Views From The Armchair

Views From The `Footiemad` Armchair
Diary Of A Season April 2006

Saturday 1st April 2006
"You had a conversation with God, huh? What did God say? Go forth, my son, and leave big slobbery suction rings on every dashboard you find?" (Film Quote)
Crash: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Which former Leeds player had two spells as manager at Elland Road and a spell in between at Hull City?

Good Day For The Basement Clubs: It's not often that none of the bottom three lose on any given weekend, however it all happened today as bottom club Sunderland gained a good draw at Everton, Portsmouth won at Fulham and, perhaps most surprisingly, Birmingham held Chelsea! Now, I know I mentioned that I could see Chelsea dropping points in April, but I didn't expect them to today at a club that have been leaking goals with massive regularity of late. In truth, they deserved it as Chelsea struggled to get up any head of steam until the final few minutes. Ironically enough, all three in the drop zone remain there, although it's closer now (Sunderland aside) with West Brom having lost to Liverpool. You get the feeling we could be in for a drama filled finale at the bottom like last season.

United On Fire: Another day and another win, the eighth in a row, for Man United as they won at Bolton, a result which not only left them just seven points behind Chelsea, but also dented Bolton's CL hopes. This was even more emphasised with Spurs being well beaten at Newcastle and coupled with Arsenal walloping Villa, Spurs' own fourth place now looks decidely dodgy, indeed if results continue to go against them, they could end up missing out on Europe altogether as, much like the bottom, it's getting tight around 4th to 7th and anything could yet happen.

Lets All Laugh At Leeds. I can't believe that we did it again! With Palace beating Watford last night, we had a golden chance to go third and a draw in an early game at Hull would have given us just that. So we bloody lose again! No goal in three games and no win in five is relegation material and we are lucky in the respect that the points we have in the bag should at least keep us in with a play off spot. It's all the more galling at Sheffield United also slipped up again with a draw at Stoke with ultimately puts them further clear! If, or I should say when, we fail to reach the Premiership, then March and the beginning of April will be looked back upon with a `What If?` question mark hanging over it.

Sunday 2nd April 2006
"It ain't easy growing up in World War III. Never knowing what love could be, you'll see I don't want love to destroy me." (Song Lyric)
Family Portrait - Pink: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Hearts last won the Scottish Cup in 1998 when they beat which club?

Edinburgh's Finest: After working all morning, I was lucky enough to catch the second half of the Scottish Cup SF between Edinburgh pair Hibs and Hearts. The latter were a goal up at half time and went on to win at a canter by 4-0, aided and abetted by two red cards late on to Hibs players and both were largely what interested me. The first, shown to already booked Ivan Sproule, was for stamping on the back of Saulius Mikoliunas, however whilst it was clearly deserving of the straight red that it got, the Hearts man did seem to have a bit of a delayed reaction to the stamp, only grasping his back a couple of seconds after the incident. The second, another straight red, went to Gary Smith for pulling the shirt of an attacker as he bore down on goal, but again, look at the reaction of the Hibs man this time who seemed totally stunned that the ref had sent him off for what was one of the most obvious red cards of the season. Good entertainment though, albeit a bit one-sided.

Mid Table Mediocrity: Unfortunately, entertainment was largely missing as West Ham and Charlton battled out a goalless draw at Upton Park, although `battled` seems a bit un-apt in truth. It's a shame but the game rarely got going apart from a couple of second half chances to the Hammers. Mostly, the commentators seemed content to concentrate on Teddy Sheringham playing on his 40th birthday and whilst he did come as close to anyone to scoring, that would have been the only reason for the game to make back page headlines. These two could yet meet in the FA Cup semi final! If they do, it has to be a better game for the neutral surely?

Monday 3rd April 2006
"You just fulfilled the first rule of law enforcement. Make sure when your shift is over you go home alive. Here endeth the lesson." (Film Quote)
The Untouchables: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Which manager said the following of which other boss in 1997? "He's comes from Japan and is telling to tell English people how to arrange their football."
Sir Alex Ferguson about Arsene Wenger: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Rivals ReUnited: In the world of football rivarly, Swansea and Cardiff are pretty high on the list, so when Swansea won the football league trophy (formerly known as the LDV Vans) at the Millennium Stadium yesterday, I imagine things could hardly have got sweeter for their fans, even if the win was against lower division Carlisle. But it did get sweeter as star striker Lee Trundle produced a flag that bore the inscription, "F**k off Cardiff!" and donned one of those T-shirts that you see at the seaside with a Swansea fan peeing on a Cardiff shirt (although most rival clubs have their own version). Trundle looks set to incur the wrath of the FA who, not surprisingly, take a dim view of such public goading and, as the Swansea chairman said, "This could be something that Lee lives to regret." That could be the understatement of the year so far!! That said, I blame Carlisle as in 1995, they were also the opponents when Birmingham's Paul Tait unveiled his "S**t on the Villa T-Shirt at Wembley!

Cat Fight Is On: Most of us would have seen Michael Brown's tackle on Sean Davis at the weekend that got the former sent off. In fairness, it was a potential leg breaker and Davis, a former team mate of Brown's had every right to be annoyed at a challenge that could have done serious damage. But, rather than keep a dignified silence, Davis has said his piece and I must admit, it did raise a smile. He stated, in no uncertain terms that, "If that's what you have to reduce him to then that's what happens. He's only an average player anyway." Meow!!

Tuesday 4th April 2006
"And when I am king surely I would need a queen and a palace and everything." (Song Lyric)
Kingston Town - UB40: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Last season, just two non-European players managed ten or more Premiership goals, which two?

Three Wrongs Don't Make A Right: Well that was quite an interesting game at Ewood last night. The final 1-1 scoreline between Blackburn and Wigan hardly touched on what was another remarkable display from ref Phil Dowd, who you might recall was the one who spent most of the Merseyside derby brandishing cards like Christmas time. This time is wasn't so much the cards as the decisions, starting with two disallowed goals in a matter of a few first half minutes. The first was for a `challenge` on keeper John Filan by Paul Dickov, although challenge is perhaps too strong a word. Brushed would be more appropriate. However, goalkeepers are as endangered a specices as Giant Panda's these days, so goal ruled out. Then came the Wigan effort as Arjan De Zeuuw netted from his own header only for the linesman to raise his flag. Offside? Foul? Handball? Phone a friend? None of these seemed applicable. Now, I don't know whether officials can or cannot see half time highlights in their room at half time, but if they did and realised their mistake(s) then they put it right for Blackburn at least late on when Filan, whilst not quite having the ball under controlled, was barged into by Lucas Neill allowing Shefki Kuqi to net an equaliser. The challenge was easily worthy of the name, yet this time no foul? Now, hands up which players want consistancy?

Wednesday 5th April 2006
"Well, you never know if your next meal's going to be your last. Especially with your cooking." (Film Quote)
The Chronicles of Narnia: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Which club was in two of the first four European Cup finals, but lost both?

Lucky Italy: In the first knockout round it was Juve who survived by the grace of an almighty balls up by the Werder Bremen keeper and now in the quarter finals, Milan are the lucky ones after needing two late goals to sink Lyon and avoid going out of the Champions League on away goals. For a while, I could see Lyon being the Porto of this season's competition and perhaps winning the thing against all the odds and expectations (although I suspect that Barca would have had something to say about that, assuming they go through tonight) however it wasn't to be and they squeezed through by a length of pasta. City rivals Inter weren't so lucky and went out on away goals to Villarreal and if Arsenal can do their bit tonight in Turin, it would leave just one Serie A side left in when it could have easily been three. That said, on the luck of the Italians so far, a few quid on them winning the World Cup could be a good bet.

Famous Last Words: A trip to any City Centre generally involves not only avoiding the crowds, but also the clipboard mob. We were in Bath today and there were plenty of clippies just waiting to acost you and entice you into anything from giving to a Charity, enrolling in Greenpeace or joining the Moonies (ok, not the last one, but you get the point). Now Bath was awash with tourists, as it always is this time of the year, so the clippies tend to avoid those obviously and usually avoid families for some reason, so when we (myself, wife and daughter) managed o skillfully avoid one such sweet smiling old dear, my wife pointed out that, "They never ask us any more." She was right and we are grateful for that luxury, however within seconds, another clippy OAP was right in front of us waving a book the size of the yellow pages in our face asking, "Do you have a Littlewoods catalogue at home?" We did the correct and rightful thing and lied and said that we did!

Thursday 6th April 2006
"If you find a mate in life, you should be loyal or in your case, grateful.." (Film Quote)
Ice Age: Correctly answered by kirstymd

Who was Celtic boss when they famously lost at home in the Scots Cup to Inverness Caledonian Thistle in Feb 2000?
John Barnes: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Boringly Effective: Okay, lets be honest, Arsenal's goalless draw in Turin was hardly video material, however they did what they had to do and eased through overall with few problems. Juventus were hampered by injuries, suspensions and, late on, a reduction in numbers as they tried to break the record for the most players sent off in a two-legged tie, but apart from the odd heart-in-mouth moment, they never got up any head of steam, leaving the Gunners with a fairly sedate passage through to the semi's. Equally, a record was set as they went most minutes without conceding in the Champions League to add another line to their collective CV. Of all the clubs left in, Arsenal have the easiest draw and at the risk of tempting fate, will surely never have a better chance of reaching the final and if they do, that will be mouth-watering to say the least as they'll take on Milan or Barca. However, lets savour that when it happens and hope that Arsenal don't self destruct against Villarreal.

Celtic Champions: It almost went unnoticed, but Celtic regained their SPL title last night with a narrow win against nearest rivals Hearts, who themselves were off to a great start this season only to be hampered by behind the scenes problems and three different managers in a matter of months. In truth, Celtic should have won it last season but blew it in the final minutes of the last game, however no such trouble this time around. As much as I like the club, it's also great to see Gordon Strachan having some managerial success after a glittering career which included helping Leeds from the old second division of course and it was typical of him to put all the praise on the players. It's all a far cry from early in the season when they lost 5-0 in the CL to Artmedia and were struggling in the league. A victory for teamwork and determination and a never say die attitude.

Friday 7th April 2006
"She's got a smile that it seems to me reminds me of childhood memories ." (Song Lyric)
Sweet Child O'Mine - Guns And Roses: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Which rarely played tournament did Middlesbrough win in 1976?

Brilliant Boro! Like many others, I hoped Middlesbrough could somehow overturn their 2-0 first leg deficit against Basel, but didn't hold too high a hope, however didn't they ever do well!! Whilst commentator Jon Champion (I think) may have overdone the `staggering` bits at the final whistle, he wasn't far wrong as, not only did they get the 4-1 win that they needed, but it was done having gone behind to an away goal in the second leg as well! After that, it was "Melchester Rovers Roy Of The Rovers" material, right down to the last minute clincher to send them through, but only after Basel missed a glorious even later chance to put themselves back ahead. In many ways, it reminded me of our CL game in 1992 against Stuttgart when we lost the first leg 3-0 and having gone ahead at Elland Road, then conceded an away goal. After that, it was almost as if the manager had said, "Oh sod it, lets throw on attacking players and go for it!" In our case we also won 4-1 but went out on away goals and then were back in after they fielded an illegible player, but the similarities were there as Boro threw caution to the wind and ultimately got their reward and much like most of the Riverside, I was up off the chair when Massimo Maccarone scored that late winner. Great stuff and a reminder that football, for all it's faults, can still be top class entertainment.

Saturday 8th April 2006
"When I was in China on the All-American Ping Pong team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle." (Film Quote)
Forrest Gump: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Which player starred in Spurs' double winning side of 1961 and then went on to manage to different club to the league title in the 70s?

Good Day For Spurs: Just four Prem games today, although it should have been five had Sunderland v Fulham not been abandoned after 22 minutes due to a combination of waterlogged pitch and snow! Yes, snow! In April!! Of the four games that remained, only one had a definite result as Spurs narrowly beat Man City in a game notable for some superb saves from City keeper David James and the odd howler as well. That Champions League place remains in their grasp, especially if Arsenal slip at Man United tomorrow, although the game between the North London giants in two weeks time could decide it.

Bye-Bye Sunderland: The upshot of Sunderland's game being called off and Birmingham drawing at Wigan is that the Wearsiders are effectively down. They could escape on goal difference but only if they win all their remaining games and Birmingham lose all of their's and that's as likely as Leeds scoring a goal at the moment, so The Stadium of Light will host Championship football next season.

Deja Vu: Once again Leeds do my head in with another home goalless draw. We're now nine points adrift of Sheffield United with four games left and I'm resigned to a play off spot which if my maths is correct, we did clinch today as we're 13 points ahead of seventh placed Wolves. A month ago it was looking so promising only to have the mother of all dips in form just at the wrong time. Even today it looked promising as the Blades blew a two goal lead at home to Hull only to spoil it late on with a last ditch winner. Still, no point dwelling on it. The play offs are a lottery and we'll have as good or bad a chance as the trio of other clubs which now look likely to be Watford, Preston and Palace.

Sunday 9th April 2006
"Even through the darkest phase. Be it thick or thin. Always someone marches brave. Here beneath my skin." (Song Lyric)
Constant Craving - k.d.lang: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Who are the only Premiership club to be relegated despite winning more points that season than FOUR other clubs?
Middlesbrough (96-97 thanks to a three points deduction): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Three live games on the bounce today which after eight hours at work was just up my street:

Chelsea On Fire: I got in from work just in time to see West Ham win a corner against Chelsea and equally just in time to see James Collins head the Hammers in front with, what has to be said was a stunning goal. Even then, Chelsea made three good chances in six minutes before the red card to Maniche for an over-the-ball tackle which, whilst dangerous, was not the worst I've seen this season and could, with another ref, have resulted in a yellow rather than a red. Ultimately it did little but egg Chelsea on as they destroyed the Hammers with a superb display of attacking football, scoring four times with a man less and fully exorcising the poor result at Birmingham last week. Yes, they deserved the win and edge closer to retaining their title, but they still have tricky away games at Bolton and Blackburn as well as a home game against Man United to come and whilst they remain favourites, United showed that they are intent on keeping up with the Mourinho's.

Rooney On Fire: Star of the show as United beat Arsenal was easily Wayne Rooney. Scored one, made one and could have netted two or three more as he turned on the style against another in form team. I was a bit surprised that Thierry Henry was left on the best. Rested apparently, although even when he came on, his tendency to heavily underperform against the better sides was all too obvious. But take nothing away from United who deserved their win, although I doubt little will be made of that incident before half time when Kolo Toure handled Rooney's shot against the post. In fairness, even the commentators needed three replays to finally see what had happened, so for any criticism that might be forthcoming, it's probably unjust.

Monday 10th April 2006
"Ever seen a blind man cross the road trying to make the other side? Ever seen a young girl growing old trying to make herself a bride." (Song Lyric)
Handbags and Gladrags - Rod Stewart: Correctly] answered by Matt Robbins

In 1998, West Ham boss Harry Redknapp said the following about which veteran new arrival at his club? - "He's so enthusiastic. He's like a two-year old."

Rooney Overkill? Wayne Rooney seems to be the latest big name to suffer from `Beckham Syndrome` and get himself featured on as many front pages as back pages at the moment. This weekend sent the tabloids into overdrive as it was revealed that he likes a bet and owes/lost a substantial ammount of cash. Maybe he lost a �25,000 car to team-mate Phil Bardsley. Maybe he owes �700,000 in gambling debts. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Bottom line is who cares and what does it matter to the great British public even if it is true. In reality, the sums of money we're talking about are a dream to most of us, whilst to Rooney and his ilk, it's a yearly sponsorship deal out of many and he can probably afford to lose it! Much as I dislike the guy, he's still young and likes a bet, however whereas most of us may have a fiver on Man United to beat Sunderland 4-1, Rooney has a �100,000 bet on a 50-1 outsider to win the Grand National. Either way, if he can afford it and it's not affecting his displays on the pitch, as anyone who saw yesterday's game will testify, then where's the problem?

One of my pet hates is something that I often see in the back of cars that I'm stuck behind in traffic jams and it's uncanny how many car owners decide that these things are a plus point for their vehicle. Yes, the modern day equilivent of the furry dice in the front is the nodding dog in the back! You've seen them and may even have one, but they are those canines with bouncy necks whose heads bobble around aimlessly with every bump that the car goes over and in the UK, most roads have more than their fair share of `bumps`. So, when my daughter went to the seaside with my mother and step-father at the weekend, I was pleased when she rang me to tell me that she'd won me a present in the 2p `push-machine` arcade, only to discover that it was, yes, a nodding dog! Lovely thought though, however it didn't make it to the car, but instead is on top of my monitor, head bouncing away with every key tap!

Tuesday 11th April 2006
Which actor has played the following characters in his career? David Callaway, Al Capone, Jimmy Conway and Max Cady?
Robert De Niro: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Which club won the now defunct Cup Winners Cup a record four times?

Trouble At T'Bridge? Five games to go and back and back titles within their reach, Chelsea should be on the crest of a wave and we enter the run in and probably are. All it would take though are a few ill-advised comments from someone within the game to knock things off target - enter Didier Drogba! He is reported to have said, "Our squad last season was mentally tougher. Others have arrived with different qualities which are not enough to see things through." I'll bet the five players that have arrived this season are absolutely thrilled about this! Sometime in the next few days, expected something from the club that the quotes were out of context and all is well with all the players.

If you're ever hungry whilst out and about in London, then Selfridges have a superb offer on at the moment - a McDonald Sandwich. Now, aside from the fact that it could easily be mistaken for something from a fast food place, this contains the following: Foie gras, black truffle, the best brie cheese and red pepper confit all combined with the coup de grace - Japanese Wagyu beef! Now, I have no idea what half of that is or what it tastes like, but apparently the cows that produce the beef are top of the range and are fed on the best grain as well as, wait for this, beer and japanese wine! They also get a weekly massage! So from the sublime to the ridiculous we go as all these top ingredients and high class living for the cows comes at a price with would instantly put all but the wealthy off. This would set you back a cool �85!! Think I'll stick with my corned beef and tomato ketchup somehow. Oh the name comes from it's inventor - a Mr Scott McDonald.

Wednesday 12th April 2006
"Take your time, think a lot. Think of everthing you've got for you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not." (Song Lyric)
Father And Son - Boyzone: Correctly answered by Kirsty

In their one Premiership season, against which club did Wolves come from 3-0 down to win 4-3?
Leicester: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Beware: Potential King Kong Spoilers Alert!! When the new megabucks version of King Kong came out before Christmas last year, we'd hope to get to the cinema to see it, however various things stopped us and we didn't. So, when it came out on DVD this week, we snapped it up (�9.99 at Morrisons) and watched it yesterday and to be honest, I was a bit deflated by it. Everyone knows the story so I won't dwell on it, however for all the good things, there was much that could have been improved on. The first hour or so was the journey to the island and many younger or impatients viewers would struggle to keep their concentration long enough or would bombard fellow viewers with "When do we see the big monkey?" The second - and longest - segment on the island is fine as we're introduced to Kong and various others creatures but again whilst some effects are good, others where the humans are running with dinasours, are hard to swallow as they always seem to be running under the feet of the animals and don't get crushed or out-run. The final New York section was a little too much of Kong smashing up cars, although I did like the bit when he's in the theatre and escapes, especially trying to get up to the upper balcony. This version also gives Kong a more human side notably in two scenes, one of which did make me smile! So all told, not bad despite the three hours of running time, but I somehow expected better. Maybe my expectations were too high, but the enjoyment of a film can often be measured regarding repeated viewings and whilst I'm glad to have seen it once, I won't be rushing around to find time to watch it again in the near future.

Thursday 13th April 2006
"In these old familiar rooms children would play. Now there's only emptiness, nothing to say." (Song Lyric)
Knowing Me Knowing You - ABBA: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Emmanuel Adebayor is an international for which nation?

Looney Lua-Lua: Whilst Portsmouth's excellent 1-1 draw with Arsenal had ramifications at both ends of the table, one of the talking points was undoubtedly the injury sustained by Lomana Lua-Lua, apparently when he landed after heading in the equaliser. Sadly for him, euphoria then took over and the customary back-flips and subsequent landing, did his foot or ankle no good at all and off he went three minutes later. I don't know the extent of the injury, but if such an influencial player misses any games in the final weeks of the season, I daresay that boss Harry Redknapp will be less than impressed. That aside, I decided to watch this one ahead of the superior-sounding Middlesbrough cup game and am glad that I did as the final twenty minutes were edge of the seat stuff and it was worth seeing for Arsenal missing some absolute sitters, especially from Emanuel Adebayor who I've been impressed with so far. So has fourth place gone for the Gunners? Possibly, but take a look at the next two games for Spurs. Man United at home and then Arsenal away!

Boro through: Middlesbrough are rapidly making a name for themselves in the cups this season. Two semi finals now yet league form which leaves a lot to be desired. I've only seen snippets of their 4-2 win over Charlton, however Mark Viduka again seemed to be the top man with a fine goal and decent all round display. The highest irony now though is that if West Ham beat them in the Semi's and the lose out in Europe, then they aren't likely to be in European competitions at all next season! How the mighty could be about to fall.

Good Friday & Easter Saturday
14th And 15th April 2006
"Trying to taste the difference between a lemon and a lime. Pain and the pleasure and the church bells softly chime." (Song Lyric)
Senses Working Overtime - XTC: Correctly answered by Kirsty

What `first` did Huddersfield's Iain Dunn achieve in November 1994?
The first player to score a `Golden Goal` winner in a cup match played in Britain (Huddersfield v Lincoln - Autowindscreens Cup): Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Title Race Over? Despite what I said a couple of weeks ago about the title race, it looks over now. Easter is traditionally the time in the football calender when various things are sorted and after Man United somehow failed to win at home to Sunderland last night, Chelsea had the ideal chance to put a nine point gap between them and United with four games to go and they did just that with a 2-0 win at Bolton today. Neither game was particularly entertaining, although the United game was certainly nail biting with the knowledge that one late goal could put huge pressure on Chelsea. Ultimately it didn't arrive and it was somewhat ironic that Sunderland's best result of the season culminated in relegation being comfirmed. Goal difference aside, the title could be won on Monday if United lose at Spurs and Chelsea beat Everton, but that's for another day.

Spurs Keep Going: I've had my doubts throughout, but Spurs continue to hold onto that fourth place spot after a win at Everton and although Arsenal also won, they still know that they could lose at Highbury next weekend and still finish fourth by winning their other games. This week is vital for Spurs with Man United and Arsenal facing them. If they remain unbeaten, then fourth place is surely there's. Lose both and the dream could well be over. But then if Arsenal win the CL...!

Promotion For The White Rose County! Although sadly not Leeds! Despite our draw (and we scored!!!) against Champions Reading today, Sheffield United's win at Cardiff yesterday confirmed their automatic promotion and leaves Tuesday's clash between the clubs as little more than a party for the home side and a bitter pill to swallow for us Leeds fans. There's no point harping on about how our recent bad spell has cost us a potential automatic place as it's irrelevant now anyway but a half decent run of late would have set up Tuesday's game brilliantly. On the plus side, the Prem next season will be improved by the management of Neil Warnock who should give Jose a run for his money in interviews!

Quick Fire Leicester One of the fastest goals, if not the fastest, of the season came at The Walkers Stadium where Leicester scored against Preston after just NINE SECONDS! Matty Fryer was the scorer which was also the quickest goal in history by a Foxes player. Somewhat ironically they went on to lose 2-1. Still, they dominated the opening minute.

Goals In The Ayr! Awful pun I know, but what a game at Dumbarton as the hosts lost 5-4 to Ayr. A quick dissection of the goal times shows the vistors 3-0 up after just 12 minutes and 4-1 ahead early in the second half. The home side then scored three in eleven minutes to pull level only to concede a winner on 79 minutes. And who says that the Scots can't score!

Easter Sunday - 16th April 2006
The soundtrack to which film includes Flashdance, Moving On Up and Hot Stuff?
The Full Monty: Correctly answered by Kirsty

Chris Sutton's only league goal for Chelsea was in a famous 5-0 win over Man United, but which United player scored an own goal in the same game?

Goal Of The Season? I didn't see either game this afternoon as we were out, however I did watch the second city derby `as live` in the evening having somehow managed to avoid the score all day and was I glad that I did as this was highly entertaining with a stunningly good goal mixed in. Had you shown Gary Cahill's second half overhead, bicycle, acrobatic effort to anyone not in the know then they'd be hard pushed to guess that he was a 20-year old centre-half making only his third appearance for the club! Okay, it was from close range, but so many things could have gone wrong had he not have connected perfectly. The ball could have flew into Row Z or he could have missed it completely and ended up flat on his back with the proverbial egg on his face, but it was to his great credit that he attempted it and it paid off big time! It probably secures Villa survival for another season and, as a bonus for their fans, edges their great local rivals a step near playing us next season!

Offside or not Offside? I'll be honest. I didn't watch any of this game apart from checking the score on teletext after watching the above match (nothing to do with the snooker being on in the evening of course!), however controversy reigned at Ewood Park as Blackburn lost to Liverpool thanks to a goal that involved Djibril Cisse `offside` but not interfering as Morientes and Fowler combined to score. I have some sympathy with Blackburn as Cisse was very close to the play and not yards away on the other side of the pitch, however the rule as it stands is not really clear one way or another and a similar incident in another game could be called offside easily with different officials.

Monday 17th April 2006
"I couldn't take much more of those coconuts. Coconut milk is a natural laxative. That's something Gilligan never told us." (Film Quote)
Castaway: Correctly answered by Kirsty

In which country is the 120,000 capacity stadium The Krirangan?

The Fat Lady Clears Her Throat: Whilst mathimatically it's not quite over, Chelsea's win over Everton today effectively gives them their second title on the bounce, despite Man United's earlier 2-1 win at Spurs. For a few weeks it's been all ifs and butts, however now it's so straight forward that even the simplest football fan can understand it. Unless Chelsea lose their remaining three games AND Man United win their's, then the title will go to Stamford Bridge again and even if the unlikely scenario happens, United still need to pull back a goal difference of 12. Somewhat ironically, the next game for both clubs in the league is against each other in what will be Chelsea's last home game of the season. Now that would be one hell of a party should they draw or win and a bitter pill to swallow for United for the third year in a row, in itself a Prem record.

Portsmouth Dispair: Should Portsmouth eventually go down, they may point to today's result at Charlton as regards when they could have done better. A goal up for so long, only to lose to two late strikes and remain within three points of the drop zone and that's before West Brom play later tonight. A six point gap would would have been a massive psychological boost for them but it wasn't to be and now only time will tell whether they'll regret those final 14 minutes. Their run in is not straight forward, although they'd be expected to beat Sunderland, however today could have been so much better.

And So To Spurs: Tottenham's big week started badly with defeat at home to Man United, heaping the pressure on ahead of the huge North London derby next Saturday, a game which should make for vital lunchtime viewing. Normally I couldn't see Spurs getting anything from the game, however they have one thing in their favour - The Champions League. The league match is sandwiched between Arsenal's pair of games with Villarreal and if they have their mind on that one, Spurs might just sneak it. In fact, they'd probably be happy to go away with a point and keep distance between them and the Gunners, even with Arsenal having the game in hand.

Tuesday 18th April 2006
"Some find it in the face of their children. Some find it in their lover's eyes. Who can deny the joy it brings, when you've found that special thing." (Song Lyric)
Flying Without Wings - Westlife: Correctly answered by Kirsty

In September 2001, Spurs paid over �8m for which defender who, to date, is yet to make a full international appearance?
Dean Richards: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

So, Easter is over and what has been established? Well, Sunderland are definitely down and Leeds won't be taking their place, or at least not yet. Sheffield United will be however and will play the likes of Chelsea in 06-07 who are very shortly going to join the ranks of the elite to have won successive league titles. We've also learned that if you feel a game is going to be drab, trust your instincts! It's not that I wasn't looking forward to West Brom v Bolton, indeed with both clubs still having something to play for, it could have been a cracker! I didn't think so though and was tempted to watch the World Snooker instead on BBCi. Sadly I didn't (apart from half time) and wasn't exactly rewarded with a free flowing game of excitement and goals. At one point, the commentator mentioned that it was `tense` for the fans. I agree, but only for those fans of either club and not for those neutrals watching, one of whom was certain that a goal would be scored the minute I checked the snooker! But it wasn't and even a late sitter missed by Kevin Nolan failed to convince me that I'd made the right decision.

Wednesday 19th April 2006
"Most people. Same job, same gig, doing the same thing 10 years from now. Us, we don't know what we are doing 10 minutes from now." (Film Quote)

When Sheffield United were relegated in 93-94, who scored the last minute goal that sent them down?

Barca Halfway There: Whilst I only saw bits and bobs of Barcelona's 1-0 win in Milan, from what I've heard and read, they were good value for their win and are obviously hot favourites to make it to the final. The only goal was a cracker and illustrates just what Barca are capable of when on form and we can only hope that they face Arsenal in the final, partly from a Premiership bias point of view and partly due to what the final could be like if both clubs play to their potential. The Gunners still have to overcome Villarreal yet of course and that's another reason for wanting Arsenal through as we've had two same-nation CL finals in recent years and both have been drab with one goalless and the other one-sided.

Honours Even In Yorkshire: Despite Sheffield United looking like being Yorkshire's top team next season, we did at least manage to gain a creditable draw against them at Bramhall Lane last night and remarakbly remain unbeaten against the two promoted clubs this season with all four games ending 1-1. Looking further afield at the games against the rest of the top six, we still have Preston to play once more, but in the other nine games (including Reading and Sheff Utd), we've only lost once and that was the start of our recent poor run when Palace beat us. That said, we've only won two of them as well! Further proof that the play-offs will be tight.

Thursday 20th April 2006
"Walking through town is quite scary and not very sensible either. A friend of a friend he got beaten. He looked the wrong way at a policeman." (Song Lyric)

When Birmingham were promoted via the play offs in 2002, which two clubs did they beat to clinch a place in the Prem?

Have They Done Enough? That seems to be the question on the lips of the great British football fan this morning. Whilst Arsenal take a slender lead to Spain next week, will the 1-0 victory be sufficient to see them through to the final? Well, they had some luck against Villarreal last night and if that continues, there's every possibility. The goal was, admittedly, well made, however the Spaniards should have had a penalty and the ref was fairly lenient throughout, possibly influenced by the tendancy to wriggle around like a slug in salt at every possibility. Arsenal's own downfall was, once again, playing football that is too pretty and whilst passing their way through a lower-Prem defence that defends on the halfway line is a piece of cake, trying to do the same to a team with two banks of four squeezed into the middle is a disaster waiting to happen. On the plus side, no away goal conceded and I can see the Gunners scoring in Spain, making it an uphill task for the Spaniards if they do. All told, Villarreal were underestimated by many, including myself. Oh, and man of the match - definitely the squirrel!

Birmingham See Salvation: Three games to go at the bottom of the Prem and Birmingham can suddenly see the light as they are out of the drop zone on goal difference after beating Blackburn last night. That said, it took a late goal from Mikael Forssell to clinch the win but maybe that's a sign that things are looking up for the Blues. I watched Sky Sports News yesterday and heard an interview with Robbie Savage on how he hoped that Birmingham stay up and that he still likes the club despite his acrimonious departure to Blackburn. No surprise that he said it really and equally no surprise that the home fans jeered him throughout. So, again no shock that he pops up with an equaliser that could have helped send Birmingham down! At least Forssell's goal ensured that Savage got out of St Andrews in one piece!

Friday 21st April 2006
"I've seen you at Mass almost every day for 23 years. The only person comes to church that much is the kind who can't forgive himself for something." (Film Quote)

Steaua Bucharest won the 1986 European Cup by beating Barcelona on penalties, but which British born player was in the Barca starting XI that night?
Steve Archibald: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Spooky Coincidence: Somewhat scarily, the semi-finals of the European competitions have mirrored the quarters as regards the English clubs. Arsenal won the first leg of their QF 2-0 and Middlesbrough lost theirs by the same score. In the semi's, Arsenal won 1-0 and Boro have again lost by the same score as Steaua Bucharest beat them last night. Despite no away goal, it would be dopey to write Boro off, especially after effectively coming from three down at home to Basel last time around, however it has to be said that the Romanian's looked a decent side and restricted Middlesbrough to very few chances and could have quite easily scored two or three more themselves. I sincerely hope that I'm proved wrong, but my gut instinct is that this is a step too far for Boro. Of course, depending on how the long journey has affected them, it could also be bad news for them in Sunday's FA Cup semi final, although I have a feeling that they'll sneak by West Ham and then lose to Liverpool in the final.

Saturday 22nd April 2006
"I wish you could swim like the dolphins. Like dolphins can swim, though nothing will keep us together." (Song Lyric)

When Chelsea beat Liverpool 4-2 in the FA Cup in 1997, just one player from the starting 22 is still playing at the same club now. Which player?
Robbie Fowler: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Spurs' Fate In Their Hands: After weeks of ifs, buts and maybe's, Spurs now hold their Champions League fate in their own hands with a simple scenario. Following their 1-1 draw at Arsenal today, two wins from their last two games will see Spurs in the CL UNLESS the Gunners win the competition this season. But what a game eh! I'm not a Spurs fan, but that's more down to an in-bred dislike as a schoolkid rather than anything to do with the current side, who I think are excellent by the way, however I try and remain objective, so here goes. Spurs were the better team for most of the game and only after Henry and Fabregas came on and Spurs scored did Arsenal decide to pull their collective fingers out. Arsenal should have played their strongest team. They have, at most, five games to go after today, yet players are rested for a key game. I know that Tuesday's match is equally important, but a win today would have meant CL qualification is in their own hands. They didn't and it's not. The Spurs goal was interesting as regards the injury to Eboue and should Edgar Davids have kicked the ball out. But, watch the replay and as the build up begins, both Eboue and Gilberto are looking to get up until they see Spurs in attack when Eboue goes down again. Maybe gamemanship, maybe not? The bottom line is that the referee has the power to stop play if he feels an injury is serious and having checked on Eboue, he allowed play to go on. Davids did nothing wrong as regards the rules and whilst the sportsmanship aspect will be questioned, ask yourself this. You're in a great position against your biggest rivals both locally and in the league. You have a chance to cross for an attacker to tap in giving you a golden chance of Champions League football. Would you stop play on the possibility of an opponent being injured?? Finally, I've already heard an Arsenal fan saying that Davids has cost them a CL place. What rubbish! Eleven defeats compared to Spurs' eight in the previous 30-odd games is what has cost them!

Bye-bye Baggies: Well almost anyway. Today's results, a win for Portsmouth and a draw for Birmingham, coupled with West Brom well beaten at Newcastle, means that the Baggies are almost down and need to win their final two games and hope that Portsmouth lose theirs to stay up. Should they do it, and that seems unlikely, then last season's Lazarus style recovery will seem tame in comparison.

No Double For Chelsea: As predicted by yours truly yesterday, Liverpool are through to the FA Cup Final having beaten Chelsea this evening at Old Trafford. In many ways Liverpool deserved the win as they had the better of the first half and looked good in the second until the arrival of Joe Cole and Damien Duff. After that, it was another siege as Chelsea bombared Liverpool's goal with wave after wave of attacks. But that said, how many shots did keeper Jose Reina have to save? Very few as Chelsea failed to turned possession into chances. Okay, they really should have equalised late on when Joe Cole somehow missed the proverbial cows ass with the equally proverbial banjo, but this could be further proof that the gap is slowing getting smaller between Chelsea and the rest. They'll still win the title, probably next week, but this defeat will have hit them hard.

Sunday 23rd April 2006
"She was the meanest cat, oh she was really tough. She left her husband flat, He wasn't tough enough. She took her boys along cos they were mean and strong." (Song Lyric)

Which defender was West Ham's leading FA Cup scorer during their winning run in 1980?
Ray Stewart: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Hammers Plan Cardiff Trip: Yes, for the first time in 26 years, West Ham will grace an FA Cup Final and like in 1980, they'll start as strong underdogs, although whether they can do the improbable as they did back then is another story. Truth be told, if they play like they did in the first half against Middlesbrough today, then they may as well not turn up as they were pretty dire and in many ways lucky that Boro were only marginally better and didn't have the quality to strike. The second half was another story altogether as the Hammers completely dominated for 20 minutes and then struck brilliantly with a superb goal from Marlon Harewood, giving Boro little more than ten minutes to get back. I echo Alan Parry's sentiments about booking players for taking their shirts off as you only imagine the joy felt by Harewood when he scored and my initial thought was that he'd previously been booked. Thankfully I was mistaken. Somewhat spookily, the final minute of injury time saw another glaring miss from the losing side as Chris Riggott's shot almost hit the corner flag with the goal gaping, echoes of Joe Cole yesterday, albeit a very different shot. Finally, yes I will mention my prediction on Friday that Boro would reach the final. Okay, I was wrong but next Thursday sees a game which, if they lose, will see their exceptionally promising season go out of the window in the space of five days.

Monday 24th April 2006
"Whatever female-based, emotion-driven dilemma you may be dealing with right now, you have my sympathy. But right now, we need to break this down into male-based, fact-driven logic." (Film Quote)

Which side beat Selkirk 20-0 (Twenty-nil) in a Scottish Cup game in 1984?

It would seem that supermarket group Asda have opened the proverbial can of worms by announcing that their staff can take time off - unpaid of course - to watch any matches during the World Cup! Sounds like an ideal way to keep the staff happy, yet not so much the customers, many of whom are likely to be concerned that their local Asda will be desperately short staffed during June and July, or certainly when England games are on. It could be argued that there will be a large number of staff for whom football means nothing anyway and will be happy to work, but looking at the experience from WC2002 and Euro 2004, when England play, there are more and more part-time fans who will watch the game even if they haven't got the slightest idea who they are playing or can name any players apart from David Beckham. If that is the case, then Asda could indeed be struggling to cope with the members of the public that are left and only to glad to do their weekly shop when England are playing. Looking at the fixtures, one of England's group games is at 2pm, another at 5pm and the final one at 8pm. The obvious problems will arise for the 2pm one which happens to be the first match and on a Saturday afternoon! You wonder if this is the final decision from Asda or whether more thought will need to go into it. If not, then your local Asda on the 10th June could have one till open for masses of anti-football customers!

Tuesday 25th April 2006
"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that phase." (Song Lyric)

Wigan's first ever league game was a goalless draw away to which club?

Fulham Safe: Fulham's home game against Wigan last night was only really of interest to fans of either club or affiadarno's of placings in the league. Fulham needed a point to be 100% safe, whilst Wigan were still pressing for a European spot. Hardly earth-shattering material in fairness which is why I spent most of the evening either watching 24 (sky+ed from Sunday) or the snooker. I did catch the Fulham goal when I turned the TV over to see the half time score, but ultimately it was one of those games which had little impact outside of the two clubs playing.

FA Under Fire Again: Yes, those good guys at the FA have put their foot in it again by announcing the FA Cup Final referee too early. Originally it was due to be Mike Dean from The Wirral, however with Liverpool having made the final, they are concerned that many politically correct fans and Southerners like myself will feel that the two places are too close together and having instead appointed Alan Wiley to take charge instead. In many ways, I can see their point, however the other side of the coin is that they are bowing down to the few that believe a professional referee will potentially be biased towards one team. Jeff Winter, head of refs or whatever the position is called, has slated them and you can only feel sorry for Mike Dean whose slap bang in the middle and has been denied one of the biggest days in his career. Mind you, since when was the referee chosen BEFORE the finalists were known? It always used to be after the semi's were played.

Wednesday 26th April 2006
"He knew the risks, he didn't have to be there. It rains, you get wet." (Film Quote)

Arsenal's last European final was the UEFA Cup in 2000, but who was the only Gunners player to score in their penalty shoot out defeat?

Lucky Arsenal? Whilst I was delighted about Arsenal reaching the Champions League Final, you have to say that if some aspects of their game doesn't improve, then they could get slaughtered in the final. Defensively they were fairly solid with their tenth European clean sheet in a row, however Franco was very close with a couple of headers and had Diego Forlan been a bit calmer, then he should have scored rather than shaved the bar. Then of course came the penalty! Earned by some sensational amateur dramatics, I was off the sofa when Jens Lehmann saved it and ensured that justice was done, although I must admit that I wasn't looking to extra time for two reasons. Firstly that it meant a late night for me and secondly I felt sure that Arsenal would end up losing had it gone to the extra half an hour. So were the Gunners lucky? How about just one shot on goal in the whole second leg and that was in stoppage time? How about Gilberto Silva who should have conceded a penalty in the first leg and should have been sent off last night? Lets hope they haven't used all their luck up, although in an attacking sense, they have to do better when they face Barca or Milan and if Barca get there, which seems likely, the two finalists will have won the competition just once between them! And of course, we have the Barca/Henry connection which we had a reminder of last night.

Thursday 27th April 2006
"Funny how quick the milk turns sour, isn't it, isn't it? Your face has been looking like that for hours hasn't it, hasn't it?" (Song Lyric)
A Little Time - Beautiful South - Correctly answered by kirstymd

Liverpool and West Hame have met in a domestic cup final before, but at what ground was the 1981 League Cup REPLAY staged?

Yes, Barca will play Arsenal in the CL Final. All very expected and not the most exciting game in the world as they drew 0-0 with Milan to go through, however a few more talking points elsewhere...

Back in London, Liverpool beat West Ham in a dress rehersal for the FA Cup Final, however the main topic of discussion was the two late red cards dished out to Hayden Mullins and Luis Garcia, meaning that pending an appeal, both will miss the cup final. I have some sympathy for Mullins, as I do for most players who retaliate having been hit/fouled first. Garcia elbowed Mullins in the back having lost possession and then crashed to the ground when pushed as though he'd been hit by a .44 magnum. Appeals are on the cards from both clubs, however the FA are on a hiding to nothing as, if they reject the appeals they'll be called heartless but if they reduce the ban or make an exception, it'll set a precedent for future years if the same scenario unfolds. Indeed back in the 80s, I can recall at least two captains who were suspended from the cup final. I fully expect the FA to reject the appeals, leaving Garcia and Mullins as sick as the proverbial parrot.

It would seem that England are going against public expectation and opinion and have approached Phil Scolari to be the next England boss. Perhaps they felt that the likes of Allardyce, Pardew, Curbishley and McLaren weren't experienced enough or simply weren't good enough, however it will beg the question as to where the good future England manager's will come from - here or abroad? What will be interesting to see is if England face Portugal in the World Cup this summer, although my personal feeling is that they want him as his teams have knocked England out of the last two tournaments. If you can't beat them, get them to join you!

Friday 28th April 2006
Which actor has played the following characters in some of his films: Walter Finch, Sy Parrish and Daniel Hillard?

The last time that two English clubs reached European Finals in the same season was in the 80s, but which two clubs were involved?

Lightening Strikes Twice At The Riverside: Okay, how many people switched off or switched over when Middlesbrough conceded two goals in the opening twenty-four minutes last night? I know I did and instead watched some of the snooker up to the mid-session interval when I switched back for an update, just as Massimo Maccarone pulled one back. Thereafter it was like Groundhog Day as Steaua Bucharest fell foul to the same kind of amazing `three goals down` comeback that Basel had suffered three weeks ago. I suppose it was on the cards really from the moment that the commentator mentioned that Basel was a one-off and that it shouldn't and couldn't happen again. Two hours or so later and I'd leapt off the sofa more than once as Boro produced an astonishing performance on the back of an awful start. It was 10pm, I had to be up in under six hours and I was absolutely wide awake with no hope of getting to sleep quickly. There's little really to say that hasn't been said on the TV or in the papers today, apart from the fact that I'm glad I stuck with it was watched it live without (obviously) knowing the outcome and far from moaning to Boro for giving me a sleepless night, I should thank them for two of the most amazing nights of football we've seen in ages. One final thing, should they go 3-0 down in the first half against Seville in the final, get logged on to an online bookies who should be offering decent odds on a Boro win!

Saturday 29th April 2006
Which was the first film in which members of the cast were permitted to wear genuine NASA spacesuits?

Who was Charlton manager prior to the Steve Gritt/Alan Curbishley joint appointment?

Chelsea Champions: The inevitable finally happened today as Chelsea's 3-0 win over Man United clinched their second successive title. It's been on the cards for most of the season, despite the odd reservation for yours truly a couple of weeks ago when United were in stunning form and Chelsea weren't. Then came Sunderland at home for United and the rest is history. Love them or hate them, few would deny they have been consistantly the best team for the majority of the season and that they deserved the title and on today's showing, this was simply enforced. I must admit that I wondered how they'd approach the game just needing a point and had visions of them lying deep and picking United off on the break, however the early goal, courtesy of Sunday League defending from United, settled any nerves that they may have had and effectively set the party in progress. So congrats to Chelsea, however from an England viewpoint, it need leave some worries...

Metatarsal Jinx? Throughout the game, there seemed to be an underlying trend of injuries to England internationals with John Terry carrying a knock throughout and then Gary Neville having a limp. Then came an innocent - and perfectly legal - tackle from Paulo Ferreira on Wayne Rooney and England fans everywhere were left holding their breath as he was stretchered off in agony having taken a knock to his lower leg or foot. Whether it's the metatarsal again (who had heard of that prior to April 2002?) remains to be seen, however the early signs seem to be encouraging that he'll make Germany 2006. Of course, we had similar with Beckham in 2002 and he hardly looked fully fit throughout the tournament and you wonder if Sven will take the risk on Rooney if he's likely to be partially fit. One thing is for sure, whilst the Chelsea Champions headlines will be confined to the back page archive come Monday, the Rooney injury story will run until May 15th at least!

Black Day For The Black Country: Yes, Birmingham suffered the unusual (maybe even unique) fate of having two clubs from it's city relegated on the same day as, thanks to Portsmouth winning 2-1 at Wigan, both Birmingham, who drew 0-0 with Newcastle, and West Brom who didn't play, are relegated. The final day of the season will be a far cry from last season when the relegation dogfight was absolutely fascinating and edge of the seat stuff with four clubs battling to keep out of three places. This season, much like the Championship, all the major placings are sorted with only really the European spots still up for grabs and there is still question marks over that thanks to the Arsenal situation. Should be an entertaining couple of games on Sky next Sunday!

Curbs Gone: The sacking/resignation/parting of company of Alan Curbishley from Charlton came out of the blue to say the least, especially as he's the third longest serving boss in all four divisions (after Dario Gradi and Sir Alex) and sparks obvious questions as to whether he'll be taking a role in the England management job after the World Cup or maybe even moving onto bigger things (Newcastle?) as regards a league club. It could also be a blessing in disguise for Charlton who recently have been dire and grateful that they've amassed a decent number of points earlier in the season. It was good to see the crowd give him a standing ovation near the end of their defeat at home to Blackburn today if only as it saved them booing the players off. So with Mr Scolari out of the frame for England, will it be Curbishley? I personally don't think it will...so get your money on him now!!

Sunday 30th April 2006
"There's no sign on the gate and there's mud on your face. Don't ya think it's time we re-investigate this situation?" (Song Lyric)
Big Mistake - Natalie Imbruglia: Correctly answered by Matt Robbins

Spurs last qualified for Europe having won the league cup, however who was their manager at the time?

Premiership? You're `having a laugh! Having just watched Preston beat a `below strength` Leeds team 2-0, I can only concede that anyone who expects us to go up via the play offs this season needs therapy. I know they're a lottery and that this wasn't our first choice line up, but this performance was painful to watch against the team that we now face in the two legged game. I got the impression that Preston were playing within themselves, especially second half, and had they shifted up a gear then it could well have moved from `painful` to embarrassing. On the plus side, it's best to get any crap displays out of the way in a game that effectively was irrelevant (Indeed a friend of mine was half hoping for a defeat he'd then be in Leeds for the home leg of the play offs!) however it doesn't change the fact that I feel we are capable of producing a similar performance again. Surely the home crowd at Elland Road will lift the team in what should be one of the highest crowds of the season, but realistically, I feel we'll be facing Southend next season.

Spurs Edge Closer: Yes, they are almost in the Champions League now and regardless of what Arsenal do for the rest of their games, a win at West Ham in their final match will guarantee fourth place. In truth, Bolton were the better side today and had everything except that cutting edge up front. They should have had at least one, possibly two, penalties, yet football being the wonderful game that it is, it all counted for nothing as Spurs scored a lovely goal on the hour to win the game. But credit to them, they rode their luck and took the chance when it came and ultimately the newspapers tomorrow will show a 1-0 win. Of course, even if they clinch fourth place, there's still the matter of the Champions League Final and we know what happens if Arsenal win that!

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