeds were playing tomorrow. I replied that they played at Wolves today and he said that he'd forgotten that we'd been relegated and was looking for the score in the Prem games! It was odd though to hear the ongoing reports from the Reebok and Villa Park and not to see Leeds anywhere. Instead, we were drawing 0-0 at Wolves, although with hardly any time left, I heard, "Penalty at Molineux!" come through, followed shortly by, "Kenny Miller to take...!" This was it I thought, a late winner for Wolves, only for Neil Sullivan to save it and send me catapulting out of my seat! I'm happy with a point at Wolves, even though we were poor again and had Michael Duberry sent off...although that could be a blessing in disguise!

Sunday 15th August 2004
"I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up. There's plenty more fish in the sea." (Song)
Dry Your Eyes - The Streets : Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Which player scored twice in the league for Chelsea last season (03-04), both of which were the final goals of Chelsea's campaign?
Jesper Gronkjaer : Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

It was like living in Groundhog Day watching Arsenal destroy Everton this afternoon. It was as though the summer break had never occurred and last season was still ongoing. On occasions, Arsenal were absolutely superb and 4-1 didn't really flatter them at all against an Everton side who were outclassed and, to be fair to them, may not be quite as poor as the Gunners made them look. It should also be remembered that this was without the likes of Sol Campbell and Patrick Vieira, arguably two of the more influential players in the squad which makes it all the more awesome for those clubs playing catch-up, both of whom were playing each other at Stamford Bridge in a game which promised plenty but actually gave little. It was an okay game rather than anything to write home about as Chelsea's new players are still obviously settling in, whilst United's makeshift side was nothing like a first choice line up. Ironic that the goalscorer - Eidur Gudjohnsen - was one of the `old guard`, signed before the Abramovich revolution came along. Drogba looked pretty good and will probably need a few more games to really settle and I would imagine that would be the case for many at Chelsea. Either way though, they'll still be looking enviously up at Arsenal tonight.

Although I'm used to early starts, today's alarm call of 1:30am was still two hours earlier than usual for me. A work colleague was off to Greece for a week with her mother and sister and I'd agreed to drive them to the airport which is around an hour or so away from us, straight across the top of the Mendip hills, which at 2:30am is somewhat spooky I can assure you. Even in our quiet little town, I naively expected the streets to be deserted when we left at 2am, however they were anything but! Even in our little cul-de-sac, there were three older teenage boys at the bottom, one of whom thought it hilarious to lie in the middle of the road laughing his head off. Thankfully his slightly more sober mates did hoist him up before I drove past! Further on, we spotted a bloke led on the pavement, apparently asleep but certainly curled up in the foetal position. Add to that a number of people - both male and female - simply wandering the streets like extras from a Romero zombie film, then I can vouch that 2am on a Sunday morning is like living in another world completely.

Monday 16th August 2004
"I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world's largest pile of mud!" (Film)
National Lampoons Vacation: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Prior to this season, who were the opponents when Man United last failed to score in their opening league match?
QPR (1988): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

One thing is for certain once the season properly kicks off and that's there is sure to be a round of international friendlies very close by. Naturally enough, as with last season, this happens during the midweek after the first weekend of top flight games in England and enables the club managers to pull their hair out in frustration at their inabilty to resolve the weekend's problems due to losing half of their players to international duty. If also enables the rest of us to place bets on how many players will pull out of each nations squad, with Wales currently leading the way with six withdraws! Yes, I know the World Cup qualifiers are coming up and I know that the international managers don't get their players together often, but who are paying the player's wages all week? It isn't the various FA's around the globe surely...?

Whilst I love football, I have difficulty getting interested in any other sports, prefering largely to glance at final scores or positions just to keep up to date. Therefore, the wall to wall coverage of the Olympics is gradually getting on my wick, especially due to those who moaned heavily during Euro 2004 about the amount of football on the TV, only to claim to enjoy six hours coverage of underwater tiddylinks, just because it's `part of the Olympics`. I did catch some of the swimming yesterday, although only because we were having tea at the time, and felt bitterly sorry for Sarah Price cut gashed her knee on an underwater camera, thereby ending her Olympic hopes especially as she, "didn't train for four yers for that to happen." Although with all due respect, are we stating that there were NO other swimming competitions within that time that she was training for? It wasn't so much the incident itself which got me, it was more the BBC reporter, who, despite the poor girl being very upset, insisted on shoving a microphone into her face and asking totally mundane questions. "How do you feel at the moment?" being the absolute legend! It reminded me of the final day of the 96-97 season when Middlesbrough were relegated after only drawing at Leeds. Off trudged Boro captain Nigel Pearson only to be confronted by Sky's Nick Collins who asked him a similar question to the above. Top man Pearson simply replied, on live TV mind you, "Blimey, stupid fu**ing question Nick."

Tuesday 17th August 2004
"Oh can't you see me standing here, I've got my back against the record machine." (Song)
Jump - Van Halen: Correctly answered by Jeff Slater

Which player won a Championship winners medal with Everton in 1987 and then with Blackburn in 1995?
Bobby Mimms: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Quite strong rumours this morning that Newcastle are set to sell Kieron Dyer after an incident during Saturday's draw at Middlesbrough. Apparently Dyer was handed the captain's armband after Alan Shearer was subbed and promptly held at arms length with two fingers before passing on to Jermaine Jenas and ultimately Aaron Hughes. Now, unsurprisingly, Sir Bobby Robson is somewhat upset at his display of petulance and, according to the popular press, want Dyer out of the club. Admittedly, Dyer's decision to treat the armband like a piece of radioactive waste was not the best idea in the world, however selling him could just be too much of an overeaction. Fine him, leave him on the bench for a couple of games or some other kind of internal disciplinary act, but shipping him off to another Prem rival is surely cutting off your nose to spite your face.

I loved the story from Limerick, Ireland about a local council who decided to put up a new series of litter bins in the city. A good idea you might think and yes, in theory, it would have been. However, they made the fatal mistake of putting one of the new bins right next to a post box. Again, you would think that this should cause no concerns and that your average Limerick resident could tell the difference between a litter bin and a post box, however this apparently wasn't the case as, according to reports, dozens of people put their letters into the bin by mistake! I make no further comments!

I spotted a sign on a book stall in Trowbridge market today. It simply said, "All paperbacks �2.50, unless marked at a higher or lower price!" That covers everything I reckon!

Wednesday 18th August 2004
"She's got a boyfriend. He drives me round the bend. He's in the marines, he'd kill me." (Song)
Obviously - McFly: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

What extraordinary occurrence befell Ryman League Hornchurch on May 1st 2001 as they neared the end of the season?

The paragraph below comes from the Daily Record:
The England coach believes (Alan) Smith - despite having played just one pre-season and two competitive matches for Sir Alex Ferguson's men after a summer switch from Leeds United - has improved both his game and his temperament.
Obviously this is regarding Alan Smith's starting place for England today, however it must take someone pretty special to be able to see that a game has improved that much in just two `proper` games for a new club. Surely this sort of generalisation should come after a significant period of time - months rather than weeks - at a new club? Did Eriksson not see Smith's two poor tackles during the Community Shield which could have seen him sent off? Has Sven not taken into account Smith's disciplinary record during his last five months at Leeds when he wasn't booked in eighteen games? Maybe he has or maybe it's needing some justification for fielding Smith now he's a Man United player and managing to ignore him for long spells whilst at Leeds. Perhaps I'm being too harsh or cynical and I should add that I'm not one of these who used pics of Smiffy as dartboard material as soon as he joined Man United, however if a player can improve that much in such a short space of time, then it's almost as impressive as the national boss who wants us to believe it.

Quirks and coincidences part 294: Two strange occurrences this morning, adding further fuel to the fire that there is some subliminal message being hammered at us each and every day (cue X-Files music!). Yesterday's lyric was from an 80s band that I'd not heard from in absolutely ages, yet whilst checking the magazines off in the shop today, one of the new ones in had the `return` of the lead guitarist from that particular band plastered all over the front cover! The sole reason that I'd used the lyric was down to mistyping a word into Google!! Then, when switching on the radio at 5am in the shop, the very first record was the self same one that my daughter picked up in Woolworths yesterday stating that she'd `wanted this one for ages.` With that in mind, I've made it today's lyric! Spooky happenings in the West.

Thursday 19th August 2004
"You can get further with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word." (Film)
The Untouchables: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Against which club last season (03-04) did Shaun Wright-Phillips score twice before being sent off?

Choosing not to put myself through torture last night, I decided to actually watch an England international friendly. It was either that or watch my Scots get walloped by Hungary at home or sit through the Olympics with it's mixture of diverse sports - last night it was the mens gymnastics apparantly. Anyway, back to England, and I must admit to being pretty impressed for an hour or so. In truth it was only after Goldenballs Beckham put them ahead that they looked comfortable. It was as though a weight had been lifted from the collective shoulders after what had happened in Euro 2004 and that suddenly all was right with the world again. Second half was one way traffic and you got the feeling that had England really gone for it, then the Ukraine could have been on the wrong end of a hiding. As it was, 3-0 summed it all up quite well and although we had the downside of Kieron Dyer being jeered by England fans on his home pitch, we also had the plus point of a debut goal from half time sub Shaun Wright-Phillips, although more enjoyable was watching his proud adoptive dad in the stand after he'd scored! I doubt that Ian Wright had celebrated one of his own goals that much!

Elsewhere, we'll gloss over the Scotland game, although I was shocked by the stat on the radio today that we've not won a home friendly at Hampden in EIGHT years! Admittedly, some games have been played away from the stadium, but that's some unwanted record as Scotland's quest to be the worst of the home nations gathers momentum! Wales did well again with a comfortable win in Latvia, and before anyone scoffs at it `only being Latvia`, it's worth remembering that they did actually qualify for Euro 2004! Both Irish nations drew, with the Republic blowing a lead at home to Bulgaria and the North version, again creditably, drawing in Switzerland - although I loved the radio report which stated, "Goalless in Switzerland. That's the last six games that the Irish have won!" Hmmm....

Friday 20th August 2004
"Waste-bin full of paper. Clever rhymes, see you later." (Song)
These Words - Natasha Beddingfield: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

In the group stages of the Champions League last season (03-04), which club failed to qualify for the knock outs despite amassing ten points?

Real Madrid In Defender Purchase Shock! Yes, it finally happened today as the Spanish all-stars broke their long standing policy and bought a quality defender. A bigger shock was that it was Jonathon Woodgate who only joined Newcastle just over 18 months ago and that they've paid around �13.4m for a player whose injury problems would rival Darren Anderton and Seth Johnson. That aside, he's a superb player and, injuries permitting, is likely to be challenging the likes of John Terry and Rio Ferdinand for a place in the England side over the next decade or so. The flip side of things is that its a massive blow to Newcastle who rolled over to the lure of the euro to make a tidy profit, although their spiel about not wanting to stand in Woodgate's way is a decent get out for them. So, to all those who constantly whine about the lack of young English talent coming through in the Prem, then look no further than Woodgate, Owen and Beckham for proof that if you are good enough, it'll happen. In short, young English talent is out there, they'll just all end up in Madrid!

I know I'm miles behind, but I've just got around to watching MOTD from last Saturday in full. Usually I fast forward through it before work on Sunday to see the goals, however I've finally seen the near misses, foul ups and dodgy decisions as well. In truth, the tried and tested format has changed little, apart from commentary on every game now, however the technically department did make a couple of rather obvious screw ups! One such minor one was putting up the full time score of one game (Villa v Saints possibly) after the second goal had gone in, however the biggest - and most unmissable one - came during the highlights of Middlesbrough v Newcastle when, as they should have switched seemlessly from the end of the first half to the start of the second, they went straight to an after-game interview with Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink, including the interviewer asking if his goal (not yet screened on MOTD!!) was a handball!! Admittedly, very few people surely watch MOTD without knowing the score, however it may have ruined one of two endings at home.

Saturday 21st August 2004
"If certain British doctors never asked "What is this fungus?" we wouldn't today have penicillin, correct?" (Film)
The Exorcist: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Man United failed to win any of their opening three games in the first Prem season (92-93). Against whom did they finally record a victory in their fourth match?

Right, that's it! I've given up with Saturday afternoon football on the BBC! Final score is all well and good as long as they get the bloody scores right!!! With Leeds a goal up at home to Forest, it's hard enough to take a late penalty equaliser anyway without `going over to Elland Road for details` only to find Andy Reid name on screen TWICE for Forest as a scorer. This was then mirrored by their quicky scores on the left of the screen which showed Forest leading 2-1, even at full time, despite Teletext insisting that the score remained at 1-1. Having let my daughter and niece have Sky following the lunchtime kick off, I'm not making that mistake again and will revert to Soccer Saturday next weekend! Oh, and when David Unsworth scored a late own goal winner for Charlton, they called him, `Everton defender David Unsworth!`. We all make mistakes....

A day of firsts in the Prem with the aforementioned own goal the first of it's type this season and we had the first two red cards with Gary Naysmith earning the distinction of being first off the blocks. Man United earned their first win, despite being bottom after all of the afternoon games, whilst Alan Smith netted his first league goal for United and what a belter it was. 1-0 to the Chelsea could be the new chant this season as they completed their second such winning scoreline in as many games. Spare a thought finally for Newcastle who've had the Kieron Dyer affair to cope with this week, followed quickly by the shock sale of Jonathon Woodgate to Real Madrid. With that in mind, a home game against Spurs looked ideal, only to slip up 1-0! Never mind Newcastle fans, next week can only get better.

Spare a thought for East Fife's Brian Fairbairn who scored a late equaliser against Cowdenbeath, only to then get sent off straight away! I don't know the details yet, but perhaps over celebrating his goal and earning a second yellow?

Sunday 22nd August 2004
"Her hair is Harlow gold, her lips sweet surprise. Her hands are never cold." (Song)
Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

When Middlesbrough beat Arsenal 3-0 at Highbury in April 2001, which two players scored own goals?

Okay, above and beyond anything else, big congratulations to Arsenal (I should have that phrase on a macro!) as they today equalled Nottm Forest's 26-year old record of 42 games unbeaten in the top division. It's one hell of an achievement from both clubs in different eras and both should be recognised as remarkable individual feats rather than getting into the old, and totally unwinnable, discussion about which club, and indeed feat, was better. Right formalities over, didn't the Gunners ever make hard work of it!!! They were cruising towards half time a goal ahead against Boro today and somehow conceded three goals in ten minutes either side of half time, all of which were defensive errors with Lehmann beaten on his near post twice and then caught out horribly by Franck Queudrue for a comical goal! Of course, you knew that Arsenal would battle back, but even after scoring within a minute of Queudrue's goal, few of us would have expected two more in 48 seconds and I'll admit that I was out of my seat when Reyes hammered in the fourth and even now can't put my finger as to why!! It's one of those games to keep on tape (or indeed DVD) and enjoy in the future as it's likely to become a Premiership classic in future years and deservedly so. Arsenal now face Blackburn in midweek knowing that the record will be their's if they avoid defeat. After today, that won't be a formality at all.

Before the aforementioned game, I watched the Birmingham derby between West Brom and Aston Villa and was delighted to see the earliest goal of the Prem so far this season. Not that I'm a Villa fan or anything, but due to reading a `tips hint` in a national paper today which suggested that this would be a goalless draw! What it was ultimately, was a masterclass on how not to defend, especially at set pieces and although botn goals were scored from free kicks swung in from wide, there could easily have been a couple more from similar positions at both ends of the pitch. What it did do though was reitterated my belief that West Brom can stay up as they looked by far the better side in the second half and deserved a win in my opinion. Indeed had Geoff Horsfield not snatched at a great chance, they'd probably have got it.

Monday 23rd August 2004
"As I walked through the subway it must have been about quarter past three. In front of me stood a beautiful honey with a beautiful body." (Song)
Seven Days - Craig David: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which World Cup winning player was manager at Newcastle in the early 90s?
Ossie Ardiles: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

I heard about the sacking (aka `mutual consent`) of Paul Sturrock whilst shopping in Bristol today and whilst not totally surprised given the press stories last week, it does leave rather a bitter taste in the mouth when you consider that he's only been at the club for five months - and for half of that time, the summer break was on! Football may well be driven by results, but there simply has to be more to it than that surely as Saints have won one of their two games this season so far and to sack a manager that quickly on that basis is wrong. There is talk that he'd `lost the dressing room`, much like Glenn Hoddle at Spurs and equal talk that Hoddle could well be the man to return, despite ditching Saints for White Hart Lane a few years ago. Should he return, then I'm not convinced that all Saints fans will welcome him back with open arms, but as regards Sturrock, hopefully he'll find employment at a club who'll give him a fighting chance to show what he can do.

Andy D'Urso's error in not sending off Blackburn's Barry Ferguson after showing him two yellow cards at the weekend is a cock up of the highest proportions and it's good to see that the FA have charged him and are likely to take some kind of action. I also read that morning that the punishment could be anything from a fine to a total ban with other options inbetween, including `relegation` from the Prem list for `x` weeks. This is surely wrong as he'll then he officiating in the lower leagues to help get over his mistake in the top flight. Contrary to popular belief, the non-Prem clubs are equally as committed to doing well on the pitch and are equally warranted in wanting the best officials. Therefore, the motto seems to be that if they aren't welcomed in the Prem, let them take charge of Plymouth, Burnley and, of course, Leeds.

Tuesday 24th August 2004
"I wake up lonely, there's air of silence in the bedroom and all around." (Song)
It Must Have Been Love - Roxette: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who was Southampton's manager when they won the 1976 FA Cup Final?
Lawrie McMenemy: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

It's been quite a couple of days for dramatic comebacks on televised games. Arsenal quite rightly took the plaudits for their remarkable recovery against Middlesbrough on Sunday and last night I watched Wolves recover from two goals down at Rochdale to win 4-2 and reach the second round of the Carling Cup. Naturally enough, Wolves will get far less column inches than the Gunners, however it was some display and achivement from a club who've yet to win this season (and yes, that includes a game against Leeds!). The quality of the goals were high as well with two cracking headers from Rochdale and a beauty from Paul Ince which ultimately sparked the revival. Whether, as was suggested by the commentators, this will jolt Wolves' season into gear remains to be seen, however it's bound to boost the confidence despite the fact that they were outplayed for over half an hour by a fourth, sorry third, sorry League two club. Sky's last two live games have yielded fourteen goals! Crystal Palace face (1-0 to the) Chelsea tonight, so expect that good run to end dramatically!

Okay, I admit it. I watched some of the Olympics before the football last night, including the womens 800m final, won eventually by Kelly Holmes. I'll be the first to confess that, had anyone have mentioned that name to me yesterday morning, then I'd have struggled to say what she did for a living, however having witnessed that race last night, I found myself totally caught up in the entire thing. I'm not expert on athletics at all, but from my untrained eye, tactically she ran a superb race, pacing herself and remaining at the back of the racers before eventually making a move with around half a lap to go. Even on the final straight it didn't look at though she'd do it, however her obvious experience shone though and she pipped her rivals by the narrowest of margins. Two things really stuck out about the race though. The first was her confusion, followed by total delight, after she'd crossed the line as she was unsure where she'd finished and secondly was BBC commentator Brendan Foster who, before the race, said of Hasna Benhassi that, "Some will have to run very poorly for her to get a medal!" She finished second!!!

Wednesday 25th August 2004
"We could live, for a thousand years. But if I hurt you, I'd make wine from your tears." (Song)
Never Tear Us Apart - INXS: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which player scored seven goals in the Carling Cup last season (03-04), yet his club only reached the semi-final stage
Juan Pablo Angel (Aston Villa) : Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Well, it wasn't quite 1-0 to the Chelsea, but it was brutally effiecent as they beat Crystal Palace 2-0 at Selhurst Park. Unlike the Birmingham game at the weekend, Chelsea rarely looked in any danger even whilst the scores were level and while they never looked like scoring an Arsenal style hatfull of goals, they certainly weren't going to be beaten. With five changes to the starting line up, Jose Mourinho looks to be just as much a `tinkerman` as Ranieri, however on last night's display, his players have all but perfected the fine art of keeping possession and had an almost infinite ammount of patience as regards waiting for an opening and when one eventually arrived, we were treated to two quality goals from two of the summer signings, Drogba and Tiago. In short, exceptionally hard to beat even if they'll never win any awards for fast, attacking football. That said, played three, won three and yet to concede a goal, so you'll not hear any complaints from Chelsea fans!

Two weeks ago, I stated that Liverpool and Man United had a stroll into the group stages of the Champions League and although the former have indeed made it, it certainly wasn't a the forgone conclusion that a 2-0 away win in the first leg should have made it. I didn't watch the game (I chose the Chelsea match instead) but did catch the last ten minutes or so, by which time Liverpool were a goal down at home and only another strike away from being taken to extra-time. The final whistle brought relief rather than sheer delight and although they've made it to the Holy Grail of the group stages, few will be impressed by the way that they qualified against an Austrian side who looked very poor in the first leg. That said, if a side are going to splutter their way through, best to have the bad game early on and maybe it'll serve as the proverbial kick up the rear end for future important games. If it doesn't, then an early exit could well be on the cards for the perennial underachievers.

And so to the Carling Cup and the match of the round as the Mighty (Fallen) Whites of Leeds United destroyed their West Yorkshire rivals Huddersfield at Elland Road to reach round two... Ok, maybe this is a little OTT, however a 1-0 win is as good as a 7-0 win in a cup competition, even if it doesn't feel quite so good! The attendance was impressive as well with over 30,000 people braving the August monsoon and thunderstorm season to watch the game, officially the highest crowd for a first round game. I have this sneaky feeling that we'll get either Villa, Bolton or Spurs in the next round, especially as we never seem to beat them!

Thursday 26th August 2004
"I'm rooting for the crocodile. I hope he swallows your friends whole." (Film)
Lake Placid: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Wayne Rooney scored his first ever league goal against which club?
Arsenal: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Plenty to talk about in the football world today, however we'd best start with Arsenal who, unsurprisingly, re-wrote the record books last night with their 43rd successive game unbeaten in the top flight, beating Forest's 25 year old record. When I saw that it was goalless at half time, I did wonder if the Souness connection was going to happen as the Blackburn boss was in the Liverpool side that ended Forest's run in 1978, however after the break, normal service was resumed and Arsenal won 3-0. Looking at their next batch of games, whilst no Prem match is ever easy, they have six more games before they face Man United at Old Trafford, and although some look tricky (Bolton, Fulham away), you wouldn't bet against them being on 49 when they travel to Salford. Amazing achievement though especially playing the sort of free-flowing game that they are, unlike Forest who were built on a rock solid defence.

Elsewhere last night, I watched Newcastle press the self destruct button at home to Norwich as they lost a two goal second half lead. Credit to Delia's lads who almost did the same at Old Trafford last Saturday, however Newcastle fans must be wondering just what else can screw up this season. Shearer to join Man United would be my bet (joking ok!!). Biggest surprise for me was Villa getting walloped at Charlton. I've still got a soft spot for David O'Leary after the good times at Leeds and feel that he's trying to do the same at Villa Park, however this looked more of a glitch than anything else, although again credit to Charlton for bouncing back well from their own opening day hammering. Finally to Southampton and I must admit that whilst I've nothing against the club, I was glad to see them lose at home to Bolton last night after the Sturrock saga. Indeed, speaking to a Saints season ticket holder in the shop where I work today, he felt the same, although he added that the players showed little fight at all. As he said, "I don't mind paying �500 for a season ticket if the (BLEEP)ers who are earning 20k a week show some (BLEEP) effort!" The cynic in him also suggested that the chairman wanted Sturrock sacked in the summer, but felt that season ticket sales would suffer if they did!! Hmmm....

Finally to the Wayne Rooney saga which almost overshadowed the actual football last night. With Newcastle and Man United involved in a �20m+ bidding war, Everton's chairman today states that they don't need to sale Rooney and that the final decision is down to manager David Moyes. Yeah right! Moyes has already said that he'll resign if he's sold so on that tact, he's staying at Goodison! Then the big wigs begin to smell that �20m bonanza and order the sale and the rest is history! So where will he go? Think of Gordon McQueen who said, "99% of players want to play for Man United. The other 1% are lying!". Old Trafford, here he comes.

Friday 27th August 2004
"Deep in the dark, you'll surrender your heart." (Song)
Can't Fight The Moonlight - LeAnn Rimes: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Two current Premiership players played in last seasons (03-04) UEFA Cup Final. Who were they?
Mathieu Flamini and Didier Drogba: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

I always enjoy watching the draw for the group stages of the Champions League. Not so much to find out who's playing who, although that does help, but more the way in which they handle what should be a complicated draw in such a simple way. No more than one club from the same country can be in the same group is the main criteria and even then, some clubs cannot play on the same DAY as others (Man U and Arsenal for example!) due to televisual contracts I assume, leaving the whole process something of a lottery which actually ran remarkable well yesterday. As with any cup draw, it throws up some fascinating games and with the group stages, the likelyhood is enhanced due to three opponents for each club. Henrik Larsson returning to Celtic with Barcelona would normally be top of the list, however with Chelsea and Porto paired together, the return of Blues boss Jose Mourinho to his former club - the club that he guided to the trophy last May - is easily the highlight. Ironically, he'll not return to Portugal until the final group game, by which time either club could be guaranteed a place in the knock outs, or indeed be eliminated, however you wonder what sort of reception he'll get from his former fans. Maybe he'll be the returning hero or perhaps the Judas who deserted the club after their greatest ever triumph. Whatever way, it'll be interesting to find out.

The shop where I work is on a busy main road and we frequently get people in asking for directions. One such chap came in the other day asking for a school which happens to be in the same street as my house! I explained how to get to it and that it was quite straight forward, to which he replied, "Not to my satelite navigational system it isn't!". He went on to explain how his company (I assumed he was a rep of some kind) had paid for these systems to be installed into all their cars, however due to safety reasons a few years back, our particular street had barriers put in it half way up to stop it being a thoroughfare and risking the safety of the schoolkids. This had totally confused this chaps navigational system and, as he explained, he'd been driving around in a mile wide triangle (completely on the outside of the street he needed!) simply by following the instructions of his SNS for at least three rotations without actually managing to find the street! Technology is wonderful....when it works!

So, Wayne Rooney has slapped in a transfer request! No surprise there really, although it's a surefire way of getting the fans that previously adored you to suddenly turn against you. You know, those who fell for the `Once A Blue, Always A Blue` vest routine a few months ago.... Far be it for me to even bring up the subject of loyalty, even for an 18-year old whose played for the club that he loves (loved?) for less than two years. Far be it for me to suggest that even staying at Everton for another year or two would not have been a bad thing. Even at 20 or 21, his career still has 10+ years ahead of it. Nope, the big clubs and big salary came a-calling and Rooney has sold his soul to the devil, whether it's Newcastle or, more likely, Man United. Two plus points though. Firstly, if he goes to Old Trafford, it's almost certain that it'll cost Alan Smith a regular first team place and secondly, and specifically for Everton fans...it could have been worse, he could have gone to Liverpool!!!

Saturday 28th August 2004
"We said we'd say it was the snow that killed the other two, but it wasn't. Nature is lethal but it doesn't hold a candle to man." (Film)
Deep Blue Sea: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Howard Wilkinson left which club to manage Leeds in 1988?
Sheffield Wednesday: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

"They were lucky!" Those were my words to the Man United fan who started work at the same shop as myself a few weeks ago. I'd rung the shop for a different reason and, as he'd not heard any details of the 1-1 draw, including last ditch equaliser from Smiffy, I filled him in about the handball in the build up and how Blackburn were told that it was three minutes of stoppage time, only for four to come up on the board! To be truthful though and with my unbiased head on, United deserved at least a draw and probably warranted a victory. I counted at least six fine saves by Brad Friedal as he single-handedly kept the Red Devils out and, although they did indeed need a slice of luck with the handball, few could argue with the result over the entire context of the game.

The same could be said of Arsenal's tea-time slaughter of innocent Norwich. Delia's lads were ripped apart in the first half as Arsenal had the game wrapped up by half time. When the second half began with the home fans singing, "We're gonna win 4-3!", you knew that it was tongue firmly in cheek, however a penalty gave them hope and, like at Ewood Park, some good goalkeeping kept the scoreline down. Ultimately though, Arsenal were awesome and arrogant in equal measures today and, with all due respect, it's going to take a better side than Norwich to end this amazing run.

Elsewhere, no game for Leeds as we travel to Sheffield United tomorrow. A local derby on a Bank Holiday weekend, well planned eh! In the Prem, shock horror as Alan Shearer was left on the bench for the first time in the league in three years! The last time saw the beginning of the end for Ruud Gullitt as boss, so will the same happen to Sir Bobby after the 4-2 defeat at Villa Park? I doubt it, but it's still a major cardinal sin. Agony and estacy for James Beattie who scored at Chelsea with 12 SECONDS of kick off, the fourth quickest goal in the 12 years of the Prem, and then promptly put through his own net half an hour later to equalise! Like Arsenal and Villa, Man City also scored four as Charlton's indifferent start to the season continued and although Nik Anelka scored twice, the transfer speculation continues and you wonder if that's his last game for the club. Hopefully not as he maybe a tempermental sod, but his quality adds to the attraction of the Prem!

Finally, ahead of tomorrow and Monday's games, the top three are all London clubs with Arsenal and Chelsea being followed by Spurs! I wonder when that last happened!

Sunday 29th August 2004
"And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco Bay and you realise you can't make it anyway." (Song)
Don't Marry Her - Beautiful South: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Which current Bolton player once scored an FA Cup hat-trick against them?

Bit of a mixed bag for two of my clubs today, both of whom were involved in locals derbies. Leeds were at Sheffield United, the scene of one of our greatest moments in recent memory when we effectively clinched the title there in 1992, although Liverpool beating Man United helped as well! No such unbridled joy and delight today though as Kevin Blackwell made a losing 2-0 return to his former club. So, after six games, we're 16th in the league and haven't won a league game since the opening day. Time to panic? Maybe not quite yet, but it doesn't alter the fact that, sooner or later, defeats must be turned into draws and draws into wins before that relegation spectre becomes a little too large in front of us. Perhaps it's that old `lack of patience` from myself and maybe other fans as well, but after last season, and despite the promising start to this campaign, things are beginning to look a little too familiar.

My SPL side did at least give something to smile about as Celtic beat Rangers in the first Old Firm game of the season, although this sort of result has almost become a quarterly occurance under Martin O'Neill. So far, the departure of Henrik Larsson doesn't seem to have affected them as much as many felt that it would, although it still wouldn't surprise me to see another striker signed, maybe even before the transfer window closes on Tuesday (Rooney maybe, hehehe!!). Rangers on the other hand must be giving their fans nothing but frustration after being swept aside last season by their rivals, the same seems to be happening again. Going out of the Champions League would have hurt as well, especially with Celtic already in the group stages. Their time will doubtless come again, but for now, the Green and White half of Glasgow can enjoy things.

Monday 30th August 2004
" I don't mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile. Ask her if she wants to stay a while." (Song)
She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Who was the first player-manager to appear in an FA Cup Final?

Just over two weeks into the season and another Prem manager bites the dust with Newcastle and Sir Bobby Robson parting ways. I feel somewhat guilty, and indeed spooked, after reading my comments on Saturday and you do seriously wonder about the Shearer-situation, after all lightening doesn't often strike twice! Ultimately though we have another club who are off to a poor start and aren't prepared to wait to try and allow the boss and players to drag them out of it, especially after the off-the-field problems incurred at St James this season. The obvious disagreement between Sir Bobby and the board about this being his last season (his last month would have been more accurate!). The Kieron Dyer bust up and the sell of Woodgate to Real Madrid hasn't helped matters and you can't but help feeling a little sorry for him as this may well be the closing chapter in his management career and it'll will end with a sacking. One final thing. Will the Barclays Premiership continue with that advert where all the fans are Bobby Robson's (and a few other Prem managers here and there)?

In a quiet spell at work today (Yes, I was working on a Bank Hol as well!), I got thinking about James Beattie's quickfire goal at the weekend and others which were scored within a blink of an eye within kick off. Now, without checking, I'm not sure whether these are quicker or slower than Beattie's, but they're all around the 10-15 seconds mark, starting with Blackburn's Chris Sutton against Everton in the title season. I also remember Ledley King cracking the Bradford net in around 9.9 seconds and I think that Mark Viduka was even quicker for Leeds against Charlton not too long ago. So, what's the common these with all these goals? Well, they were all scored by the AWAY team! Of course, this totally useless stat proves nothing apart from maybe that certain home clubs are not quite as awake as they should be.

Tuesday 31st August 2004
" When I was here, I wanted to be there, when I was there all I could think of was getting back into the jungle." (Film)
Apocalypse Now: Correctly answered by Helen Lloyd

Nigerian born Yakubu joined Portsmouth from which club?

When the fixtures were announced for the new season, followed shortly afterwards by those games chosen for live TV coverage, then by any stretch of the imagination, Portsmouth v Fulham hardly leapt off the page as `must see` viewing. Those of us who did give it a go last night though were treated to a cracker! Seven goals, bad misses, brilliant saves and even an altercation between player and fan led to a hugely entertaining evenings viewing, even if it was the stuff of nightmares for the managers and, in patricular, their respective defensive coaches. With Portsmouth ultimately winning 4-3, even after being three goals up after less than half an hour, it strengthened my belief that they'll not be heavily involved in a relegation battle this season, especially with the arrival of Ricardo Fuller from Preston who looked a real live wire all game. Yakuku's hat trick was impressive enough without including any `goal of the month` contenders, however a goal is a goal, regardless of quality. All told, a hugely enjoyable evening's viewing and whilst Messers Redknapp and Coleman will be happy enough with their strikers, I think some extra work on the training ground regardless the defence may be on the cards this week.

I don't know whether it's just me or not, but I often feel flat having finished reading a decent novel. Take `The Burning Girl` from Mark Billingham, which I finished yesterday having enjoyed his first three Tom Thorne books. Don't get me wrong, it is, once again, an excellent read from the stand-up comic turned crime writer, but unlike Hollywood films, novels are often different in that a loose-end (or three) is often left totally open and a traditional happy ending is not always on the cards. Billingham's style is such that humour and tragedy are usually very well mixed and this was no exception, indeed I found myself laughing aloud at one particular chapter, even telling my wife (an avid non-reader) about it! Subsequently, the final couple of pages, after the primary story had been all but wrapped up, left me totally stunned and drained and feeling utterly sorry for the aforementioned Thorne. Okay, realistically we're talking about a character in the imagination of a very good story teller and all Billingham has done has left one massive thread hanging, presumably leaving myself and other readers gasping for the next book. And that's precisely what's happened!! Roll on Tom Thorne Part 5!

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